I’m still with Tequila Girl. She stopped doing the things that would have given me the stomach to tell her to push off. So things have gotten worse.

It’s morning in Boracay. I have taken Tequila Girl with me. The sex continues non-stop.

When I left off, I was dreading the drama and waterworks that were to ensue when I was going to give TG her walking papers. Well, she figured out on her own that I am not a knight and that I am going to leave her. Using the Patent Pending Pinay Wishful Thinking that only every Pinay prostitute has, she is on a mission to capture my heart. The only really annoying thing is that she thinks that her singing treaclely pop love songs to me is demonstrating how deep and abiding her love is and will “open my heart” to her.

She needed me to buy her some things for the trip (I did not mind) so an opportunity arose to redeem some shred of “monger decency” in my black soul. I hate shopping so I staked her and packed her off with instructions to meet me back at the hotel 4 hours later while I ran down the details on getting to Boracay. Buying the plane tickets and reserving accommodations took 45 minutes.

Afternoon in Club Rio. What a gloriously seedy dump. 2 fat cows immediately tried to attach themselves. I’m no newbie so while they were persistent, I fended them off and surveyed the “talent” as it were. There were about 4 other guys there so most of the selection was spoken for. There was one cutie but she was being monopolized and unavailable. I was getting ready to throw in the towel when a Gumby Girl came out. I like skinny and the face was not too scary. I bought her a drink and proceeded to molest her with her enthusiastic participation. 1100 Pisos to go upstairs. Damn inflation. The BJ was enthusiastic if more that a bit pedestrian. The box was wet and tight. She was compliant to more that one happy ending so I got my joy twice. Praise be to the Viagra. Don’t leave home without it. As I was leaving, the cutie called out for me to return the next day. I’ll make it a point to try.

Back at the hotel, Tequila Girl was showing me her new outfits and the costume changes led to the predictable. We then set off to BNE to arrange her absence. That night was more of the same same. She was excited to go and barely slept.

Next day

We had the hotel van drop us off at the Clark terminal and caught a SEAIR flight to Calican. Once there TG proved invaluable at navigating the chaos. We rode a “ferry” to Boracay and set up house. White Beach is a very romantic place to bring a date and you better BYOBarGirl. We settled in, did more boom2. We ended up in a real heart to heart discussion and while I was certain that this side trip was about to end poorly and prematurely, she has decided that she still loves me even though she laments that her heart is overruling her head. She continues to insist that I am “different”. Boom2 continues unabated. I have mastered my own personal Viagra dosing regimen. About 1/3 of a 100mg every two days gives me boner on demand. Busting a nut difficult but I don’t care. I DIG the sex. Never tell the girl. They universally resent that they are not the sole motivation and agent of your manifestation of arousal.

As this morning begins, we are planning a “three hour tour” with the Skipper and Gilligan. I look forward to 3 days in a stereotypical tropical island paradise.

Haha when they said you would lose the weight you would be a new guy, not a newbie!

I can't believe your body count is a whopping two. Your new wife and a upstairs tryst at a BJ when you made a sneakout.

BTW, What the fuck is this 1100 peso price tag for a one site ST. It used to cost 600 or 700. Hell I was discreetly dropping loads in girls' mouths in the naughty boy corner for three LD just two months ago? I really hope the new Fields' mentality hasn't hit one of the last remaining cheap raunchy havens of AC.

Back to you situation. Smitty your my buddy, but when you say you lost over hundred pounds you didn't tell us it was all in your balls. You are a vet and know you have welcomed a whole serial drama with a red carpet. This girl is an attractive tequila girl at Blue Nile, and you buying into her this is my first time to fall in love with a customer, and all the other BS. Around AC even the most dumpy bodied unnattractive no personality girls have atleast one or two serious foreigner boyfriends who are sending suppport and of course the only true love of the girl. An attractive Tequila girl as the nicest and hottest club in town is probably gonna have half a dozen real loves.

But now you are fucked and will have to slink around town trying to avoid being seen and have to fend off the never ending stream of SMS, miss calls, and etc. You may actually send her off after you get back to Clark. But I am willing to bet dollars to donuts that this girl will be keeping in contact and pestering you for the next couple of years! You are a real prize and and probably one of the best looking lottery tickets to come her way. You pay the BNE barfine everynight without flinching, you a sporting for shopping trips, while you use different words to say you're a butterfly everyone of your actions has said the opposite, and to cap it of you take her one on one to the holy grail of AC bargirl honeymoon's -- Boracay. Dude you are in so deep it's not even funny. Care to tell us how she likes her new Handphone? That and a return ticket to province are about all that's missing from you caricture of a TJ monger on his first trip to AC.

Whatever happened to simple trips to Subic with a car load of cuties willing to give the complete set of possible moresomes. And that was with a girl who truly dug you, understood you, appreciated who you are, and only wanted to make all your fantasies come true!

Anyway, enjoy the rest of your whirlwind romance. Be warned if on Feb. 19 we hop on the plane to Jakarta with your tequila girl in tow. You are on your own in J-town! I think Jakarta will be exactly what you need to sow your royal oats after this AC trip.

The names change but the story is always the same, isn't it.

Smit, listen to your buds here. You are now a mean, lean lovin machine and your minds gotta catch up and start thinking that way. Lose,lose the old way of thinking, of needing validation from GFE's. I've been eye witness to your GFE proclivities in both SEA and SA, and saw this one coming. The Phils, of all places, is especially unforgiving for a GFE misstep. I cite Smit's homepad motto: never teach a pig to sing, b/c it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

(Message edited by merlin on January 29, 2007)

MX

I accept your bitch-slapping as deserved. I SWEAR that TG will be NOWHERE in sight. She does not know that I'm returning one week after I take off and SHE WILL NOT.

In my own defence, staking her shopping trip was limmited to 3k pisos and NO CELLPHONES or return airfares to the province were purchased in the making of this trip report.

Yes, J-town is going to be good tonic.

Hey buddy,

I have to chime in here from China.

Your stated goal on this trip was to test out the attractiveness of your new body.

This aint gonna happen with a data set of ... wait for it... N = 2!!!

Get out there and fcuk more girls! If only for the data! Think of the data!

Otherwise, you will go back to LA and STILL not know the answers to your questions.

Smitty,

First off thanks for posting your trip reports. Wow you are gonna do the trans pacific flight again after only a week in the states. Wow again.

Shoot you want to give you new body and confidence a test run. You should hop on over to China for a week. A much more interesting challenge than AC; where sappy puppy love style GFE is the raison d'etre.

“...AC; where sappy puppy love style GFE is the raison d'etre”

Doncha know, MX, that sappy puppy love style GFE is SMITTY'S raison d'etre? He only SEEMS to complain about wallowing, what he means is that he’s happy as a pig wallowing in … (although he’s less piggy now).

Smitty’s no newbie, he does this because he likes it. And it’s his dime. Head count may be less important to some of us than to others (apparently, the most vocal others). And all that drama PROVES that she loves you. (Doesn't it?) Well, at least it embellishes and prolongs the fantasy. Which is exactly what (at least) some of us are buying.

And what's wrong with buying your GFE a ticket to visit her family in the province? (maybe a handphone is ill-advised, as it may be pawned the first time she runs out of money).