Last week I received an urgent request to head down to Cape Town and visit one of the companies I consult with. It was short notice but what the hell, Cape Town has got to be one of the most beautiful cities in the world and work was not going to take up all my time so I planned my trip over a weekend with appointments on Friday, Saturday and Monday and with Sunday to enjoy the wine route. Some of the top wines in the world come from the Western Cape and there are an ever increasing number of wine route some of the best are in Paal, Stelenbosch and Francehoek Liquor is pretty cheap in SA when compared to the States a bottle of Wild Turkey from a bottle store will set you back about R100.00 or US$15.00 and a bottle of descent wine can set you pack as little as US$4.00 a good steak shouldn’t set you back more the US$11.00 and a 1kg Prawn platter at my favourite Portuguese restaurant is less then US$10.00.
The world famous Table Mountain
Day One
The flight from Johannesburg to CT is less then two hours (R1100.00 orUS$165.00 return) except on SAA. which was as usual delayed, I arrived an hour late. I won’t bore you with the business part of the trip but when one of my clients discovered he had missed my birthday a few days ago, he decided that a celebration was in order and we headed off to Girls of Blouberg, what a waist of time there wasn’t a girl in the place when we arrived and the madam asked us to wait for an hour wile she called some girls, bugger that, we all trooped of to Penthouse Dolls in the CBD one of my best spots. As we arrived the guard beamed hello and welcomed me back its been over two moths since my last trip to Cape Town and my warm welcome came as a bit of a surprise to some in the group.
A new development going up near Canal Walk in CT
Once again the girls were camera shy, but if you are ever in Cape Town this is the place to start, hell I could live there. There were about 20 ladies there from 5/10 to 9/10 and from every part of the country Cape Malays, Afrikaans popies and Zulu girls from Natal, whatever your taste you can find it here I chose Mish a tall slim green eyed beauty with mousy brown hair and an athletic body. At first she was OK with having her picture taken but when we got to the room she changed her mind, it was OK I’m not that into pictures myself and she made up for it in enthusiasm and skill. Shaken and stirred I headed back down to the bar and the well deserved applause of my less then sober associates, ordered a Jack Daniels on the rocks and settled in. The Jack was R20.00 (US$3.00) the girl for an hour was R500.00 ($75.00) and it was an hour well spent but the night was still young. After about an hour, a few more Jacks and a deep discussion about the fact that almost no South African bar stocks a real Bourbon, my poison of choice Sash a long haired blond petit with an amble chest stuck her tongue down my throat and whispered in my hear that she was a birthday gift although not my usual choice, when a blond has you by the balls your heart and mind will follow and follow her they did, up stairs to another of PD’d well appointed rooms. This one had a bath in the corner as apposed to the usual shower. So after a BJ and some general couch rugby we got in where she proceeded to give me a rub down of note. Although not the youngest or best looking she most definitely had a trick or two up her sleeve that made for a very content hour, happy Birthday to me. Irony, she saw the camera and demanded I took her picture, go figure, so here some of them are fellow mongers. After we closed the place down at about 4am I headed back to the hotel.
I used an RCI time share swap, in all the Trip reports I’ve read no one seems to use RCI, Hotels in Cape Town are not cheap starting at about US$60.00 for a dump and $100.00 for anything descent so if you have RCI it works out pretty worth wile and the flats are usually OK, I stayed at the Blouberg Cabanas, a nice clean two bedroom unit with a kitchen, dining room come sitting room and balcony. It also had a great view of the beach
Day Two
My first appointment was at 8.30 so I was not a happy camper; the highlight of the day was viewing my new purchase now that’s what I call a filly.
My last meeting finished at about 6.30pm and an old friend invited me out for dinner. Dinner finished at about 11pm and I headed back to the hotel to crash after an hours sleep I woke and couldn’t get back to sleep. It was Saturday night after all (or more accurately Sunday morning). I thought I would make a quick stop at Body Heat on Bree St. but when I arrived the selection was not great 4 or 5 girls nothing great so I had a drink and left.
I wondered into Penthouse at about 1.30am most of the girls from Friday were there and I felt right at home after playing a really bad game of pool I settled on a Little Cape Malay Girl who had a chest that would have done Pamela Anderson proud. The last time I had had a Malay girl was over a decade ago but I can highly recommend the experience. We bounced around for an hour and she gave a TF and BJ to be remembered and I headed down stairs a very satisfied monger.
And then I ran into Mish from Friday night, I love it when a girl treats you like a long lost friend, she rapped her arms around me gave me a warm wet welcome kiss, I guess she thought I had just arrived and we headed into the bar for a drink were we sat chatting for about half an hour all the time I was praying for my second wind. Then it arrived we headed back upstairs. In the room she was even better then Friday but still wouldn’t let me take any pictures. I then tried to book her out for the whole of Sunday, some company on the wine route would have been nice but Sunday was her family day and she spent it with her daughter. There was a soft rap on the door we had been upstairs for over an hour and a half, it was after 5am and they wanted to close. Couldn’t blame them. Had a quick shower and headed out just in time to watch the sun come up.
Day Three
The barstards, my so-called friends arrived at the ungodly hour of 10.30 to pick me up for the wine route Allthough I slept in the back of the car most of the way I have to say that I have travelled Napa Valley, been to Bordeaux and pub crawled in Corfu and for a full on piss up no were comes close to the Cape wine lands in shear beauty.
We got four wine farms in before stopping for a late lunch at Boschendal. Boschendal is well known for its wine but famous for its buffet, if you ever get the chance you have to give it a try unfortunately this trip we arrived to late for the buffet, its very civilized you have to be seated by 12.30 or they will not let you in, but their restaurant is also worth wile and under the two hundred year old oaks we had lunch. We managed to get in another two farms on the way back. A little heads up, Sunday is the worse day to do the wine route as lots of farms and tasting rooms are closed. I was dropped of at about 6.30pm and took a nap. Woke up at about 8.30pm.
If most wine farms are closed on Sunday, clubs and brothels are even worse I quickly discovered that all the places I knew or advertised in the Argus Newspaper were closed. Flicking through my cell phones contacts I found the number of a girl I had met on a previous trip to Cape Town, what the hell I gave her a call and was greeted with a friendly “Hello Marc long time no hear where have you been ect”, Cell phones in SA have CLI (caller line identification) and few girls in SA will answer a call without checking out checking out who is calling. We agreed on R1000.00 (US$150.00) for a LT and to meet at her place around 9.30. I had a quick SSS and headed out. We went to Theo’s in three anchor bay for a late dinner and then back to her place were she agreed to one quick picture if I promised not to show her face, promise kept here is the picture
Photo: Past Contact
The weekend finally court up with me and after a very pleasant few hours and two sessions I headed back to my hotel at about 3am although she seemed a little disappointed and made it clear that she expected me to stay the whole night but the hotel had a 9am checkout, and I still had one more full day of meetings. So after a sad farewell I trundled of back to the hotel.
Day Four
After an overly hurried series of business meetings that blurred into one I was looking forward to heading home. I was overtired and I love flying about as much as the average six-year-old lovers a trip to the dentist and SAA makes the experience even less enjoyable although the pilots are top notch and the planes mostly new Boeings the in flight staff are among the worst. You get the feeling that they must have failed the post office customer care exam to get the job.
I arrived back in Johannesburg about 8pm and was picked up by a friend and fellow monger. “How was your trip?’ he asked “full o shit I am tired, sore, hung over, hot and bothered and I have a ton of proposals to go through by tomorrow”. Then he asked the magic question “How about a quick stop past the local to get some of those kinks out?”
Boy it’s good to be back home…