Part Two

OK. Day by day account ain't gonna cut it. Too much writing and I am so far ahead of the events, so this will probably come out more organized if I just write about stuff.

The beach--I've been to the beach every day since I arrived (6 days now). Fantastic beaches, but Copacabana sucks. Too many people bother you about stupid things and I get tired of saying "nao obrigado." After awhile I just start ignoring people completely. Don't say anything at all, just ignore. That seems to work best. How many times do you have to say, "No thanks I don't want any jewelry today. I didn't want any jewelry ten minutes ago and I'm not likely to want any jewelry in ten minutes, either. If you look at my body, you'll see I'm not wearing any jewelry now and with a scowl on my face like I'm aiming at you, there's no way any women would want me, so I'm not going to need any jewelry for my enamoradas either because I'm just too fucking mean and don't have any girlfriends." It gets redundant saying that in Portuguese and it's much more efficient to just ignore them. So I truck my little ass down the beach aways, wearing my shitty flip flops, shitty t-shirt, shitty hat, very little money in pocket, no cell, no camera and head to Ipanema, just a short walk down Avenida Atlantica.

As I walk, I notice how many beautiful black women there are here, very dark skin, but beautiful, beautiful bodies. I've never been very interested in black women, but man, there are some stunners here. Might have to explore that a little as a favor to myself. I keep walking and pass Posto 8, which a garota had told me is a good place for Americanos because the police presence there is high. She was right. Police presence is high there, but I've never really been comfortable around police (one of my best buds in the states is a cop!) so I keep moving down past Posto 9. Plunk my ass down next to some garotas and head for the water. Cold, but really refreshing. Nice waves crashing in. I start talking to the garotas, buy them all a beer, and we're chatting amicably, flirting, getting along famously. then along comes this Rastafarian character selling jewelry, loaded with tattos, dreadlocked out. For some reason, he's irritated by the fact that I am talking to these women. He plunks his little jewelry display stand down on the sand right between me and the girls, thus making it impossible for me to talk to them any more. I'm thinking, what, does this dude want to fight me or something? I haven't got an aggressive bone in my body, but he clearly had something against me. Maybe I reminded him of somebody else. Not sure. So I just sit there awhile, sequestered away from the group by his jewelry stand, sipping my coke. Finish my coke, get up, take another swim, come back, start chatting with the garotas again, from a different spot, and he comes and stands between me and the 3 mulheres. So I just get up and walk away. One of the garotas comes running down the beach after me and says thank you for the cervezas and she's sorry about that guy's behavior. I think she explained what it was all about but I didn't understand her and just wanted to keep walking. Very bizarre, if you ask me. Maybe somehow this little Americano was a threat to his Rastafarian harem or something. I thought those guys were all about love and peace.

Overall, the beach experience has been nice every day. I love that bench with the statue of the author sitting on it, with a quote that says something like "Never has a city been so defined by it's beaches." Beautiful beaches, beautiful women everywhere. Even men with physiques that I envied. Beautiful bodies all over the place. Copa not so fun, Ipanema much more relaxing, beautiful, and bigger beaches. I even met "the Girl from Ipanema" and I asked her for her phone number, and as she gave it to me she reminded me that for an extra 200 reales I could have her friend join us for a dupla.

Termas--My first venture into a termas was to visit Luomo. I hopped on this site, found UWPhoto's list (what a FANTASTIC compilation that cheat sheet is!), found the website, got the map, and walked over there. Good location, right near the metro station. Very interesting to me that there is a church located just behind Luomo in the same shopping mall. Also very interesting to my American sensibilities that it would be located in a mall at all. Second floor, up the escalators, outside edge of the shopping mall. I liked Luomo a lot. All the prices were very clearly explained to me, in English, at the front desk. Twice I came back to the front desk with questions and they answered them to my satisfaction. I thought the front desk chick was kinda hot and wanted to ask her if she was available for a session, but restrained my tongue. Get a key, key goes to a locker. Your shit goes in the locker, get a robe, get naked, put the robe on. The locker key is how you will be billed. Everything is computerized so anything you do that costs money--a massage, a girl, a room, a drink, etc. will all come out in a nice itemized bill at the front reception desk, billed to your locker key number. Pay when you leave. Some parts can be paid in cash, some by credit (I'm all cash so irrelevant to me).

There are lots of different doors everywhere, all confusing to me. There are also signs, but I didn't notice any signs at all the first time. So I make my way into the locker room. The chick there helps me get situated. I lay R5 on her and she's appreciative. I get changed, she takes me to the shower room and sauna room. I take a shower and when I'm done, I already lost my key. No fucking clue where I left it. So I go back to the locker room chick, she walks around with me (5R paying off here) and she finds my key. She puts it on my wrist and laughs at me and gives me a look that says 'you poor dumbass American. No wonder you get taken so easily.' I lost that key two more times that night. And that chick helped me find it each time. When my bill was added up at the end, there were no extra charges, i.e. nobody charged something on my room key.

I'm in my robe and go out to the bar, freshly showered, feeling good, and smoking a little tiny cigar. I order a drink, give my key number, turn around and am stunned by the very first chick I look at (first one!) Her face is so beautiful it almost knocks me over. I plunk my little ass down right next to her. Her name is Jessica, and she's a tall and slender morena with short hair and has an attitude of not too interested in me, but I can sit down if I like. I do, and I buy her and her friend a drink. She didn't ask, I offered. She takes my key, goes to the bar, so I get to see her body as she walks to the bar (fantastic! too tall for me but who cares?). Her body is different from almost every girl in there, and through conversation I gather she is very shy about her body and doesn't think it that attractive, and that Brasileiros don't really think she's all that hot, either. Nice bunda for me, but not typical. Small tits, but I loved them. And a smile that hit me clear down to my toes. So she buys drinks for her and her friend, I'm drinking water. And just like you guys wrote about on this site time and time again, Red Bull (expensive) and top-shelf liquor (expensive). Made me laugh. I have the itemized bill right here. I pissed them off when I kept it. Agua Mineral--4R. Johnnie Walker Black--18R. Red Bull--14R. So that one round of drinks set me back 68R, 4R for my water, 64R for their RedBull and JW Black. Somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 US dollars. Bend over buddy. But I wasn't to know the extent of it until later. I have to say, however, that I knew what was going on from reading this site. It wasn't that much of a surprise how expensive it was. You guys had warned me. I had plenty of money and had come to spend it. And on a US scale, not really that expensive. But to those of you reading this, be careful, because it adds up quick.

Numerous drinks for her and her friend later, I ask Jessica to kiss me. She gives me probably the most erotic kiss I've ever had. I consider myself an expert on kissing and this chick could kiss. Just that right mix of softness and agressiveness that I love. Not too wet, not too dry. Not too much tongue, and delicate tongue it was. Mr. Bojangles responded immediately and popped right out of my robe and I didn't care (normally I would) but I didn't want to interfere with this moment. Sorry if you were one of the guys sitting across from me and had to witness Mr. Bojangles dancing. But if you saw that kiss I know you'll understand.

Off to the room for some fun and frolic. Itemized bill right here--270R for an hour in the small suite. Jessica was very enthusiastic and energetic, catering to my every whim. I was enthused more than usual because I find her so fantastically gorgeous. And the way she would stop sucking my cock and pause, look up at me and smile, with those beautiful pouty lips and ablsolutely gorgeous eyes, making my heart go thump, thump, thump. Got one off pretty quick, rested, talked, played touchy-feely, got going again, got another one off, then a little oral on my part (great response!), then started working on the third one. The phone rings. Hour's up! She answers, says OK, then goes to work on me like nobody's business. I'm loving it but can't come (old man, you see), but she didn't give up. She kept at it and took me to another wonderful finish. And the phone rings again! She says to me "rapido." And I watch her gather her stuff and think, "Damn I like that girl." Chick worked hard to make sure I had some fantastic sex. She was persistent and never tired out. And I was extremely happy.
Face--10. Body 9. Personality--7. Oral 8. Enthusiasm--10. Steal-my-heart-by-trying-to-please-me factor--10. Back out to the bar, more drinks for Jessica and her friend and another drink for a chick who asked me to buy her one. On exit, whole bill came to 551R. Ouch! The people at Luomo didn't know it, and neither did I, but I was within 50R of running out of money. Not sure what I would have done because I had no passport and nothing of value on me to vouch for the fact that I'd go get some money and come back and pay. What do they do in a case like that? Take you out back and beat you up? Drive you to your house? What? Anyway, it was kind of a close money call and I learned a lot.

I learned how quick those drinks can jack the bill up. I learned that at any time I can go to the front desk and ask where my bill is currently at. I learned that I should say no to some chick who asks me to buy her a drink. I learned I'm unlikely to go broke drinking water. Would I go back to Jessica again? Hell yes, already did, 2 days later. Only difference being we only went 2 times, not 3 (my choice, she was up for a 3rd). Overall, I'd rate my Luomo experience as a 9. I had a great time. How would I rate the chicks? I am not qualified to answer, because I was instantly enchanted by the first chick I saw because she had so much of everything I like. So I really didn't pay that much attention to the rest of the girls. I know what I like and I like it, and I saw it 2 seconds after walking in the bar area. And it was so good that I took the same girl again last night. And she was just as good. There were plenty of hotties in there, and a couple of superhotties last night, but none hot enough as of yet to get my eye off of Jessica.

I've also been to 4 x 4, Cuatro por Cuatro, located downtown (Centro), which was only a quick hop on the Metro to get there. The Metro is in the same place as Luomo, more or less. A quick stroll to Rua Siqueira Campos. Hop off at Uruguiana Station, stroll east on Avenida Presidente Vargas toward the water and the cathedral. Maybe one of the guys on this site can give better landmarks than these). It's on one of the tangle of little tiny streets there, Rua Buenos Aires 44. Well worth the trip. Same as before at Luomo, except prices are less. 170R for a chick and a room for an hour, and your room fee is waived before 6pm. My water was 4R. I got there about 3:30. Great selection of girls. Three sips of my water and I'm making out, three fondles of my dick and I'm heading for a room. This chick is promising me the world, but doesn't deliver, not even close. I cannot remember her name, but she's not one of the most beautiful ones there. Little big in the ass, small tits. Blonde (blondes are always no good. How come?). I learned a lesson here. I choose the girl from now on, the girl isn't gonna choose me. I let her persuade me to take her and I ain't gonna do that again. Like I said about Luomo, I know what I like and I like what I like and this chick had none of the things I like. Dumbass me. I thought I learned all this stuff back in elementary school. Oh well. Sex not that great. Only got off once in an hour. I was very disappointed. When I was complaining about this she said it was cheap here and I explained that I had been to Luomo and it was more expensive, but the chick popped me off 3x in an hour. The 4x4 chick knew I wasn't happy. I said I was out of there and just walked out into the bar area again.

While I'm standing around (I need to, as I had just finished with a garota), I begin noticing something interesting. Here I am, surrounded by babe after babe, all interested in doing nothing more than fucking my brains out for 170R an hour. And man did I get picky. This ones too fat in the ass, this one is pigeon-toed. This one's neck is too long, this one doesn't smile very nice. Put any one of these chicks out on any street in any place in the world and have them ask me if I'd like to fuck 'em, I'd instantly, without hesitation say "hell yes," but put me here in this bar, and there's gonna be no other charge than 170R for frolic and fantasy and I get super-particular. I felt burned by the first chick, and this time I'm gonna make sure it's what I want. The other thing is, it's so unlike any titty bars in the States because in the States, the dancers have attitude out the yinyang. If you ain't shelling out the bread, you won't get the time of day. But here in 4x4, where the hotties outnumber the men 4 to 1, the tables are reversed. "I can fuck any one of you I want, and no matter who you are or how hot you think you are, there are lots of hotties here so you better not hit me with attitude, or you won't be the one." It was a nice change of pace for me and I enjoyed my wait enormously. Besides, my batteries were recharging anyway.

I stood around about an hour and a half or so, then picked out this spinner with very dark skin named Barbara. Barbara popped me twice in an hour, and she was pretty good, tight body, the kind I like, tiny ass, which I love. She was friendly, gave adequate head, and I was generally pleased with the outcome. So I got in my requisite 3 shots, paid the bill (about 360R, WAY cheaper than Luomo and I had 2 different girls!), caught a cab and went back to the apartment.

OK, that's a lot of writing and I'm tired of it and the beach is calling my name.

Great story.......Keep it coming...I am wondering if your gona get the girl from Luomo to come back to your place?

Stump - Great Report

I'm a newbie going down in two weeks. You mentioned "UWPhoto's list" in your report. I've looked all over and cannont find it. Where is it?

Thanks

https://www.clubhombre.com/countries/southamerica/brazil/riocheatsheet-12-2003.pdf

The worst thing you can do is lose your key. Glad you found it without an incident ... multiple times. Tie it to your dick next time.

Thanks for writing.