Knowing my window was rapidly closing to try the much-lauded Oasis, I was there shortly after the opening bell (opens at 9AM). I’ve read reviews where people complained about the stairs and rickety massage tables and whatnot, but I gotta tell you, I loved Oasis and would say it one of the best values I got in CR. It’s crisp and clean, and I love how the girls all stand up and present themselves in a little semi-circle for your delectation. I mean, come on, that’s theater. (Side Note: Barcelona brothels are even better, in that each girl comes to you individually and briefly embraces you so you get a little taste before you choose, but that’s the Old Country).

No real stunners among the 7 or 8 girls that morning but enough choices to make me pause and select among several totally acceptables. I usually prefer slender, petite brunettes, but I went against type and chose a tall, big-chested blonde, with a very nice smile. Name started with an “M”, but I lost the piece of paper she wrote it on, sorry gents. She quickly agreed to kissing con lenguas and, to my delight, a bbbj.

In the room I fondled her large and well shaped tatas with hands and mouth and she was very friendly and playful. She is a big girl but not fat at all. Just statuesque. The medium sized room had a real massage table in the center, and I lay on my stomach and put my face in the hole as she did a great strong massage. Flipping over and getting ready for Act 2, she asked for a propina for doing bbbj. I thought this was an ambush since she’d agreed to do it without mentioning such conditions out in the lobby, but since the base price is only 10K colones to begin with I decided I can’t really can’t complain about paying a bit more to get the special service I like. I said Si and she proceeded to give a very nice one. I held out for about 15 minutes and she never complained or tried to rush me. Just kept working away. When the climax came she took the first 2 shots ‘en boca’ then finished me by hand. After cleaning I asked ‘Mas massage?” and she cheerfully proceeded to give me a delightful full frontal massage. Legs, belly, chest, face. Again, the perfect wind-down as I lay in afterglow. Shower, dress, bye-bye and I was in my car with 4 minutes left on the 1 hour street parking ticket I’d purchased before coming in (500 colones).

Fired up the 4X4 and blasted off towards Puntenaras to check out the annual Festival of the Virgin (apropos, eh?) and the faded glory of a town that had been the coffee export capital of the country in the late 1800’s, but has since fallen on hard times. Had read an old report about a bar in Puntenaras run by an American where you can get the scoop on local mongering, but once there I found it had since closed. Saw a few other backstreet bars with screens in the doorways, but they looked pretty menacing and the women lurking near them pretty nasty, no make that really nasty. So I strolled the beach-front street that was being decked out for that evening’s big festival, flirted with as many cute chicas as I could make eye contact with (hey you never know, you might get lucky, right?) and enjoyed the scene as the only gringo in evidence. It was crowded and busy and interesting but hot as hell, so I pointed the 4X4 back to San Jose in the early afternoon and plotted the next phase of my next mongering adventure.

As I drove, I thought about how many times I’d paid $20 for a Lap Dance just to get 3 or 4 minutes of reasonably hot contact, but what a piss poor excuse for P4P a Lap Dance really is compared to what’s available for similar $ in CR. And I thought about all the less expensive Tica-oriented places I’d researched in San Jose, where you can get an hour of full-on sexo for about $13, or a ½ hour for about $7.

So I decided I’d hit a number of these low priced MP’s during my last 2 days in CR and think of each $7 half-hour session as an “Extreme Lap Dance”, where instead of paying $20 to feel a dancer’s boobs for a few minutes in a crappy chair in a crowded room with Bon Jovi screaming at you, I could bang the brains out a perfectly hot chica for a half hour on a bed in a private room for $7, with a shower. And do one chica after another, actually trying NOT to climax, just getting my freak on with each one a half hour at a time, and letting the sexual tension build. Then blow it all out with some hottie with whom you just CAN’T stop. And maybe have a total of $50 or 60 invested in the whole enterprise. Now that’s value.

Reaching San Jose I downed a Vitamin V and made my first stop at Bar Dandy. Same owners as Bar Idem and reportedly the AAA farm team for Idem girls. Place itself looks new and, although small, is more upscale than Idem. More like a mini-Zona Blue. They open at 4 and it was already 5:30 but they only had 3 girls in evidence, two giggly young pudgies at the bar, and an older, pro-looking Dominicana drinking with a customer at the small tables in the rear. So I had a Corona to start getting in the mood and assessed my interest level in possibly doing one of the pudgies. After 5 minutes of imagining and ¾ of the beer, that notion was not gaining any support in my libidinal regions so I swigged the rest, said Adios and hit the street in the waning daylight. I’d say that Bar Dandy is worth a try for others, but probably later in the evening. The rooms are probably pretty nice and the price is very reasonable. If you go, be sure to check out the cool vintage car showroom across the street. Some fine old rides.

Next stop was the pair of MP’s almost next to each other, 747 and Cha Cha Cha (aka Calla Lilly’s, I think). The thing about working from a map is, you can’t really tell what a neighborhood is going to be like. And this neighborhood was a little frightening. Had gotten totally dark and rainy by the time I arrived and there were lots of sketchy-looking characters lurking around on the corners and in the doorways between my parking garage and the MP’s. In all my CR travels this was the first time I felt at all in danger. But I just stood tall and walked fast towards what I believed to be the places. Building fronts were all dark and I was having trouble identifying 747. A certifiable whacko with no shirt was running up the sidewalk across the street wailing “Puta!” at the top of his lungs and stopping every so often to pound loudly on a wall or door. It was a freaky freakin’ scene. Fortunately a helpful lurker pointed at 747 and shook his head, then pointed further down the block and nodded. So I figured 747 was closed and walked on down looking for Cha Cha Cha in what I’d read described as “the purple house”. And purple it is.

I strode up the walk, across the porch and through the front door into a pleasant, Victorian-style entrance hall where a tall, attractive but weary-looking young woman greeted me. She spoke no English so I simply asked “chicas por sexo?” She nodded and showed me the 2 available. They were both mid-30’s pro-looking heavies and I was not impressed enough with either to pull the trigger. I asked ‘Mas chicas?” and she indicated 2 more girls were already working in the back. The hostess was actually fairly hot so I smiled at her and indicated my interest. Unfortunately she was not on the menu, so I said gracias and prowled back out into the night.

Checking the monger map I ventured a block or so further northwest to Bar Monaco. It was almost empty and the vibe was pretty dismal so I did a quick look-around and left. It might get better later in the evening. These 3 places are in the Avenida 9, Calle 6 area and I’d advise anyone interested in checking them out to limit visits to the daytime unless you’re with friends. It’s sketchy at night alone.

Ready for a part of town I was more familiar with I headed over to the Avenida 7 strip, closer to the gulch. Fearing I may have been wasting my time seeking jewels in the lower tier MP’s I hopped up the stairs of top-price, yet allegedly dependable Krisis, expecting a tempest of beauties to be waiting. Well, either the hotties were already in the back working, or these 5 had been recently beaten with the Ugly Stick, cause that was one scary-looking bunch of ho’s. Nary a one within my acceptable limits. Again, it may get better later.

Hastening a retreat I went further down the Avenue searching for Muses, which is reportedly the former Jocelyn’s for any vets reading this. VERY low key entrance. No signage. Just a little night-lit doorbell at the place on the map where this MP is supposed to be. I rang it and quickly heard the encouraging rustling of the door being opened. A lovely young thing ushered me into a large quiet lobby where 4 young chicas were lounging on easy chairs and sofas watching TV. They all stood (which I like) and I was very pleased. All young, shapely, good-looking 7’s, 8’s and 9’s. I thought I’d start with a very pretty, petite young Nica with long dark hair and beautiful green eyes, but told myself I would try to practice Extreme Lap Dance control so I could do a couple of the others after her.

We made a deal for 10K colones for an hour that included kissing but was strictly C on the BJ. The room had a decent double bed and I didn’t make a point to look too closely at the linens, but hey, at these prices it ain’t the Ritz. She lived up to the Nica reputation for loving to bone, and I enjoyed feasting on her near-perfect natural C’s. I fully intended to hold back and save my load but she was just too damned hot. I showered (bathroom in the hall has a single stall) and tipped her 5K colones, for which she was genuinely surprised and grateful. That’s the way I like it. Muses may be hit and miss like all MP’s, but I recommend it based on my experience. Would be ideal for a series of ½ hour Extreme Lap Dances if you can hold your leche.

Sated for the time being I grabbed a quick and satisfying roast chicken dinner and headed over to see what the Saturday night edition of the BM looked like. It was as crowded as ever, but I still didn’t see much talent I’d get excited about. Headed over to the Key Largo for a change of scene. A hot Latin band was playing and I was quickly picked up by a tall slender dark-skinned Cubana with long curly black hair who got me out on the dance floor with her. Man could she move! Those girls have ball bearings in places that gringa bitches don’t even have places. That was the closest thing to vertical sex I’ve ever had. What a revelation.

Taking a sweaty break we retreated to the back bar and I got us drinks. We stood along the wall by a window and talked. Her English was very good. She said she is a student and soon introduced me to another “student” friend of hers, a bit shorter and plumper, but very friendly who joined us standing against the wall. Well pretty soon I’m groping both of them freely and they’re groping me back and are suggesting we go to my hotel as a 3-some. I realized I was being gracefully but determinedly hustled by some pretty experienced pros, wasn’t that attracted to either of them, figured they’d want top dollar, and didn’t have a place to take them anyway, so I passed on that action, but I believe it’s always there for any of you that are interested. And the dancing’s free.