introduction:

For those of you out there who are seasoned vets , please bear with me. This is my first attempt at a long overdue report on the wonders of Rio de Janiero. I'm sure that I am covering ground that many have spoken of already ,but nevertheless I feel the need to contribute in some way to this amazing board and pay tribute to all the great guys that have paved the way before me.
Before coming to Rio I did my best to do some research on what was going on down there and to learn as much as i could about the country of Brasil itself. many a sleepless night was had combing over past reports and trying to envision what a terma was like or for that matter what places like Help disco would be like. No amount of reading however could prepare me for either one of those things. I will always credit two key things for giving me the general information I needed to get going. The first thing is reading and re-reading Bwana Dik's guide to "the life" down in Rio. this guide is so informative and proffesionately written it could be included in any major guide book. His guide was of invaluable assistance to me. As I said nothing could have prepared me for my first few steps inside of Luomo, but his guide was still a major help. To Bwana I would like to thank you for providing me with what has become a general blueprint for having fun in Rio. For those who don't know it and are thinking of coming to Rio , Read it, study it, know it!!
The second thing that was of major assistance to me in the begining was Don and the gang at Amerioca travel. As Don has become a personal friend over the years I can't say enough good things about the guy and all those who have worked with him ( Karl, Ken , Rhonda, the whole crew) . His Knowledge of Rio has helped me out in the physical sense more than a few times. Whatever it is I know about Rio has been to a large degree because of these 2 guys. Once again you have my thanks.

Part 1.) Touchdown!

After having been away from Rio for almost 9 months My plane finally touched down after what seemed like days in the air. I had already been anticipating this trip for months know so you can imagine my feeling of anxiousness. All I wanted was to get into a bathrobe and give some beautiful garota my key . That's not too much to ask for ,is it ? 9 months was an eternity for me as i'm usually here every 4 months or so. Unfortunately several flights landed around the same time as mine and going through customs was the slowest ever. The customs terminal was packed with tourist with only two attendants working at a snails pace to get everyone through.It was like being on a communist bread line. I couldn't help but think that this must be some weird kind of last minute torture before I am finally unleashed into garota heaven .I think it took a little more than an hour before I was finally through with all that. Busting through the gates I looked for my driver Roberto who was right on time as always. Unfortunately though my dilemma was not over yet. It seemed that we still had to wait for another guy who was supposed to be coming in on the same flight. Roberto explained all of this to me and at the time it seemed like a reasonable enough request as it was supposed to be this guys first trip to Rio and I fully understood how confusing it could be . Nevertheless 2 excruciating hours went be and this guy still hadn't materialized ! You can only imagine how impatient I was at this point Again, all I wanted was to get into a bathrobe and here we are waiting for this guy who I was sure either missed his plane or got into a taxi. Finally Roberto relented and off we went minus the hologram. We got into town and met up with Don who I hadn't seen in ages. I rent my apartments through Amerioca and the one that he hooked me up with this trip was great. Great doorman, air conditioning , a small view of the beach , cable T.V. , it was all good. My first priority even before hitting luomo would be to get some food in my stomach and to change money. This was done quickly enough and off I went in the direction of what i consider garota heaven . I spoke to Sweet mesquite prior to leaving and had arranged to meet him there. It's always good to have a buddy along on such adventures and I hadn't seen him in quite a while either. It's strange to say this but even though i'm not exactly a newbie having been away for so long I certainley felt like one. Maybey i'm a " wannabe newbie". For me Luomo has always had a special place in my heart as it is the first terma I visited. Luomo has this incredble chemistry of having all the right elements. It's not too big or too small. The girls there are beautiful and there are usually plenty to go around for everyone. Sometimes the music can be a bit too loud but I guess that's the price you have to pay. To me Luomo is like the "cheers" of termas. It's a place you can go to where everyone knows your name. Anyway after having finally gotten into a bathrobe I was ready to go through the doors and into the land of ass . Having been away for close to 9 months there were a couple of familiar faces but for the most part Many , many new stunners !! It was nice walking into this spot and trying to seeing this new line up of talent .Within about 10 minutes this medium sized honey with a great smile and a traffic -stopping ass snuggles up to me . I want to say I held out for a while but who am I kidding ? She told me her name was "Suzy q" or " Suzy cul " as I re-named her. After grinding that world class ass against my crotch for not even 10 minutes I was shamelessly handing her my key . I'm not so much for details but I will say that once inside that cabine there was a small nuclear explosion. That girl went through the full alphabet of postions in there before I finally could hold out no longer and came. As I write this i'm still thinking of how I felt looking down at her amazing her bare ass up in the air .At that moment I was equal parts Hugh Hefner and Superfly! It does not get any better , I was finally back in Rio!
After having a drink at luomo it was time to get some food and check out the action at Terraco atlantico. The food at the terrace is usuall very reliable and I know Mesquite likes it as well so off we went. i usually don't hang much at the terrace or at Help for that matter but all those customs of previous trips were broken this time. Having touched down at the terrace at say 9:30 I could not believe the amount of stunners outside!! I don't want to sound jaded but I usually find that there are a lot of hardened "pro's" hanging outside everynight at the terrace. I was in total shock as to the sheer volume of incredible beauties just hanging. My neck was in a constant swivel motion as I tried to keep up with all the gorgeous asses that had taken over the terrace. It was explained to me that the closer it gets to carneval the more woman come from all parts of Brasil to Rio. I sat down at a table which included Jaguar , and Chave, great guys who I met for the first time , mesquite , skisandy , and a couple of other guys . One thing about meeting guys in this capacity is that you meet people from all walks of life from all over . You're meeting people that under normal circumstances you would probaly never meet. I guess that ass really is the great equalizer. I hung with all those guys until they were ready to go inside of Help and being my first night, I opted to get some sleep instead . The end to yet another perfect day in Rio.

part two to come

Cdaze, fantastic meeting you, and we can't wait to have you down again. BTW, we finally got our office repainted, and your painting on the wall again. We've already had a huge number of inquiries regarding how much it cost. You may want to plan your next trip accordingly ;)

Leila says, "Oi!"

Gibletpie !
It was great meeting you as well and hanging with you at Bononia. Lets hope we can relive that adventure again, not!! Stayed tuned for the upcoming Luomo painting featuring the full cast of characters . "oi" to Leila

Can't WAIT to see the Luomo painting! Be sure to get the wine stains on Sweet's bathrobe right ;)

Cdaze,

It was great meeting you on this last trip, but even better reading about it in a timely fashion.

At least you're not like that other asshole reporter who writes his reports months after the fact and then doesn't post the next part for another two months. Hombre should really do something about that guy. I'm sure the rest of the board agrees with me; well, maybe at least on this one point.

Okay, you got me hooked with your great writing style, now just keep it coming.

More, more, soon, soon!!!

Jag

you can write as well as paint. who would have guessed. you may be painting cell walls if you keep hanging with the likes of ken. see you soon hopefully.

Gibletpie,
the wine stains on Sweets robe will be forever immortalized on canvas!

Day 2 of the adventure,

I should mention that most of my trips to rio are a combination of cultural things like painting , seeing live music etc. and of course checking out terma action. For the sake of the board i'll leave out the " cultural activities " and just get to the terma action . It's always good to have some kind of game plan before leaving and mine was simple. I wanted to revisit my terma favorites , check out a couple of new spots, and do the agencies .
Since I had gotten Luomo,the "Cheers" of termas under my belt ,it was time to visit the " Kmart " of termas, that" valhalla " of ass , yes that's right , none other than 4x4 ! This place is on a much larger scale than all the other spots. If you can't find what you want at 4x4 you'd better get on the next plane home . I love this place but for differant reasons . In Luomo you kind of have this intimate party feeling , in 4x4 all that goes out the window . You can fuck one girl , go back out to the bar , choose another girl , do her , and not ever run into the first girl . A lot of the girls know this and understand it . Because there are so many girls there ,and it is quite big ,you can somehow be at least partly anonymous . That morning I did my daily routine of getting something to eat , going to the internet cafe , and then by early afternoon I was off to centro. Upon walking in once again I was transformed into the "wannabe newbie ". There were so many beauties that I almost went into an epileptic fit at the desk . Getting through all that, changing into my bathrobe ,and venturing out into the bar I immiediatley noticed that the place had undergone renovation since I had last been there 9 months ago. There was now another bar , a shower area in the bar and new immovable tables . The place had some kind of weird Roman decor going on but whatever , The only decor i'm interested in is the kind stuffed into a thong . I did still feel like a newbie however and luckily for me I ran into a photographer friend who lives in Rio and has photographed many of the girls there giving him an extensive knowledge of who is who. . As we had a drink and talked a Blondish morena with a seductive smile caught my eye . As we talked she told me her name was Nubia and my photographer friend gave me the thumbs up . Not wanting to rush into anything I told my friend I was thinking of taking this one upstairs , but wasn't sure how far she would go. He takes her to the side ,gives her a little pep talk and off we went . I'm not sure what he told her but once we got inside the cabine she was accomodating and enthusiastic in everyway . I guess i'm a sucker for a warm sensuous smile and a great ass because that seriously gets me . When a great ass walks by me on the street it's like the rest of the world has stopped except for that ass .It might sound a little naive but I think that even in a terma there is still something to be said for chemistry . If the chemistry is right the sex is all that and more .Anyway Nubia had all that going for her and as we left I made a mental note to revisit her at a later date . Coming out of 4x4 I thanked my photographer friend for his great recommendation . No longer did I feel like a "newbie" , I was in the mix.
As I said earlier I had a plan before leaving and so far my plan was going according to scheduale . Day 3 it was time to call up Karla models and order someone up . In doing this I have to mention to those that don't know that it's best to call them before the early afternoon. Karla's is open from 10 till 9:00 more or less but it's best to call by early afternoon to not only get the girl you want but to ensure a better performance from her. By evening time that girl may have already done 4 guys that day and most likely will just want to sleep as was my experience once. Karla's is a reliable agency and I highly recommend it . Most of the girls are pretty, polite and just cool to hang with .
So I called them up and went with the third choice on the list I had . Fortty minute later my doorbell rings and in walks Ruanna , a medium to petite size blondie ( do I have a thing for blondes ? ) with a killer body . Since it was like 90 degrees everyday I was there girls aren't wearing much to begin with so I had a pretty good idea of what her body looked like even before she took her clothes off . We made some small talk and into the bathroom she went to shower as I looked at the agency book or "bookie " as they say. Needless to say I was a happy man when she came out wearing nothing but a happy smile . This girl gave one of the best blowjobs i'd had in a while and when we were finished I could hardly get up off the bed . After sex we hung for a bit , took a shower together and had just enough time for one more round . She had a great personality and a great ass ;mental note to revisit.
Finishing up with her I had just enough time to make it to the beach to hang with my new buddies Jaguar , skisandy , and Hollywd32 . In the past I never really hung out that much on the beach in front of the Rio Othon because I hate being pestered by all the vendadores selling stuff. I quickly realized that Senhor Jaguar had the situation in control . Mr. Jaguar Had a row of beach chairs and umbrellas lined up for us courtesy of his new "adopted son " Fernando . This guy Fernando was so on top of it that he not only kept the pesky vendadores away but every 10 minutes or so he would come around and water or hot feet while his lazy brother Cosmo sat around and smiled at girls. Fernando and his partner Fiscal took care of us royally on the beach catering to our every whim. At one point we got Chave to come down who was a little skeptical at first but once he got a taste of that feet watering treatment he was sold too. I don't want to leave out the fact that just as terrace was packed with quality talent the beach was no exception either . Though I didn't get the opportunity to partake in any of that Mr. Jaguar showed me the potential of the beach . Yet another rule broken.

After day 3 the trip began to take on whirlwind proportions as I just decided to throw away some of the resevations I'd had previously . I think I did some cultural stuff for a couple of days and then it was time to happily get back into my downward spiral . I made it back to 4x4 with my photographer friend who once again suggesed I go with with this short morena with dark hair named Carol . Once again his advice paid off as this girl had a special talent .She could make her pussy lips and ass quiver and move . What control ! My session with her was great and once again my friend's advice paid off . Coming back down from the cabine and into the bar I ran into an old flame of mine i'll call M. Now M and I have a bit of history and at first it was great to see her . It didn't take her long to get a hold of my key and off we went to make up for lost time. Where it went south is that she spent at least half of the session asking me questions about "other girls" . That's when I remembered that even though she was great sex and for the most part had a great personality she was ridiculously jealous . Half the session went by like this and when the phone rang she wanted to go for another hour. I said "no" and held my ground and that was it . I didn't come to Rio to be cross examined by a prosecuter . I cut my losses and never called her or saw her again.
You can never underestimate how jealous and possesive these girls can get if you let them. Leaving 4x4 it was time to meet up with the whole crew at the Terrace , Jaguar ,Hemp , SFhombre , Don,LVDOCC ,Skisandy , of course Chave , who insisted that tonight I would be going into Help, and a few others . So later on off I went into Help and yet another rule was broken. As I said earleir I usually don't make it to Help but I thought to myself "why not "? Once inside Chave had secured several tables on the stage area filled with drinks . He's also a great guy who really cracks me up . This time however I would be the butt of a few jokes . I'm not sure if I invited these chicks up or Chave did for some drinks but these two girls started hanging and dancing around with us. To make a long story short one of them whose body i'll kindly describe as " thick" and had this weird psychotic smile took a liking to me . Her smile looked like it was carved into the side of her head with a broken bottle hence her new nickname , "the joker ". Anyway I could not shake the Joker . At one point she asked me my name and it turns out we have the same name!! I shit you not ! She ran over to Chave and told him that She would pay Me to fuck her. Chave being the great guy that he is negotiated my rate at 400 reals not including taxi . So there I was in Help suddenly on the programa . I tried to dance with her somehow thinking this would get her off my case a little but within minutes I became nuaseated at the sight of that grimace . I took off for the crowd and after about 20 minutes I thought I had lost her. Not so ! Bam! the joker materialized out of nowhere and suddenly I was faced with the prospect of going home with that grimace. I shook her again and this time took off for the door. I was out of Help and safe frome the joker's greasy tentacles.

Next day there were a lot of jokes around the table about that one . I decided to stick to termas and agencies . I took off with Gibletpie for a new spot called Bononia . Bononia is located two blocks further north of Luomo and in my opinion is great. The entrance fee is around 30 reals and you get either 3 mixed drinks or 4 beers with that. They're a new terma so they're still getting some things sorted out but it's avery clean facility close to the size of Luomo. Talent wise I would say the girls are o.k. I did see a couple of cuties in there and would have sessioned if it were not for the cops raiding that spot . I'm told this has to do with shaking the place down and happens periodically to all termas . It was a little scary to be in a bathrobe while 4 or 5 guys with machine guns are standing around but I realized this is how things are done in Rio . I will be back to Bononia . It is still a great new spot in my opinion and a great option to Luomo when that place gets too crowded. So after the Bononia incident off Gibletpie and myself went to Luomo . Once inside there I hooked up with a beautiful , tall , blonde ( again with the blondes ! )morena named Liela. A sweet , sexy girl, we had a great session and after spent our time downing caipirinhas and hanging with Gibletpie. This is what I mean about Luomo . On certain nights you simply cannot duplicate that atmosphere. It's just all the right elements coming together at the same time. Next time i'm in Rio I think i'm just going to move into a cabine at Luomo.

The remaining days of my trip were spent at the beach , Help one more time , Luomo one more time , some cultural stuff , another Karla's girl , Layla Betly ,and finishing off with Ruanna from Karla's on my last day . This trip was so special to me in many ways . I had countless great times in Rio prior to this that's for sure, but in this short trip I managed to do almost everything. In addition to seeing all my old friends like Don , Sfhombre, and Sweet mesquite again I met some great new guys like Chave and Jaguar who are really great to hang with. Rio is definately a place where you can meet guys from all backgrounds who you might not normally meet hanging and having fun . I know that it wont be another 9 months until my next trip .

Cdaze,

I can't believe it, you make us wait over six hours for Part Two. Have you no shame!! I bet you're making that other lazy asshole reporter mad as hell. Good, he deserves it!

Keep it coming my friend, we all enjoy you taking us on this trip with you, except for the Joker part. Boy, was she UGLY!! I can vouch for that. You can blame her sudden appearance on Chave, he likes to "stir things up" and then sit back and watch the mayhem unfold.

Fernando is great, isn't he? You got a taste of his creative pricing, didn't you? Oh well, at least he has a good heart.

Jag

Hey Chris, it is good to hear that you are still having a great visits to Rio. It has been a while since our paths have crossed. I think the last time I saw you was in front of the Apoador Inn...I was with a charming spinner from Belo Horizonte who I met the previous night at Franks...and I fell madly in bed with her. Great legs...gee, I wish I could find her again...(pauses, faraway look on face...sighs...)
Great report! I hope to see you in Rio again soon.

Cdaze.
Great reporting; you write with panache! I hope our paths cross soon. And, glad you enjoyed the guide.
Bwana

Blissman,
I remember that day I ran into you perfectly! You had a very content look upon your face . I know how you feel . There are a couple of garotas out there who I sometimes wonder about as well. I hope to see you soon.

Bwana,
Glad you like the report. That's a real compliment coming from someone like you.

Jaguar,
Hopefully I'll be back on the beach hanging with you , Fernando , Fiscal , and Cosmo soon. Yeah ,his pricing was a bit creative ,but the sight of him hugging you on the last day was priceless !

CD,
Sounds like you had a good time, duh! I wonder how many guys have had the identical experience that you note in your introduction, I know I did/do . Can't believe you ran into M, boy do I remember how into her you were. Hope the next time were in Rio at the same time. Take care,
CG
PS oh if I have never said it, thanks Bwana and Don.

CG,
Thanks? WTF for?
BD

Beach Action


Photos: Ruanna 01 02

BD,
I read your sage words before I left on my first trip and several times since.
CG

CG,

Well, if you read my "sage words," it's obvious I need to add more info on picking the right garota at Help.

BD

Bwana, I got that one. LOL! Or maybe you need to include a section on "Doorframe as weaponry." Just a suggestion... ;)

LMAO at the Joker, I almost pissed myself reading that. Too funny

I'll be there on my first trip in three days!! God Damn I can't fucking wait!

Bwana and Gibletpie,
That hurt, not as much as a doorjamb spear though. I doubt any amount of written word could have saved me from my fate that evening, it was kismet. I sure hope Jag is in town for my next trip, maybe he could teach me about Help?
CG

CG,
Let's see if we can talk Jag and Cdaze into coming with us next time. Cdaze can keep "The Joker" occupied and Jag will attract all the rest of the dangerous ones in Help. Nevertheless, if I end up in an apartment next door to you, you are FORBIDDEN from pulling any Help garotas!
BD

Cdaze,

Long time no see. Can't believe it's been about 3 years since we met and last hung out in Rio (with Karl). Glad to hear that you're still "naming" the girls at Help. You'd tell us if you saw "Bette Midler," "Jiffy Pop" and "Bitter Beer Face" wouldn't you? I'm shocked that M didn't put you in immediate "lock down."

Cdaze
Was great hanging on the beach with everyone. Thank God next trip is only 6 weeks away! UGH!!!

segue99...
Wow ! "bette Midler", "Bitter beer face "... Those are names I remember. Remember that chick we called the humunculus ? She was rancid! I must say though however that there was quite a lot of talent in Help in the weeks prior to Carneval. I had never seen that many stunners in there. I did see one outstanding freak outside of help. She had to have been about 60 years old and was trying to sell herself as part of a dupla. I was with a table full of guys and at first we all thought she was somebody's mother. I guess it takes all kinds. I wonder if she went home alone ? I know i'm not that brave. hope to see you again,
take care

CDAZE, I enjoyed reading your trip report.

I also hanged on the beach with Jaguar. Everyone should hang on the beach with Jaguar at least one day. It's like hanging with James Bond. You don't know if he'll pepper spray someone, run from a clown, fight with a vendor that accidentally throws sand in his face, torture the banditos with his cigar smoke, watch a plane crash in the ocean, meeting semi-nude garotas on the beach, etc....


We'll talk some more over a couple of drinks next week. However, I think you should include some of your cultural and musical activities in your trip report. I think most guys would enjoy reading about it. I am contemplating writing a Carnaval\music guide for us gringos at some point.

tchau
HS69