Russia / FSU Update - Report 1

I arrived in Moscow on a Friday afternoon after a week in Europe so the jet lag was not too bad. It was my first trip to Russia so I was a little freaked out by the whole post Soviet thing. I had a window seat on my flight from Amsterdam and sat beside a couple of Russian guys who seemed to drink vodka all the way to Moscow. I slept the whole way because I was still reeling from partying all night in Amsterdam. But I digress.

Immigration and customs was the usual runaround that I had expected so I wasn't too bothered there. I speak passable Russian so that was a bit of a help getting through without too much hassle. The hotel had sent a car for me so the usual melee at the airport was pretty much avoided. But the ride to town from Sheremetyevo International Airport (SVO) on a Friday afternoon was a trip. I have never seen such a contrast between old and new cars in my life. Kind of a like Rio but even more pronounced. Crappy old Ladas and Volgas driving beside brand new S-Class Mercs and Porsche Cayenne Turbos. It was wild.

Unfortunately, I let our travel agent book the hotel and she selected the Sovietsky. Not that it was a bad hotel, but it was build by Stalin in the 50's to entertain leaders of Soviet Bloc countries. the saving grace was that it seemed to be a Russian Mafia hangout so it was REALLY safe and they didn't seem to care who you came and went with - so I had that going for me. I could tell it was going to be a good week when I got to my room because the couple having sex in the room next door were making so much noise I almost pissed myself laughing. But since I was there on business, I didn't have much time for play over the weekend but managed to see some of the sights like the Kremlin and Red Square.

NIGHT FLIGHT
An old buddy of mine lives in Moscow so I did not do any research before going with regard to mongering protocol. I was in his capable hands. In hindsight, it was great to have someone on the ground because I have met numerous guys since who had VERY expensive and disappointing experiences in Moscow. It was so nice to have the local knowledge. Like clockwork at 5:00 on Tuesday afternoon, my cell phone rings and it's my buddy Al calling to see what I have planned for the evening. He suggests that he come by my hotel at 8:00 PM and start the tour. From my hotel we took a quick cab ride down Tverskaya street and arrived at the legendary Night Flight. Al told me that if we ate dinner there then we could skip the stiff cover charge that they impose after 9:00 PM.

Normally, I don't eat at the same place I screw, but Al was in charge. For any of you who have been to Moscow and have not eaten at Night Flight, you don't know what you are missing. The whole establishment is run by Swedes (BTW - the code name for NF is "The Swedish Embassy") and the food is excellent. Easily the best food I had eaten in Moscow. And not bad prices when compared to NY. After some caviar, Caesar Salad and the juiciest reindeer steak you could imagine (plus ice cold vodka substituted for wine) I noticed a few stunning babes walk in and take a seat by themselves and order a salad or a bowl of soup. No one joined them; they just ate alone. And at about 9:10, there seemed to be a steady stream of even more 9’s and 10’s coming up the stairs and going to the ladies room. WTF? I gestured to Al. He laughed and said that I had just observed “the parade” or preview. It seems that the girls eating a very light dinner we coming to beat the hefty cover charge and get downstairs after 9:00 for free. Smart girls. I mean if you’re going to have to pay $30 to get in, you might as well get something for it. Gotta hand it to the Moscow girls for being $$$ wise. Oh, and the girls coming up and down to the stairs to the loo were checking out the fresh meat for the night. I guess they figure if you have enough scratch to drop $150 a head for dinner, you might be a decent bet for date. Al was taking his time with coffee and cognac but I was itching to get downstairs to check out the talent. He assured me that staying upstairs until 10:00 would be worth wait as he made eye contact with all of the best looking girl coming up the stairs. Well, old Al was right because as we migrated downstairs to the lounge, many (if not all) of the parade girls came by to say hello. Checking out the rest of the room, I could see that these certainly were the pick of the litter. Not to say that the others were not gorgeous, but these were exceptional in a sea of beauty. The first thing that struck me as I started chatting these girls up was the fact that they all spoke surprisingly good English. I headed to the bar to get a couple of beers and was immediately joined by Tanya. Now, this is not bullshit. This gal was mid 20’s, about 5’ 10” in heels with blonde hair and nicest hooters. She snuggles up to me and asks me how I like the girls in Moscow. So what else am I going to say except that they are most beautiful creatures I have every laid eyes on. So, yada yada yada so says she wants $500 to go back to my hotel room with me. Gaaack. Now since this is my first trip to Moscow I was a little taken aback. But after meeting a few more of these little minxes, I realize that this place is pretty much the most expensive in town. Al explained that he wanted me to see the high end before we went trolling for something a little more in our price range. Well, no shit Sherlock! Apparently, these girls are all professionals. And I don’t mean just hookers. Some are real live practicing doctors and lawyers. In Russia today, while capitalism is alive in well in some circles, the wages in the professional classes as not quite caught up to the rest of the western world. These gals are just responding to a demand and making a little extra on the side. Most of them come in only a few days a week but there are some who are regular. What is most surprising is the sheer quality of the girls. I have no idea what they were like in the sack, but boy are they nice to look at. The deal with management is that they pay the standard cover (unless they drop an equal amount upstairs) and they pay a little tribute if they walk out with a date. They only let girls in who are well dressed (no trash) and can speak English. At the door are some pretty mean looking characters to take their job of “Face Control” very seriously. But $500 is just a little too much for me at that time.

THE BOAR HOUSE
I think Al could tell that I was like a cat sitting outside a fish market so he suggested we change venue. We hopped in a pirate taxi and drove off headed for Doug and Marty’s Boar House (formerly Chesterfield’s) and affectionately referred to by local expats as the “Pg Pen”. Clearly on a whole different level from night flight, it was a mixed bag. We paid a $5 cover and walked on in. It was not even midnight and this place was jumping. There were ALL links of girls at this place and they all seemed to hunt in packs. The Russians kept to themselves as did the Nigerians, the Azeris (from Azerbaijan) the Ukrainians, and the other FSU girls from the “Stan’s (Uzbekistani, Turkmenistan, Kazakhstan, etc) who were the strangest of all because they all looked decidedly Asian, but they all spoke Russian. Talk about your culture clash. Al was pretty much set on the idea of bagging a white Russian so we eased on over to the tables just to the front of the bar towards the dance floor. Al explained that if you went to the bar and hung there you could expect to get attacked by all manner of girls competing for your business.
On the whole, the girls at the Pig Pen were not bad looking at all. Very few 5 and less and most were at least 7+. Again, the Moscow women dress REALLY well and have embraced the art of make-up. Forgot the stereotype of the dowdy Russian woman. The fat chicks were somewhere else tonight. It didn’t take long for us to get to know Natalya (Natasha) and her cousin Maria. Big surprise, Natasha was a law student looking to make some extra money to pay for a seminar that she was going to be taking in (where else) Los Angles at UCLA in August. I never did find out what Maria did during the day except that she was Natalya’s cousin and that she was visiting from out town and was from a small town near St. Petersburg. Of course it did not take long to get down to price and they both agreed to $150 for a one hour minimum. But the deal was that we had to take both because Natalya did not want to leave her cousin behind. Yeah, right.

My hotel was right along the way to Al’s apartment so we all jumped into a pirate taxi and headed up Tverskaya. BTW – Every private car in Moscow is potentially a taxi. If you are headed somewhere and want a ride, you just stand on the street and stick out your hand. Sure enough, within a couple of minutes a car will stop and ask where you are headed. If it’s on the way and you agree to a price, you get in and off you go. The joke is that you NEVER take a marked taxi because all of the official taxi drivers in Moscow are from the regions and don’t have a clue where they are going.

So we stopped at my hotel and Maria got out with me. We really had not discussed who was going home with whom so I just went with it. As we entered the hotel I was expecting a whole big thing from the doorman by I just nodded, said “Dobray Vecher” (good evening) and headed for the lift. Once in my room, I offered Maria a drink from the mini bar but she declined and asked if she could take a shower. Her English was quite good and I suppose that surprised me because she had not said much all evening. Clearly, she and her cousin were semi-pros and did not do this sort of thing too often. While they were not nearly of the caliber of the NF girls, they were fresh faced and lovely. They both lacked that “ridden hard” quality that you normally associate with a hardened pro. Mari came out wrapped in her towel and shyly crawled into bed removing the towel as she got in giving me only a passing glace at her body. I tossed my passport, wallet, laptop and cell phone into the in-room safe and told her I was going to hit the shower. When I came out she was channel surfing with the remote and asked if there was bottled water in the mini-bar. I brought her some and she took a long swig while I hopped into bed beside her. My head had not hit the pillow when she attacked me. The shy little thing from the Pig Pen had vanished and was replaced by a hot little fox. She immediately rammed her tongue down my throat and started rubbing her hot little twat up and down my leg. Talk about a pleasant surprise! (Since then, I have come to realize that was a rarity. Russian GDP don’t kiss on the mouth and they don’t like anal). I got her on her back and wanted to get a look at this little hottie. She had nice little tits and thick dark hair. Her skin was like milk it was so creamy and white – must be from not seeing the sun for several months at a time. I started kissing her little titties and worked my way down to her neatly shaved little landing strip. I think she must have decided I was giving her a hint because she was on top of me in no time and had my dick in her mouth. She gave me a very nice BBBJ that went on for 20 minutes. When I popped she didn’t back off until I was milked dry but then ran off to the bathroom to spit. Clearly not a swallower. She helped herself to my mouthwash and came back to bed with a sheepish little grin. I must have looked tired because she asked me if I was ready for sleep. I told her I wasn’t and asked if she was. “Noooooo”, she replied, “I’m not ready for sleep; I’m ready for sex”. Well, guess who came back to life upon hearing this? Mr. Johnson was ready for action. Anyhow, you can pretty much guess the rest. This little gal was tireless and seemed to have an endless supply of condoms or “preservative” as they are known in Russia. At one point, I was doing her from behind while she was holding on to the headboard, she was moaning so loud that it made me think of the first night I checked in and couple next door. Maria sounded just like the girl next door! The thought of it made me burst out in uncontrollable laughter and poor Maria must have had no idea what the hell I was laughing about because she stopped me in mid stroke and demanded to know what was so funny. I tried to explain but she just looked at me with a confused face - guess you had to be there

It was close to 4:00 AM when she asked me if I wanted her to stay until morning or if I wanted her to go. Since tomorrow was a full work day I thought better of another round of humping and told her she could go. She asked if I could give her 300 Rubles ($10) for cab fare back to Natalya’s house and I gave her another $20. It was worth it.

Two nights later, I met Al and some other American and Canadian expats at the Pyramid at the Pushkinskaya Metro Station. On a summer afternoon, this is truly one of the great places to sit, drink a beer and watch women. Because Moscow has so many really wide streets and crappy winters, they always incorporate these great tunnels around their Metro stations that are used for crossing the street. Even if you have no intention of catching the Metro, the entrance to the Metro is a great way to get across the street without getting yourself killed by a crazy Muscovite driver. The Pyramid is a group of bars that have a pretty large outdoor patio that is perfectly situated to get a wonderful view of the talent coming up the stairs. You can literally sit there for hours and lose count of the women that you most definitely want to screw. And during June when it stays light until 11:00 PM? – Forget about it. So after many, many beers and many, many women, we decided it was time to go for a bite to eat. Trying to branch out a little we ended up at yet another Swedish own restaurant called Scandinavia. I hear it’s owned by the same folks who own Night Flight – It wouldn’t surprise me because the food was excellent and they have a large outdoor eating area. But the scenery was not nearly the same as it was at NF so we ate up and decided it was time to introduce me to the legendary Safari Lodge.

SAFARI LODGE
First, I must tell you that I am breaking a sworn oath to keep this place a secret by telling you about it. Frankly, it’s what every titty bar in America wants to be – but can’t. From the street it does not look like much. In fact the upstairs is just a crappy little non-descript Russian BBQ place. But pay the $20 cover charge, check you coat and prepare to enter heaven. You walk down the stairs to a small bar and immediately see a sea of topless women all milling about and swaying to the music. There are low padded benches all along the walls with small stages in the middle where topless girls dance. But that’s not the attraction. In addition to the girls on stage are literally dozen of girls who are offering lap dances for 100 Rubles a song. That’s about $3.00!!!! and when the song ends, the girl gets up and moves to the left and other one plops down on your lap to take her place. And we’re not talking sit-on-your-hands type lap dance. In Russia they encourage you get right in there and feel the merchandise. When we arrived there was about 15 guys and 30+ girls so it was like being in a cat in a creamery. The only risk is running out of 100 ruble notes. But when you do run out of cash, there’s a Bankomat (ATM) right outside the front door. After being there a while I noticed that there were girls sitting around on the benches who were not dancers. These girls are the pros. They are clothed and will talk with you about arranging for either an offsite date or taking you up into one of the VIP rooms. Frankly, I wasn’t really interested that night because of all of the young flesh coming at me every 3 minutes or so. The one thing you don’t want to bother with at the SL is the Private Dance. Waste of Money. Sure you get to go into a private room and get the girl there for three dances but it’s not worth the 1000 rubles they want to charge you. Sure they take their bottoms off but they are quite skilled at repelling your advances towards their slit. Kind of silly really. What’s ironic is that some of the dancers will whisper in your ear and ask if you want sex with them upstairs. But the dancers are wonderful. Again, like most of Moscow, it’s an array of ethic backgrounds. Lots of White Russians, Ukrainians, and Belarusians as well as more exotic looking girls from the “Stans”. Great place with fabulous girls at reasonable prices. Both the pros and the amateur dancer will go home with you for a price but they owe the house a tribute which tends to bump the price up a bit.

Since then I have been to a few other strip bars in Moscow but none of them quite have the total package. Some of them are downright dangerous where they will rip you off and “lose” you credit card. I met 4 guys who went to “Platinum” one night and were presented with a bill for $1,800 for about 2 hours worth of table dances. They balked at the price and asked to speak with the manager. Well, they met the manager all right who was accompanied by the local police. Needless to say, these lads paid the bill and left quietly. For my money, it’s the SL. …….. just don’t tell anyone else. It’s the best kept secret in Moscow.

You are so lucky to have someone who knows the mongering scene there, when i went to Moscow i didnt, and only found the night flight club, and a lap dance club in st petersburgh, i went a couple of years back were the girls in the night flight was asking for $300, in Russia do they still take American dollars.

riokaje,,,, Enjoyed reading your report, but since I was born in Eastern Europe and
being a lot around eastern europeans, I have to say that I'am not to crazy about them Money Hungry Girls from them Balkans Bloc !!
( RUSSIA, Poland, Ukraine, Romania, Hungary, Chech, Bulgaria,
yes the girls are very good looking, dress well, most will speak some english if not good,
but most, not all, are Expensive !

sorry, made mistake on your name, Riojake !!!

Guys,

I forgot to mention a few things. At Night Flight, you are not required to pay an exit fee to get a girl out the door. The transaction is between you and her. At the Boar House, you not only have to pay an entry cover (about $5) but if you leave with a girl, you must pay the house an exit fee of about $30.
Enjoy,

Jake

Redbus - sorry I didn't see your question. The girls will take US Dollars but they seem to prefer Rubles. Which is ok because there are Bankomats (ATMs) everywhere. And the exchange rate seems to be pretty good too. Euros seems to be ok for them as well.

Jake

no problem jak, thanks for the info Red.

How would you rate mongering in Moscow ?
expensive ? or average ?
it looks by the prices these ladies are asking, I could stay here at home, and pay the same !!
and wouldnt have to travel halfway around the globe to get it.!!
30 to get in
150 for dinner
500 for the girl
glad you enjoyed your trip there, in Moscow !, but I still prefer ASIA, in terms of what I get back for my time and money..

Safari Lodge: really good.

Happy Monger,
You are 100% corect. It's damn expensive. I travel there on business so beggers can't be choosers when it comes to location. There are definitely cheaper ways to do it if you hang around the dance clubs. Those girls will go home with you for $150 US and some fo them are just as nice as the pros at Night Flight.

I have a trip planned to Rio in early March. Have not been there for 15 years so I'm anxious to see what has changed. Based on what I read on CH, it sounds like I'm in for a treat after Russia (price wise). Then I am back to Moscow in April. Talk about your comparitive shopping.

Jake.