This is my trip Rio report, from my New Years Eve vacation. I know I am late as hell, but work has really been kicking me in the behind lately. I called this report the "Get On The Good Foot" trip, for 2 reasons. 1)James Brown passed away just a few days before I left for Brasil. 2) He was a close family friend! My father and James grew up together in Georgia and were life long buddies. "RIP Godfather! I miss you!!"


1) Welcome to Rio Gringo!! - Man oh man, the line to go thru immigration was ridiculous!! I think 3 planes came in at the same time, the line was thru the dividers, out the door and all the down the hallway. Some of my friends had a 2 and half hour wait, before they made it thru. (True to form, the Brazilians only had one fucking agent checking passports.) Also, I don't know what the issue is, but I would advise anyone to show up at the airport at least 3 hours before their flight time, when going home. The lines to leave Brazil were longer than the lines arriving, there must have been about 400 people in front of me.

2) Man Law # 3- Everyone who goes to Rio knows that Man Law Number 1 is "Fall in Lust, never Fall in Love with the GDPs!!" Number 2 "Never discuss the Internet!!" Well, Man Law # 3 should be, leave your countries practices/customs in your country, don't bring them to Brazil!! I was extremely pissed when I saw this American idiot up in 4X4, placing 10 & 20R tips in the gstrings of the girls who were dancing in the shows!! I wanted to slap a sleeper hold on him and drag his unconscious body out of the terma and leave him out on the corner. All it takes is a few assholes like him, to ruin for everyone! Next thing you know, all the girls will EXPECT that Americans should be tipping them. For anyone who thinks I am exaggerating, ask yourself one question. Where do you think the girls who work the desk in 4X4, got the idea, to start asking all Americans for tips when they check out?

3) Test Drive - I made the incredibly stupid mistake of buying new condoms for my monger trip, without testing them at home first. I was in the drug store looking for KY Liquid, when I saw a box of Trojan Ultra Thin condoms. I don't know what possessed me to purchase them, but I did, big mistake! They might be extra thin, but I think the material is tougher than Kevlar! After my 3rd day, I began losing my erections when I put them on, I just couldn't feel anything! It got so bad, I threw the remaining condoms in the garbage and went and bought the Brazilian ones (And we all know how horrible the Brazilian ones are)

4) Tattoos - What the fuck is the deal with all the tattoos of mongers names?!! I must have seen about 10 girls who were walking around with some monger's name tattooed on their body! Its bad enough that so many girls have 4-5 tattoos, but to get a monger's name added! It was cute at first because the girls were getting Henna tattoos, but I guess that wasn't good enough.

5) NYE in Rio - I had an absolute ball this trip, but I highly doubt if I will ever go back for NYE. Just too many guys (Especially Europeans) and it was waaaaaaaay too expensive for plane tickets and apartment rentals. Some nights in Help, it was like 7 - 1 guys to women!!!! There were lines in front of Help, with literally hundreds of guys with maybe 15 girls! Plus, I was highly anticipating that there would be all kinds of new garotas in town specifically for NYE and it never turned out that way. There were few new faces, but not enough to warrant the prices I had paid to be in town.

6) They like what? - One of my good female friends was complaining to me in Help that she needed to go out and buy a dildo. I was like "What for? You get laid all the time!" She said "Its not for me! Its for my Italian clients, they love that shit!!" I damn near pissed on myself from laughing so hard. She said all of her italian clients were asking her if she had a vibrator that she could use on them back in the room! She was upset because she didn't have one and she was losing money! She called over two of her freinds who confirmed what she said about the Italians (The next day she went to the sex shop and bought a huge black one)

She was also complaining that they were only offering her 100-150R. She said "Thumper, I am a 300R girl! They have euros but they dont want to pay!" I told her "What you need to do is go with two Italians at the same time. Then all you would have to do, is sit in the chair and yell out instructions, while they fuck each other!! In the morning they will give you 150R each and you could leave without having to do anything!" ( It was her turn to crack up laughing!)

7) Hotspot for Crime - Watch out for the street between Meia Pataca and Help, I think its Miguel Llemos. A number of mongers have been mugged at knife point, while they were heading to and from Help. The police havent done a damn thing to keep tourist safe, even though the muggings keep happening in the exact same spot. The thing thats sucks is that one day, the bandits will pick the wrong American to rob and he will end up beating the shit out of them. I betcha the police will show up within seconds if this happened!! They will arrest the American and throw him in jail for assaulting a Brasilian.

8) Penmanship - Now I know my handwriting is horrible (working with computers will do that to you, I dont think Ive written a letter in over 20 years) But some of these girls handwriting styles are even worse than mine. So many times the terma girls will give me thier email addresses and phone numbers and when I get back to apartment, I cant understand a damn thing on the paper. There have been times, when I couldnt even tell what number they had written! From now on, I will double check before I leave the establishment, to make sure I understand what is written.

9) Cost of Retirement? - Just for shits and giggles, I asked a few girls how much a monger would have to send every month, to keep her from working. Most of the responses, were between 3 - 7 thousand Reais a month!! I couldnt believe the prices they were quoting! When I mentioned that most brasilians can get by on less than a thousand reais a month, they said "Yeah, you can live on that amount if you live in the favela, but I dont want to live in a favela! I want my own apt/home" So any monger out there who is even considering doing this, I hope you have an extra 3 thousand bucks you can send every month to a girl, who may or may not stop working.

10) Those internet sites - Be carefull if you sign up for one of those introduction websites, be prepared for the fact that some of them may be working girls. A big red flag is if she states that she speaks Italian and English, its a sure sign of a GDP. Most girls list "store or student" for occupation, one girl had the nerve to put "Surgical Assistant". I went up to her in Help and said "What are you dong here so late? Don't you have surgery tomorrow?" She looked at me like a had 2 heads, while I was doubled over from laughing so hard. I explained to her that I had seen her profile on the Latin Euro website and was shocked that she had written that as an occupation, but i did give her points for originality.

11) Getting out of the game - I know a girl who worked Meia Pataca for the past 3 years and she told me that there is an American who wants to marry her. I know she is serious about marrying him because she even went home and kicked out her brasilian boyfriend. The newbie met her at Meia Pataca on his very first trip last year and it was love at first sight. He has returned to Brasil 5 times and he stays at her house his entire trip. She filled out the papers last month but she was nervous about the interview. She said she was scared that they might do a background check on her and see her name listed in all the hotels in Copa with various men and they will turn down her visa request. She was asking me for my advice but I had no idea what to tell her, I dont know if they do that intensive a check. Ive been with her a number of times and she is an excellant fuck, so at least this guy has that to look forward to. Unfortunately, he is from NY, so I dont know how well she is going to be able to deal with our cold winters.

12) Other side of Porn - Really special friend of mine called me in tears. She had just returned to Rio from a year in Spain and she was having family issues. Turns out her father found out about the four porn movies, she did 3 years ago (Little brothers and cyber cafes! A dangerous combination!!) Her father was so angry that he stopped talking to her (she is his only daughter so you can only imagine how hurt and upset he is) I never really thought about the personal lives of these girls before, to be honest, I never really cared. But after witnessing how thier lives are afected, I now have a new sensitivity towards the GDPs.

13) King Kong Sex - Ran into an old friend in front of Help, an absolutely gorgeous 20 year old garota. I first met her about a year and a half ago, its been a while since I've seen her, she has been missing in action for the past year. I was shocked to see her sitting in front of Help with her sister, I sat down with them and enjoyed a few drinks. After about 45 minutes, she leans over and starts making out with me, I whispered in her ear that we should head to my apartment. She wanted her sister to join us, but I told her I only wanted her for now. But, if her sister didn't pull a customer from Help, then she could come over later and spend the night with us.

We went back to my apartment around 11PM and proceeded to have super hardcore animal sex!! I mean we really went at it hard, I couldn't believe how horny this girl was making me! We only stopped once, to grab some water from the kitchen. Funny thing, she followed me out of the bedroom into the kitchen, after we drank some water, we started having sex all over the apartment! The stove, the couch, the dining room table, culminating with her hanging the top half of her body out of my window, while I was banging away (Both arms in a death lock around her waist)

Next thing I know, the phone to the apartment rang,(her sister didn't get a customer). I looked at the clock and it was 5:30AM!!! We had been fucking for over 6 hours!! I was like "Holy Shit!!" I couldn't believe that I could keep my dick hard for that long! I felt like King Kong in the scene after he fought the three T-Rexs. I wanted to stand in front of my window and beat on my chest and scream "I AM THE MAN!!!!" HaHaHa!!

Unfortunately, things kinda ended on a sad note. Her sister came in, took a shower and then went to bed and my girl joined me in the living room to talk. She explained that the reason why she had been MIA for so long, is because she is being sponsored. Turns out, I know her boyfriend! He is a really cool person, Ive known him for a couple of years and he is super nice guy!! (I cant give too many details about him or her, because there is a chance that he is a member of this site) He sends her alot of money every month so she doesn't have to work, plus he spends like 5 months a year in Rio.

I asked her why the hell is she still working if her boyfriend is sending her money? She stated that she loved her boyfriend, but she hated sitting at home doing nothing. I think the fact that she has 2 sisters "in the life" also puts alot of peer pressure on her to join them in their adventures. It then hit me that earlier, her and I were sitting in front of Help, making out! I asked her "Aren't you afraid that people will tell your boyfriend that not only were you in front of Help, but that you were kissing someone?" She responded "Claro Que Nao!! He loves me, 100 people could tell him that they saw me working, but he will always come and ask me. If I say its not true, he will believe me. He believes everything I tell him!" I felt really bad about the whole thing, because her boyfriend is a really great guy and he does alot for her and her kids. Unfortunately, I know that it wouldnt do any good for me to tell him the truth about his girlfriend. I know I will feel guilty as hell the next time I see him and he greets me with a big hug and smile.

14) APB - I was hoping that someone on the baord could help me out. I've been loking for this girl for a couple of years, but I have never seen her in Help, Meia Pataca, beach or any of the termas. I know she has to be in the area because she has done a number of movies and internet sites. I think her name is either Raquel or Paula. (She is the girl in the pic with long Dark brown hair. Right hand side)
I would appreciate if anyone can hit me with her contact info, PM me if you want.

A resounding YES on Man Law #3, termas are not strip clubs. If you like the girl in the show, in appreciation take her to a cabine, thats how she makes a living.
Nice trip report, thanks.
CG

Thanks Thumper another great report filled with astute observations.

Oh, and the consequence for violating Man Law #3 should be that other Americans in the terma should beat the tipper until his ass bleeds.

EA

Thanks for the update Thumper, always enjoy your reports, hope to buy you a brew sometime soon in Rio.

I too was in Rio for NYE. As a European I apologise for having the temerity to visit at the same time and cluttering up Copa when it should of course been left to you and your ilk. BTW the most I paid was R$100 and didn’t encounter the inflation and lack of talent you report.

I have a couple of comments re points 5) and 6). For someone who has frequently cried “racism” on this board you seem pretty keen to post rather "offensive" generalisations yourself. I wonder how you’d react if someone posted “Just too many guys (especially African-Americans)”. Would that be acceptable to you? Would that be a thing that would make you go Hmmm?

Also, you insinuate in your report that all Italian clients like a dildo up their ass which strikes me as being as silly as the Monte Carlo GDP who told me she doesn’t like sessioning with black guys as they only do “sexo selvagem”. This is not the first time it’s happened with you. Didn’t you previously post in a report that an Italian guy left a GDP because he couldn’t get it up and proceeded to fuck his buddy up the ass in the other room? It would appear from your posts that you have a rather xenophobic and derogatory attitude towards our Italian brethren.

Ardgneas, I wasnt writing my observations to be negative, I apologise if you were offended. Glad you were only spending 100R for your girls, you guys have all the buying power with the Euros and Pounds.

To be honest, I thought the girl was BSing me when she told me that story. I just kept laughing and laughing, because I thought she was trying to be funny. She kept repeating "I am serious, I am serious!!" When she saw that I still didnt believe her, she went and got 2 of her friends who confirmed her story. Both these girls work on the "European side of Help", so when they repeated what she said, I believed them. Me being racist towards Italians? You couldnt be further off base. Those guys know how to party, I find it hilarious when they all get together.

As far as the number of Europeans in Brasil, its true, they ruled Help during NYE, nothing racist about commenting on that. It was amazing to be standing in front of Help watching literally hundreds of guys going in and maybe 10 girls. I'm quite sure if you walked into Help and there were about 500 black guys and 6 white guys, you would more than likely, mention it!!

Thanks for the report and update Thumper. That shit in the termas is not cool. I swear if I ever see that going on, I will enforce and uphold the law to the fullest extent on the individual and make sure that he understands the precedence of the law. I'm returning in December, if your down there i'll buy you a drink on "our" side in Help.

Yeah...I was also in Rio on Xmas eve and NYE. It was trip number six for me, since 11/04. Although I had a great time, most of the time, I couldn't help but notice how disrespectful and arrogant the meninas were inside HELP during the holiday season. I remember on my first and second trips to HELP how friendly the girls behaved toward prospective customers, grabbing men on the butt and the crouch as they passed by. Not no more! That's past history, now buddy. As one of my L.A. buddies says, "Those sorry-ass American guys have gone down there and given them 'hoes too much self-esteem. That's why them b*tches don't do that no more." My L.A. friend has been going to Rio since the late '80s and he usually stays in one of the 5-star hotels on the strip. He told me when he first started going to Rio, the "programmers" didn't dress as well as they do nowadays and they didn't get their nails and hair done in beauty parlors. They primarily wore jeans and shorts and looked plain but beautiful.

Anyway, during Xmas/NYE the girls in HELP were asking for 300 reais and up and were not willing to negotiate below that...even as time moved closer to closing time! The girls stood firm on R$300. Usually after a certain time, say 3am and beyond, the girls who didn't get selected would drop their prices. Nope, not this time. Furthermore, the girls didn't expect to stay all night for what they were asking. It seemed they were only interested a quick turnaround. There were a couple of American guys standing outside HELP monitoring how soon the girls returned to HELP after leaving with a customer. One told me that the average turnaround time was 30-45 minutes! If the apartment was close or a few short blocks away from HELP, it might have been even less time.

There were several horror reports about HELP girls from guys I hung out with when I was there, but I won't go into them all at this time. I will share one, however: Be very aware of "Queen Lateefah" as me and my boys call her...her real name is Josie. She's a big girl with somewhat of a pretty face and likes to intimidate her customers into dealing only with her. She was thrown out of HELP (according to one of her tramatized customers), socked a policeman in the jaw, got maced, handcuffed, and taken to jail. She was out within an hour and a half because she reportedly knew a local judge. After her release from jail, she went to the former customer's (the one she tried to intimidate inside of HELP) apartment building at 6am and buzzed his apartment for at least 30 minutes until he finally gave in and came down to speak to her through the building's front security gate. According to him, her eyes were still red and runny from the police mace. She just wanted to "talk" to him, she said. He is an criminal attorney and he was very nervous about meeting with her. To this day, he is still haunted by her behavior in HELP on that particular night during the holidays.

HELP has really left a bad taste in my mouth, so to speak. So much so that I am dedicated to the termas from now on...hell, I may even consider going to the VM more often (or as me and my boys call it: "The Dirty-Dirty") rather than go into HELP! Also, HELP's management is allowing more and more transsexuals and transvestites into the club now...in the dark and dim lighting it's really hard to distinguish the real girls from the fake girls. HELP just has too much drama for me.

Can I get a witness?

Help is no longer worth the effort. The quality is poor, the service shitty, the prices high - both garotas and entry - and you run a petty-crime gauntlet coming and going. They can raze the place for all I care and put up a hot dog stand.

Rushen, I would be happy to take you up on that drink offer, no matter what side of Help we are on

(Message edited by Thumper on March 18, 2007)

Just out of curiosity silentwonder, is the girl in the middle of this picture the "queen lateefah" your talking about? In my trip report I wrote about a girl going crazy at that shitty MP festa I was at and I wonder if that is the same broad.

Photo: Josie & Friends

just for the record I did not sleep with that walrus and I got this pic from a friend.

(Message edited by rushen on March 19, 2007)

I think the girl SilentWonder was talking about, is the one with the hat on.

Yeah, she's the one wearing the hat. That's Queen Lateefah (Josie) all right! I believe the one in the middle may be her mother. Her mother is in the business too. Stay away from that Josie b*tch! That hoe is louco!

Hey look guys, I'm going to be in Rio from 04/06 thru 04/14/07. I'd like to hook up with y'all who might be there during the same time.

Deixe-me saber

Yeah, you guys are right that is her in the hat. If I recall I believe she said she was engaged to a brotha from Detroit too. I hope this wasn't true. Good advice anybody else that sees this broad LOOK OUT.

No disrespect to anyone but I also heard the italians are into that shit , hey whatever gets you off , no need to get offended I find humor in stereotypes , and alot of the time they hold true, on a side note , do people actually pay to fuck girls that look like those 2 on the right? the black one is ok but the other 2 can be had for free at almost any bar in the bronx , no need to travel 5000 miles.

Good report thumper

LarryDavid, you better be carefull. Any minute now, Ardgneas will come running in here, hysterically calling you a racist because of your observations!!

My programa at 4x4 was digging around in her cabine bag for some lidocane creme and she pulled an absolutly huge dildo out of the bag. I asked her who the hell she used that on and she said "Italianos e frances".

With that info we decided to name the dildo Guiseppi and she put it away in her bag, much to my relief.

Im not racist thump , If it feels good to them, go for it , it doesnt affect my lifestyle one bit,

brazil is becoming as bad as the US when it comes to politial correctness even though I think the word nigger has officially been banned in NY ,

I once called a girl a macaca at emporio in ipanema she wasnt black , maybe she was mixed but she looked like a monkey anyway and this was after she called me fat , she threatened to call the cops and I asked a cop friend and he said its technically illegal to call people monkeys , though he doubted you could be arrested for it but watch what you say

Good post Thumper, I was in Rio last month and yes Help is changing. I am seeing more and more black dudes on every trip, I am not saying it is a good or bad thing but there were ALOT of black guys.Hell, there is an area in the rear of Help that is 99% black.. I went to a Terma(Solarium) and 12 black guys walked in, and being Solarium is a small terma... well, they acted like typical americans,loud and crude... they had on long shorts under the robe with cap on sideways....As far as what you were saying about tiping going on... i saw it too in Solarium... talking about screwing things up !! the garotas were asking for r350-400 at Help.. I paid r200 which is alittle more than what i am used to. With the dollar tanking and Continental fucking us up the ass, I think I am going to look for another place to hobby.Rio is changing, UA's are paying way too much for the garden tools and I find myself doing 80% take out..Its really sad to see Rio changing, but not for the best in my opinion..There were guys paying r400 and leaving.. before the song was over I saw the same garota back in Help..

Well HotelAl, I wish I could see for myself but as you know, I can't get away from that damn beeotch stalker!

Hotelal, I know the area you are talking about, we call it the "black corner".

It might seem like there are alot of brothas in Brasil, but, truth be told, numerically, they are still a VERY small percentage of all mongers in Rio.

It appears like there are alot of brothas in the back corner, but you have to remember, that that is only one small section of Help. The whole rest of Help, is populated primarily by White American mongers, Europeans mongers with maybe a few Asian and Middle Eastern mongers, sprinkled in.

Overpaying: A buddy sent me this post that was on some other monger board.

" THANK YOU, HOUSTON

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the dude from Houston for sending R5000 per month to my current Brasilian "girlfriend". I thought at first he might be a cool dude with just to much cash, but after banging the said girl while she was actually talking to him on the phone, not once but 3 times, I am thinking maybe just a fool.

When are these guys going to learn. If you send cash to a girl and you leave her alone for anymore than 3 weeks at a time, she will be banging other guys. Even if she really, really, likes you, she will still be banging another dude or chic. The very qualities that we love in Brasilians, IE, they love to bang, is what is going to cause problems when you are not there. They just love to bang!

How much do I pay her for a bang? Answer: Nothing. She even stocked my fridge with Red Bull and Softdrink on his debit card. The bill was R62.35, theres a good clue for the guy if he is reading, I still have the receipt in the bottom of the bag.

Btw, I still do not know WTF a Brazilian girlfriend actually is. A Brasilian "fu*k buddy" is probably more appropriate than "nonmarada". "

Right on Vagabond. And that brings up another reason to not overpay - I don't like the garota thinking I'm a fool - which is what they do when you pay more than necessary.

I had an experience similar to your friend. In March 2002, I stayed 10 days with a very hot former Solarium girl (I hope she wasn't fired for failing her health tests!). I had met her in Solarium three months earlier. She invited me to come down and stay with her in her apartment for free, and I gave her nothing other than a few cheap drinks and meals. A few times she went through her emails from guys, some who were sending her money. When reading them, she laughed and said the guys were losers! That definitely made an impression on me. Right then I vowed that I wouldn't be one of those stupid guys sending money down (or overpaying for that matter).

I know what you mean Elgrancombo. That's about the worst they can think of you...that you're just another "fool". Then they think you are a "loser" as well and stupid. These guys don't realize that it is a different fucking culture (pun intended...lol) They actually think LESS of you if you pay MORE. They will never respect you. I've seen ungly dudes even get tons of mileage out of these chicks just because they are liked.

Damn... I will be in Rio from april 19th to the 24th. My hobby has been limited to CR for the last 12 years and have seen it change for the worse, to the point where I wasn't enjoying it anymore. That's why I decided to try Rio. And now I am reading all of these current opinion's about Help and I'm getting bummed out. Our plan was beach in the am, termas in the afternoon and Help in the night. Are there any suggestions to replace Help in the evening. Is the party over in Rio? Am I too late?

HELP is'nt bad...it has just changed. CR is no camparison! Your plan sounds like a good one...and you probably won't return to CR again.

I will be in CR next week and I'll come back here and do a comparison, then back in Rio next month.I am not trying to talk you out of Rio, but I guess I'm getting alittle tired of it.. expensive airfare and the dollar is 2.037 this morning. I have to tell you, it is by far a very good place to p4p, but it is starting to get expensive. I will be in CR next week (my 1st time). I'm sure it will be great..

(Message edited by hotelal on April 12, 2007)

Costa Rica is going to suck so much after being in Rio you won't know what to do with yourself.

CR might be nice to some, but after Rio it might be tough to enjoy the substandard service.You definitely need to lower your mongering expectations when you make that trip.

I went to that place 2 years ago and all it proved was that Rio was the place for me.

I am leaving tomorrow to CR, I'll let you all know how it goes.

Just back from CR.. had a great time. You can't compare with Rio, but I loved CR. The flight from Houston is 3 hrs and the ho's are 5-8 depending on your tastes.I will do a review later in the week with pics.