After joining Club Hombre and lurking for the last few weeks ... diligently seeking out any crumbs of knowledge the "gentleman of adventure" (monger) needs to enjoy the delights of Buenos Aires ... I've got to say that I fell flat, was taken for a mark, two falls out of three. If it hadn't been for some possibly-misplaced trust on the second day, it would have been "three strikes, yerrrrOUT!" for me in Bs. As.

I started with Moondog's well-prepared guide to the city ... thank you, sir, for a right scholarly piece of work. I'd already booked a hotel right in the center - my first innocent mistake - and thought I was ready to enjoy all the good.

I had booked the Gran Hotel Orly, on Paraguay between San Martin and Reconquista. It should be named the "Gran Hotel Oggly", as in "Mon, thees is one OGGLY hotel!" It was a pretentious flophouse, whose only saving grace was a high-pressure shower and a location around the block from the Cafe Orleans. I made the further mistake of not specifying "cama casal" - I wouldn't even consider bringing a 'two-peso puta' back to THIS place!

Oh, well. After a few hours trying to sleep and an afternoon of shopping, I armed myself with a few hundred pesos and started up toward The Triangle. And it was on that stroll that I made my first mistake - two doors up, at 484 Paraguay (or so), I was touted in to an upstairs "streap" club. Latched onto by a lovely, snuggly young thing and her less-lovely accomplice, I proceeded to hear the hands clapped three rounds - for a final price of A$40 for each of my two beers and A$70 for each girl drink. A$500!!!

Yeah, guys, they saw me coming for sure. All "legal and aboveboard," and nauseating as last week's garbage. I was truly "screwed without being kissed."

Well, after seething for a while, I decided that at least I could go out in search of dinner. It was about 8 PM, and I walked around the few blocks surrounding my hotel, looking for a good parrilada. That's where I was, well, "accosted" by Rolando, a "traveler's aide" to gentlemen-adventurers like us, who offered to take me to a good and reputable "private apartment" a few blocks away. "Una masaje, sexo, usted puede relax." Not now, I said, I need some dinner first.

After an excellent meal of excellent Argentine beef, though, I was feeling mellow and ... if I don't want to bring an "escort acompanante" back to the Oggly, why not a nice room with a naughty girl? Walked back to Reconquista esq. Paraguay, and there was Rolando. We walked up to Esmerelda, one block short of the Triangle, and thence toward Alvear to 1219 Esmerelda. The price was A$300 for an hour. I said "too much - how about an hour and a half?" Okay.

I don't remember the girl's name, and it's just as well. She was cute, tanned, slim and small-breasted, quite a delight for me to admire.
And she was skilled. But she wasn't into kissing at all; she was athletic and competing to bring me off in a hurry. Afterwards, she gave me a terribly clumsy backrub, and then told me I had to go ... after 1/2 hour.

Rolando was apparently shocked to see me. "No iva bien? Usted compri una hora y media!" He called the madam, who had a different reason for my brush-off from the girl. I had wanted to use my own condoms (Durex PleasureMax) instead of the house brand, and "Conchita" said I'd wanted her bareback.

Over a beer at the Ce Azul, Rolando told me how sorry he was for the experience. Prostitution, of course, is "illegal" in Argentina - which means the houses, the girls and the touts (like him) had to keep the police paid off. So things could go wrong - but he'd told the madam of 1219 Esmerelda that one more experience like that, he would never bring a client there again ... and meanwhile, if I came back to his corner the next afternoon before 1600, he would take me to a place where the girls would treat me right AND he would wait for me to make sure everything WAS right.

The fact that he would sit with me and talk so long, when he could be out drumming up business, suggested that he was sincere. I was noncommital at the time, but the next afternoon (after some LEGAL tourist activity) I decided to see. Yes, he was there, and we walked quite a bit further to 497 Montevideo, near the Obelisco, 7th floor.

The madam introduced two lovelies, one named Carolina who took my attention, and said to wait a few minutes to meet her others. Meanwhile, would I like a beer? So Rolando and I chatted further (!) over a 3/4 litre Pilsen, and in the promised time the other two girls came in for my appraisal. When I allowed as Carolina was my choice, she agreed but said she was with another customer, was I willing to wait?

Carolina was sweet. We shared small talk for a couple of minutes, then she started kissing me ... and her first DFK took all the bad taste of the previous night out of my mouth. She was well practiced in all the arts, but completely relaxed about it and willing to give me the best possible time. She acted quite pleased when I asked her to use my Durex PleasureMax gummies instead of the house brand. Surprised when I remained "standing" after my first orgasm ... but ready to go again, even though her slack nipples showed me she was just at work by this time. And still sweet and 'carinosa' when we, dressed, walked out to the reception area -

And found Rolando, chatting with the madam. (Oh, I forgot to mention that Sr. Rolando had gotten me a discount, from A$250 to A$200, due to my ill-use at 1219 Esmerelda! I gave Carolina the extra A$50 as a tip for exceptionally good service, and tipped Rolando likewise after we walked back to my hotel and his corner. He'd done right by me.)

So my disappointing trip to Bs. As. ended happily, if not completely "all right". Next morning I hopped on the Buquebus for Colonia, Montevideo and finally Punta del Este - where I am today.

Uruguay is a different story! But more on that later, when I have experienced a little more.

Saludos, Rakusan

Rak -- There isn't a guy on this board who hasn't been "had" -- in the wrong way. Look at it this way. You learned: stay away from touts. Period. IMNSHO

And it's more exciting and more fun to do your own hunting and negotiating, dontcha think?

Looking forward to Uruguay report!

Rak,

Thanks for the report on BA. For awhile, back in the days Moondog and Godfather were active, there was a lot of info for that city on this site. That seems to have dropped off over the past couple of years. I'm not sure why as the exchange rate in Argentina seems to be MUCH more favorable that other SA locales. I appreciate you pointing out your mistakes and well as successes.

All those members who bitch and moan about how the "vets" do not value the posts of newbies need to take note of the subtleties of this report. Rakusan joined the site, did his research, went on his trip and reported what happened. He didn't ask a lot of questions that have already been answered, pump up his exploits, or bombard the board with stupidity. A few pictures would have been nice, but since I haven't posted any yet I can't throw stones from this glass house. All in all, I'd say an excellent job.

I'll look forward to your report on Uruguay.

EA

Since those reports, BA is not what it used to be as experienced by me last month after a 2 yr hiatus. If you were going to use touts you didn't need to research anything.

Going to the clubs would have been more fulfilling along with more choices and cheaper prices. For example a club called Salome you can get them for 150 and young and nice.

Anyways, you need a couple of weeks there to learn the ropes.

BsAs isn't that great of a place when you can go to Brazil. The girls are more pro and too mnay rip-off clubs. Rakuson should have just toss twenty peso on the counter and walked out. Just because they tell you the bill is $500 peso don't mean you have to paid it. They just make up bullshit prices to rob you. I tell them to call the cops if they want. Modaho now has a hotel near it and some of the better looking girls only will go there for a hour at higher prices than an all-night. So the last few time in BsAs were just sitting at things go by. I'm only there in BsAs waiting for my flight to Brazil after my hunting in Santa Rosa, Cordova, or Bahia Blanca. I try not to spend any night in Argentina now. The apartment girls are the only good deals to me.

Thanks for sharing Rakusan. If you read previous BA trip reports you know that going to an unknown place is a complete gamble and certainly no assurance of experiencing the best BA has to offer. Combined with your hotel selection it sounds like quite an awful short stay! I appreciate you sharing the story.

I will take note of the place at 497 Montevideo. It seems there is an incall or massage parlor almost every single block in the centro area.

The 200-300p prices you were quoted are much higher than normal. Good possibility they include a 50-100p commission for the tout. The well known 1707 Santa Fe and another incall I went to were in the range 100-150 last year, I think for an hour. The 300p for 1.5h at an unproven place was another gamble... better to negotiate shorter time, less money at least the first visit.