Just returned from another trip to Rio. It seems like the slow season really brings out piranhas and you have to be very carefull, when dealing with girls who are cash strapped. This was the perfect vacation to use my little black book because Copa was absolutely dead this week! Help was the worst I have ever seen it!


The Girlfriend – I mentioned in my last report, that I am now dating a super hot Puerto Rican woman, who so far, has been very tolerant of my trips to brasil. I say “so far” because I am starting to hear some grumbling from her about my vacations. A few days before my trip, I was packing my suitcase, when she walked into my bedroom and said “I don’t know if I really feel comfortable with all these trips your making to Brasil”. As non-chalant as possible, I walked past her and muttered “Don’t worry, you'll get used to it”.

My one saving grace, which usually keeps me from having too many arguments about my travels to Latin America , is that I have family in Brasil. In fact, my family lives in Rio ! So whenever my girl starts to birch me out, I can just use the excuse “Honey, you know I am from a small family. I would never stop you from visiting your Mom, so don’t ask me to stop seeing my family!” Works like a charm! Hehehe!
I usually spend like a day or two with the family and then the rest of the time, is spent running around like a madman, chasing bunda.

The only thing that had me a little worried, when it comes to my girlfriend, is the "war wounds" that I come home with. On the last day of my trip, I was standing naked in the bathroom, shaving my face. I looked down and realised that I had a whole bunch of minature hickies, love bites and a million fucking pinch marks all over my body! I knew at that point, that I would have to make sure I didnt wear any tank top tshirts for the rest of the summer, until these marks fade away.

What do you mean, I have to pay? – ( The next 2 cases are the reason why I called my trip “Swimming with schools of Piranhas) I saw two poor mongers who were following the Bwana’s guide to Rio, step by step and unfortunately, they still got burned. We all know we should spend some quality time with our prospective garota , before we head to the apartment, in order to interview her, see if we get a good vibe from her and to make sure she knows what is expected from her. Well now, these girls expect to get paid for the damn interview!!

A) One monger was talking to a girl in Meia Pataca, he bought her lunch and a couple of beers. After about an hour, he decided that she was a little too reserved for him and decided to cut his losses. When he told her that he was going to leave, she asked him about her money. He asked her “What money?” She looked him straight in the face and said “Since the moment I came to your table and sat down, I have been on the clock. I could have made some money with another guy, but I spent the last hour with you, so you have to pay me for my time!!" He reminded her that he bought her a meal and a couple of drinks but she didn’t care, she said that “Any man I sit with, would have had to buy those things for me anyway, so it didn’t count”. She started yelling and screaming and created such a scene, that he just handed her 150R to get rid of her. She kept yelling that she wanted at least 200R, but he emptied his pockets and showed her that he had no more money.


B) Another newbie was in Help with a beautifull, morena clara, named Denise. He spent most of the evening dancing and drinking with her. Around 2AM, he decided to talk finances with the girl. He asked her how much she wanted, to go back to his apartment for all night and she replied, "300R". He told her he could only afford 200R , unfortunately, she wouldn’t budge from 300R. He told her that her that “He couldn’t afford her price” After about 5 minutes of going back and forth, she finally said she would go with him for 200R. The newbie figured that she was going to be horrible, because she would be pissed over taking less money, so he decided to leave alone. He came up with the excuse that “He was tired and that he was going to go back to his place to sleep” She told him that he needed to pay her for the time that she spent with him, he told her that there were still a bunch of guys in Help and that she could find another client.

When he tried to leave,the girl called security to stop him. They both told security their sides of the story and security told the girl “He didn’t fuck you in Help! We can’t force him to pay you for dancing and drinking! Since he paid the bill, he is free to leave!” The girl followed him outside of Help and continued screaming that she wanted 200R for her time, the newbie just walked off, trying to avoid a confrontation. Unfortunately, his apartment was right around the corner from Help and he walked straight to his place, with her trailing him the whole way. He slammed the gate in her face and told her “To fuck off, he wasn’t paying her shit!” She went and called the police! The police had him come downstairs and he ended up having to pay the girl 300R and the police 300R!!!


If at first you don’t succeed - I found an awesome 3 bedroom, beach front apartment on the web, the agency wanted $180/night for the place. I tried to negotiate with them “I come to brasil every other month and I will be staying in the place by myself. Will you accept $130/night?” They refused, saying the price was 180 bucks and they wouldn’t lower it. I wrote the place off, knowing I couldn’t afford to pay that much for an apartment. Lo and behold, 1 week later, I see the exact same apartment on the web being rented out by another agency for only $105 a night!!! I couldn’t believe the difference in price! I learned that some apartments may be shown by different agencies and one may have a better price. Instead of giving up, best to keep investigating.

Special place in my heart – I have a special place in my heart for newbies, I can’t help but want to take them under my wing. I guess the reason why I am this way, is because I was the most pitiful newbie ever!! When I first started going to Rio , there was no such thing as the internet, never mind Club Hombre. Years after my first trip, there was finally TSM and I think the precursor to this site; The Red Rooster (Or something like that). But, they mainly discussed SEA, Cuba and the DR, you would hardly ever see anything posted about Brazil . I got bent over and fucked so hard my first couple of trips, that I should have went down with a trough of KY jelly. Here are just a few, of the hundreds of mistakes I made.

A) Hotel – I was paying $165 dollars a night for a hotel that would not allow guests!! It was a couple of blocks past the Meridian , (I can’t remember the name) Even though we were booked as double occupancy, they wouldn’t let me bring any girls to the room. I had to spend an extra 50R and go to a short time hotel instead!

B) Taxi – My buddy and I spent $100 Bucks to go from the airport to Copa! We also got screwed when it was time to leave, because a rip off cabbie charged us $90 bucks to go back to the airport! (We were so please with ourselves, because we figured we had saved 10 bucks!) Luckily, we didn’t get screwed too badly on the conversion rate at the airport, because back then, the rate was $1/1.02R.

C) Working Girls – We were in Help for 3 days before we found out that the girls were pros! (At the time, I was young and halfway decent looking, so it wasn’t a miracle for me to go to a club, meet an attractive woman and bring her home.) The first night, we were so tired from the flight that we left early and just crashed in the hotel. I took a girl the second night, in the morning, she never mentioned money, just gave me a kiss and walked out. The third night a sexy mulatta broke it down to be and my buddy about the P4P scene, talk about feeling stupid!! We thought we were getting so much attention, because we were hot young studs. HAHAHAHA!

D) Termas? – Would you believe that I didn’t go to my first terma, until after I had been going to Rio for 3 years!! Remember, there was no internet and Brazilians weren’t so eager to share info with gringos back then. My very first terma was 4x4 and I must have spent 9 hours in the boite on my first trip! It was probably the greatest day of my life!! HAHAHA!


Schooling a newbie – I was standing in front of Kice Suco when I noticed a well dressed, super tall, brotha from the states. We started a conversation and he told me that this was the first day, of his first trip to Brasil. He said a couple of his buddies had been to Rio before and they gave him some great advice to follow. For instance “He should take it easy and not select the first girl that comes up to him. Just relax and take it slow, his first couple of days”. I asked him how long he was going to be in Brasil and he said 5 days! I started laughing and told him “Dude, are you nuts? Your only going to be in town for 5 days? You need to start running down hill right now!!" I asked him what termas his friends told him to go to and he asked “What’s a terma?” I cracked up laughing and told him “Lets go to your apartment so you can grab some money and we will head down to 4X4. Trust me, you are going to love it!” He damn near lost his mind when he walked into 4X4, I hooked him up with a big bunda, garota named Mayara and he was in love! I was his new best friend from then on!!

See, a newbie can learn – While we were in his apartment, I told him to take off his pricey watch, necklace and ring and leave them in his safe. (This guy used to play professional basketball, he was about 6’6 and 250 pounds of solid muscle, he reminded me of Alonzo Mourning) He responded “Man, I am from Chicago , ain’t nobody going to take my shit!!” I started laughing and told him “Look, I am sure you are a bad motherfucker in Chicago , but down here, we have 10 year old kids with 38s in their back pockets and they will have no problem putting a couple of bullets in your ass!” He just looked at me for a few seconds and said “You know what? You might be right” He went and took off all of his stuff and left it in the safe. So you see, newbies can learn, it just takes a firm hand:-)


Hanging with the Karla girls - I had a great afternoon talking to Keimy, Dany and Taissa! They gave me the inside scoop on which girls were horrible in Festas; Which girls didn’t get along with each other and which girls were really safadas in bed.

Later in the week, I ended up going out with 6 of the girls, to a club in centro, to listen and dance to Hip Hop. I didn’t try and get any ass at the end of the night, I figured, they fuck all day long for work, the last thing they would want to do, is more fucking. I was just content to hang out with them

Dany – Always a lot of fun, nice body and a great attitude

Taissa – She is alot of fun, if you get her and Dany together, otherwise she can be kinda standoffish

Keimy – Slim body, but positive attitude and an energetic screw

Diana – Very muscular, powerfull fuck and nice attitude

Judy - Very cute, and great BJ

Raquel – Pretty girl and an awesome dancer (Tatiana II)

Rebecca – Energizer bunny in human form


Chilling with regular girls - I went out on dates with two non-working girls on this vacation . One is a police officer and the other a nurse. The nurse and I went to club Symbol for Happy Hour (Got kucky with the nurse)The police officer and I went to see the movie Superman and then dancing to Ilha do Pescadores. The police officer mentioned that she would feel a little sub conscious, if we were to run into her co-workers, because I am an American. I had a great time with them both and I will continue to see them on future vacations (Headed back in 3 weeks).

Hi Thumber

I left Rio nine days ago after a first visit that was supposed to be a week and I extended to 11 days, I will not restate that I plan to put in my trip report. But I have to say that I had a great time. Visited a few Termas and took a few girls from Help. I had no problems, saw no problems and found no shortage of girls, the weather was great and as a newbie I did all the tourist stuff without the crowds and queues.

Thumper: I always like reading your reports. As a fellow New Yorker, I can relate how you see things. I hope to be in Rio soon. Also, as a fellow vet, your advice to newbies are correct.

Thanks for sharing your report.

The 2 newbie incidents were needless to say horrible. I guess other newbies can learn from their misfortunes.

In the case of Help, sounds like Help personel had the newbies back and hopping into a cab for a little ride could have prevented this R$600 loss.

Any suggestions for a newbie in the Meia P. scenario?

No, the mistake the second guy made was going downstairs when the cops came. Just ignore them, they won't come up and they will go away.

As far as the garota at MP (as well as the one from Help), this is a scam I haven't seen much in Rio. On the clock? What the fuck are these dumb cunts thinking these days? I guess if enough suckers pay up, they'll keep trying. Not to say it for the millionth time, but this is the type of shit you would not have seen a few years ago, before the dregs and favela rats took over the Help/TA/MP scene.

I used to say "Fuck the police! Dont answer the door!!" But after speaking with John Thompson about the situation, I am not so sure this technique will work. He told me that if the cops know for sure that you are in the apartment, but you refuse to open up, they might break your door down!!

He said "Even if a crime has not been commited, the police HAVE to investigate!" He said "if they kick in your door, their station commander will back them up, if the owner of the apartment makes a complaint".

He told me the best thing to do, is to try and take off for a few hours. It might be tough if she is standing in front of your building waiting for the police, but take off and try and catch a cab, hopefully, she wont grab the door or stand in front of the cab preventing it from leaving.

If I had been in the MP situation, I would have told the girl that "I am going to the bank to get her money and that I would be right back, just wait here for me!" If she insisted on going with me, I would have told her that "I had to go to Ipanema because none of the ATMS in Copa take my card. Plus, I am going to WALK there, because I have no money for a taxi".

Nice report, Thumper, sounds like a great vacation. Thumbs up on your "education of the newbie".

LOL... you're a funny dude.... i went back and read your old reports... some good stuff/great info in them... i plan to be distributing some man-cream to some unlucky garotas in january, i hope the choices of bunda are more abundant (i mean, who doesnt like a favella rat every now and then... but if that's the only choice, well, i can get a low class hooker anywhere, why the hell travel 6,000 miles)... great report (and post some pics, dude... it wouldnt hurt my feelings to see some fresh brasilera punani right about now)...

If the trend of the freelancing GDP is going to be charging for time spent, with or without sex, then it just might be a good idea to ask the GDP one question before she sits down...Ask if she expects money just for talking. If she says, "Sim", then you say, "Ciao".

Good report Thumper. Thats one of the reasons I started to avoid MP after my 2nd day down there, i'll pay a little more at a termas just not to deal with the drama. I know the time is shorter, but peace of mind. Ahh, Priceless. But people like you, (someone willing to take a newbie under their wings) can make a newbies 1st trip more memorable than he could ever imagine.

Hope to run into you sometime in Rio.

Rushen

Fine reporting. The stories about the newbies were classic even though I must admit they resulted in some audible groans.

Reading about your buddy giving the girl and the police a total of R$600 makes my skin crawl. Totally unnecessary but he didnt know any better. Not trying to be a smartass here, but that is something Don and Ken handle and keep their clients from having to shell out money. Granted, it was a unique situation, but they would have been there for the guy and no money would have changed hands.

I agree with the first guys recommendation, dont answer the door. But first, he probably should have taken a taxi to begin with, then she couldnt have followed him. Second, no reason to go downstairs to see the police. They would have simply had to take her down to the station to fill out a complaint and it would have ended there.

I am of the school of thought that you never pay the police. Having said that, I went to jail once to prove my point. It was a miserable three days but I refused to give them a nickel (still do).

I don't understand why the fool went back down to the street to talk to the Police. Once he slammed the gate, then went up to his apartment, no one would have known which door to knock on to come get him. Those doormen never know anything.

I guess when he saw the Police downstairs he figured they would be on his side. That is a bad mistake to make in Brazil.

Arellius and GCl, I really dont know what would have been better for him to do. I spoke to both John and Bobby about what to do, if the police show up at the apartment building and they both said its just better to pay and cut your losses.

Never trust your doorman, he will always sell you out, to both garotas and the police!! They know which apartments the agencies normally rent, so it wouldnt be too difficult for him to figure out where you are staying, even if he is the night man. Depending on how greedy they are, the police just might kick in your door. Once they do that, expect them to take your money, camera and anything else of value.

Not exactly sure what Don or Ken could do to help (Maybe they can chime in) because once the police show up, they will be expecting a payday! I saw two police officers respond to a gdp who called about a stolen cell phone. The first thing the cop said to her was "How much are you going to pay me to help you out?"

I still say, taking off for a few hours might be your best bet

Thumper,

I'm not denying what John and Bobby said, but since I don't trust either one of them, I still advise what everyone else has advised over the last 3+ years I've been going: play dumb. The cops will surely go for a guaranteed payday but roaming through an apartment building looking for an American doesn't seem to be that kind of payday to me. Especially over something as fucking ridiculous as not paying a garota you didn't bring back in the first place.

If guys start caving into this bullshit - paying not to fuck it will get worse and worse. Again, this shit is just not acceptable. The putas wouldn't think to pull this shit on a brasilero so don't let them play it on you. If a garota goes mental in a restaurant or club or just on the street, your choices range from walking away to having her executed. Somewhere in between but not including paying one-half of a centavo to her for any reason is the goal.

If you do have a run-in with a cop, remember to not speak Portuguese and to not pay them money if asked. Be as dumb as you can. If a garota is on the street screaming murder and the cops show up, it's because they are working with her on a scam. You don't know Brasil and you don't know the garota, so why would you go down to the street?

Personally, instead of walking away I would be more likely to just tell security at whatever venue you're at to take care of the fucking situation, since, 1, it's not your fucking job to police the garotas and 2, you'll take your Reals elsewhere and never return, and the other 50 Americans they've seen you with there at one point in time or another.

Always remember the Big Eye - after a trip or two I have no doubt that every garcon and street vendor and scam artist in Copa has seen you and most will vaguely remember you. If you've been around they won't tend to fuck with you. Newbies are on their own but as we've seen, if you give into one scam the rest of the scams will come to you very quickly since you're a known sucker. Hold your ground and stand up for yourself and you'll have a lot less problems down the road.

I recommend not paying the cops anything unless you are actually in the wrong; in this case your friend did nothing and actually the cops couldnt have done anything if he had called their bluff.

I have been stopped a couple of times at 'blitzs' on the road. In both cases the cops said I didnt have proper identification (I had my brazilian ID but no passport). The cop said I had to have my passport. I told him I had all the ID I needed and informed them they were not getting any money. In both cases the cops responded, 'we didnt ask for any money'. I said, "good, because there wont be any'. In both cases I just sat there waiting for a few minutes and they told me to leave.

In your friends case, I have heard stories of dishonest police pulling stuff like this, but I have never heard of dishonest police kicking in a tourist's door and robbing him. I could be wrong, but I just cant imagine they would do that.

As for Don and Ken, I cant speak for them but I think they would have done the same thing I would have: told the police nothing is owed to a prostitute for deciding NOT to fuck her. I would insist your buddy did nothing wrong and tell them there would be no money paid to anyone. Believe me, they would not have gotten any money, nor would the idiot prostitute.

I still like the idea of going to the gate and introducing yourself as a lawyer or a judge of the Untided States(have a business card in English and Portuguese). No matter what you did or didn't do, I think the conversation would of been over right then.
With this in mind, does anyone have a business card of a lawyer from Brazil you can scan and post. I would like to get all the words correct for my next trip.

Bluelight,

Really, really bad idea. That would get you nowhere in Brasil, except to show the cops that you're probably rich and therefor would make an excellent target for kidnapping.

If any of the regular Military Police start talking to you, just keep asking for the tourist police over and over and over and over.

Going down to the gate is foolish. Bragging that you are a bigshot is evern more so.

Those night doormen know dick, so they have no idea which apartment you are staying in, much less, your name and who you are renting from. The Police have better ways to extort money from tourists than going around banging on 30 different apartment doors at 3 AM.

I'll comment about garotas saying "so you have to pay me for my time". I got this on 2 occassions when I was a relative newbie and both times the garotas were hanging around TA solo, spoke flawless English, and were non-cariocas.

The one garota (from Brasilia) was probably the prettiest girls I've ever seen hanging at TA. She claimed older tourists would pay her anywhere from 200-500R just to hang out talking to her. Her english was better than most americans. I did take her back to my place for 250R, and to this day she was the absolute worst Rio fuck ever. After 15mins, I just wanted her to leave. I estimated I paid 200R for talking and what I would value the fuck at 50R.

The other garota was from Sao Paulo, asked 200R for all-night. Again, near perfect english and met her at TA. After a lackluster sexual performance, she got dressed and said she was going. Then demanded 400R which included "her time" spent having drinks. I gave her the agreed upon 200R and she started screaming bloody murder. I literally had to push her out the door. I slammed the door and ignored everything which followed.

For any newbies out there, my advice is 1.) Any GDP who is alone and speaks perfect I'd just avoid altogether 2.) The non-cariocas GDP (for me at least) seem to be problematic 3.) If you sense a problem, get her out immediately. Do not argue with her, don't negotiate, and don't answer the door once you get her out.

I get the impression nowadays that most girls around Help/TA/MP are all hardened-pro's (Piranhas). They are working the con from all angles, ripping tourists off with the taxis in front of Help, friends of some favela thugs and/or police.

If the cops were looking to make some easy money, perhaps he could have offered them cash to lock her ass up. That might have been worth $R300.

Mangaman, thats fucking funny! I never thought about that, ask the cops to throw her in jail for a few days until the end of your vacation. Unfortunately, since she is brasilian, they probably wont be able to lock her up on a bullshit charge, no matter how much you pay.

Thumper,

Even if they just took her down to the station and let her go, it would be worth it just to turn the tables on her. It would make a good Mastercard commercial: Drinks at Meia Pataca for you and your potential sex partner - $R35, gratuities to the local law enforcement officer, $R300. The look on the bitch's face as they cart her a** off to jail - priceless!

I think the reality is the cops get R$300 and free blowjobs, because about as far as they would get with the garota would be their car and/or a convenient side street where she could give some head and be on her way.

We're foreigners - we rank about as high as dogshit on the pecking order with Brasilian cops, money or not.

Thats a clear advantage she has over us. We can only offer them cash.

Excellent report, Thumper. I really appreciate your insights, you're one of the most knowledgeable Rio pros on this board. And you stimulated an interesting and informative discussion.

I tend to avoid Paulistas, especially if they speak decent English, since my experiences with them have been far less than the GFE I crave, and usually poor to middlin' as to sexual performance (but some of them ARE attractive!). Other non-Cariocas have been a mixed bag. And with many (but not all garotas)--the longer they are in the business, the harder they become,

GCL,

I was coming back from Barra with my gf and got stopped in one of the cop blitz's. We got searched, they looked through my wallet, saw at least 1000R, asked for my ID, gave them my license. They never asked for money, I was waiting, and told us to go. What I did find out was one of the cops asked my gf to come over to his car; when we were moving again in the taxi, she showed me that he gave her his phone number. I took it and threw it out the window.

Thats fucking funny Diversity, because the police here in NYC, do that shit all the time!!

The police are fucked up on ALL continents! The concept being: Don't do as I do, do as I say....

This is a most depressing posting. Don't pay the cops or the piranas. If you even suspect something is not cool, jump into a cab and get lost. Anyone who goes into Help must know the risks, Mea Peteca too!

I had a problem with a pirana and had to throw her out of the room (hotel)when she became violent. She called the police and they took me to the station to investigate. No one there spoke English so they took me to the tourist police (DEET). The were helpful and I believe they would have arrested her for assault, except for the fact that I was leaving that day. I would go with not answering the door if you have an apt.. However,every situation is different.

(Message edited by Liguyny on October 10, 2006)

Thanks for this Thumper. Very depressing report, but very important. I am going to Brazil over Easter by myself for the first time, and I had no idea this sort of scam happened. I would never have paid for "her time" even if she slapped me in the restaurant, but prevention is much better than cure. Solid808's suggestion is the best one I think. Just ask if they want money for talking, then say "ciao" if it isn't.

Incidentally, I have not seen many posts about the other places (clubs) in Rio like Barbella's etc. Surely there is a P4P scene in these places? And surely they are not as hardened as the ones in Help? I gather Brazilians don't even go to help because it is so touristy. Any light shed on this would be much appreciated.