4 countries in 3 weeks, however it seemed to last only 3 minutes except for the most of the flights.

Friday

Made the train to Manchester Airport at Huddersfield by a whisker. Good job I had already bought a ticket. The best way to Manchester avoiding Friday nights M62 and M60 nightmares.

My plan was to ask for an earlier connection having missed 2 flights from Heathrow before due to late outbounds from Manchester. Got the thumbs up for that and was told my original flight was cancelled. My earlier flight departed on time (but on time for my original booking!).

80 spare seats on the outbound to Singapore so I got space and rest.

Saturday
Into Changi 20 mins early and a breeze through formalaties and no taxi line. Booked into the Tristar on the end of Geylang Road and went scouting. Great to be back with the sights,sounds and smells of Asia.
Plenty of talent out at 7pm.

Back for a shower and out again. Had a great meal for only 5SD. Paid 50SD for a 24 year old Sri Lankan to take the edge off my other appetite. I priced up a few Chinese but they required a second mortgage.I then took a taxi to Orchard Towers to have a beer or three and sign up a long term candidate.

The taxi driver cofirmed it would not rain tonight despite the black sky and the lightning. As soon as he had said it the heavens opened. On arrival I had forgotten which was the lady boy haunt but a glance inside confirmed the one. I had a few beers with a fellow northerner expat who guided me on pricing. I nearly took a Filippina with a stunning body until she told me she was on the 7am flight out of town. I also came close to employing an Indonesian lady whose nipples nearly broke my ribs when she bumped into me. I told her my price and she said no. She did another 2 circuits and came back and agreed to my price only for a minute later going back to her original price. I guess she must do more laps than Jenson Button at that rate.

I took a happy smiling Thai who was on her first night back in Singers. She had good English and made me happy twice. Not bad for an old man!

I nodded off after she had gone and woke to find my watch had stopped. I checked with reception and I had less than 30 mins to check out. I was directed to Geylang Road for breakfast. To a muslim food court! I couldn't see any bacon sandwiches so I got half a loaf with an omlette stuck to it. That and coffee and orange juice came to 4SD.

I also got a new watch battery and a new casio watch with a 50 metres water resistance for 30 SD. More importantly I could tell the time without the aid of my specs.

I hopped in a taxi to the ferry (10SD) as soon as I got in the terminal I suffered a bout of brain death. I forgot the name of the recommended ferry company, never saw any money changers, humped my own bag to the departure lounge and sat there waiting for the Penguin Ferry. Everything went like clockwork. I had a chuckle on the ferry as on my last trip the theme word was billy as in Billy no mates, Billy new suit etc. Here they had a Boiling Billy in the snack bar. I got a few glances from some of the younger female passengers which I accepted as a good omen for the next few nights.

Immigration a breeze (go to the left). Changed some SD's and asked at one of the two Hotel desks for the Panorama. I was directed to the other desk and got a deal inc breakfast at 69 SD,s. I was directed to a taxi queue and took a price of 35000Rps.
The taxi was stopped on the forecourt of the Panorama and checked for bombs!

The hotel was excellent as was the service. I took a walk for a fact finding mission and found everywhere dead at that time of the afternoon including Lucys and PP Bananas.
Got a shave for 20000RPs. At this point I wished I had got better info on the MPs and karaoke places.

I went out at night and kept to the bars who all had some available talent at different levels. A couple took my eye but I didn't do a deal. I ended up in a bar watching 'Final Score' for the last ten minutes of the Premiership Season. Delighted that former Shayman Geof Horsfield had knocked one in for the Baggies I did a deal with a very attractive girl. On all my previous transactions the price was given in RP's without the thousands, i.e. 20000Rps was 20. I concluded the deal going from 100 to 150 for LT.

I had an excellent night.

Monday

Had a little problem concluding the financial aspects as she claimed the deal was done in SD's not RP's. This was resolved to mutual satisfaction.

Breakfast in the hotel. I've never had beef bacon before and will never have it again. Bloody awful. It pissed down in the morning and only later did I get out to check the internet cafe and the locations of some of the MP's. I set off in search behind the Goodway Hotel. I wish it said to the left as I walked a fair bit to the right first. Having spotted a couple I had a beer and went back for a snooze. When I woke up rain was torrential again. However it soon stopped and I went I search of the talent.

I tried the Sidona County and had a beer. It was a strange fishbowl as it wasn't tiered and you did not see all the merchandise on display. I did see a couple of possibles but discounted one as she appeared to have a cigarette welded to her hand. Business must have been slow as they cleaned the glass in the bowl so punters could get a better look. It seemed to work as a punter came in pointed the finger paid the money and marched out with his bride all in the space of a couple of minutes.

I moved on th a KTV place called Orchid but was not impressed. I went back to Sidona and after another beer selected R. On the march back to the Panorama I was acosted by a group of kids asking for 1000RP as they were hungry. I marched all 4 to a street side cafe and sat them down. What do you want to eat? 'Chicken' '4 chicken meals please' The locals were amazed by this Mister treating the kids. Drinks? 3 Cokes and one orange. Sum total 34000RP 2 quid, 3 dollars a bargain to see them tuck in. I also got a few brownie points with R and she set about me with enthusiasm back in the room. Later she told everybody we met what I had done.

I wanted to try a Food Court and the hotel staff recommended A1. When we got there things fell into place. A large open air space with umpteen tables and kitchens all around the outside. What really clicked were the beer girls. Miss Vodka Miss Heineken Miss Tiger. I must have had a free drinks sign on my back as loads of the beer girls came by to sit and chat and for me to buy them a beer. R introduced me to her 'sister' who did not have much of a family resemblance but she did promote a vodka drink. I bought quite a few drinks for the extended family. As we left the sister made arrangements to stay in my room after she finished work at 2am. Who was I to disagree.

She duly arrived and decided to get in bed with us fully clothed!!!!! At least I managed to get her out of her jeans and into my trunks!!!!!

Tuesday

She coughed all night and kept saying she was sick when I mentioned horizontal entertainment in place of room rent. She left in the morning full of smiles. I left R in bed and went down for breakfast minus the beef bacon. Outside was the sister shouting at one of the bell hops. I went out to see what the problem was and she hurled abuse at me saying she hated me. I shrugged my shoulders and went back in.

The previous night I had extended my stay in the hotel for another night. I had a post breakfast nap and was in the middle of a bonk when the phone rang. Reception wanted to know if I was checking out. I explained the situation only to be told I needed another voucher to maintain the cheap rate (the other option was the rack rate of 120 SD's - 51 dollars more!). I asked if she was serious? Had I to go back to the terminal and get another voucher. I ring you back Mr Jaime. I just got the engine started again when she rang back. You can pay me cash and I will get you the voucher.

As R was treating me good I gave her the cash (280,000RPs) to book another day. She cleared off with a return time of 5pm agreed.

At the appointed time she returned with a friend. We had a chat and her friend was coming with us for a meal but she wanted a shower first as I did. She went first and was ages so I popped my head round the door to see she was in the bath. I does rain a lot in Batam but I thought we had better save water and she washed all my bits for me. Unfortunately the bath lead to my new watch shipping in water. I was on the 10th floor nowhere near 50 metres below sea level.

We had the Golden Prawn recommended so I booked the hotel taxi for a couple of hours and headed out. I drew out half a million from an ATM on the way. The place was impressive but bloody expensive. There were a number of locals eating there so I guess I had bule price stamped all over me.

Back in the room 2 for one was mentioned and I agreed. Having seen what the friend had to offer in the bath that was a no brainer. In a twinkle R was in the bathroom and we were in our birthday suits. Very nice it was too.

On conclusion they said they wanted to go to Pacific Disco for a mates birthday party. I said I was too old and going early in the morning and they could go and not bother coming back. There is only so much a body can take!

Unfortunately I was unable to tip them because of the Golden Prawn prices and I only had 50000 Rps for the taxi in the morning. Not a problem they said. They were probably relieved they didn't have to boom boom me any more. I classed bonking the friend as having a free one.

When they had gone I got the wanderlust and searched all my pockets in discarded clothes and found another 350000 that I had forgotten about due to trying to keep all the beer girls in a job the night before. So I went out for a few beers. I had only been in town a short time but still ladies were calling my name as I walked down the street.

I went in the Last Pub and got a bollocking for not bringing my England Euro 2004 shirt for them to nail to the ceiling. I fell in lust with one of the staff there. Next was the Ice Pub and then back to the hotel for the shirt. I handed it over and a cheeky Australian advised them to disinfect it first, I could only assume he was jealous.

I missed out on Miss Lust but took a chunky older lady (32) back for the bargain price of 100,000RPs. She did a great massage and she squirted me in the eye with Mothers Milk.
Sadly she failed to find any lead in my pencil but got an 'A' for effort. I sent her home after a refreshing drink of warm milk!

Wednesday

I was up and in the taxi by 8.30 am and on the 9.15 ferry. From the terminal I took a taxi to Geylang Lor 8 and booked a room for the aftermoon. I ventured out at 1.30 hoping prices reduced in the sunshine. I took an absolute stunner from China. She had no English and the price was negotiated via the numbers fed in to the mobile phone screen. The deal done at 70SD. It was a fair walk back to my hotel which had her complaining. At reception she asked the guy on reception to ask if I had any condoms! It was worth the wait when she got her kit off. No BJ and fake moans but I didn't care.

I had another snooze and then went out for a meal and a massage. I took a statuesque Chinese girl who was working a doorway on Geylang Road. 30SD for a 50 minute massage. We soon started a discussion of extras and I settled for a hand shandy. She really earned her 50SD's.
Back to the room I got showered and changed and off to Changi.

Some space on the plane so I got 2 seats. We were into a head wind and 45 minutes late into Brisbane. A long queue at immigration. I made checkin with 2 mins to spare and had to run to catch the train to the Domestic terminal. Unfortunately my luggage did not run and it missed the flight to Hervey Bay.

I stopped with a friend and his family for the next 6 nights doing tourist stuff. Fraser Island Australia Zoo etc. I had a fabulous time and was well accepted by his friends. It was only on my last day that I bought a local paper and found there was an opportunity for P4P in the area.

Thoughts on Singapore

Plenty of action at all prices. The cost of beers in Orchard Towers rises in line with the floor numbers. Don't worry about safety.
You can get virtually any nationality you want.

Thoughts on Batam

Good place to go for cheaper alternative to Singapore. I'm sure super hotel bargains can be found however Panorama is good value for a first visit. Read up well before you visit. Don't expect a tourist location. Not a shoppers paradise.
I did see 2 different people with a Morrisons shopping bag???????
Hello Mr makes a change from 'Hello hansum man sit down please'. 2 or 3 days max unless you want golfing etc.

Part 2 home via Thailand!!!!!

Jaime (AKA the Shayman)

Jamie,

I enjoyed reading your trip report! I'm looking forward to the next one. I wish I could have been there with you. Hell, I wish I could be anywhere but here.

Yujin

Jamie,

Great report and it was too bad we didn't meet up when you were in my neck of the woods. Batam is pretty tough to do solo on a first trip. But I know you do well almost anywhere. Next time you come this way give me a holler!

Great Report.
Stratone