Chapter 1, DISASTER Getting There, Balling My Brains Out in AC

ClubHombre.com: -TripReports-: Trip Report Archive: -Multiple Country Reports-: 2006/01 Porker - July '05 -- AC, Batam, Jakarta: Chapter 1, DISASTER Getting There, Balling My Brains Out in AC

By Porker on Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 09:11 pm:  Edit

This trip began like many others with a bus ride. This time from Laredo, TX to Houston where I had a late PM flight from IAH-SEA-TPE-MNL. The bus ride wasn’t too godawfully long, and I was looking forward to hanging out with a buddy in Houston for a few hours before the flight.

He arrived rather promptly after I called him from a payphone and we headed off to some Bennibee’s type place for dinner, even though I knew I’d be getting fed yummy food several times over on the long flight. About 2 ½ hours before flight time we headed for the airport, and I got out of the car to get my luggage out of the trunk when I noticed that my backpack (with passport and all travel related documents/camera/cellphone inside) wasn’t there. Uhmmm, had somebody stolen my backpack? Or had DUMBFUCK PORKER left it someplace? :-(

Sprint and a leadfoot to the rescue, we called the restaurant, and confirmed the backpack wasn’t there. We called the bus station too, but they said it wasn’t there either. I had NO idea where I had left it, but if we had to look some place, I figured combing the area around the bus station was the best idea. So my buddy (he’s posted a few times on CH, ib6ub9) HAULED ASS back there just as they were closing down for the night (this wasn’t greyhound, just one of those Mex-Am transports).

The whole way back to the bus station my mind was racing about what I was going to do without it. I figured everything but my passport could easily be replaced, but obviously without a passport I wasn’t going anywhere. And it was Friday night on a 3 day July 4th weekend… And China Air didn’t fly out of Houston every day anyway. I could be STUCK THERE for close to a goddamned WEEK under even the best of circumstances. And that was assuming buddies in town would put me up for a few days. No doubt about it, I was FUUUUUUUUUUCKED!

But there was still time to pray that by some miracle I could find the damned thing. When we arrived at the now closing bus station, I asked about a lost backpack and was referred to an employee locking the back door at that moment. I RAN over to her and quickly blurted out about a backpack, and she asks ‘is it blue’? YES! “Let me go check…”. Apparently some old man ice cream vendor had found it when I left it NEXT TO A STINKING PAYPHONE and had turned it in. Nothing had been touched inside. A fucking MIRACLE.

Uhmm, I was a little happy at that point! :-)

And still in quite a bit of danger of missing my flight! My buddy again hauled ass back to the airport, and I made it to the check-in counter almost exactly an hour before the flight. Unlike LAX in the hours after 10 PM, though, IAH is completely DEAD, especially when everyone else is already checked in for a ¾ empty flight. I actually had plenty of time for a drink in the lounge (CI uses British Airways lounge in IAH) before boarding. Time to calm the hell down and STOP SWEATING!

BTW, this was the second year in a row something like this had happened to me before a long July trip. The summer before I had dropped the paper ticket out of the ticket jacket while standing in the wrong line at LAX and pulled my (and Epimetheus’) hair out for more than an hour before finding out that an airport employee had turned it in to the airline staff. I could REALLY do without such nightmares before getting on a plane. Talk about an adrenaline drain!

The flight to Seattle was dead empty, but filled up in SEA for the trip to Taipei. I still had the middle seat open, though, which gave me plenty of room to stretch out.

I shaved/showered at the transit lounge near the A gates like usual at TPE, and didn’t get much lounge time as there isn’t much of a layover before the MNL flight on China Air.

On the ground in Manila, the car arranged through Beeline travel was waiting when I arrived, and it didn’t take long on a Sunday morning to get to Gitano’s hotel in Ermita so we could share the ride to AC. We had met in TJ several years back, but it had been a loooong time since I’d seen him. This was Gitano’s first trip to AC, though he’d been to Thailand several times. It was good that we got to talk quite a bit on the ride up, as he ended up kidnapped by a 90-lb. bodyguard that very afternoon and hardly surfaced for several days after that. Gee, I’ve never seen THAT happen before in AC!

We arrived in AC just in time for a special event pool party at Kokomoz, and while I balked a little at paying the hefty fee, I figured I’d gorge myself on the free drinks and free food if the ‘bikini contest’ wasn’t otherwise worth it. Besides, half of the clubhombre Asia chat board was going to be there, so it was gonna be quite the event. And sure enough, Xenono, Hippie, MongerX, Merlin, Tujunga plus a couple people I knew from other boards were already inside when we arrived.

Others have already described the pool party (see particularly Xen’s trip report about being a judge), but what I remember most was that it was frickin’ HOT! I hadn’t worn swim trunks, so I didn’t go in the pool (live and learn), plus I wasn’t at ALL used to the PI humidity and I immediately started drinking two fisted style. I was one SWEATY motherfucker in no time!

And of course there were plenty of girls in bikinis around that wanted to rub up against my sweaty ass… Something that would have been GREAT if I didn’t feel like a pig on a spit.

While I was there, the show was kind of tame – not much better than what happens every week (in air conditioned comfort) at the S.O.B parties in AC. But having held off from flogging the dolphin for a week before arriving, I popped a tentpole about every ten seconds, and THAT had to be an attractive sight too! The heat and a raging boner were conspiring to keep me from boozing, stuffing my face and hanging out with the bros at the ho-down! After about the 4th plate of food (excellent brats, IMO), I figured I’d at least go shower and change so I could feel semi-human.

Of course on the way back to the hotel (Central Park), I just had to take a look at what was on offer on Santos St. The boner thing, you know… And it was on the way!
And one of the first girls I saw was one with maybe the greatest Santos St. rep of all time, Donna from Shadows bar. I’d had a handful of guys tell me she was GREAT, and a couple prominent board members telling me she might have been the best cocksucker they’d had in AC. And, of course, Santos St.’s CHEAP – p500 (peso was ~55-1 in July)! Donna remembered me as a guy who had always told her ‘next time’ before, but this was going to be her lucky day, as she was going to get a healthy serving of ghost cock! She was indeed damned happy to get picked, and soon enough I was taking a cold shower to get ready for the main event.

And Donna lived up to her billing. She slurped and gagged all over Mr. Happy, and actually sucked me off quite promptly, something not usually easy to do. Having a week’s worth of DTB surely helped in that department, though! After a spit and rinse break, there was no rush at all to get dressed, and after a few minutes recovery time, we were boning away. The second pop of the trip didn’t take awfully much longer than the first, though holding off to take a few action shots did extend things a little bit.

Throughout it all, Donna was a perfect bedmate and model. When I recommended her to an AC rookie who had lived in Cambodia for an extended period sometime in the next week, he asked me why I didn’t make her a girlfriend! He thought she was a keeper. She did say the (cherry?) third hole could be on the menu if I took her for the night, but I got distracted, and for whatever reason, I didn’t repeat with her. Part of it was that I don’t like girls with short hair. But the other guy had no such prejudice and was damned happy I had recommended her.

After that hygiene and BALL DRAINING call of nature interlude, I felt much better, more shadows were out to fight against the blazing mid-day sun, and I returned to the pool party just as everyone was leaving. Didn’t stop me from getting another plate of food and more liquid refreshment! Although it wasn’t all at the pool party, I had quite the damned orgy that afternoon!

After a much needed nap, most of the group went out barhopping that night. I don’t remember too awfully much of what happened, as I ended up barfining one of the first girls I saw from one of the first bars, a waitress or tequila girl or something at Misty’s. Which, of course, was a dumb decision. She had big floppy tits, which I liked so much that pretty much everything else became unimportant. And when the girl found out we were going to the room to fuck instead of going out barhopping, she immediately remembered her sick auntie in Manila that she simply had to go visit at 3 AM. Ahhhh, a RUNNER!

Now, in non-horny hindsight, the best thing to do at that point would have been to walk her ugly ass back to the bar and get my money back. But I was still wanting a crack at those big floppies, and in the mood to let my cock show her how pleased I was at her little scam. After a couple of pics in the room and the usual showers, I had her suck dick until the complaints got to be too annoying, then fucked her tits until I blew a load all over them.

And then we fucked. And THIS time, after three pops already that day, I was in no hurry to finish again. So I put her through her paces. Believe me, I do know it’s childish and borderline cruel to drill until the hole’s about to break, but I doubt anyone has any love lost for girls that decide that your long time barfine money only entitles you to short time. And all I really cared about at the time was getting my money’s worth. So I helped myself for a good 45 minutes or so until it dawned on my dumb ass that it was a little early in the trip to wear myself out. At which point I let her go see her poor auntie with no tip.

I can’t remember much now about the breakfast meetings this trip, other than Hippie and Merlin were NEVER present. In fact, that first day at the pool party was I think the only time I have EVER seen Merlin in the daytime! Maybe he’s a vampire?

The next afternoon, MongerX, Xenono and I ended up at a bar out on Perimeter Rd. called T Times. We ended up there because there had been some hot girls from there at the pool party, though I think the ones that drew oohs and aahs were cherry girls. It didn’t take me too long to find something I liked there, as there was a cute little midget girl with LOOOOOOOONG hair down to her butt onstage. And what a cute little butt she had behind all that hair too. Her English was pretty damned bad, but she was cute, affectionate, and I started perving on her petite body and how long and soft her hair was.

T Times girl told me while we were in the bar that she had to be home at some early hour, but I was perfectly happy with an extended short time myself, and for 1,000 pesos for a barfine at the perimeter bars, short time is more reasonably priced than on Fields. So I told her no problem, let’s go, and headed back in a trike for a blissful couple of rounds sandwiched around a nap where she curled up with me into a ball of pasty white girth and little brown girl that seemed genetically programmed for keeping a man warm at night.

I was pretty well satisfied after that, and didn’t figure on barfining anyone else for the night. But VERY late in the evening, I met up with Merlin and his traveling ARMY of bargirls at Champagne, and he was concerned that he’d overdone things and bitten off more than he could chew with the number of girls in his entourage. Man, I just HATE IT when that happens! In particular, a friend of his honey ko’s (the main girl in the harem) was pretty drunk, maybe to the point of getting sick, and he said he was worried about her and asked if I could take her off his hands.

I was a bit leery at first, and I asked what the deal was between them. Merlin assured me that she was just his girl’s friend, and that there was no problem if I was attracted to her and she ended up in my room. While the girl, Rina, did seem a little dizzy from the booze, she was pretty cute, and I told Merlin, OK, sure, at the very least I’ll make sure she gets in a trike later on if we all split up.

Of course it ended up being Merlin doing a favor for ME, as when we went next to Brown Sugar, Rina seemed to catch a second wind (another drink probably helped!), and I started thinking that this girl might be FUN! Oh lord, I had NO IDEA!!!

After clearing up a little confusion that she was now ‘with’ me, she started getting pretty affectionate, and it wasn’t too long before we were headed back to my room. Being quite tired myself at close to 5 AM, I figured I’d let her sleep it off and sort things out in the morning. After a shower, however, Rina had other ideas.

Rina was horny.

Now I’m sure in general that Rina is a horny girl. But that night? Drunk to the GILLS? She was SUPER HORNY!

I actually tried to fight her off a bit and encourage her to sleep. But she was quite determined to USE ME! My resistance ended once and for all when she started blowing me, and after that I was just a cheap slut! I did whatever she told me to and she was quite fond of physically PULLING ME into different positions. The rougher things were, the better she liked it. Luckily I still had enough wood to oblige her.

While others have complained about the quality of the sex in Angeles City, my sessions there have usually been consistently excellent. I’ve had some pretty fantastic sex in AC, but that night RINA jumped to #1 on the AC mattress Olympics highlight list. Well, since the first trip with Airport Girl, anyway…

After a massage and a BJ late morning, we simply had to do it again, of course. And if she had matched the previous evening’s intensity, she probably would have KILLED ME! But the morning session was a lot less intense and lot more gentle. And to be honest, I got kind of bored. While Rina had rocked my WORLD the night before, it was not going to be a difficult decision not to hook up with her again that night. This was made easier due to her not having a cellphone.

Or so I thought, as since she demanded MY number, I had my phone blown up with texts from her using a friend’s phone. But they were very sweet texts and not at all whiny. Like always when a girl in AC really treats me well, I felt a little guilty about not keeping her around longer or repeating with her, but in reality, once sex is finished, few girls in Asia in any location have been able to keep my interest for too long. And by the time the urge hit to fuck again, someone else was usually in front of me and not her. As MongerX has described it many times: Asia is a MAN’S paradise!

By Porker on Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 09:17 pm:  Edit

Photos: Donna - Shadows 01 02 03 04 05

By Porker on Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 09:24 pm:  Edit

Barhopping at Misty's (I think)

Photos: Mistys Barhopping 06 07 08 09

By Porker on Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 09:28 pm:  Edit

My Mistys runner

Photos: Mistys Runner 10 11

By Porker on Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 09:34 pm:  Edit

Photos: T Times 12 13 14 15

By Porker on Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 09:38 pm:  Edit

Photos: Rina 16 17 18 19 20

By Merlin on Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 09:49 pm:  Edit

Great memories Porkers, Thanks. It's aways neat to see events from another's perspective. Rina has always been a great barhop friend but she's also a big time boozer who needs alot of handholding when she's drunk. She even threw up on me one time while I was fireman-carrying her up the stairs. You did me a big favor that night and am glad you got a good session out of it.

One thing I'd recommend is to get a fannypack for your passport/tickets and/or a passport holder that goes around your neck. It's happened to me once and it never happened again after I got my fannypack with all the important documents. Everything else can be replaced in a snap.

By Tujunga on Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 10:09 pm:  Edit

"While others have complained about the quality of the sex in Angeles City, my sessions there have usually been consistently excellent. I’ve had some pretty fantastic sex in AC....."

I second that emotion. That month, the Kokomo's pool party was a splendid kickoff to a fine adventure. I cut short a sojourn to Bangkok & Pattaya after the 4th of July because, astonishingly enough, I was actually missing the AC action.... and it only got better the second time around.

Thanksgiving served up an even more satisfying groove, and I'd be tempted to return by now but for overfamiliarity. So it's back to Bangkok & Pattaya this week, giving AC a rest to allow for the changing of the guard.

By Mongerx on Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 11:32 pm:  Edit

Ah fond memories! This was a fantastic trip to AC last July. Your Misty's barhopping pics are actually from Ziggy's/Lollipop. That was after the pool party where Xen, Hippie, and I all got slobberknocking Blowjobs while I think you sat between us with some cherry girl on you lap. That two girls fat girls with big floppies in those pics both know how to suck some great dick. I kind of got off on all the cherry girls on stage gawking in disgust at the old Ziggy pros serving up the supreme hummer fess. Have a good look at your future cherry girls!

That was probably the last time I actually had a good time in Ziggy's, as now the LD pressure is so over the top I am usually driven out in about 10 minutes. I guess it was a sign things were going downhill, when during this bar hop Mo (the owner of this bar and Kokomos) was trying to take all our pictures getting blowjobs in the bar. I asked him to stop and he said that he would block our faces. What an asshole who has no respect for the privacy of his clientele. This just added insult to injury after they were such pricks about customers taking pics earlier at the pool party. As far as I am concerned Mo has the shittiest over price food and his bars are all have the highest drink prices, highest bar fines, bad LD pressure and are filled with crappy line-ups. I avoid his establishments like the plague except for the pool parties. I hope that he never decides to buy a bunch of Perimeter places and Mo-dify them.

I guess I am not the only one to catch the Rina crumbs as they fellf of Merlin's entourage plate. She is a fun partying horny chick, much better face than body. She was already a little soft when I took her and, much like myslef, she has gotten even softer. Also, I liked her better with heavy blonde highlight in her hair. But then again she is very aggressive, enthusiastic and good in the sack. I will forgive many short comings for that

By Segue99 on Sunday, January 15, 2006 - 11:46 pm:  Edit

Maybe this is blasphemous, but looking at the "New Reports" section and finding one of Porker's reports is like finding out a the new season of Sopranos, Entourage or The Shield is about to start. I soooo look forward to the next episode.

By Robert Johnson on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 01:29 am:  Edit

"Apparently some old man ice cream vendor had found it when I left it NEXT TO A STINKING PAYPHONE and had turned it in. Nothing had been touched inside. A fucking MIRACLE."

Hey, Porker, have you done something REALLY nice for this fellow, yet?

What does "DTB" mean? Please add it to the Dictionary in the toolbar to the left side of the screen.

Likewise, with regards to Mongerx' "LD."

Thanks for the trip report, quite entertaining!

By Merlin on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 11:44 am:  Edit

MX: I totally agree w/ Mo and his bars, I avoid them now as the cost and service quality have gone down noticeably South.

Porker: I missed the "vampire" comment the 1st read, but you're right. Since I usually go on such short trips, I'm still on Stateside time through the trip. In fact, as many times as I've been to AC, I don't recall having more than 1 breakfast as I usually sleep in past noon. I also have the habit of partying and barhopping until the sun comes up.

By Porker on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 02:55 pm:  Edit

Merlin, Rina was great, thanks again. Mx, I saw her last week, and that pudge in the middle you can see in the pics here has gotten a bit bigger, and unfortunately none of it has gone to her tits, and she's pretty self-conscious about it. But like you said, she makes up for a less than perfect figure with cuteness and "motion in that ocean"!

Re: Mo's bars, I've never had a problem with them, and if I avoided every place in AC that's raised their prices lately, I'd be sleeping in a trike, eating chicken feet and spanking my monkey every night. Re: perimeter bars, I've gotten waaaaay too many girls from there that wanted to go home at 10 PM, but if you guys are having good luck there, good for you.

Mx, I really did feel left out when you guys were getting BJ's like that, and that girl's tits in the pics look great to me. The girl on my lap was certainly a GLORIFIED cherry girl. All she wanted to talk abou was how she hated sex. OOPS! It was funny finding out later that apparently you, Hippie and Xen all had completed missions there at Ziggy's right there in the open. I was told if that happened at Club Rio (the more FAMOUS 'free sample BJ' place) that they'd gig you p700 for such an eruption.

Tujunga, I like Thailand too, but find the bang for the buck is better in AC. Others would say that's blasphemy. It's good that you can enjoy both. After this latest trip I'm beginning to understand what you mean about letting things in AC "cool off". If I went back today there would be two girls that I'd feel extremely guilty about not spending time with and probably end up letting them run my vacation. Not the best position to be in. Have fun in Thailand.

Seque99, thanks for the nice comment.

Rjohnson: If I had been in Houston any time soon, I'd certainly have loved to thank that guy properly. I think karma's going to be his only reward. DTB=Deadly Testosterone Buildup, something much more deadly than the chances you'll go blind or get hairy palms from relieving the pressure! LD is short for lady drink.

Merlin, I think we all know that your entourage zaps your energy! You certainly do know how to party, my friend, and as Mx says, the 'crumbs' that fall off your plate can be unbelievable!

By Tujunga on Monday, January 16, 2006 - 11:03 pm:  Edit

I'm more comfortable in Angeles, and there's no question it's a better bargain. But I can't let myself get too comfortable, because a) I'll get sucked in; b); I've still got a bad taste from the province+ experience; and c) variety is the spice of life.

After giving BKK/Pattaya another chance (and in my own tiny way contributing to tsunami relief), I'll be tempted by Jakarta, Colombia, and maybe a return to Rio before assaulting Angeles again. By then it should boast a whole new crew.

As for Mo's, don't get me started. Were it not for Xen tipping me off about his early checkout from Swiss Chalet to try Jakarta, I might have been stuck in a room at Kokomo's where I had to coax them into removing and replacing both the computer and aircon; and the shower, which sometimes didn't work at all, defied repair.


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