Chapter I

This is a report about my second trip to Rio which I enjoyed as much as my first trip. I did not write a report about my first trip because I felt that I really did not have anything to add to the veteran reporters who have far more knowledge than I have about the Rio scene.

However after reading AZguy’s excellent first time report before I left, I was inspired and determined to write a report when I returned. The unique events (which I will detail later) that occurred while in Rio made it incumbent upon me to report. I really should have taken some pics. My next report will include pics.

My trip began rather uneventfully with the long plane ride from Phoenix to Rio via Dallas and Miami. As with most folks, I make an attempt at sleep but never really get much on the way down. For whatever reason, when I get to Rio I always feel good and not particularly tired to the point I can stay awake late into the first night in Rio. I chew these NO-Jet-Lag tablets on the trip (not sure if they did anything or not.)

I used Don’s services on my first trip sans Don (he was away in California the week of my first trip) so this was my first meeting with Don. I will add my recommendation to Don and now Ken’s services to the many that have done so on this board. They really go out of their way to make sure you have a great time. I rented a great apartment through Don that was one block from the beach in Copacabana and very centrally located to shops, ATMs and restaurants.

Well now on to the good stuff. My first night there was Sunday so Don suggested that the first termas run should be to Luomos as Sunday is apparently a good night there. I found Shayla, a tall thin blond blue eyed garota, who I think now has a nose piercing (I did not spend much time looking at her nose!) Her fondness for her tongue meeting my ass made this a memorable first experience for my second time in Rio. I stayed for awhile but thought better of taking a second girl on my first night. Then I went to The Office, a sports bar/restaurant owned by an Aussie fellow, that had NFL Ticket. They also have two internet access terminals to check emails (the sign said 15 min. limit on use but honestly no one was keeping track of time.) I had the pleasure there of also meeting the infamous Jaguar and star of stage screen and television, the fabulous MBL.

Monday arrived and I wanted to try the big American breakfast at The Office. Could not finish it was really Big. Jaguar strolled in and had his usual bacon sandwich. In hanging out in Don’s office for a bit, the conversation turned to the subject of the now deceased Bob. As some here know, Bob was a gentleman from Phoenix (who I did not know personally) who ventured to Rio with his friends about two weeks before I did. As I understand it, it was his first trip out of the USA. Bob died in his sleep with a smile on his face in Rio after numerous garotas, Viagra and drinks had crossed his path. I want to offer sympathy to his friends and family upfront and apologize in advance to anyone who is offended by my remarks concerning Bob’s untimely death. It is not my intent here to make fun of his death but more to memorialize Bob.

It became clear to me as the week progressed that I was about to learn a whole lot more about Bob.

Chapter II

Don had been working on the disposition of Bob’s remains and was in constant touch with Bob’s family members back in Phoenix. You can imagine the red tape and bureaucracy when an American citizen dies in a foreign land. As it turned out, Bob had a will and in it he stated his wish to be cremated. So Don set his sights on getting this done and then returning his ashes to his family in Phoenix. This is where I entered the picture. Trip reports here recall wild dalliances with nymphomaniacs, perhaps human waste ejected on a person’s body (with apologies to TheRightWay lol) but transportation of human remains....

It became obvious during the week that if the cremation could be done this week that I would volunteer to carry Bob’s ashes and deliver them to his family but more on this later.

Monday evening was set aside for a visit to the 4x4 terma in Centro. A good crop of young beauties was available as usual. For those who do not know, 4x4 is a rather large terma compared to the others closer to Copacabana. So for me it was a nice change of pace and it opens at 2pm so you can start your hunting early if that is your thing. I chose Jennifer and then Beatrice, who I believe is a friend of Ken’s. She came highly recommended. Both were good and I went home a happy man.

The weather was not that great when I was there (cloudy every day only an hour or two of sun per day and intermittent rain) and the beach seemed pretty dead most days. So on Tuesday, decided to sample someone from one of the escort services, Karla Models which is mentioned often on this board. In general, I am not big on the escorts since you cannot get a vibe on what kind of performer she will be. I chose Angelica on Don’s recommendation. She is a skinny blonde (the first one pictured on Karla Models website. ) I believe that I paid 150 reals total for two hours. She was very prompt and arrived a little early. As soon as she came to my apartment, I noticed her deep raspy cough and I knew if that tongue went down my throat I would have that cough too. I did not have the heart to send her away and I did develop a cold later in the week. She had the Karla models picture book and insisted on going through it with me and kept asking which girl did I like the best. Not sure if that is part of their marketing plan or what but it seemed a little strange.

Anyway during our session as I was pounding her doggie, she reaches into her purse on the bed and starts using her vibrator on her clit. She became extremely loud at this point and I thought that the neighbors would complain since it was mid-afternoon. All in all, a good experience and I would recommend Angelica (if she is not coughing lol.) Had a few beers with Don at Alcazar that evening and had the misfortune of booking my trip during one of the few holidays (Wednesday was All Saint’s Day or something) when ALL the termas are closed. So Don called Diana, an independent garota who used to work at Luomos, for me for some night time fun. If I liked her, then I could set her up for Wednesday too. She stayed most of the night and was good fun except for her constant desire to stick her finger way into my ass. Not really what I had in mind so I discouraged her from doing that. One of the few brasiladas I have done who has had breast implants.

As mentioned above, Wednesday was a holiday in Brazil. I believe the tradition in Brazil is for families to get together, visit cemeteries to mourn their deceased family members. Speaking of the deceased, I was staying in the apartment where Bob met his demise. Don, Ken and I all having a morbid sense of humor, and it being Halloween week and all, began to ponder whether Bob’s spirit was still in the apartment. The TV in the apartment blew out one day...maybe Bob does not want me to watch TV but use that time to do more garotas! But we had a surprise in store for Bob...more on that later. So Diana comes over again for some fun, and Don told me not to hog her so other guys, if they desired, could have her it being the holiday and all. I sent her to Alcazar in the pouring rain.

Thursday arrived and Don was hard at work with American consulate and a Brazilian judge to get Bob’s affairs in place for travel back to United States. One of Don’s drivers was with the judge till 2AM (do judges work at 2am in the USA??) to get him to sign the order to have Bob’s remains cremated. In a predominantly Catholic country like Brazil, I imagine cremation is not a common practice.

As many here know, the first Thursday of every month, is buffet night at Luomos. The girls can wear clothes rather than just lingerie that night only. More guys arrived from USA this day so off we go to Luomos. Almost immediately I am attacked by Shayla. Its hard to say no to the cabine request when she has her hand on my equipment and her tongue is down my throat. She must have gotten quite horny on her day off because the sheets were sopping wet with her juices after we finished.

On Friday I decided to take a walk down to Monte Carlo, a terma about a block off the beach. I have not heard much buzz about the place so I was not expecting too much. I got there about 7 pm and the pickings were slim. Finally, I did see a couple I liked and one of those was named Patricia. I had a really good session with her and I invited her (in my limited Portuguese) back to my apartment after work. She said okay and that she was off at 2am. Then she said on Saturday she got off at 11:30 pm so I said well maybe Saturday would be better. She agreed. So I left for the Alcazar and muitas cervejas.
Saturday arrived and the conversation turned to Bob, the gentleman who never made it back to the States. Don said the cremation would be done that day and that the funeral director would bring the ashes tomorrow the day I was scheduled to leave. So it was agreed that I would put Bob in my carry on (which is all I had for luggage) and return his remains to his daughter who also lives in Phoenix. His daughter was anxious to get some closure and the return of Bob’s ashes would do that plus it would save a lot of money in shipping costs. Don had a bunch of official looking paperwork signed by the Brazilian judge with the official seal ordering the cremation.

Around 4:30 pm Roberto, Don’s excellent driver, took me to Solarium. I got to the boite and I think there was one other guy in the place. Yikes... 25 women dancing seductively all with their eyes on me. I was like a piece of meat in a cage full of starving tigresses ready to rip and tear!. Ahhh I love Brazil! I immediately focused my attention on two girls who looked remarkably alike ( I found out later they were sisters.) Laura and her sister (I forget her name) were dancing seductively together. The manager (the guy with the ponytail) would come and insist that the girls do not sit but dance for the two patrons that were in the place at this time. I started talking to Laura as we got to know each other better on the sofa. After another amazing session, I returned to the boite and drank a couple of choppes (draft beer.) I flirted with a few there but knew I had a session with Patricia from Solarium later that evening. Ahhh to hear her scream out in English again, “Fuck my pussy “ makes me homesick for the ole USA....not. Needless to say the session with Patricia back at the apartment was excellent.

Chapter 3

The day to leave Rio had finally arrived. It seems that most flights depart Rio in the evening and the tradition it seems is to make a stop at Luomos (if departing on a weekend) and then on to the aeroporto.
But today was to be a day like no other. The day started with the funeral director bringing a pretty wooden box with a handle to Don’s office. This box was Bob’s final resting place. I examined the box and its contents which was surprisingly heavy and said it should fit in my carry on...but barely. Don asked the funeral director if he had a smaller box. He said he would check. He came back in his car marked “Funeral” (incidentally he mentioned that he never locks his car and no one ever messes with it in Brazil because of the prominent funeral marking) and said this is the smallest box he had. I said that we will make it fit in the carry on.

Now it was time for Bob’s sendoff. Don decided an appropriate way to honor Bob would be to take his remains INTO Luomos put him on the bar and drink a toast, before I would carry him on the plane back to the States. Of course, I would do a session to honor Bob as well. We arrived at Luomos being careful to kind of hide Bob as we checked in. As many of you know, Don is a well known figure there (even has his own personalized robe) and it is was unlikely that anyone would challenge Don. Roberto, Don’s driver, came inside with us and it was his first time inside a terma. His eyes just about popped out of his head as we entered the boite. We found a nice resting spot for Bob at the end of the bar and proceeded to order drinks. Immediately, the garotas became curious about the box. We knew that we could not tell them because some of them might freak out. However, one of the garotas that knew Bob (but apparently had not sessioned with her yet) came over and Don told her to promise not to tell if he told her. So I believe that she was the only one that knew at least while we were there.

I bet everyone has stories of wild goings on in a terma, but can anyone say that they had human remains on the bar? We drank a toast to Bob and thought what a way to go. As opposed to being hooked up in some hospital to some breathing machine, or partying your ass off and going in your sleep in Brazil, I think I would take the latter. I think a few tears might have been shed in honor of Bob. After our toast, I chose Ruby (pronounced ooobie in portuguese!) to be my dance partner in the room. She is a short girl with spikey hair that had only been there a couple of weeks. She did not smile much and I found out why in the room. Her teeth were a little crooked, maybe she will make enough now for braces. A great final session nonetheless. I found out later that the infamous Bia, the favorita of many on this board, was also there but she was up in the room while I was eyeing Ruby. Oh well, a goal for my next Rio trip.

Alas it was time to go and I packed Bob in my carryon. Don had apparently renewed his acquaintance with Johnny Walker Black so he went back to the Alcazar. Rightly so, as Don had been under a lot of stress trying to get Bob to his family. Roberto and I drove to the airport. Ahhh but this story is not over yet....

Chapter 4

The plan was for Roberto to stay with me at the airport to make sure I got through customs. I should have confirmed with Roberto that he was staying...turned out to be a big mistake on my part. Bob was tucked neatly in my carryon . I got my passport stamped and got to the x-ray machine. My carryon went through and here is where the trouble starts for me. The security guy says, “Open por favor “ as he points to be carryon. I open the carryon and he sees Bob and says very sternly, “Open.” I comply and when he sees the ashes he says, “You will come with me please.” I go back to the policia office. There are several gentleman there and one says in broken English, “You are not allowed to remove remains from Brazil without proper paperwork.” I tell him that I have paperwork and show it to him. He glances at it and says come with me. So we go back out into the general airport area by the information booth. He says to wait there and leaves. At this point, it is about an hour before my flight leaves.

About 20 minutes go by and another policia official shows up. At this point, he starts to fumble through the paperwork. Most of it was in Portuguese so I could not follow it all and then there was Bob’s will which of course was in English. Several minutes pass and I ask innocently, “Problema?” and my new policia amigo says, “Sim um problema grande!” “Por que?” I say. I point to the judge’s seal and signature and say it is approved for travel by the judge. At this point, his limited English and my limited portuguese conspire to get us nowhere despite the efforts of the information booth woman who was trying to translate for us. The policia official went from saying , “Why is the will in English?” Huhhhh... maybe because Bob was an americano!!! to “Where is the doctor’s signature authorizing the cremation?” Well I said the judge probably has it and by the way, it appears the cremation is done....duhhh. Why the judge’s authorization meant nothing to him is beyond me.....ahhh but this is Brazil I reminded myself. I think I said something about the guy is dead and he is cremated nothing we say or do here is going to bring him back. Bob is not worth a real to anyone in Brazil can’t we just let his ashes go back to America? He just pointed to the additional paperwork that HE needed.

At this point, I said I need to get on the plane I will give you the box and someone will recover it later. Don had told me this was the worst that could happen. My policia amigo was not buying that at all. So I was trapped now since Roberto was gone. I missed my flight so now I asked info desk if I could use their phone. So now I am not a happy camper. They saw Don’s number and said, “ Oh a cell phone number I am sorry our phones do not call cell phones." Then I asked if a pay phone would work and they said that pay phones cannot call cell phones. Huh?? So now I go to the airport hotel and see if they could call. They were decidedly unhelpful as people were checking in. I have a cell phone but not for Brazil and Don of course took back his as I was leaving.

So now I debate what to do? Do I get a cab and go back to Copa and hope I can track down Don? Do I get a room at the hotel in the airport or back in Rio? As I was pondering this in the airport, a lovely little girl with glasses named Priscilla working at the souvenir booth was smiling at me. I walk over and after I explain my situation, I ask if she has a phone I can use. She says, “ Yes let me see the number.” She dials Don’s number and no answer. Hmmm this is not good. Then I remembered Don said his cell phones do not work well in buildings. I did not have anyone else’s number but wait Don wrote his number on the Alcazar business card. I said, “Wow this a long shot but maybe I can call there and Don will be there or if not the security guy, Rodrigo, I had met.” So Priscilla calls the Alcazar and asks for Rodrigo. Rodrigo is not working tonight is the answer. I say, “Oh shit what was the name of the other security guy?” It comes to me out of the blue, “Marcos.” So Marcos comes to the phone and Priscilla asks for Don. Don is not there so I ask Marcos if he can call Roberto and tell him to pick me up at the airport. Marcos calls him on his cell and tells Priscilla he is on the way.

Priscilla watches my carryon (what a sweetheart she is) while I go to American Airlines ticket counter to rebook. Well now I am $150 lighter as I got charged for changing my flight to the next day. Luckily, I remembered to ask them to recover my Brazil exit paperwork from the officials so I would have it when I went through again the following day. I did not want to deal with any Brazilian policia tomorrow. I just want to be a regular turista tomorrow.

Roberto and I meet up with Don at The Office. He finds another apartment for me for the night and I return Bob back to him. I guess it could have been worse. Spending another day in paradise is not so bad. I could have been arrested for transporting a body without proper paperwork and be sitting in a Brazilian jail. I thought about putting 100 reals on the table when I was arguing with the policia official but I thought about that nice Brazilian jail again.

It was now Monday and some of the guys were going to 4 X 4 which I could have done and still make my flight but I thought better of it. I did not want to miss this flight and left nothing to chance.


Epiloque--My advice to everyone here is do not try to transport human remains into or out of Brazil!

Dave7427

Thanks for all your help regarding Bob. He was a great guy with alot of friends here in Phoenix.

Dave7427,

God bless you for all your help with this delicate matter. Not many others would have stepped up to the plate like you did.

Thank you again,

Jag

Great report. Not too many guys would have gone through that kind of hassle for someone else. Hope to run into you some day. AZ

Dave 7427,

Thank you for trying to bring Bob back to us. I think Don is still trying to get Bob back to PHX.

I personally appreciate what you did to help my friend get back home to the US. I was one of the guys that was with Bob when we were all in Rio.

Let me know if there is any way to compensate you for your assistance. At the least I want to get you a drink. Perhaps in Rio.

We are putting together a group from AZ to head back to Rio next year. Perhaps you can join the bunch.

Feel free to contact me rocketmaninphx@gmail.com.

Thank you for your help in this situation,

RocketMan

One other thing.

For those that question using Don's services.

This reflects on Don's commitment to his customers.

I cannot imagine ever going to Rio without using Don's services.

Thanks both Don and Dave

RocketMan

Rocketmaninphx,

I would like to second your sentiments on Don and the trials and tribulations he went through to assist Bob's family in such an unfortunate time.

Felix and I watched him spend an entire week handling this matter. It required multiple trips to the US Consulate, several trips to the morgue and endless time spent on the phone with various officials in Brazil. How he was able to navigate this torturous maze successfully, I will never know, but somehow he did. I don't know of many individuals who would attempt this challenge and it illustrates to all of us exactly what kind of person he is.

Many thanks to you Don and you Dave.

Jag

Nice job here buddy.

Damn, where is Kid Cisco when you need to "shove one up his ass"?

Right now, Bob is still here with us. His remains are scheduled to fly out the 28th of Novemer. Fortunately, Bob had written in his will that he wanted to be cremated. Without that, it would have been a hell of a lot more difficult and more expensive, so Don's been lucky in that regard. Hopefully all of this will come to a conclusion this week.

Right now, Bob is still here with us. His remains are scheduled to fly out the 28th of Novemer. Fortunately, Bob had written in his will that he wanted to be cremated. Without that, it would have been a hell of a lot more difficult and more expensive, so Don's been lucky in that regard. Hopefully all of this will come to a conclusion this week. And thank you so much Dave for helping us with this. Anything we can do for you in the future, let us know.

Hey thanks for all the kind thoughts. I just wish that I had been successful in getting Bob back to his family.

Rocketman,

Yes definitely include me in the AZ group you guys are putting together for a Rio trip next year. I am hooked on Brazil.

Dave

That was one very strange report. In a nice way if you know what I mean. You and Don, along with all of the others that worked on this case, are super guys.

Also, Dave, your 2nd girl at 4x4 was named Pietra. Very cute girl, and she has a great attitude. Fortunately, she was also the lifelong best friend of the girl who told you, without ever having spoken to you before, that she wanted to marry you and go back to the states with you, so besides being a good general recommendation for her own merits, we got to completely shaft the other girl to teach her a lesson. Terma politics. ;)

did BOB have a name on this board? I exchanged a few emails with JackLeLynn or something like that from Pheonix and have not heard from him since he announced plans to visit South America.

I don't know about anyone else, but I hope when I die it will also be in Rio, from too much sex and too little rest.

Bob was not on the CH board but he was a member of TER and ASPD.

He was and will forever be known as the AZCatMan and the UsedCarDoc.

For those in PHX he was also know in all of the PHX Groups.

RocketManinPHX

A Holiday wish..

Be thankful for waking up each morning and having the opportunity to live as best you can.

Dave - welcome to the group - Justdonebyu...

12 garotas in 3-4 days - the garotas literally fucked Bob to death. If you have to go, that's the way to go.

As rocketman mentioned Bob was well known locally here in AZ. I had a chance to party with him multiple times and he was a class act...A concur with Catocony and SF Hombre...he died with his "boots" on...best way for a monger to go....