Russian / FSU update
Moscow, Russia March 2006

This was now my 3rd trip to Moscow and I was starting to get the hang of things. My Russian had progressed to the point where I could make myself understood and catch a pirate taxi on my own. I contacted Al shortly after arriving and he suggested we start by having dinner at a place called The Real McCoy. This is highly recommended as a great watering hole and a place for some first class mongering. Like Rio, you can meet all sorts to girls who are “on the program” or DNP for “Devushka na programa”. Devushka of course being the Russian equivalent of Garota. These girls are everywhere. They are mostly between 18 and 35 and are dressed to the nines with western style hair and makeup. There’s a joke in Europe. Question: Where do you find the best looking Russian girls? Answer: Paris. Of course that’s not true, but after one trip to Moscow, you will see why someone said it. Most of the girls you see out in public after dark are very good looking and love to party. As I may have mentioned in one of my other posts, these girls are not as overtly horny as the ones in Brazil, but there is a smoldering sensuality that starts to ooze out as you get them talking or dancing.

Remember when you were in your early 20’s and the best path to casual sex was cheap wine and a dance floor? Well it’s the same thing in Russia – but with a twist. It’s not uncommon to be at the Real MCoy drinking at the bar and enjoying the music when a couple of Devushkas (girls) jump up on the bar, pull off their shirts and start dancing. And that’s a good thing. Spend a little time at the dance clubs and you will get laid. You might not even have to spend any of your hard earned cash. The definitive listing of hot spots in Moscow can be found at
http://www.exile.ru/club_guide/ . Trust me - this is the source.

Remembering my last trip to Moscow, I was determined not to have another close encounter with the “Gandy Girl”, so I took things pretty easy the fist night. It was only Tuesday and there was some pretty promising talent at the McCoy. I spent some time chatting up Elizaveta and Sasha (Sasha is the nick name for Alexandra) who both had to work the next day but we all agreed to meet up later in the week. Al and I caught a cab and headed over to the Safari Lodge. As always, the Safari Lodge did not disappoint. We paid the cover, checked our coats and headed downstairs into the pit. I’ve decided that Tuesday and Wednesday are the best nights for the SL. Not too many guys and lots of girls all eager to get to work. After a dozen or so lap dances (at R100 each or about $3.00) a blonde haired beauty from Kiev who spoke quite good English convinced me that a private dance would be worth it. Everyone says that the private dance is a waste of money but I threw caution to the wind and agreed to go. There was something about this little Ukrainian that appealed to my curiosity. The SL has three private rooms on the same level as the main lounge. They are just separate rooms with locking doors and padded couches (no shower, etc). They sit your down, take your money and lock the door. Normally, it’s just a lap dance with no bottoms but I offered Tatiana a bonus if she was willing to consider a little oral action. She was quite indignant and told me that she was not a prostitute but an artist. Yeah – right. Who are we kidding? She changed her tune pretty quickly when I offered her another $50. She asked if I had a condom and I told her no. She didn’t want to blow me without one but I told her that once I left the room I was going home because I was beat so she needed to make up her mind. She muttered something under her breath in Russian and went to work. Clearly capitalism has taken hold in Russia. It wasn’t the best BBBJ I ever had but certainly not the worst. I don’t think she was normally a shallower but I think she realized in mi-eruption that there was no toilet or sink in the room so she swallowed the protein shake (so to speak).

Like I said – the Safari Lodge never fails to disappoint.

A few nights later, we met up with some guys after work at a great bar called the John Bull Pub. It’s popular with expats so a lot of the Devushkas on the program (DNP) hang around trolling for dates depending on which night and the time of year. Don’t ask me why but the guys tell me it runs hot and cold.

Now, just a note about Happy Hour. Just like a lot of cities in South America, Moscow was never designed to handle a whole lot of traffic. Despite a few grand boulevards, the streets are narrow and grid lock during rush hour is normal. Your best bet is to learn to use the Metro. It’s a little tricky because the letters are all in Cyrillic, but it’s the most efficient way to travel during the week between 5:00 PM and 7:00 PM. There’s a lot about Moscow that clearly does not work. But the Metro is something that works very well.

I was determined to hook up with Elizaveta or Sasha (or maybe both) so I convinced one the other guys that we needed to make a move to the Real McCoy. We got there about 9:00 PM and the place was filling up. Being Thursday night, there was plenty of talent and the dance floor was packed. Plenty of girls all dancing together (always a good sign). I scouted the place looking for the E&S but I couldn’t see them anywhere. By 10:00 PM the jet lag was kicking in and I was getting sleepy. I decided that I needed a sure thing so I went to the coat check and headed for the door. I almost reversed my decision when I saw a could of horny babes on the dance floor lift their shirts and strt rubbing tits, but I kept to my plan and went outside, flagged down a pirate taxi and headed on down to the SL.

While it was busier than Tuesday night, the crowd at SL still wasn’t bad. I stood at the bar for a while because I couldn’t see a place to sit on the padded bench that runs along the perimeter of the room. I wasn’t getting a lap dance but it gave me a chance to scope out the room. After a couple of minutes of checking out the action, I was accosted by the “dynamic duo” – Al called them Anna Banana and Big Irina. Actually, their names were Marina and Irina. Sounds like tag team wrestlers. Marina is a 5’2” brunette while Marina is more like 5’8” with blonde hair . They are both from Ukraine and are gorgeous. Irina had this studded bustier on that I could not take my eyes off of. A lot of the Russian girls have small tits and are quite petite but I noticed that many of the Ukrainian girls were decidedly more voluptuous. We got to talking about how much fun it would be to have a three way and pretty soon Marina was grabbing my crotch and negotiating a deal. We had pretty much agreed to $500 for both of them to come back to my hotel for the whole night when they told me that they wanted me to pay at the SL in cash before we left. I suppose this made sense as the SL needed to get their cut before the girls left the premises. Most of my cash was back at the safe in the hotel so we reached a bit of an impasse. I had $200 in my pocket and wasn’t about to go to the ATM for more rubles so I put the brakes on the transaction. Marina and Irina lost interest pretty quickly and went on to another target. That’s too bad because I think that could have been a wild night with those two.

A whole group of Asian guys got up and left about midnight so I saw an opening in the corner and got into the rotation (the SL is basically like a musical chairs lap dance). One of the clothed pros came over and started to chat while I groped the tits of another girl who was straddling my lap. Talk about decadence. Her name was Elena and she said that she noticed me negotiation with Marina & Irina and wanted to know why I didn’t close the deal. Her English wasn’t good at all but I think I was able to communicate the gist of the issue in my rudimentary Russian and I think she understood because she told me that she would be happy to take me upstairs for $100 for a hour and rock my world. I had heard of the back room (referred to as the Dacha) and was eager to know what was up there. I gave her the $100 and she told me to wait while she went to see if the room was ready. There’s always a moment of doubt when you hand over the money and a girl walks away, but my doubt was erased when she returned and led me upstairs. We grabbed our drinks and went out a side door, up some stairs, outside to a small courtyard (which was bloody cold considering it was March) and up another set of stairs. We got to the room and a cleaning lady was just putting the finishing touches on the place. She was grinning from ear to ear and said something in Russian that I didn’t understand. We went inside and Elena locked the door. The room had a nice double bed, a shower, toilet and a sauna. Elena showered while I undressed and I hit the shower as well. Elena was also from Ukraine (notice the pattern?) and had dirty blonde hair, a trim body and nice C-cup tits. I laid down and she started with a slow deep back massage. This girl had magic hands. While she worked on my back she straddled one leg and I could tell that she was getting aroused because she was getting wet. I flipped her on her back and did a little exploration with my hand to see if she was really into it or not – she was wet alright. I rubbed her clit with my thumb and slowly reached deep inside to see if I could find her G-spot.

Side Bar – Ask any Russian between the ages of 18 and 40 who Mickey Rourke is and 90% will respond with “9 1/2weeks”. That was one of the first western movies to come to Russia after Perestroika. Before that movie, mainstream sex in Russia was all about the “man-on-top-in-out-in-out-get-it-over-with-quick” method. 9 1/2 weeks opened Russian’s eyes to sex and has become a cult move ever since. A Russian acquaintance of mine swears that every girl he knows has a copy. Every Russian woman is looking for Mickey Rourke.

As soon as my index finger made contact with her G-spot Elena went into convulsions. If she was acting, then this was Oscar quality performance. I’m not sure if this was the first time she got this kind of stimulation or not, but she was clearly enjoying it. The Index finger – thumb combo was working and she was exploding. The effort paid off in spades because it was wild sex from then on (all covered). Even when the knock on the door came after one hour, she wanted to keep going – Davai, davai – she kept saying, “Come on, come on”. When we finally came out there was a hostile girl and her client standing outside the door with the cleaning lady still grinning from ear to ear. The Brit on the stairs said “Bloody hell mate, take it easy on the girl”. I laughed and offered to buy him a drink at the bar while the cleaning lady did her thing. My British friend went back upstairs when Elena returned. I bought her a cognac and she sat on the couch with a dazed look on her face. She may have been a pro – but she loves her work. I always feel great coming out of the Safari Lodge.

GERNERAL MOSCOW INFO
No visit to Moscow would be complete without a visit to Night Flight. As I explained in an earlier report, if the girls at NF are not the best looking in Moscow, they certainly are the most expensive. But the food is excellent and it’s always fun to run the gauntlet and troll for bargains. The girls are absolutely gorgeous (model quality) and all speak good English (and are supposedly drug free) but they also have a lot of attitude. I’ve talked to guys who have gone home with NF girls and they all say that the experience is worth it. But these gals start at $350 and go skyward from there. So if you have ever fantasized about fucking a runway model and have some dough in your pocket, then this is the place.

The hotels in Moscow are all over the map. There are fairly cheap Russian hotels that are pretty basic and clean, but lack any of the amenities of European or American hotels. You can get some great bargains for less than $100 a night, but you may not get a private bathroom and the staff will likely not speak much English. On the other end of the scale are the international level business hotels. Marriott, Hyatt, Sheraton, Radisson, and even Holiday Inn are represented. Heck, even a Courtyard Marriott recently opened. But these hotels can be expensive. The regular rack rate at one of these is $350 a night and up. However, there are bargains to be had if you look online at sites like Expedia.com, Hotels.com, etc. There are also some reasonable places at some of the smaller European chains like Novotel, but they are not always in the most convenient parts of town. It may sound silly, but Moscow is a lot like New York City in may ways. The hotels in the best part of town will cost you big time. There are a few hotels that are in the stratosphere like the Swisshotel, Balshug Kempinski, Metropol, and the Moscow Savoy. But I have heard of guys getting a bargain. But at those places, a simple breakfast will cost you $50. No kidding.

If you are on a strict budget or not on paid business expenses and are a little adventurous, you can always try renting a private apartment. There are several entrepreneurial Americans who have been living in Moscow for years have purchased apartments during the financial crisis and rent them out to foreigners at good rates. A popular one is Moscow Star Properties. http://www.moscow-star.com/ I have seen this place mentioned on CH and personally have met guys who have stayed there. All have come back with good reports. The rooms vary in price between $100 - $200 per night for a nice apartment. The thing you can avoid is paying the 18% VAT that you must pay on all other hotels. Ken accepts payment in advance on your credit card or personal check in US dollars to his office in Los Angeles. BTW – the exchange rate these days is about 30 Rubles to the US dollar. More or less.

Each hotel differs in its policy on girls in the hotel. Some, like the Sheraton, are crawling with very nice upscale hookers who camp out in the lobby and will slip up to you room quite openly. Others, like the 4 Marriotts (including the Courtyard), frown on all but the most discreet pros setting up shop in the hotel bars. Most hotels in Moscow are pretty open about bringing home female guests. If your guest leaves before dawn, you can expect a call from the front desk to make sure you are OK. And we all know why. Some of the more unscrupulous doormen will hassle the girls for a kick back when they leave but I hear that practice is tailing off.

I've heard that -- if you rent an apartment and bring a devushka with you, the "porteiro" might give you a hard time, in order to fish for a tip. Have you heard stories to this effect?

Soccer,
Absolutely and not at all. It depends on the Landlady or Dezhurnaya. A few years back they would stick their noses into your business and could make life miserable for you. Today, they have much less power than they used to. I do know that Ken's apartments are run by a manager who speaks English and is there to take care of you (no, not like that) by helping you to navigate day to day issues of getting by in Moscow. they will run interferrence for you and make sure yo don't get hassled. That kind of crap is being recognized as being bad for buisness.

Jake

Great reporting. Thanks for your perspective.