RT Gooch learns the value of a dollar. Okay, the value of $12.
Part of me doesn't want to tell you people about these two days - somehow you'll ruin it. Plain and simple, I'm in awe. But you won't ruin it. You can't. You couldn't possibly. There's just too much of it for any 1,000 guys to fuck it up.
I get up at around 9:00, grab a quick shower and check my email in the hotel restaurant.
One of the advantages of traveling out of the USA is the availability of inexpensive medical care. I grab a taxi and head to Lima Centro, where there are two or three city blocks just chock full of optometrists and eyeglass stores. The one that I went to was on the 300 block of Jr. Huancavelica, but you can just wander around the area, looking at the various frames available, and make your pick that way. Me, I went to the shop with the prettiest girl working, but what do I know?
I wind up getting an examination and two pairs of rimless bifocals (one pair sunglasses) for a total of 240 Soles ($72.73). She says that they will be ready for me tomorrow by 1:00 PM. I walk around downtown for a little while, picking up some bootleg DVDs for about a dollar each, and make it back to Miraflores just in time to meet my date at noon.
We meet up, and I suggest that we head to La Mar for lunch. She counters with, "no, we should just buy lots of food and bring it back to my house and have lunch with my mother, my grandmother, my son, the cleaning lady, and us."
Previously, we have gone on a few dates. I have made some half-hearted attempts to further the relationship physically, but I just take no for an answer and go bang one of the girls in town that comes with no baggage (just a fee). She's fairly low maintenance and I like her, so I agreed. I also figured that she probably doesn't drag every gringo she meets home to meet mom, so I was on my best behavior.
The taxi takes us to a local Roky's, where we order half the restaurant: a paradilla with enough food for 100 people, some extra orders of various cow parts that I will never eat, sodas, and enough french fries to keep a bowling alley operating for a month. All for about $35.
The two hours at the house were pretty painless. Mom kept her Spanish simple enough for me to communicate with her, grandma didn't say anything, and her son didn't notice or care that I didn't understand a word he said. The food was good enough, except for the mystery cow parts.
I bailed after a couple of hours, and told her that I wouldn't see her again until Sunday, what with she having to work nights and me wanting to play in the casinos. Er, I had other plans, too, but I didn't feel the need to share them with her.
Six o'clock rolls around, and I meet up with yet another of my new friends from Perutops. He shows up on time, and we have a taxi take us to Las Cucardas.
Las Cucardas
Av. Ricardo Treneman #875
(Corner of block 9 between Av. Colonial and Av. Argentina)
330-0370 423-7202 431-6891
12° 02.741' S, 77° 03.282' W
I have absolutely no idea where this place is, but 90% of the cab drivers in Lima know it, and you have an exact address, so it shouldn't be that hard to get to. The taxi fare should run anywhere from 10-15 Soles ($3-$4.50) from Miraflores. There's a lot of security out front, and plenty of traffic, so you will not have a problem getting a cab when you want to leave.
They're open from either 9 or 10 in the morning, until at least 2:00 AM. The admission when we showed up was 20 Soles ($6). For your $6, you got a receipt and a little yellow piece of paper, along with a good frisking to relieve you of your weapons, cameras and GPS devices. They were nice enough to check my articles, give me a claim ticket, and return them when I left. No English was spoken here, but it really didn't seem to be an issue. If you had the money to get in, they were happy to see you.
OK, how do I explain this? Well, think of your standard strip joint here in the USA. You've got your big room with a bar and a stage and a pole. There's a (hopefully, pretty) girl stripping on the stage. The other girls are walking around, either trying to get you to buy them a drink or sell you a lap dance. Pretty standard, right?
Well, not here. You've got your stage, your bar and your pretty girl taking her clothes off. But there are no other girls walking the around. The rest of the girls are lined up in two hallways, standing in front of small rooms with nothing more than a bed, a mirror, and a small bathroom. These are the strippers - as a bunch, fairly attractive. Not drop dead gorgeous, mind you, but of a quality that allows them to take their clothes off in front of a crowd. There were probably 40 of 'em when we were there.
You and your friends walk up and down the halls, looking at the girls. Some are slightly aggressive, either giving you a look or grabbing your arm playfully. Others are a little more reticent, and a few are just standing and talking to their girlfriends. But they're all there, and they're all ready, and they all go for the price of 40 Soles ($12) for the half hour. Yes, for the price of a half of a lap dance, one of these strippers is yours in the cama for a half hour. You need to walk down the halls a couple of times, at least. Doors that were closed are now open, and have a girl in front, ready to go.
I narrowed down my selections until I picked Sara. Sara is 19 years old, with long, straight, dark hair with streaks throughout. I wait until she is done talking to her friend, and invite myself in. She asks me for 40 Soles and the little yellow piece of paper that they gave me when we paid the admission.
That all out of the way, we get down to business. Sara strips, tells me to get naked, puts a condom on, and asks me what I want to do. Sara has just the smoothest skin, and a fine set of tits - not too big, not too small. Just right. She started with a short blow job, and then we went on in three or four positions. At about the 20 minute mark or so, she told me that I needed to hurry up, because time was running out. I went on a little bit more, and decided that I had held out that long, I could save myself for another girl, either here or somewhere later that night. Despite not busting a nut, I had a great time going at it with a fairly hot 19-year-old, and all for $12. I did some research afterwards, and it seemed that I picked well. She has been well-reviewed on Perutops.
My friends were happy that I succeeded (trust me, it's not that difficult). When I told them that I didn't, er, finish, they offered me their little yellow piece of paper in case I wanted to go with a different girl. It seems that the piece of paper represents the house's cut in the transaction. The first one is included with the admission, but you would have to buy additional little yellow pieces of paper for any further girls. I didn't remember to ask, but I am guessing that they couldn't cost more than 10 Soles ($3) each.
The night was young, I said, so I was going to pass on anther girl there and then. This place is incredible, and I will return on future trips.
We gathered our things from security and went outside. Directly to the right of the club was a blue building with a guard in front of a door. When I asked what that was, they told me it was another brothel called La Nene Sex House.
La Nene Sex House
Av. Ricardo Treneman
Directly to the right of La Cucardas
(Corner of block 9 between Av. Colonial and Av. Argentina)
12° 02.746' S, 77° 03.293' W
The entrance fee at La Nene is 5 Soles ($1.50). No receipts; no little yellow pieces of paper. No music or dance floor, either. Just two large rooms with doorways with girls standing in front of them, hoping to invite you in.
The chica quality was lower than next door, but there were still one or two girls that were passable. At the time, I assumed that the price for service was equal to La Cucardas, but looking back, I'm thinking that the price probably was 30 Soles ($9) or - gulp! - less.
I think this all just goes to show how overwhelmed I was by the entire situation. I didn't even think to ask one of the girls about price.
I felt safe here, but compared to its neighbor, this isn't a place that I would make as one of my top options. However, if you're already in the neighborhood, I would recommend investing the $1.50 to investigate. You never know where you will find a diamond in the rough.
It was now about 9:00 PM - way too early to hit any of the other local spots, so we headed to Lima Centro and grabbed a bite at a Norky's restaurant. All four of us had quarter rotisserie chickens with fries and a soda. It wasn't the most exciting dining experience, but the chicken was good, and the whole thing (for the four of us) came to a whopping $12.50. More importantly, I got to spend some time getting to know my new friends in an environment where I could pay attention (away from naked girls). They showed remarkable patience with my horrible Spanish, and for that, I am grateful.
We finished eating at about 10. I had expressed an interest in checking out some of the clubs in Lima Centro - I assumed that they were lower-cost versions of the upscale clubs elsewhere in the city. They told me that wasn't the case, but we would check them out anyway. Our first stop was La Gruta Azul.
La Gruta Azul
Jr. Quilca #317
Lima Centro
12° 03.046' S, 77° 02.307' W
Admission here is 2 Soles ($0.60). You enter (there might have been a quick frisk - I don't remember, and head downstairs. Immediately to your left is a sitting area with a few couches. Directly in front of you is the bar, and to the right is a stage (with a pole), ringed with a bunch of chairs against two walls. The third side had a few tables, and the fourth side faced the area between the bar and the steps. On the far left (beyond the sitting area) is an archway with curtains blocking the arch.
It was fairly dark in there, and plenty loud. There was a girl dancing on the stage, and a few girls throughout the club, sitting and talking with the guys. There were plenty of customers, as well (maybe 50 guys).
I thought that the setup was pretty straightforward: you watched, chatted up a girl you liked, and then either retired to an on-site room, or paid a house fee and took your date with you. But no.
What happens here is that you sit around and drink with your friends, shoot the breeze, and watch the girlies dance on stage. Drinks were very cheap, but no soda was available! If you happen to see a girl that strikes your fancy, you can call her over, buy her a drink, and get to know her a little better. If all that progresses well, you can spring for 50 Soles ($15) and get a bottle of something and go sit with your girl in private for a half hour in the curtained off area.
According to my friends, all you get there is some privacy. No sex - just a little kissing, and maybe your hands can roam a bit, but that's it. I find that pretty hard to believe, based on my experiences in Lima over the last few years, but they all swear that that's the extent of the action there. They said that you could cut a deal with the girl for after she gets off of work at 5:00 AM (100 Soles is pretty much the going rate), but it seems to me to be an awful lot of work to have to go through to get some time with a hooker.
The girls at Gruta Azul were pretty regular-looking. No beauty queens, but no beasts, either. Just girls that might be going out on a Friday night, anyway.
We finished our beers (and my water) and walked over to the Safari Club
Safari Club
Jr. Rufino Torrico #779
427-1027
Lima Centro
This club is also referred to as 'Zafari Club'. Either way, I liked this place a lot. You enter, and almost immediately reach the bar. Most of the club is to the right. There's a stage at the far right, and tables along the wall on the two long sides of the stage. One of the short sides is up against the wall (there's a door for the dancers to enter through), and the other side has a couple of tables pushed up against it.
The concept is the same as Gruta Azul, except the place is bigger, brighter, and happier. The girls were a step up in looks, and the people there (customers and employees alike) all seemed to be having a good time. I think the 'private areas' were up on the second floor. By this point, I was getting a little tired from all of the sensory overload from the last six hours, and I didn't ask all the questions I should have. There was no cover at this club, but some places have a minimum, so that might be the case there. There were fewer customers at Safari, but people were showing up as we left.
***BROAD, SMALL-MINDED OPINION ALERT***
I really don't see any reason for the downtown clubs to exist. There are plenty of other places to listen to music and look at girls. You can't take them home (or do them on site at all) until the bar closes at 5:00 am. Many of the girls are pretty, but pretty girls are available all over the city 24 hours a day/seven days a week.
***BACK TO FAIR, BALANCED REPORTING***
That being said, I suppose these places fill a need. The people were having a good time, the drinks are cheap, you can hang with your friends and watch pretty girls pole dance, and if you hit it off with one of them, you get a half hour of low-mileage private time for $17, and, I suppose, another phone number for your black book.
And besides, the two places that I visited weren't lacking for customers, so it's clear that SOMEONE likes the concept. It's just not the type of place that I -- as a visitor -- needs to visit. My time is too limited to invest a few hours (much less multiple trips) to get some girl to agree to let me pay her for sex.
It was after 12, and I was getting tired. And we had a big day planned for tomorrow! Some of the guys stayed, but a few of us left. I got a ride back to the hotel, set up to meet the guys at Royal Spa tomorrow afternoon, and went up to go to sleep.
Who was I kidding? I was on vacation. I could sleep when I went back home. I got dressed again, and headed to Casino Miraflores, where I wound up winning $45 at blackjack fairly quickly.
It was about 1:30 by then, so I took a bus back to the Parque Central/Pizza Alley area to see who I could find. Four girls were standing together outside the entrance to Pizza Alley. I stopped about ten feet away from them, and checked my messages on my telephone, just to see what would happen.
Yessina walked over. She's 22, thin with long brown hair. She asked what I was up to, and cut to the chase right away. "Do you want some company? I'm a good girl, and I won't charge you too much money." I asked how much, and when she said $40, I confirmed that photos were OK, and off we went.
I wasn't hoping for all that much, so I was pleasantly surprised. She had a nice body, and was pretty willing to go along with whatever I could think of in bed. It wasn't a spectacular session, but it was a good one for a guy who was way tired, and just wanted to go at it one more time before going to sleep. And I got some good pictures out of the deal.
Photos: Yessina 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12
When she left I gave her the $40 she asked for, plus 20 Soles ($6) for a taxi. So, when you factor in my gambling winnings immediately prior to the session, my adventure with Yessina set me back a total of $1.
Saturday was set to be a big day, so I walked Yessina downstairs, and ran back up and was asleep almost before my head hit the pillow.
(Message edited by rtgooch on May 17, 2006)