THURSDAY, OCTOBER 19, 2006 - DAY 7

After going to sleep at 3:30 last night, the street traffic had me wide awake by 8:30. My body said sleep; my ears said get up. The ears won.

I caught up on work for a while, and popped over to the drug store to get some generic viagra. They're cheap (about $2) and available without a prescription. I just hope that I don't get the 'Rush L.' treatment on the way home.

When I got back home, I called (and woke up) Liz. She said that she would be happy to schlep half way across South America (she lives over by Scarlets) to see me and my money at 3:00. She also told me to call her at 2:00, so we will see. I took advantage of the free time to catch up on my notes and schedule a lunch trip with ComputerGuy.

Well, I got to his hotel and he tells me his stories from last night. They're good ones, but they're his stories. The wrap up of it is that he has a civilian date for tonight, and I wind up giving him my reservation to Astrid y Gaston for dinner. I hope he appreciates just how much that hurt me to do!

We do a quick run through the tourist crap area and pick up some gifts and then go back to Tanta for lunch. I was equally impressed the second time and CG enjoyed his meal, too.

I reconfirmed with Liz, and she claims that she will be at the apartment at 3:30. It's sounding better, but I will believe it when I see it. I hope she shows - I invested another shower in anticipation.

3:30 - no Liz. 4:00 - no Liz, voicemail. 4:30 - Gave up and left for El Romano. Even though I was blown off, I remained undaunted.

I had read about El Romano a while back; it was in Miraflores, by the ocean. For one reason or another, it had stayed on my to-do list.

I should have to-did when I had the chance. I rang the bell, and the security guy from next door walked over and told me that the operation had moved to Chorillos, and did I want the address? Uh, no thanks.

So now I'm a little daunted. I could go home and find an outcall. I could go home and find an incall. I could go to a banos turcos. Or I could go to Relax y Vida. Guess which one I picked?

When I get to R y V, all three house moms are glad to see me. The younger, attractive, thin one (Margaret??) feeds me some line about how her day is complete now that I'm there, all with a straight face. Now I understand how the girls are so good - training!

They tell me that many of the girls have reservations, but there are three or four available. After settling down with my drink and getting kisses from each of the available girls, I settled on Liz.

Liz told me that she was 22 (later, she 'fessed up to 25), 5'2 or 3", with curly brown hair and firm legs. Someone described her as a girl that looks like she would be working in your office, and that hits it on the head.

We go upstairs and what follows is the worst massage I have ever received in R y V. That was pretty much because we didn't have any time for any stinkin' massages. From the minute I sat down to start taking my clothes off, she was all over me like I was her boyfriend and had been out of town for a month. She gets us both nude fairly quickly, and re-fixes her lips on mine, while sitting in my lap and grinding away. She stops a bit to pay attention to my lower area, and finally asks me if I wanted to go into the sauna.

Things once again heated up in the sauna (sorry for the bad pun). The condom goes on, and she proceeds with a fine blow job. We stop after a bit, and she's back standing and leaning against me, asking, "Do I like it?"

*****THERE IS NO SEX AT RyV. THEREFORE THE FOLLOWING NEVER HAPPENED*****

I told her that I liked it, but I would like something more. She asked what, and I told her. She said that she is not allowed to do that there, and I assured her that I wouldn't tell. We made out some more, and when we came up for air, I asked her, "OK?" Her response was, "OK, but you shouldn't tell."

Anyway, she turns up the steam to further cloud the issue, and turns around (I'm sitting) and sits on top off me. We bounce around for a while and then I get her up and bent forward, holding against the wall. This goes on for a while, and what do you know - I'm really happy.

*****END OF DREAM SEQUENCE. THIS NEVER HAPPENED*****

After again making sure that the bosses don't find out, we head into the already running bathtub/Jacuzzi and soak and kiss like teenagers until we hear the knock. We shower quickly, and go back to the room to get dressed. I overtip her enormously, wanting to further encourage the behavior that, of course, never happened, and she gives me one more "Shhhh", and we go downstairs. I was still in post (non)-coital bliss, and I forgot to ask her for a photo.

The boss ladies all ask if I was happy, and I responded, "Of course, as ever." I took another few minutes to flirt with Margaret, and I was on my way back home to figure out where to go for dinner.

I had seen a listing for an Italian place in Miraflores called Il Postino. I did not recognize the street, so I called and asked. Trust me, that was a disaster. I figured that it was my Spanish that was balling up the system, so I took my map to the lobby and asked the security guy to talk to them. He had as much trouble getting directions out of her as I did, so I packed it in and headed to my next choice, the Antigua Trattatoria in Barranco.

Antigua Trattatoria
San Martin 201, Barranco
247-3443

Barranco is the next neighborhood along the beach to Miraflores, so the taxi fare only ran 5 Soles. San Martin is a main drag over there, so you should have no problem finding the place.

The inside of the restaurant is all old wood, and has a very nice feel. My waitress was beautiful; she caught me staring a couple of times and I think that she blushed.

I only ordered two main dishes here. I started with the gnocchi in a mushroom cream sauce. I was very impressed with it. My second dish was called Sancochado alla Italiana. The Sancochado was served in a crock with some broth. The soup was filled with different beefs, a sausage, and some chicken. I was given a side plate of vegetables to add to taste. Some of the meats were real tasty and the chicken was good, too. I didn't like the sausage all that much, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with it, either. It was a dish that I would try again, if I saw it in another restaurant.

There was an American couple at the next table. They spoke no Spanish, and were having a difficult time communicating their needs. They saw my Miami Hurricanes jacket and asked if I spoke English and could help them. I did what I could, which surprisingly, was plenty. We got to talking, and I was able to fill them in on the local customs (tipping, taxis, etc.). They had friends coming the next day, so they should have been OK for the rest of the night.

The price for twice as much food as I needed to order for dinner was 90 Soles ($28.13). I would both recommend this restaurant and eat there again.

After dinner, I taxied back to Miraflores where I bounced around the three casinos - Marriott, Casino Miraflores and Hacienda, managing to kill two and a half hours and lose $40. I figured that was enough for me and tomorrow was another day - sadly, only two left. I grabbed a cab back to the apartment, updated my notes, and went to sleep.

Well, it wasn't the best day that I've ever had in Lima, or anywhere for that matter. All my life, when I wind up waiting around for some girl (pro or non), it usually gets all screwy. But any day that involves a trip to Relax y Vida (especially with what *didn't* happen today) can't be all bad.

Is this Club Hombre or the Food Channel? I'm confused!

Hey, even us sex fiends gotta eat.

CH needs to be about more that body counts