Maybe the street noise wasn't bad yesterday because it was Sunday, but the horns got me up by 7:15 today.
I watched TV in the morning, planning to hit Relax y Vida before my lunch appointment. It seems that Latin American countries have an obsession with "I Dream of Jeanie." It appears to be always on in Spanish on one channel or another. Me, I can't get enough of hearing Dr. Bellows say, "he's done it to me again!" in any language.
I left at 9:45 and headed to Relax y Vida. They open at 10:00.
I went to the original location. There's another branch on Avenue Canada, and I hope to hit it later in the week, but after yesterday's disappointment, I wanted to go somewhere that I know will leave me with a smile on my face. Besides, I left my watch there last June.
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Relax y Vida rocks! I've probably been there ten times over the last three years and sessioned with seven different girls that I can remember. My worst session there has been Very Good.
Banos Turcos Relax y Vida
Carlos Villaran #121, Santa Catalina
265-5370
Open daily from 10:00 AM until 10:00 PM
http://www.geocities.com/relax_y_vida
There have been taxi drivers that did not know the street name, and I usually just ask them to take me to the new, big Interbank building in Santa Catalina. That usually works, and here's a picture of the Interbank building. If you can get taken there, just turn around, look just a little to the right, and you're staring at R y V.
I enter, and there's (yet another) new woman behind the counter. She asks me if I am new there, and I tell her no, and accuse her of being new. She agrees that he is a new employee as the 'old' new woman enters (Margaret - the 30ish, tall, thin, pretty one) and recognizes me. We chat a bit while the girls come into the lobby.
There are only two available when I get there, one I have sessioned with (Fernanda) and Claudia. I pick Claudia.
She's either 23 or 24 (I don't remember what she told me) and a little bigger than your average R y V girl. Not fat, just taller and proportionately bigger. She's real friendly and speaks just a little English. Claudia goes upstairs to set up her music and soaps and whatever, and then comes and gets me for my hour and 20 minutes of royal treatment.
I can think of no other way to describe it: It is as if these girls were sitting around their entire lives waiting for you to show up so that she can treat you like a king. Today was no different.
As she helps me out of my clothes, I am officially greeted with a long slow kiss. We start with a massage for about a half hour, which ends with her naked and giving me a grand ol' blow job. There's officially no sex at Relax y Vida, but I've broken the rule once and have heard of other, er, infractions. My personal rule there is to just keep my mouth shut and let the girl do whatever it is she wants with me. I haven't gone wrong with that plan yet.
Girl Friend Experience doesn't describe it - I have never had a girlfriend treat me that well. After my body stopped shaking, we went into the sauna where she cranks up the steam and - get this - exfoliates me before we head back into the tub for another extended make-out session.
The knock comes after more than an hour. Strangely, even though I am in paradise, I am never sad when the time is over. I have been treated perfectly, and I have no other needs - it's as basic as all that.
We get dressed, Claudia lets me take one photo, we kiss each other good bye, and she walks me downstairs. This is another picture that does not capture the girl's attractiveness.
Photos: Claudia 08 09
The total cost for all this opulence is 70 Soles for the hour ($21.88) plus the standard 50 Sol tip. I slightly overtip there, but compared to wanting to open my wallet and give them all my credit cards, an extra nine dollars won't kill me.
All of this was before noon! I headed back to Miraflores to meet ComputerGuy for lunch. We go the the Mercado in Surquillo, where we feast on a fish soup and ceviche (me) and rice and shrimp (ComputerGuy). My stuff was killer, and CG raved about his. The entire meal set us back an outrageous 21.5 Soles ($7.16).
I also picked up a few DVDs (how could I ever live without Jackass2?) and some supplies for Tuesday. I am having a bunch of guys over in the evening.
CG and I split up, making plans to get together at 7:30, probably to eat, gamble, and head over to Scarlets. I stop at the supermarket, and go back to the apartment to take a nap and catch another episode of I Dream of Jeannie.
The evening rolls around, and CG and I start it at the Marriott. We dick around for about an hour, me winning $1 and CG bringing them to their knees to the tune of $6.
Cleaning out the house was getting old, so we grabbed a Taxi and went to Asia de Cuba in San Isidro.
Asia De Cuba
Av. Conquistadores 780, San Isidro
222-4940
Monday-Saturday, after 7:00 PM
http://www.asiadecubaperu.com
As the name implies, the restaurant's theme is a mix of Asian and Latin cuisines. I had the Mariscos al Curry (seafood in curry sauce) as an appetizer, and the Tuna Tropicana as my main dish. Both were outstanding. CG was watching his waistline, so he only ordered the Lomo Saltado. He also raved about his meal. There's also sushi on the menu - it looked great as it was paraded past our table.
The total check, including beverages, tax and tip came to 138 Soles ($43.13). My only problem is that my list of great places to eat keeps getting longer, but I would repeat in a heartbeat.
Our next stop was Club Scarlets (http://www.clubscarlets.com/), all the way in the Los Olivos section of Lima. It's a far ride (We paid 20 Soles going and I paid 25 going home), but it is worth the investment in time. The place is a high-end strip club, with high-end girls, at local Peruvian prices. You can spend as little as $25 for a half hour with many of the girls (room included) or as much as $150 for an hour with one of the superstars.
Admission was 25 Soles (just under $8). Mondays are slow, so only one of the show rooms was open. There were probably 40 girls on site, and 30 of them could easily be described as anywhere from very pretty to outstanding. There was a constant stream of strippers doing 2-song sets (first clothed, and the second ending up nude). Some of the dancers were drop dead gorgeous.
After a while, CG hooked up with this one girl, and they went upstairs. Here's why he's a great guy: As he was leaving, I asked if he would be broken hearted if I didn't wait until 2:30 or 3:00 in the morning to leave with him, as I wasn't going to take a girl tonight. He thought for a second, and then said that he could get his own cab home. What a guy!
As I was getting ready to leave, one of the girls called me over and asked why I was alone, because after all, my friend went upstairs with someone. Liz was 19 years old, five foot nothing, and looked like she wouldn't move the dial on a scale. Oh yeah, and beautiful, too. We talked for a while, I bought her a $10 Pisco Sour, and held firm that I was going home.
Did I mention that she was beautiful? Despite what I was saying to her, I didn't seem to be leaving. I finally summoned up all the strength at my control, and said that I was going now, but did she have plans for Thursday in the daytime? Of course she didn't, and we exchanged phone numbers and I wrote out my address for her. We agreed that I would call her Thursday morning, and I will. But with these girls, who knows how it will turn out? I took one more deep breath, mentally kicked myself, and took a taxi home.
So let's see… an awesome time at Relax y Vida, two excellent meals, a non-losing day at the casino, and a possible date with a young beauty on Thursday. Not bad. Not bad at all.