Preparing for the Trip

ZA is on the southern tip of Africa and generally has quite a temperate climate, so even in the middle of winter you can leave "Snow Clothes" at home. When packing, unless you have some formal function, suits and ties are really unnecessary-casual with a sports jacket is about as smart as you will ever need to be. Depending on the time of year, jeans and golf shirts or T shirts do the trick, but if you intend going to a smarter restaurant smart pants will be in order although very few places have a no-jeans policy. Shorts, sandals and a baseball cap are considered formal wear in CT and Durban and what's what you would wear to a braai. Remember to bring a good pair of sunglasses.

The local condoms are the same makes as you will find in the US. I must admit that I feel safer using ZA condoms then those I find overseas; we seem to have higher safety standards thanks to the SABS tests. If you intend going to a game farm or Northern ZA you might need to take malaria medication (South African Hospitals are still rated among the best in the world if you stay in a private hospital, and there is a thriving surgical and dental tourism business to ZA).
If you need a visa for ZA get it before you leave. ZA is not Thailand-you will be sent back home if you don't have a visa, but from what I have been told its pretty easy to get a visa. Check out the web site
http://www.southafrica.info/public_services/foreigners/travel_requirements/visas.htm

Most of the brands you get back home you will find in ZA, from Colgate to Wilkinson Sword and Nestle, so if you forget something at home you should be able to find it easily. Even some of the shops such as Woolworth's will be familiar.



When to visit

South Africa has a pretty temperate climate. We don't have hurricane seasons or typhoons. Johannesburg has summer rainfall and Cape Town has winter. Durban has tropical humidity without the heavy rainfall most of the time. Remember, ZA is in the Southern Hemisphere so our seasons are the reverse of the USA. If you are into sitting on a beach, then November through early March are good months for Cape Town, but in December ZA has its school holidays so Cape Town is a mess.

If you are into hunting or game watching (of the four legged animal kind), then February is way to hot and the bush (trees and shrubs, not the other kind) too thick. During our winter months, Jo'burg is dry, hunting is usually good, and Cape Town has a light rain, kind of like San Francisco.

Considering how temperate the climate is, any time of year is pretty good. Last time it snowed in Jo'burg was over 20 years ago, but you must remember to avoid school holidays (in 2006 approximately Mar. 31 - Apr. 10, June 23 - July 17, and Sept. 22 - Oct. 2, and lastly from Dec. 1 through year end 2006.



Arriving in South Africa

Most flights into South Africa arrive at Jo'burg International Airport, which is OK as airports go and is up to international standards. Flights from NY are about 13 hours, Rio 8 Hours, London 8 hours. JHB International Airport is also where you get your flight connections to CT and Durban.

Getting out of the airport is a little trickier-as with every other airport in the world, avoid the touts and head to the information desk in the centre of the arrivals hall to find the best way to get to your hotel. Obviously if a fellow monger heads out to ZA and I'm available, I will pick him up from the airport. Otherwise, you should be able to pick up a limo service to any hotel in Jo'burg for under US$30.00 and a bus for under $10.00.

If you need to change money at the airport use either Standard Bank or Nedbank; they usually have the best rates and lowest charges. There are also a few ATM's at the airport so you can use your Visa or MasterCard to get cash.

Hotels, Apartments, and Where to Stay

The major hotel chains are Southern Sun, Sun International and Holiday Inn. Cape town has the most expensive hotels in ZA with Durban offering the best discount accommodation.

To get an idea of hotel prices, visit
http://www.southernsun.com/Sunrise/
www.sleeping-out.co.za
www.RoomsForAfrica.com
www.southafricangateway.com

Be careful: most hotels in ZA quote on a per person not per room basis. I have never had any problems with overnight guests at any hotel.

Another option is to use Time Share Swaps. I haven't seen much information on this kind of accommodation on the site, but if you are a member of RCI it's really useful in Durban, Cape Town and for the Game Reserve. I use my Time Share a lot, and around the world it can work out to be cost effective. It also seems a lot cheaper to buy a time Share in ZA than in the States. The only down side is that it normally sold and used in one week increments, which is not always convenient.

http://rci.com

Johannesburg

Jhb is an urban sprawl a bit like LA with a number of city centres: Sandton, Eastgate and Randburg, to name a few. I would recommend Sandton as a base of operations simply because I live there, and as there is no central red light district Sandton offers a good solid jumping off point. Each CBD has its own cluster of hobby houses; in Sandton there are more then half a dozen that I can think of off the top of my head, and there are similar clusters around the other CBDs. I would recommend that you stay away from Town and Hillbrow areas, as crime is high. Jhb is also the largest man made forest in the world.

Cape Town

Cape Town is approx 1300 km from Jhb. The flight from Jhb is under two hours and costs about R1000.00. Most hotels will arrange a pick up from the airport, otherwise there is a taxi rank outside the arrivals lounge. Once again, avoid the touts and only use clearly marked taxis. If you are renting a car it is a lot cheaper to have it delivered to your hotel or to pick it up from town than to collect it from the airport, where they would charge you an airport tax.

Cape Town has become more expensive over the last few years, but as the city that was once voted the most beautiful in the world (Rio came second), it is worth a visit. If you are looking to be where the action is there are a few good cheap hotels in the CBD but if you want to be near the ocean, Sea Point (although it is a little run down) offers good value. You should budget at about $100-150 a night for a better hotel but there are some good hotels for about $60.00.

Durban

Durban prides itself on being the last outpost of the British Empire, and Queen Vic looks down from her statue in the centre of town. I don't travel there as much as I used to: its a 6 1/2 hour drive from Jhb through the Natal midlands. I used to enjoy the drive down via a scenic route called the midland meander, which is quite fun. Alternatively the flight down is about R700.00. In Durban you will want to stay on North Beach or on Marine Parade. That's where the action is. A good hotel shouldn't cost you more then $70.00 a night; a good deal is the Southern Sun North Beach.




Game Farms

If you want to see lions, leopards, wildebeests, rhinos and elephant, then there is a plethora of places to choose from in any price range. The Kruger National Park http://www.krugerpark.co.za/
is the grand daddy of them all, and if you want to drive around looking at animals this is the place. Packages from Jhb start at about $100.00 per night per person. To get a girl to go with you, you are looking at about R1000.00 a day with some good haggling. There are other places closer to Jhb if you just want to get a taste for the bush. If you want to go hunting, fly or big game fishing that's a whole discussion on its own.

Money Matters

The Rand is the official unit of currency. One Rand equals 100 cents. Bills come in 10, 50, 100 and 200 Rand denominations. You can see the currency (bills and coins) and get a brief history at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rand_(currency)

The exchange rate bounces around quite a bit. In 1985 it was pretty close to $1 US = R1 by the late 1990's it was $1US=R12. Today the Rand seems stable at about $1US=R6.50

Most shopping centres have Banks that will change money, and if you stick to the big three banks (Standard, ABSA and Nedbank) you should be all right. There are also Rennies, T Cook and Amex offices but they never seem to have the best rates. Nedbank is the local Amex agent. Be aware that not everywhere accepts Amex or/and Diners, and never change money on the street or at the hotel. Try not to use foreign currency while shopping even at flea markets as the rate you will get will not be good, and you will mark yourself as a tourist. Tourist is a Zulu word meaning a wallet with legs, a dick and no brains. I am sure it means the same in a lot of languages.

Almost all ATM's in ZA are linked and if you have a MasterCard or Visa you should be able to draw money. All shopping centres and most petrol (gas) stations have ATMs the only down side is that you can only draw R1000.00 in any 24 period unless you have made other arrangements. Remember to be safety aware then at an ATM. Until the mid 1990s ZA had the biggest infrastructure of ATM's in the world.

Some of my favourite clubs like Club 37 and Rock P except Credit cards but charge a fee, when you get your account the billing is usually to a Restaurant and always discreet.

Getting Around

Public transport in ZA is not reliable and taxis are not as widespread as in other cities; you have to call for a cab or pick one up at the a hotel or shopping centre. Most hotels have a full list of taxi services. Always negotiate the fare before agree to the trip. I have yet to see a metered taxi in ZA.

We have what are locally known as Black Taxis that run on the major bus routes for less then a $1.00-they are minibuses that can get a little overcrowded and are known to be less then safe. I would avoid them. You also need special hand signs to signal them, which most hotel staff will be able to show you. I must admit I have never been brave enough to use one.

I would recommend renting a car for at least some of the time. Roads are good and in general well sign posted. Car rentals run at about $20.00 per day including insurance.

Safety

ZA has a reputation for being unsafe but as my insurance broker would say you have more chance of being mugged in Australia and killed in Washington DC. That is not to say that ZA is safe but in general Rio rules apply, so don't go where you don't know. If you want to visit Soweto, Alexander or visit a shabbeen go on an organised tour, only carry on you what you need.

Carry copies of your passports and important documents, not the original, and always lock your valuables in the hotel safe. Every city has a different set of risks so keep alert.

The emergency number in ZA is 10111. Please note that if you need medical attention make sure that they take you to a private hospital

The Tourist Stuff

Tourism has grown by leaps and bounds since sanctions were lifted in the early 1990's, and ZA companies have rushed to fill the additional demand. Nelson Mandela, or Madiba as he is locally known, has become a travel industry on his own, so you can travel from the Victoria & Alfred waterfront (the old harbour) to visit his prison cell on Robin Island or visit the apartheid museum in J'burg or his tribal home-he is after all a Xhosa chief. You can even buy fake Mandela paintings at Sandton City.




Johannesburg

J'burg is the financial capital of ZA as well as where the gold comes from. If you want to go down a mine, see some native dancing and visit a very touristy reconstruction of that a ZA frontier town was like, go to Gold Reef City.

Cape Town

CT is the oldest city in ZA and is steeped in history, with old colonial buildings and some great beaches. Clifton (cold water), Sea Point and Muizenberg (warm water) are the best known, but I like to head out to the Boulders near Simons Town if I feel like sitting on a rock and baking myself like a giant lizard.

In CT the big tourist centre is the Old Harbour called the V & A Waterfront-it's a bit like fisherman's wharf San Francisco on steroids. I find it worth a visit but none of the restaurants is worth while, and they are all overpriced. If you like something on a smaller scale, visit Hout Bay-it has a nice small fisherman's wharf and some decent fish restaurants.

There is also the obligatory cable car ride up Table Mountain, the last time I did that I was about 10 years old. CT also produces some of the best wine in the world and has an excellent wine route. Klein Constantia still bottles a desert wine that was Napoleon's favourite and KWV's brandies are among the best.

There is really too much to do in CT to put down in a guide like this.

Durban

Is in Natal where the Zulus kingdom (ZA warrior nation-these guys put the samurai to shame when it comes to soldier codes and fighting spirit) and the British Empire came head to head and the Zulus undoubtedly gave Queen Vic a bloody nose. This is the land of a thousand hills, the kingdom of Charka, and the best pub-crawl on the sub continent. In Durban you get the feel of what would have happened if the British Empire had continued, a friend who has been to India told me once that to see the best of India go to Durban.

Durban is worth a visit but in December the town fills with tourists and the humidity can challenge BKK's.

There is also a large Indian community here, so Indian girls and great curries are the order of the day.

The Women

Photos: Blue Sky Sha 01 02 03 04
Photos: Rock Paradise Z 05 06 07 08
Photos: Blue Sky Sharm 09 10

Now that I have finished with the introduction lets start with the real travel guide.

Because I am a local I have got a little set in my ways and I suppose that there are some good places I am leaving out. I am also not a visitor to Hillbrow, which is well known to be the place to pick up cheap and easies. I had a bad experience there many years ago and have since considered it bad luck, there is a story here but not for this forum.

Here are two good web sites to get you acclimated:
http://www.escortsouthafrica.com
http://www.sextrader.co.za/index.php

Others that might be worth a try are
http://www.sexyintro.com/news.php
http://www.sunkissed.co.za
http://www.glamourgirls.co.za/
http://www.southafricanescorts.net/
http://hotsexholidays.com/

Some of my favourite spots are not on the web.

Johannesburg

Rock Paradise
One of my favourite stops, more of a pub feel, normally 20 plus girls, but it can become quite packed with fellow mongers. Good shows: lap dances, table dances, and everything else on offer. Behind the airport on Pompona Rd. Door R50.00, half hour R350, hour R500.00, Jacuzzi room incl. champagne (read cheap sparkling wine) R650.00. Accepts credit cards but charges a premium.



Blue Sky
A good stop for a quick massage and FH (full house, the local term for a fuck). Clean converted house, only one criticism that some rooms have only massage beds in them so you usually land up on the floor. Normally 7 girls some of which who do call outs. Well situated just of Colette Drive R300.00 for half an hour R450.00 full hour Tel+27 11 440 4949.




Little Holland
I don't usually flame a spot but the reports out of Little Holland get worse and worse, try to avoid.



Club 37
My first local, has been running for years. Quality fluctuates, normally about 10 girls all shapes and sizes. It's been raided once not for being a brothel, but for employing illegal aliens. Always some Thai girls here for the homesick, with a little buffet and the occasional show. Rooms are clean and large, quite nice except no bathroom on suite 37. William Nichol Dr. between Sandton and Hydepark. Door R100.00, includes two drinks, R500.00 for an hour.

Club201
A real old-world dive on Jan Smuts, open evenings only. Quality and price seem to change with the wind. 0117874230.

Tammy T's
A real gem of a place in the suburbs-a good stop for a quick massage and FH. Clean house, great bedrooms, and among the best girls around-normally about a ½ dozen in attendance but top draw. I know of mongers who check into the place as if it was a hotel. The only problem is that they do a lot of escort business so it's best to check who's there before you arrive. 40 Edward Rubenstien Drive. Tel 073 438 1566. No door, R500.00 an hour.

Justine's
Like Tammy T's, Justine is a good stop for a quick massage and FH. You can also relax at the bar and meet the girls with a lot less pressure then picking a girl from the line up, but they will insist that you pay before you go to the bar. That's no problem, I've never gone away empty handed. It's a clean house, good bedrooms and nice girls. I had to stop going there for a while for reasons I will not go into, but I have been back a few times. Worth a stop. No 1 Souvineer Road Eastgate 011 6169881. No Door, R500.00 an hour.

The Lodge
Across the road from Rock Paradise, but really down and dirty with a dingy bar and only Chinese girls. Door R50.00, girls used to be R300.00 (haven't been there for a while).

Penthouse
Used to be up the road from Rock Paradise, but I guess it couldn't keep with the competition so it moved to Burch St in Alberton. Used to be quite good, haven't been there since it moved.

Massage City
Another blast from my ill spent youth, haven't been there in ages, but it used to be clean and safe if a little run down. 12 theme rooms with girls to match, probably will head back there before I post this, for research purposes of course. Went past, 4 girls only mostly 6 or 7. They seem to cater for the S&M and fetish crowd, not really my scene. Corlette City, Louis Botha Drive. R360.00 half hour, R450.00 full hour. (011) 885 1117 (011) 885 1118

The Street

There is a policy by the local cops to keep girls from working the street. While clubs and houses are pretty much left alone streetwalkers are targeted, often in response to complaints. I have only picked up girls off the street on one or two occasions, once by mistake-I thought she was a hitchhiker. The prices are cheaper from about $20.00 up, but is it really worth the risk?

Hillbrow
Hillbrow use to be the SoHo in the 1970's. Since then the Nigerian mafia has moved in, and it has become a bit of a war zone. There is a whole subculture in the area that I am not really into anymore. But there are plenty of cheap, drugged out slags walking the street there if that is what you're into. The central club in "the Brow" as it used to be called is the Summit Club, last time I was there over a year ago it was still going. There are regular police sweeps in Hillbrow but they don't make a dent, and the cops are more into kickbacks than clean ups.
http://www.summitclub.co.za/

Oxford Road
The suburbs surrounding Oxford road are upmarket, and the girls hanging out there are a thorn in the side if the local RA. There used to be a problem with cops shaking down working girls and their clients, but since it made the local TV, the cops have left the girls alone except for the occasional sweep.

Cape Town

Before we talk about the clubs a quick note about the coloured girls. Coloured girls are a mix of Indian, Malay, white and black with some Asian thrown in. Coloureds have their own culture, and although they all speak English, they have a sing-song accent that you are either going to love or hate.

Penthouse Dolls
Without signage this spot is easy to miss. It is situated off the corner of Strand and Loop streets next to the Steers Take away (a local fast food place open late that makes a better burger then McD). This place is one of my favourites and is fast becoming my CT local, definitely worth the effort to find. With different day and night shifts, it's open from 10am to 5am, no cover and no shows, but a decent bar and pool room. Very friendly staff and a true GFE place although the girls I've tried seem reluctant to book out (but maybe that's just me). It has really funky (in a good way) rooms with showers. R500 an hour. Tel: 021 422 0708



Body Heat
On Bree Street around the corner from Penthouse, this used to be THE place. I haven't booked a session there in a while. Was run down but I believe has been a through a revamp. Had an experience there a few years ago when one of the girls became overly possessive, and it became a little uncomfortable.

There are a lot of clubs in the same area as the above two that I have yet to try.

The Castle
Rated the best club in CT by the locals. On 101 Castle Street , no sighs so keep an eye out for the number. Only East European and Thai girls some real beauties nice set up. No door R500 an hour. Tel 021-426-1564 Call before you go can be empty at times.

Karin's Classique
In Sea Point between Regent Road and Beach Road at 10 Solomons Road with descent signage it's hard to miss. A smallish venue with a Bar and OK rooms. Lots of east European ladies and a smattering of locals, Malays and Thai. R50 door which they seem to be quick to waver. R750.00 for an hour. Telephone 021-439-9101



Paradise Penthouse
In town at Longmarket Street near Green Market Square. If Jaguar ever came to South Africa I would take him here the best selection of upmarket black, coloured and Malay girls around nice bar and good rooms. No signage 157 Longmarket Street 6th Floor Telephone 0214220069 a nice point its open Sunday nights from 6pm. Website http://www.paradisepenthouse.co.za/ The girls on the sight are not the girls at the venue in a strange twist the girls at the venue where better isn't always the other way around?



Cape Ranch
5 years ago the Harper and Queen magazine rated this one of the best "men's clubs" in the world and its been relying on its reputation ever since R750 an hour paid at the door, includes drinks but if you don't like what you see no refunds. Telephone 021-987-3182

Cupit
72 Regent Rd Sea Point Telephone 021-434-4324. Took a look in on my last trip to Cape Town Looked like a real dive. http://cupids.co.za/



The Street
Same thoughts apply to CT as J'burg but the street is Main Road just before it comes into Sea Point.

Escort Agencies
Escort agencies open and close more often then their employees' legs. Ladies of Sandton is an exception and has been around for some time. There are always new places opening, check out the web sites above. When you get to ZA, check all the local newspapers in the classified section, they have pages of places advertising. Prices are negotiable and do vary from place to place, so shop around.



Dining in South Africa
There is every kind of food under the sun available in ZA except, for reasons that escape me, we don't get good Mexican or Cajun. We have all the usual fast food places like McDonalds, Wimpy, Pizza Hut and the rest.



To give you an idea of prices, a two course meal (main and sweet) should set you back no more then $10.00-$15.00 in a good restaurant. The most expensive restaurant meal you could order wouldn't cost more then $25.00 a head. Today for lunch I had a 500 gram T bone steak with Boerworse (a kind of beef sausage), French fries, salad and two cold drinks for lunch, my mate had the same except he had a rump steak and the bill came to ZAR110.00, or about $17.00 for both of us.

There are some places that cater to the tourist and like anywhere else in the world they are rip offs. There is also a kind of spicy Portuguese food that comes from Angola and Mozambique that I have not seen anywhere else in the world and should not be missed if you like spicy food; it is normally very reasonably priced.

We also have great sea food-a 1 kg (2.2 pound) plate of prawns from one of my favourite Portuguese restaurants would set you back about $10.00. ZA wine is among the best in the world and you can get something really worthwhile for about $10.00 a bottle in a restaurant. A bottle of Rupert and Rothschild's (the local vineyard run by the Baron L Rothschild family) will run you less than $10.00 from a bottle store. A 750 ml. bottle of Jack Daniels sells for about half of what it would cost you in the States; a local or imported beer at a club will set you back about $2.00-and remember, Millers is a ZA beer. ZA has some of the best eateries around, not to mention the best hamburger anywhere :-).

Johannesburg
Middle Eastern Schwarma Co. in Norwood is the place where a beef in laffa will set you back about $6.00 and a schwarma (giro) about $4.00 (it is also where I eat lunch most days).

Japanese Benkei (also near where I work-are we seeing a pattern here?) a salmon maki sushi $5.00.

The Black Steer Bulldog, The Mall Rosebank-great ribs 2.2 pounds/1 kg, $12.00, a burger $3.00.

Pub Bushvelt, Pub Craighall-great meat and local stews, main course $6.00.

French International Coachman's Inn, main course $13.00. A great place to take a lady.

Best steak: the grill house Furs Rosebank, a steakhouse of note. A nice piece of rump will set you back about $11.00.

The best burger in the world: Chuckleberrys Revonia Burger $5.00.

Curry Oriental Plaza Fordsburg, near the CBD-a touch of India in ZA. About $5.00-$10.00

Some hobby houses have very acceptable food. Look at the girls section-as if I had to tell you.

Cape Town
Boschendal Wine Farm: the buffet to end all buffets, my favourite buffet in the world, beats anything in Las Vegas (not in size but in quality). The buffet is about $30.00 and worth every cent.

Steak Nelsons Eye, my old student hang out behind the Mount Nelson, has great steaks $10.00.

The Oasis Restaurant in The Mount Nelson Hotel (which is where I trained, so I have a soft spot for this place) is the sister hotel to the Peninsula in Hong Kong. The buffet runs at about $30.00 but is a great ZA colonial experience in one of the top hotels in the world.

Pizzeria Napoletana, Main Road Sea Point-from my childhood an institution, wood oven pizza for about $5.00

Steak Theo's Beach front Mouille Point near the light house great ocean view good steak and fish I usually have a Zorba steak about $9.00

The Blowfish, Blouburg Strand my favourite fish place fresh fish sold by weight. Great views and about a five-minute drive from Girls of Blouburg.

Snoekies Hout Bay: great fish, discount prices. Worth the trip for the walk about.

Odds and Ends

Gambling in ZA is legal but well controlled, with a number of Las Vegas style casinos around all major cities. In J'burg I visit Monte Casino-there are some OK restaurants there. If you're into Casinos, then Gold Reef City and Emperors Palace (formally Caesars Palace-sound familiar?) are worth a visit. We also have horse racing and a local lotto.

The tap water in ZA is safe to drink; in fact, when tested against tap water from New York and Los Angeles it was found to be cleaner. It was even found to be better then bottled mineral waters.

There are 4 free TV channels in ZA and one satellite provider with about 50 channels. Most of your favourite American programs are on the air here, and after 11 pm on Fridays some channels have soft porn (or so I am told, I would never watch that stuff).

Cinemas in ZA are better, cleaner and cheaper (less then $3.00 a film) than their US counterparts-but you don't get buttered popcorn in ZA. ZA is on the Southern Hemisphere release date schedule so some films are released at the same time worldwide, others up to six months later.

ZA uses the GSM cellular phone network. A connection card costs as little as $0.20 to $1.00 and call time cost about $0.20 a minute on average. You don't pay for incoming calls. There are three providers, the biggest being Vodacom, and I would recommend sticking with them.

Banks open by 9:00, most close by 15:30 (3:30 pm). Shops open at 9 and most close after 17:00 (5 pm).

Tipping is 10% or R5.00 a bag for porters. You are only expected to tip in restaurants and sometimes taxis.

ZA uses 220 volt electricity and is on the metric system.

Batteries and razor blades are more expensive in ZA then in the USA but the brands are the same.

Marijuana is available from most petrol stations; it's illegal but mostly tolerated as long as you are discreet. It is sold in Bankies (those plastic bags banks use for coins). Rolling paper is available at most convenience stores.

If you are into SCUBA diving there are some great dive spots off the ZA coast.

Some local terms

Braai = B B Q
Robot = Traffic Light
Soda Water = Club Soda
Pavement = Side Walk
Shabeen = Township Bar
Boereworse = Local Sausage (a must try.)
Biltong = Beef Jerky but much better
Castle or Black Label = Popular local beer
Petrol = Gas
Café (Pronounces Caf-fee) = Convenience Store or corner store

Some local Mongering terms:
Rub and Tuck = a massage with a hand job
A happy ending = a hand and or tit job NO sex
Full house = if a girl offers full house it usually means everything except anal.
Swazi, African = Black
Malay = Multi-ethnic
Greek and\or Greek Style= Anal

Store Equivalents:
Macy's = Edgar's
Sacks 5th Av = Stuttafords
Costco = Macro
Walgreen = Clicks
Barnes & Noble = CNA

Where to find:
Computers computer repairs=Incredible Connection
Radios, TV's and electronics = Hi Fi Corporation
Discount Clothes= Meltze and UFO (in J'oburg)

Conclusion
I would like to thank hunterman for his help putting this report together, after all you can't give something like this to your secretary to proof read. If you can understand this thank him all spelling and grammar mistakes are mine.

There is so much to write about ZA and I really don't want to see this guide become a book but I will be glad to try and answer any questions that the noble minds of the HC mongers can come up with.

I look forward to your comments.

Thanks Isawal. That was a very informative report and I appreciate you taking the time to put that together for us. S. Africa was definitely a place I wanted to see...not for mongering, but because there is so much to see and do there...but, now when I do decide to go I will have some mongering spots that I can hit up. Thanks again.

Isawal, thanks for taking the time to put together a great, comprehensive report. I've always wanted to explore South Africa and this report will come in very handy when I do. I'm surprised that there are Thai girls in ZA. Wondering what types of prices one would pay for p4p.

Thanks Isawal. Good current reports on ZA are sorely needed here. I was in ZA in 2000, for the first time, and was introduced to Cape Ranch and just loved it then. It's what I always envisioned Nevada brothels should aspire to be, just a really classy place, and took a beautiful light-skinned coloured girl for an all nighter back at my hotel on the waterfront. However, on my next visit, a couple years ago, I was disappointed in learning that Cape Ranch was closed, so was surprised to see you list it here. I assume that in fact, it is now open? On that visit, I was sorely disappointed (and in need of your guidance then!) as I visited both Capetown and Durban, but found only a few private clubs where the quality of women within was only fair. I also visited the Summit Club (or at least I'm pretty sure it was the Summit Club, I recognize the parking lot in their website!) in JBurg during a single overnight stay, as I had in 2000, and was frankly not that impressed with the place on either visit. As I recall, most of the women were black with body styles that were a bit more rotund than my preferences dictate.

Incidentally, one of the best holidays I've ever had was on a game preserve called Mala Mala just outside Kruger park. Great facilities (you're in the compound, the animals get to roam free!) and terrific closeup and personal looks at the Big 5! Thanks again for providing information, and as I may be back again in the next year or so, I hope your information will still be current!

(Message edited by Sojourner on January 31, 2006)

Hi Sojourner

Thanks for the kind words.

Mala Mala is rated as one of the best game farms in the world, I've been there once or twice and the place is great. I like roughing it a bit so if I head out into the bush I usually go with a hunting party, although I don’t hunt but it’s a real fun way to see some of the wildlife.

The Cape Ranch is up and running and although my personal experience has not been the best, a lot of fellow mongers rate it among the best spots in Cape Town. If you are in Cape Town and like black and coloured ladies I recommend the Paradise Penthouse, white East Europeans the Castle, and both my “Local” and Karin’s Classique have a nice mix.

I don’t rate the Summit club and it’s really not in a safe part of town, if you just want a strip place with lap dancers Teazers is way better. But for a all round place I still like the Rock Paradise

I really believe that ZA offers a good mongering touring mix.

If you plan on visiting give me a shout, that goes for all CH mongers. Any excuse to go partying works for me.

Isawal -- Add my thanks to the list. You clearly went to a lot of trouble and produced a very entertaining and informative read.

Hi SF Hombre
Glad you enjoyed the guide, with your taste for South America you should really consider ZA.

Isawal:

You have done an excellent job at presenting and introducing the country of South Africa. The Government of South Africa should PAY you for this effort.

I have always wanted to visit Cape Town. I have seen CT in movies. The clear, bright sunshine coupled with beautiful women is a powerful combination.

I have been told that the white women in ZA have an "attitude" and shoud be avoided. Comments?

Please do post updates. There are many mongers like myself who follow ZA and have it on our wish list. Thanks!

Dear Isawal,

You work for Frommer's don't you? I can't believe the detail of your report, it's mind boggling.

Shit, I've been to Help over a hundred times and would have trouble giving you directions there--you take me all over the country without a hitch. Now that's talent!! All I can say is "Wow."

More, more, please.

Jag

After sanctions were lifted but before the first elections, I visited Cape Town for about a week. I never ate in a restaurant because every day someone invited me to a brai.

When I left RSA for England, I remember attending a private party at London's then-hottest club, standing in line to check my name on the list behind two leggy models who announced, "We're from Elite", and reminiscing that a casual Sunday afternoon at Bertie's Landing in Cape Town presented far more beautiful women. Best in the world.

Do the clubs reflect this natural abundance?

Hi Bkkguru

I guess like everwhere women have attitude. Although there is still some rasism out there we do call ourselfs the rainbow nation. I do no some white girls who don't go with black guys but if you do come out I promise to find you a nice blond poppy...promise.

Jag

Just a case of way to much time on my hands in December. Praise from the master is high praise indeed, thanks. BTW even if you are considering "retiring" I still think you should head out to ZA.

Hi Tujunga

Its funny but I guess South Africans are a friendly nation. Seriously,we love to entertain and show people around our country and have fun and I often see that hint of suspission and that search for a motive then I offer my assistance, its kind of funny.

As for your question about the clubs reflecting our natural abundance. I guess the short reply is YES with a bit of Thai, china and East Europe thrown in, aren't we lucky

Now I am off to enjoy the streets of Pattaya

Isawal,

Someday, I promise to visit South Africa. How long a flight is it from Rio? Shit, by going to Rio first, I'm at least half way there, or am I wrong?

Keep writing, it's a deight to go through your report, again and again.

Jag

Hi Jag
Greetings from Pattaya. To your question, there is no direct fright from Rio, you fly through San Paulo, its about 8 hours from there.

Dear Isawal,

Shit, every time I go to Rio I fly through Sao Paulo. I'll look into flights right away.

BTW, Africa's safer than South America, isn't it?

WTF are you doing in Pattaya? Let me guess.

Have a safe trip my friend,

Jag

Hi Jag

For most people South Africa is way safer then Rio, but in your case who knows?

WTF am I doing in Pattaya? TF what else? By the way there seems to be a CH convention in my hotel but I was not invited. Oh look a Thai lady in need of school fees or momma san needs a new buffello must do my part to help...

Isawal

A quick update
I recently got back from Cape and there has been a clean up of Main Street this doesn’t affect the club seen but there were no girls working the street. How long this will last is any ones guess.

I visited Penthouse dolls and they where in the process of moving to bigger and better premises on Whale Street the girls seem very excited. Penthouse dolls might not have the best selection in Cape Town but the girls have a great attitude. On the other hand The Castle has now started charging a door fee, not much about $10.00 but there was only two girls in the place and neither was in a working mood! Then I headed out after less than 5 minutes I asked for my door money back but the bouncer convinced me that pushing the matter would not be in my best interest. Body heat has also moved and the new place seems quite nice with a few semi descent shows, didn’t visit the rooms but they would have to be a step up on the old place.

In J’burg there seems to have been a Thai invasion, almost all the places with a few notable exceptions have a nice selection of new girls from LOS, but to compare prices an hour with a Thai lady all in and a poor excuse for a soapy will cost you about R400-R500 in Baht about BHT2400 to BHT3000. A little expensive but it does keep the Thai blues at bay for us locals.

The Revu
24 Hans Crescent
Bryanston
(011)463 1009
082 928 7764

Last week in the search for new and better mongering spots in Johannesburg for the numerous mongers who visited our shores (both of them) I decided to visit The Revu a club in Bryanston ( Near Santon) They market themselves as a five star venue and charge accordingly R450 (US$65.00) for a half hour and R650 (US$ 92.00) for an hour there is a bar but they charge R200 entrance but on the plus side all your drinks are free. There is a catch however the girls pester you to by them drinks which are not cheap so if they don’t get you one way they will get you another.

The venue is in a converted house on a residential street and is quite nicely set up, usually there are 15 girls , but the night I was there they didn’t have a great selection and I wouldn’t have stayed around except that there was one girl that I knew from the old days and we had a few drinks wile we court up.. The rooms are nice and clean but don’t have showers on suite which is a pain.

All in all if the girls lived up to the pricing the place might be worth a revisit but as things stand I would recommend giving the place a miss.