The name of this travel report is aptly titled
"Things Have Changed". I originally was going to
call it "And Dont Forget to Sleep", but I didnt
want any copyright infringement issues with Bluestraveller. In addition to only eating once a day, I notice that I have been getting by on only 3-4 hours of sleep every night of my 12 day trip. No clue how I am still able
to walk and talk with all the sleep deprivation.

1) Unfortunately, the days of going to 4x4, getting two girls and still having 50R left for the cab ride back to Copa, are finished for good. Between the airplane tickets, hotels and garota prices, Brasil has been slowly creeping out of my budget range. With the exchange rate at 2.25R, it is now more expensive to have fun in Brasil, than when it was 1-1. Dont get me wrong, I still love Brasil, but I will have to
scale down my number of trips. Looks like I will be regulated to 2 or 3 trips a year from now on, unless I score a part-time job with the airlines, so I can travel for free.


2) I work in the financial industry, so time
management is extremely important to me. Nothing
drives me more crazy than the garotas total lack of respect for my time. They will make appointments with you and then not show. When you finally get in touch with then 2 hours later, its like "Oh, sorry baby, I had a problem". I then ask them "Did it occur to
you that maybe you should call me instead of having me waste 2 hours waiting for you?"

Now before everybody starts chiming in about the concept of "carioca time", let me just say that its nothing more than an excuse to be rude. The reason why I know "carioca time" is bullshit, is because if you do it to the girls, they go completely
ape shit!! I had a girl on this trip who stood me up twice on my last vacation, I decided that payback was in order. I called her up and told her to come by my apartment (I used the perfect cheese to gurantee she would show up, the promise of American Presents!) I then took off and went to 4X4. She blew up my cell
phone for 3 hours straight trying to find me. When I answered I tried to be as sweet and non-chalant as possible. "Oi baby. Where am I? I am in centro. Oh yeah! I am sorry baby!! I forgot I was supposed to meet you. Something came up and I had to leave. Lets get together tomorrow so I make sure you get these presents I brought for you".

I pulled the same stunt the next day at our scheduled meeting time. She called me up cursing me out! I then told her "You see how mad you are right now? Well thats how I feel when you stand me up without calling me! Doesnt feel very good does it?" Needless to say, but she has not stood me up or been late again for any of our scheduled romps.


3) The reverse Superman routine! You know how superman dashes into a phone booth and changes into his costume whenever there is work to be done, well the girls have mastered the reverse Superman wardrobe change! Here is how it works, you roll over in the morning and look lustily at your Help garota from the previous evening, thinking "I cant wait to hit it
again, but, let me use the bathroom first". In the 5 minutes it takes you to take a piss, wash your face and brush your teeth, you will come out of the bathroom, to discover a previously asleep garota, fully dressed and ready to leave. She will have her hand out and will be sweetly asking you for the money, because she has to leave quickly. Unfortunately, she
has some prior commitment that prevent you from
getting some morning bunda.


4) New lesson that I learned the hard way on this
trip, never give a garota your key when paying for drinks in a terma. You may not feel like waiting for the waitress to get around to you and decide to rip your key off your arm and let her walk up to the bar and order the drinks. But you may be unpleasantly surprised to find out that you just bought drinks for
her and a few of her buddies. Unfortunately, there is no way to keep track of your running tab until you get ready to leave and are handed your bill.


5) Got snagged by two of those damn shit flingers. One of those guys was truly amazing, he must have hit me from about 15 feet away and the crap landed right on the top of my sneakers, while I was walking very quickly into my building, unbeleiveable shot! The other
flinger must have thrown the entire fucking bucket at me, the entire front of my sneaker was covered with the car axle grease, never felt a thing. Didnt give either one a single centavo, just went inside and cleaned it myself.

6) Got some fantastic advice by two
police officers who work in Copa on how to handle a situation where a gpd has called the cops on you.(Mind you, this will only work if you are staying in an apartment) "Thumper, the best way to deal with police in Rio, is NOT TO DEAL WITH THEM!!" They both told me "The reason why you guys get ripped off
all the time, is because you have the American mindset when you come to brasil. You guys always want to come outside and try to work everything out with the police. JUST STAY IN THE FUCKING APARTMENT!! Dont answer the phone when the potero calls upstairs and
do not come out to talk to the cops. Trust me, the cops are not going to break down the door and drag you out to jail because you owe some gpd an extra 50R! They will wait for about 10 minutes and then just leave. If you come downstairs to handle the situation, you are then at the mercy of the cops and they can charge you any amount they want." Never had this happen to me, but I will keep it in mind if it does.

7) The infamous Diana from club help has left Brasil to live with her new husband in LA. 3 guesses where she spent her last evening in Rioļ She asked me for my email address so she could come and visit me in New York. We have started a betting pool on how long her marriage is going to last before she is back in Copa.


8) Amazing the number of married women you will see in Help who are in Brasil "visiting family". Every trip, I run into women who have gotten married and moved to either the states or Europe and they will be dancing and working their ass of in Help. I know damn well they dont need the money, so I guess they do it
for the "Just want to see if I still have it"
motive.

9) Guys, you have to stop trying to help every monger you come across, some guys can¡¦t handle the truth. You may be trying to stop them from making a huge mistake and this fool may run straight to the gpd and tell her everything you said, which will then cause you all types of headaches. Unless this guy is a really close friend, best to just let them go thru the
bullshit, it will make him stronger in the end.


10) Within my first 3 hours in Brasil, I saw 2 robberies happen. Luckily, both assailants were caught by angry crowds within minutes. I have a feeling that they both got the shit kicked out them before the police were summoned.


11) Big vote coming up for Brasil on the decision on whether to ban the sale of firearms. One police officer told me that if they ban the sales, he will become a very rich man! He said that he can would make so much money selling illegal firearms to private
citizens, that he could retire from the force and
never work again. Unfortunately, that will also work for the banditos, they will also make boat loads of money selling illegal guns.

Good report and so true.Rio is getting pretty expensive.From LAX you are lucky to find something under $800us, even in the $800 range is hard these days.Of course the strong reais don't make things any easier along with the increase of prices on services.I can't bring myself to cut down yet, but it might be heading that way in the near future.I definitely curtail my activities there now a days.

Yeah them girls are pretty bad on time, which we don't have a lot of while in Rio.I was hanging with a garota who use to do the same thing, but when I was even a minute late,she would definitely let me know about it.Also I'm getting sick of girls using my room as a crash spot till THEY are ready to wake up and leave.Its one thing if your fucking most of the time,but time is valuable and I try my best to wake them up and get rid of them(so much for paying whores them to leave,lol).They sure know how to sleep after a night of drinking, dancing and fucking,lol.

So Diana finally arrived in LA.She told me she have been married for a year.Oh well, all I can say is Boa Sorte to that guy she married,he is gonna need it.As long as these ho's have a pussy and we have dicks,these incidents will continue to occur.All it takes is one good garota to get you under their spell and it all over, no matter what you said you wouldn't do or your friends warn you about.I will tell dudes what not to do before anything happens, but once they are whipped, you are better off letting them learn for themselves,even if its your close friends.Thats how friendships end.I have seen dudes get into fights over pussy and break rank from the boys....Can you imagine grown men doing this?..pussy is a hell of a drug,lol.(that was for the Dave Chapelle show fans.lol)

BTW, I don't know about Diana's marriage, but I'm willing to bet she will be in Help within a year while visiting and "hanging with her friends" as if thats the only club in all of Rio de Janeiro to go to.

(Message edited by ee2002 on October 21, 2005)

Thumper, thanks for posting the information. I really appreciate it--you're one of the most knowledgeable Rio vets IMHO, so your input helps everybody. Hope I don't need the "dealing with the cops" tip though.

A response I've used to the "reverse Superman" routine is to say, "Look, I'm paying you more to spend the night AND have sex in the morning, not just for you to leave. You can leave now if you have to, but I won't pay you as much." [Haven't tried it in Brasil, but it works in LOS.]

BTW, are any pics of Diana posted, for those of us who may not know her by name?

Thumper...Thanks for sharing a realistic slice of mongering in Rio...I've lived 1, 2 and 3 in Rio, as well.

Ee2002, cant tell you how many times Ive seen guys try to help out other mongers, by telling the the truth about their "girlfriends". 7/10, it ends in disaster. They just dont want to believe that the girl is working while they are gone, or that she has other boyfriends who are sending her money, or that she may have deseases.

Most times the guy will run straight to the girl and say "Bob told me that you are still working and the you might have an STD!" Now Bob is going to have a huge headache because the girl is going to hate him for telling her boyfriend the truth.

Thumper, other than just giving guys general advice like, dont pay hookers money, dont fall in love, dont get fantasies of children a white picket fence a happily ever after... guyd arent into advice.

Guys that are passionat will beieive what they want to believe, no matter what the facts say. Unfortunately you attempt to help him will likely end up with her not liking you. She will then use her influnence on him to convince him you are bad and dont want them together. It will be a big soup opera.

I had a girl who was milking guys for money. They knew full well what they were doing...and they were not newbies on this board. I kept my mouth shut specidically but generally I said to them they should never date a working girl

Well both she and he ended up being mad at me for trying to help. Its a shame, but thats life. perhaps there is a more clever, way to open guys o=eyes to the reality withoout making him mad/.

Another thing guys might want to keep in mind,when you warn guys/friends and they run and tell their "girl friend",you are playing with fire.Some of these girls become crazy,when they think that their money train ride is in danger of ending.I have seen my share of fights break out,so you know you are not dealing with stable girls in the Copa scene.

I have personally known garotas who threatened to have someone killed (i didn't necessarily believe it, but why chance it),because of situations like that.So if you don't wanna ruin a friendship or get beat or killed by some favela rat,you should refrain from trying to help,unless it's an extreme emergency case.

perhaps there is a more clever, way to open guys o=eyes to the reality withoout making him mad/.
Mailing him a pixxx of his "GF" suxing your dick BB might help.

Hey Thumper,

It was great to have finally meet you in HELPE and hope to run into you when we are both in Rio again. I know that you had a good trip, even with all the drama that is going on with the garotas, but how about telling us about some fine women that you had hooked up with there in Rio.

Coats001, GCL, Ee2002, you guys are so right. Sometimes its best just to sit back and watch the train wreck from a safe distance. I do know a group of 6 guys from Chicago who always travel together who use the "intervention" technique. Whenever they notice one of their buddies getting too close to a particular girl, they will run an intervention for him.

What they do is, during the day when their friend goes to a terma, they will call the girl's cell phone and have her come by the apartment. Then they will have a big gang bang and take videos and pics. Its a fucked up thing to do, but its HIGHLY effective!

When you see one of your buddies fucking your girl in the ass while she sucks your best friend's dick, suddenly you dont think she all that special anymore!!

Dino700, it was cool meeting you too. Great thing that your such a nice guy, cause you look intimidating as hell, guy is built like Schwarzenegger!!

As far as the girls go, I basically stuck to the same 3 or 4 girls from Help. I only went to MC and 4x4 on this trip and I called the internet alot. I did get lucky one night and run into Gabriella and Sofia Munoz (former Karla Model girls) in front of help. They spent the night for 300R.

It's funny the way these girls can sleep through anything until the sun comes up and it's safe to go home. My sweetheart has told me she only spends the night to avoid being robbed when leaving late at night. She's been ripped off 3 times in the last year while leaving at night and now looks for a guy that wants her to spend the night, only to bail on him early in the am .

Where's the customer service nowadays ? Lol

(Message edited by Back12draft on October 23, 2005)

That seems like a pretty effective strategy Thumper.

excellent advice, and all is noted... I've only been to Rio twice, and this is invaluable info! thanks