I should have slept more.

That’s what I kept thinking that first week in Rio. Between working late and partying later—which is pretty much standard fare when you live in Vegas—I was more or less sleepwalking through the first sixth of my trip. That partying, combined with the sleepless, twenty hour travel day down had left me looking and feeling like a zombie when I stumbled out of a taxi and into the Rio daylight in front of the Princess Copacabana.

Now, which guy was my guide? He’d told me he would meet me here. My instincts told me he couldn’t be one of the two sharply dressed gentlemen lounging against the hotel wall. So the third guy had to be Don. Blood-shot eyed, stubble faced, looking like he’d had a rough night and a worse morning, in clothes that sagged in a way that suggested they’d long since given up hope of being taken off before bed…

He looked like my kind of guy.

As Don helped me shuffle my bags through the door of the Princess, one of the other two guys said amiably, “Now that looks like a guy who’s had a long flight into Rio!” Jesus, I thought, I look as bad as I feel. Don would later inform me that the two guys were Sandman and Jaguar. Don gave me a phone and helped get me checked in. He explained to me that he was taking a few guys out to a terma a bit later, and that it was a pretty good one to start out in. He asked me if I wanted to nap for a couple of hours first. Honestly, a couple of days would have suited me better, but I agreed that it sounded pretty good. Don told me he’d call me at 5.

Five o’clock came way too early. Don picked me up from the Princess, and we had a pretty good conversation as we walked to Luomo. He told me the women down here would love my red hair and blue eyes. He told me that I’d never want to fuck an American woman again. I didn’t know then how right he would be.

In retrospect, I should have taken that first night off. I’d planned a five week trip, and one night certainly wouldn’t have hurt, but after anticipating this experience for so long, I didn’t want to waste a second to get started.

After we changed into our robes and flip-flops, Don said he would give me the tour. I caught a glimpse of gorgeous, bikini clad women in a bar to my left as we went through the glass door. And Don was going…to the right? Right? Damnit! I want to go left! Don showed me the showers and saunas, which, to this day, I have never once used. I’ve heard they’re nice. Some guys really like them. I don’t even remember what they look like. My mind, to this day, is still in that bar to the left.

Finally, we get back to that sweet little piece of Heaven I glimpsed on the way through the door. The bar at Luomo. Where, little did I know at that moment, I would come to spend a significant portion of my life. Heads turned. Eyes flashed. Smiles came out of hiding. Gorgeous, nearly naked female bodies turned toward me. I was stunned. It was so far beyond anything I had imagined. Even after all the pictures on CH.

Don asked me what I wanted to drink. “Corona and a Patron,” I replied. “Well, they don’t have Corona down here, and they have Tequila, but it’s not Patron.” “Hmmm…White Russian?” “They’ve never heard of Kahlua in their lives.” “Wow…Vodka Cranberry?” “They don’t know what Cranberry Juice is.” “Vodka OJ?” “They have OJ, but don’t call it a screwdriver. If you call it a screwdriver they won’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. It’s called a Hi-Fi.”

This was definitely going to be more difficult than I thought. In fact, I haven’t even bothered to try to order anything else in Rio. When I want to drink, I tell them “Hi-Fi.”

I was instantly cornered by a cute little chick named Suellen. She claimed me. Told me I couldn’t fuck other girls. Don fortunately, had already informed me on our walk over that the best thing to do was to fuck a different girl every time. That way, they all know what you’re about pretty quickly. And I was planning on doing just that. I was already glad I’d hired him.

Talking was awkward. I’d only managed 8 lessons of Pimsleur’s before coming down, and I already wished I’d studied more. So after a tense exchange, and some quite nice kissing, I gave her my key. Ten minutes, and I was anxious to get started.

Was I nervous? Hell yes. Having sex with a girl I’d met only 10 minutes earlier and hadn’t been able to successfully exchange 2 complete sentences with? Well, that was just weird. This was my first mongering trip. First time in Rio. First P4P. First everything. And I was tired, man, I was dog TIRED.

So maybe that’s why I couldn’t get it up. Yeah. It’s true. Couldn’t get anything happening down there. I felt bad. I told her it wasn’t her. So my first session at my favorite place in the world turned out to be…a backrub. I put it down to nerves and deep weariness. I tried not to let it bother me, but it did. I drank some. I went home and slept with the conviction that tomorrow would be a success.

I woke up tired. I’ve rarely been able to sleep for more than 8 or 10 hours at a time, and it was clear my body needed much more than that. But I went with the guys out to 4x4 anyway. I wanted to see what it was like. The first chick who really caught my eye was a stunning little morena clara. She was eyeing me heavily. I knew I was going to fuck her. But I knew I wasn’t going to fuck her today. I was still too tired. So I smiled back at her, but didn’t approach.

Her face dropped. Her hands clenched. She looked pretty disappointed that I hadn’t motioned her over. So I figured I had to say something. I walked up to her and told her I was tired today, but I wanted to stay with her the next time I came in. Fortunately, she understood a little English, and between that and my Portuguese, I was able to get my point across. She smiled happily. On the way out of 4x4, I also spotted another stunner. I definitely wanted a session with her as well. I said, “Until soon, beautiful,” in Portuguese, and she flashed a great smile.

The third day, I stayed with Adriana in Luomo. She just looked gorgeous. And we couldn’t talk, so I pulled the trigger pretty quickly. Back in the cabine, I was nervous again. I could feel it. So I lay there kissing her and hoping something would happen. As I was kissing her, I thought, Man, just look what a beautiful girl. And the kisses. The kisses are soooo nice. And I relaxed. And my first-time terma jitters disappeared. And I had what I considered at the time to be a great session. Had a few drinks afterward and walked out of the terma a proud and happy man.

The next day, I went back to Luomo and did Bruna. By this time, Suellen was pissed that I’d stayed with Adriana, and she told me as much. I smiled and asked her, “Where’s your friend Bruna today?” Suellen punched me on the arm. Bruna came out and said, “I heard what you said. You’re funny.” Bruna was a tiger. Bruna was definitely worth the trip.

The next day in Luomo, I didn’t know who to fuck. Suellen was still very pissed that I’d stayed with two other girls—to the point of shooting me angry looks every time I glanced in her direction, and now Adriana was doing the same because I’d stayed with Bruna. I’d liked Adriana. I wanted to stay with her again. I envisioned in four and a half more weeks, every girl in the club looking at me with hatred in her eyes. So I made my first mistake. I decided to stick with one girl for a while. I went with Adriana again.

By now, with my confidence swollen, among other things, after 3 successful sessions, I was certain that my initial nervousness had passed. So the next day I headed out to 4x4 to nail one of those beautiful stunners. The morena clara seated herself next to me almost as soon as I sat down. She had a bright smile and greeted me with, “My boyfriend!!!” Uhh ohhh, I thought. She told me her name was Cindy. She spoke a little English, and we talked for a bit. She kept filling pauses in the conversation by stroking my hair and saying, “Beautiful. My boyfriend is beautiful!”

This already had me worried after all the jealousy I was getting at Luomo. I had to avoid this somehow. So I asked her, “I’m your boyfriend?” She nodded. “So you’re going to get mad if I stay with other girls?”

“You want another girl?” she asked. I said, “Maybe…” She said, “Which one?” So I pointed to the stunner I’d seen in the lobby the last time.

I think something got lost between my Portuguese and her English, because she stood up immediately and went to talk to the other girl. The other girl returned with her and now I had one girl on each side. Whoa, I thought, She thought I wanted two girls at the same time! The other girl introduced herself as Tatiana. As the two of them ran their fingers through my hair and stroked my chest, two girls at once did not seem like a bad thing at all. In fact, it seemed like quite a good thing. And neither of them had any reason to get jealous. So, I ended up having a threesome.

And my first experience with a girl who would give me a lot of hell.

I ended up getting Cindy’s phone number afterward with tentative plans to see her over the weekend.

Around this time, I started meeting some other mongers who would make my trip memorable for more than the sex. One guy, I’ll call Niceshoes. I’ll never forget his first time in Luomo. First Rio terma experience for him. He took 5 steps into the bar, his eyes got HUGE behind his glasses, and he suddenly mumbled, “I have to go get my asthma inhaler.” He turned around and walked right into the mirrored wall beside the door. My favorite first timer story ever.

I remember hanging out in Help with him one night where a friend negotiated an all nighter for him with a very attractive stunner. Four hundred reals. The story he told us later is that, after the first time he popped, she said, “Okay, let’s go back to Help.” He said, “Why would I want to go back when I’ve got you here all night?” But she complained. So he said, “Okay, if you want to go back, I’ll give you two hundred and you can leave now.” “No, I’ll stay,” she said.

He tried to have sex with her again, and she said, “No I have to get up early for school.” He tried again. And she went off on him, “You crazy! You crazy on Coca! You just want fuck fuck all night! You crazy on drugs!” So he gave her the four hundred just to get rid of her. I saw her back at Help later that night.

The next night, I wanted to mess with him, so I tried to get her all night for 300. Her friend spoke English and tried to negotiate for her. She said, “Look at her! You think you can get pussy like that for 300? Look at her shoes! Her shoes alone cost 300 reals.”

I said, “Tell her I don’t want to fuck her shoes.”

Her friend laughed her ass off while she translated, but the girl with the shoes didn’t think it was so funny.

I’ll never forget when Niceshoes left town. His favorite terma girl staged a fake wedding, complete with Bridal train, and they both danced between rows of girls applauding them. A terma moment only possible in Luomo.

And then there was Hollywood32. Great guy. I remember when Hollywood and I bought a Rio taxi driver a session in Luomo. The guy was floored. He thanked us profusely for making his dream come true. He didn’t know how he was going to explain to his wife why he couldn’t get it up for her tonight. And the girl was a little pissed about having to bang a Rio cab driver. I think Hollywood ended up paying for it. Great night. Great story.

And Don and I were becoming good friends. I remember the night when Luomo was dead, just us and maybe one other guy, and Don entertained the girls by doing a striptease to Lady Marmelade. The girls were falling over each other laughing so hard. And I’m thinking, I love this guy. I love this place. I’m home.

Meanwhile, I was still staying with Adriana in Luomo. We had made plans to meet up outside of work several times, but she had never showed up. Always excuses. But she was quick to claim me as hers inside the terma. And the sex had gotten much worse. Honestly, when you’re fucking a beautiful girl and thinking “How can I get out of this?” something’s probably wrong. So, when she didn’t show up one night at Luomo after telling me she would be there, I got fed up. I had 4 girls sitting around me all the time. One of them told me, “She’s not your girlfriend, she’s your wife. You have a lot of girlfriends. I love you, she loves you, she loves you. You have a lot of girlfriends.”

So I took two of them in the back and fucked them. Gabi and Ingrid.

So now, Suellen was pissed, Bruna was pissed, Adriana was VERY pissed, and Gabi and Ingrid were happy as hell. And me, I wasn’t doing too badly either.

Meanwhile, at 4x4, my threesome thing seemed to be working out nicely. I banged Cindy and Tatiana a few times together, a few individually, and then I started branching out. When Tatiana took a day off, Cindy asked me who else I wanted. She said, “Pick her! Please pick her!” I said, “Do you like her?” She nodded. I thought this could get interesting. Once in the cabine that she wanted to do Elis first and I could get mine later. That was fine with me. So I watched Cindy and Elis go at each other. They both loved to eat pussy, and from the interplay between them, I could tell there might be a relationship building. Afterward, I got mine, and everyone was happy. Then I did Tatiana and Moranginha together. Morangiha was a dirty little chick who loved to suck you all the way to the root. She did this in the cabine BEFORE going to get her kit, which I thought was a nice touch.

Cindy got jealous that I’d sessioned without her. She tried to claim me. She told me that I could stay with Cindy and Tatiana, or Cindy and another girl, but never Tatiana and another girl. She said I had to like her best. She said, “Cindy first.” I told her I liked her and Tatiana equally and there would be two number ones. She didn’t like it, but I wouldn’t budge, so she eventually accepted it. I had no problem keeping both of them on. Both were beautiful, and I loved fucking them, and I was digging threesomes, so it was all good with me. There was no one else in 4x4 I wanted to fuck as much as those two girls.

When Tatiana got sick and took a week off work, I let Cindy pick the girls. Cindy and Sasha, Cindy and Elis… I’ll never forget watching Elis go down on Cindy and seeing Cindy point first to my dick and then her mouth. So I face fucked her while Elis went down on her. I remember feeling so good for her. That she must feel so wonderful to be loved by two people at the same time.

Elis bought Cindy a little ankle bracelet. Elis started acting a bit jealous. Cindy told me she and Elis had a date for the weekend. There was definitely something forming between the two of them.

I’d caught Tatiana’s cold from her before she took time off work. But me, I didn’t stop fucking. Bought a Z-pack and kept fucking my brains out. I remember Sandman telling me I looked like shit and that I needed to slow down. I remember him asking me a week later if I’d slowed down yet, and I said, “Nope!”

4x4 had become my mainstay by this point. I’ll have to back up and explain. See, Ingrid was a fucking animal in the rack, and I wanted to stay with her again. There was also a chick named Suzanna whom I had an eye for. It turned out that Suzanna happened to be Ingrid’s roommate. So, I’m thinking, how the hell do I pull this one off? Two roommates, possibly lovers on the side, someone’s going to get jealous. Suellen and Bruna were still harassing me constantly to stay with them again. Bruna was the more aggressive of the two, and all the drama—sometimes going so far as to kick me, pull my hair, spill drinks on me—was really getting on my nerves.

So I thought, “Threesome!” Perfect. It was working fine at 4x4. So I arranged for Ingrid and Suzanna to meet me at Help one night. I pointed out a hot little blonde named Sol and said, “Bring her, too,” just to make it perfectly clear that I was a safado and no one should be getting jealous or possessive.

Well, as my good friend Jaguar’s reports will attest, things rarely go as planned in Rio.

Suzanna kept saying she shouldn’t go. All night long in Luomo, she kept saying she didn’t think Ingrid wanted her to go. I talked to Ingrid and she said that was stupid. She assured Suzanna that she should come along.

All 3 girls showed up at Help. I’d brought my new friend Manimal along. Now, I have to explain something. I’ve noticed that some guys, when they come to Rio, are more than a little shy at first. Some guys will pick one of the worst looking girls in a terma to session with first because they’re less intimidated. I think they kind of feel in the back of their heads that they don’t DESERVE a beautiful girl—that there’s no way she could like him. After some time, they become more comfortable and start to go for better looking girls.

Well, Manimal was one of those guys. He’d been eyeballing Sol like she was a steak dinner for about a full week. But when I suggested he take her to a room, he always said, “Oh, no. Can’t. I can’t.”

But he picks this night, of all nights, to finally get some balls. He keeps telling me, “3 girls! Three girls just for you! You dog! Look at Sol. She’s gorgeous!” And he starts talking to her and flirting with her and getting all giggly and googly-eyed. I figure, “Ahh, hell, what am I going to do with 3 girls anyway. Let him take Sol.” So I tell Ingrid that I think my friend likes Sol. Ingrid immediately tells Sol that she is now with Manimal. I knew she’d be happy to get Sol out of the way. As soon as we’d hit Help, Ingrid had started telling me, “You’re my husband. You’re not my boyfriend, you’re my husband.”

Suzanna was now saying she didn’t want to go back to the apartment. She was saying she didn’t think Ingrid would like it. Ingrid said, “That’s stupid. Come back with us.”

Don called and informed us that it was raining like hell outside. He asked what time we were leaving. I told him we were planning to leave in about 15 minutes. So when we exit Help, there’s my buddy Don—standing in the rain holding an umbrella. What a great guy. We let the three girls hunch, giggling under the umbrella while Don, Manimal and I walk back to my apartment in a virtual monsoon.

Gibletpie,

Well worth the wait!! You must take great notes because you had each girl's name and terma location correct, as well as, what you did with each one.

Hopefully, there's more to come. If there is and it doesn't come soon, I'll start giving you shit just like you gave me.

BTW, Miss Bubble Lips (MBL) tried that "husband" stuff on me and look at where she landed.

Jag

Jag,

Actually, I took absolutely no notes. This is all from alcohol-soaked memory. It gets fuzzier later on when we hit what I will refer to as Pussy Week ;) Which means that, yes, there is much more to come.

Ken, you safado bastard, how the hell can you recall that kind of stuff? I couldnt even remember who I fucked the day before. Each girl always made me forget about the one before. I felt like I was in a bit of a daze in Rio. I cant wait for the next trip in September. Cant wait for the rest of your report. Later, AZ

Hey Ken, I forgot to ask, have you seen Mick and the boys at any termas yet? You gotta at least get a new t shirt. AZ

Gabby can be a real pain in the ass, its a good thing your buddy just gave her the 400R and told her to leave. Otherwise, she probably would have called the cops on him. She has the "Centarus mentality", 1 hour and she is out of there!

Hey Gibletpie,

Nice James Joyce reference in the title of your report!! This is the kind hi-brow (or is it hi-fi!) stuff that the Philly blueblood Jag should be writing...lol. Is Jag going to try and meet Mick at the Strolling Bones free concert?

Looking forward to my next trip to 4x4 with Delicious K...hanging with my future ex-wife (I think her name was Pietra or was that her friend?)

Dave

Great reporting, Gib.
I met you during that trip but I never realized that it was your first trip to Rio. Hell, I was beginning to suspect that you had bought 4x4 judging by the way that you were received there. Dsmn woodpeckers, you guys have all the luck!

> I remember Sandman telling me I looked like shit and that I needed to slow down. I remember him asking me a week later if I’d slowed down yet, and I said, “Nope!”

That my friend is an understatement. I have seen guys that have been up for days on their first trips to Rio that looked better than you did that day. At least you survived!!!

Nice report buddy!

Nice work, GP. Having just spent the evening reliving Rio moments with Catocony here in DC, it was nice to hear another voice recounting great times. I'm amazed at your recall. If I don't write something down immediately, it's gone! But then, you're barely postpubescent. Fuckin' kids!

Tell Ingrid I said she's a slut, whore, puta and don't ever call or email me again, lol. Next time I'm in Rio I'm fucking Don's and your girlfriend, this nice guy stuff is for the birds. If I see MBL I'm nailing her too and I'm not buying her any damn cameroons. There is now a $50 reals reward for any photos of Ingrid with cum on her face or bunda, I feel violated.

AZguy-- No, actually we haven't seen Mick or Keef around the termas. From what I hear, the big stars prefer to "order in." When my ex worked at an escort agency, she stayed with Snoop Dogg and Lenny Kravitz. They picked her out of the book and paid to nail her. I got it 3 months for free. In my book, that means I'm a bigger pimp than Snoop Dogg

Dave7427-- Actually, Jag is coming in just after the Rolling Stones. Which sucks because I think Mick is long overdue for a terminal mishap... And Pietra is the one you nailed. Her friend who said she wanted to marry you and live with you in the states is Cindy. Look forward to seeing you again. Give us plenty of notice and we'll try to scare up some human remains for you to transport. ;)

Blissman-- Nah, if I owned the place, they wouldn't give me so much shit about trying to jump into the shower with the girls in the main bar. And Brazilians would have to pay up front for a session. Gringos get in free. ;)

Sandman-- Yeah, I fucked for 6 weeks solid and lived to tell the tale ;) Hope to see you down here again soon.

Bwana-- Thanks. I've always had a pretty good memory. Don't know why. And barely postpubescent?!? Try telling that to my liver!

Thumper-- Yeah, he did the right thing on that one. She seems like she could be a real bitch if she wanted to, although some guys swear she's got a great attitude. Go figure.

Therightway-- Awww, c'mon now! You doubt that Ingrid's love for you is true? Didn't anyone tell you that Rio hookers never lie? And anyway, my trip was long before she met you. She didn't know she was gonna meet a man one day who could tear her pussy up! Give yourself some credit. ;)

Great Report Gibletpie!
You seemed to have gone from a slow start to king of the duplas in no time!
I know what you mean about Luomo. There are some times that I have spent there that are nothing short of magical . It's like the stars were all in alignment or something . A great place , I have great memories of .
thanks.

Thanks, Cdaze. Yeah, I did pretty much become the kind of the duplas. Wait til you read about my last week in Rio... And, yeah, man, Luomo is just magical sometimes. Especially right now. They've got about 45 girls and I'd say most of them are stunners. Just a great atmosphere...

Where are the pics? Where are the pics? Where are the pics? Hehe