Well I wasn't going to start a report until after I got back, but that mentality has dogged me on my last 2 trips. Maybe writing this will pressure me to finish what I started.

It's 7:58 AM local time, my clothes are in the dryer as I type. In about 10 minutes they'll be done, folded, placed in my backpack and I'm out the door!

Emotions are running pretty strong now, higher than I can remember before a trip. I think this is because back in December, I really screwed up and left my bank card inside an ATM before a 3 day weekend and getting back proved to be mission impossible.

After a few days on skid row MaliMike bailed me out with a Western Union order, thanks bro! This time in addition to bringing my ATM and credit cards, I'm protecting my trip with Benjamin.

Haven't seen much on Phuket as of late. Looking forward to your report.

Regarding your forgotten ATM I had a similar experience. But I was lucky the ATM was outside an exchange booth and I went back there and when they opened the ATM my card was inside(plus 3 others). The teller draws in the card after it is not taken out after three turns.
I am leaving for Phuket tomorrow but I am afraid that there will be not much of a report for this forum as more action might go on with LB's (but I dont exclude a few girls in between too).
Yours Jodler

Quick Note:

Milfhunter, sorry I missed you in Pattya. It's totally my fault, you were more diligent about communicating than I was.

No ATM mishaps and the Benjamin envelope was never opened, but if felt good knowing I was traveling with a "spare tire" so to speak.

My boring report will be up shortly as I'm still unpacking, doing errands, etc.

The Phuket section has been idle for a long time. Can't wait to read your report!

The Phuket section has been idle for a long time

Yeah bro. I heard they had some kind of really gnarly wave roll thru .

MONDAY - A MINOR DETAIL

Well I boarded my Thai airways flight and picked up an English language Thai newspaper. Reading through it during the flight I learned that monsoons in the area had prompted local officials to turn tourists away from the beaches and that dive boats had suspended operations! Great, just my luck! This trip was just as much about diving as mongering! Well, I'm already airborne, hopefully these storms will have passed by the time I get there.

TUESDAY - SOME TROUBLE DESCENDING

After a quick connection in Bangkok, I boarded the Thai airways flight and gave my seat up to a man who wanted to sit with the rest of his family and was rewarded by getting a window seat next to a stunning Asian babe from the UK. A little on the ditsy side, she was heading to Phuket for a photo shoot and showed me a Thai magazine that she thought was about modeling. It was but it was one of those wet T shirt and panty modeling mags. We looked through it and she giggled away. No I didn’t get her number or details…sorry but that might be bringing sand to the beach. I’m sure I could have worked all week on her and get no action, but make a good friend. If I met her flying back home this would be a different story.

An hour’s flight and we were at Phuket, I, having only a backpack, skipped baggage claim, exchanged some money and was the first in the taxi line. An hour later I was at Kata Palm resort which I got 7 nights in for the price of 5. So I was looking forward to staying here and had derived from another website that they are guest friendly. After driving 2 hours to my original airport, flying for 10, plus a one hour hop and a one hour cab ride, I just wanted to hit the pillow so I can recharge my batteries, in me and my cell phone and get on with my vacation.

What I didn’t need was for the clerk to drag a little placard out from the corner of the desk that said “joiner fee 1000 baht”. WTF?! It was in a little plastic holder like a beer bar’s drinks menu! What made it worse was that the room was prepaid, non-refundable. Now I had two dilemmas. Potentially no diving, which would mean more nightlife and nooning, but at a huge cost. I could certainly find a suitable room for less than 1000 baht a night, in Patong so that’s what I resolved to do. I could always go to any beach I want during the day.

After a nap, I rented a scooter and turned the wrong direction and headed up a steep road. I saw the sign for Kata Beach viewpoint so I decided to continue, a little worried about coming back down the hill. The speedometer didn’t work, how good are the brakes?



Getting back down the hill safely, I continued on to Patong and visited a dive center (they all book the same trips at the same cost). Yes they were diving, and yes I could do 3 dives tomorrow. Cool, vacation saved.

I looked at the Yorkshire Inn, which has some major cuties working there and saw the closet of the room for 900 baht. I left my name and said I would check in tomorrow night and then I remembered C&N hotel. The wanted 800 and the rooms were small, but not closets, had better bathrooms and were definitely guest friendly. I almost booked a room at their resort for 1200/night which is also guest friendly, but I figured I’d be losing enough dough thanks to Kata Palm as it is. That settled, and diving a go I was a happy camper and headed to Cristin’s MP.

They have three categories of girls here, 1900, 2300 and 2800. I took Dao since she looked alright at the time and was rather friendly. She gave me a good Thai massage on the soapy mat, but would only lick the sides of my dick bare back. I still remember handling her thin hips finishing her off doggie style. She wasn’t super hot but actually photographed more poorly than I would have guessed.

Photo: Dao 01

Feeling refreshed I returned to Kata Palm to sleep off some more jet lag and see if I felt up to going out that night. My cell phone alarm woke me up, but I just wasn’t feeling a moto ride to Patong and knew I would have to get up early for diving the next day. Plus, I had to make two more moto trips early in the AM to check in at C&N and get picked up for diving at Kata Palm.

WEDNESDAY – RIDING THE CURRENTS

I awoke at about 5 AM, packed, strapped the backpack on tight and rode to Patong. Everyone should take an early morning ride in Phuket once. It’s cooler outside and lots of eye candy coming and going from hotels you pass and motos stuffed with bar girls returning with their bounties. Coming down one hill the police were out and there was an ambulance departing the scene. I got waved through the area and had to ride through a small stream of blood on the road. If you don’t wear helmets when riding a bike, why not just disable the brakes while you’re at it? While throttling down Bangla Rd I saw a bar girl slap a guy in the face so hard his cell phone fell to the ground! Ah the misadventures of the hobby. I wonder what he said to merit such a wrath. Checking my rear view mirror, I could see he at least had the sense not to hit back.

After checking in to my new favorite little hotel, C&N, I returned to Kata Palm, where they were shocked that I was checking out. The dive operator picked me up and I had a great day diving Koh Doc Mai, Shark Point and the King Cruiser wreck. Even if you don’t dive I’d suggest booking one day to go out with the dive boat and go snorkeling at the dive sites. It’s about half the price for going diving and you’ll probably sign out for a dive course after that experience.



Back in the room, exhausted from 3 dives and three beers on the boat with my new acquaintances I crashed until midnight. When I awoke I went to club Rio which has good outdoor seating. I ate a Tuna Melt had some cola and red bull to wake myself up and watched all the honeys stroll by. Bangla road is now closed to traffic at night and has an atmosphere that rivals Walking Street although Walking Street is still King for now.

Next stop was Tiger disco which had a few good looking girls and some half way decent ones. The one I liked wasn’t talking to anyone so I eventually left because I was tired of being approached by mediocre girls. I started towards banana disco when this cute little spinner and her sister walked past me. She grabbed my hand as I passed and started to let go, but I held on.

We (her name is Jae) talked about what she wanted to do and she just wanted to head back to the hotel, but wanted me to see about taking her “sister” too. We caught up with her and she didn’t look too bad but was not as cute as Jae so I declined. This may have been a mistake, but there was no way for me to know it at that point.

In the hotel she gave me a pretty good session and met the keeper criteria of BBBJ deep throat. But she complained after the first session that she was still horny. I just didn’t have the mojo for another round right then and said we’d do it again in the morning. She started getting a little bitchy, and told me not to touch her etc. I put 1500 baht in her purse, told her that and let her choose whether to stay or not. I’ve dealt with moody girls before and it usually passes with great make up sex.

THURSDAY – SEX ON THE BEACH (NOT REALLY)

Jae kept tossing and turning and didn’t want to stay in the room. She offered to take me to Surin beach on her bike and we could sleep there. Sounds good to me. We got there before 9:30 which is when they start putting the chairs and umbrellas up. Sister joined us later and that’s when I realized how much I fucked up. She had the nicest, tannest legs I’ve seen on a Thai girl. All day I got to watch her spread lotion and sunscreen on those things and she liked going into the water for a swim from time to time as did I. Jae, like most Thai girls would probably list sleeping as her main hobby on her MySpace account.

I left briefly to book my next day’s dive trip and when I got back Jae was ready to go. It was on the tip of my tongue to invite sister out to dinner and attempt a switch or a double, but she quickly said “bye” to me and that was that. I didn’t develop a good rapport with her as Khun umbrella guy was talking to her all day. You can see sister and her legs in the background.

One more of sister, heading for the sea.

"... probably list sleeping as her main hobby ..." Ha, ha! Good one.

FRIDAY – CHANGING AIR TANKS

After a lackluster evening with Jae, I was looking forward to another 3 dives and finding a new partner that night. Jae must have sensed this and said she wanted to call me and that she would call me that night and would leave her passport at the desk. I told her she could call, but made her take her passport. If she had taken super good care of me, I’d be asking her to leave her passport, In fact I’d let her sleep in and register her with the hotel so she can go shopping with the money I had given her.

Alas, most of these girls don’t see the bigger picture, so I said my goodbyes to Jae which she probably knew were final, and went to the little restaurant across from the hotel to have coffee while waiting for my dive pickup.

Sometimes, being from a first world country gives you a false sense of superiority. What I mean by that, is you believe the US or UK has things more together than a place like Thailand. While enjoying my coffee, a garbage truck pulled up and the shops started bringing bags of trash to the truck. Literally in the trash were three men who opened every bag and separated every recyclable item into bags tied to the outside of the truck. Two of them were even wearing gloves! Who’s going to get inside a garbage truck to do that in the West? Props to Thailand, they're starting to move in the right direction.



On the boat I met an American and his son and another great day of diving ensued. We agreed to meet up on Bangla afterwards for drinks.



After some drinks and some food, they retreated back to the hotel dead tired. So was I but I didn’t want to come home empty handed. Seeking out some place with aircon I went to Dragon entertainment, which was a pretty decent go go. The shows were pretty elaborate, but the regular dancers were nothing special and you just couldn’t get up close and personal with them so I moved on. On my way back to the hotel, I spotted a beer bar with 7 or 8 spinners coyote dancing on the bar. Now we’re talking. The first dancer to notice me immediately stopped dancing, came down from the bar and asked for a drink.

Again, missing the picture, entertain me first, then I’ll buy a drink. She eventually got the picture I wasn’t buying and disappeared. Another little spinner up there shook it for me briefly but didn’t seem to take much notice. Finally Joy arrived from somewhere behind me and grinded on me. She kissed me a few times and looked every bit as good as the spinner already on the bar. She proceeded to get up there and showed off her delightfully petit body. Of course she got a drink out of me, I threw one to the papasan too and off we went.
Back in the room, she did the BBBJ deep throat, making her keeper potential. I perked up when she said she wanted to eat my cum. I thought it was nonsense and we started having sex. About 10 minutes into the deed she took me out and gave me a HJ and said she wanted me to come in her face. What could I do? I’m a nice guy, who wants to make the teeraks happy.

Photo: Joy 02

BTW, I accidently deleted the first photo I took of Joy. I had to buy a card reader and download some software to get it back. The first program I downloaded couldn't find shit. Go figure that one was free. The trial version of the second one, DiskInternal Flash Recovery, took me down memory lane on my camera displaying hundres of deleted RAW photos. I found my photo and of course had to buy the software to retrieve it. Talk about advertising!

Hopefully, this photo proves the value of this software.

Photo: Joy 03

BP,

Glad to hear that the trip went smoother this time. I now have a bail out fellow monger account set up, just in case. The action in Phuket is smaller, but still good. And you can't beat the ocean/beach there. WAY better than Pattaya.

MM

SATURDAY – ONE NIGHT IN PATTAYA MAKES A HUMBLE MAN HARD

I flew Air Asia to BKK and took the bus down to Pattaya, transferred to the baht bus at the bus depot and got into the Queen Vic at 5:30. There was a slight room mix up which took 10 minutes to work out, but I got my room. I had to shower and change quickly because I was due to meet up with some members from another board at hot and cold go go on soi 13/2 aka soi post office.

The unique feature of this bar is while they have no stunners, most of the girls on the floor are topless and very playful. I think I glanced at the stage twice because the main event is all in your face there. I had a good time playing with my teerak's nipple rings. I was supposed to meet MILFHUNTER there but as I said above I screwed that up and missed him.

Our barhop continued at Nevada which is always good, but I was too busy chatting with newly met bros to do much oggling.

Next, we went to a Thai restaurant with long name (too long for me to remember) on second road: Good, cheap, more Thais then falangs there, so no worries about authenticity.

Since we were right around the corner from Misty’s we paid a visit. I haven’t been here in years and I quite liked it again.

Windmill (?) on soi Diamond: I must have walked by this place a dozen times in the past and never went inside. I was impressed to see full nude girls on stage, and thought I would like it. But alas, it was boring IMHO.

Coyotes: This is where we went next instead of Casino Club. Some of the girls here could really dance. No pressure for LDs, but no ladies approaching any of us.

What's up a go go. Probably the best go go right now in terms of cuties and the atmosphere was off the hook. Or on the ring. There were chrome chains with rings attached that some of the girls were getting quite acrobatic on. The shower pit was a lot of good clean, hands on fun. Wear your Speedos, because you will get wet.

The teerak I was checking out and vice versa had a little pout on her face when some older gentleman bought her a drink before I did. Alas, mamasan comes up to me later and points to teerak, now away from OG, and discreetly asks me if I want bar fine.

I took it as a sign and my new friend accompanied us to Living Dolls 1, where we finally woke up one of our party who was too preoccupied trying to text another board member, and he finally bar fined and paired off.

Took my new friend over to Casino Club so I could really watch some teeraks shake it. She was impressed enough with the place she got up on the stage too and the Thai waiters made me go with her. I really loathed dancing badly with my girl and the professional dancer too...yeah right.

The last remaining person I had met up with showed up after I was done on stage so no witnesses thank goodness. A few Thai guys toasted me on my friend. The club closed down at 4 and we all left.

Hotel note: The Queen Vic deluxe rooms are nice new and comfortable, affordable and fit the bill for one night. Going in the back door essentially up the fire escape every night could get old and dangerous.

The downside is after my friend left I could hear her going up and down the steps trying to figure out how the hell to get out of the place. I got dressed and went outside to see her all shaken up. She was drunk etc. and had been babbling nonsense for hours. But as I walked her to 2nd road for a motodop she told me the security guy charged her 100 baht for her ID card back.

I tend to believe it was true as she was too wasted to make that up. I’d be reluctant to stay there again, because if your guest wants to leave you’ll have to walk her downstairs to keep her from being ripped off.

At about 8:30 I woke up and had the vague sense that there was a knock at my door. I checked it and there was my What’s up Girl. She apparently wanted more Poppa, so I obliged.

Photos: What's Up 04 05 06 07

MM,

Is that an account payable or receivable? Yeah I could be wrong Bangla might have always been closed to traffic at night. But sitting at Rio with a drink is a good place to survey the talent.

OK, it is now formally called the "Emergency Mongering Fund" or EMF. Set up in case a fellow monger (cause it's never me) is in dire needs. Limits will be set depending on how good of a relationship there is. BP, since we have traveled together, gets about a $300 limit. All others will be significantly lower. At least till some rounds are bought.

MM

Poppa…have you done any diving elsewhere in SE Asia? I am looking at going to Bunaken in the North Sulawesi as a side trip during my trip in September. Ain’t going to be any mongering there but supposed to be some of the most incredible diving In the world.

Hi Poppa.
Would you recommend C&N Hotel for the Phuket area ?
I am going to thailand for the first time in August and Phuket is on my plan, in addition to BKK and Pattaya.

Could you recommend a diving place too. I am in the planning mode...
Thanks in advance !

Poppa,

Thanks for the update and stellar report. I loved the pictures with the sister in the background. Great reporting and glad to here you had some good dives!!!

Knockkneedman: I've dove in Subic Bay PI and it was pretty good. Lots of wrecks. I've never been to where you're going, let me know how it is.

Zenrico: Absolutley. Being that it is your first time, you may prefer the resort as it has a pool. The hotel doesn't have much of a view, but it doesn't matter as you should get out of the hotel anyway during the day and be under an umbrella at one of Phuket's georgeous beaches.

There's lots of dive shops in Phuket and they all cross book with each other and I've confirmed with people on the boat that we all paid the same rate. So just go to a dive shop near your hotel. I'd book at a shop vs with your hotel, to avoid any sort of commission.

In my opinion, do any trip with 3 dives, if you're going out for the whole day anyway. Also the overnight trip to Phi Phi island is good - 7 dives in 2 days and a bungalow stay on Phi Phi, all meals included.

www.cnhotelpatong.com

Surferr3: Thanks! Sister had a dress on that didn't flatter her when we met, so I had no idea of the body I was missing!

SUNDAY - FEELING NARCED

Uhh! Is it really time to wake up? Thank goodness the Queen Vic has free coffee in the room. I sipped on it while my What’s Up teerak helped me pack. I really didn’t unpack the night before, so we just watched TV and enjoyed the aircon comforts until about a quarter to 12. We headed downstairs to check out at the bar. This is like a British bed and breakfast, so no lobby and no privacy. Thank goodness the jokers at the bar waited for Ton to leave, before they started cheering me. I had what has to be the worst burger in Pattaya there (the British can cook, if they use French recipes) and headed out.

Soi 6 wasn’t fully going yet, so selection was poor and my time was limited. I needed to find an internet café so I could get a dive shop's number and making a booking over the phone. All the internet shops were closed. I jumped on a baht bus and headed to soi 13 to look for another shop and to make my way over to Lólita's on soi LK Metro. For those unfamiliar, Lólita's is a BJ bar and nearby is Hell Club, the sister club to Eden in Bangkok.

Lólita's had barely passable girls out front so I continued to Hell Club. Not absolute stunners, but stunning service, almost anything goes. The ground rules are you must take 2 ladies for 1 ½ hours. These girls are specifically “trained” to act as a team and are not shy about being together with a man. The bar has a way of showing you who will perform anal. I took two ladies for 2 rounds with a pretty good Thai massage in between. I was done at 2:30 almost on the dot and took a moto taxi to the bus station and got the 3’oclock bus to the airport for 150 baht. The bus is really the way to go, but to and from the airport the departures are spread out quite far so have your hotel call them to see if it’s viable or not.
In the airport departures lounge I got drawn into a conversation with two elderly men who would put most of us to shame with their conversation subject matter. Pretty funny guys one of whom is related to a female celebrity who was the hottest thing around in her day. To protect him, a little, I’ll just say she used to play the role of a detective with two other hotties. They had a boss they’ve never seen in person.

Back in Phuket I was tempted to go out, but Pattaya and travel had worn me out so I crashed. By now you may have noticed a pattern of going out and staying in. Not that there’s any schedule, I just listen to my body. If it’s saying “go ahead I’ll just make you fall asleep at the bar,” I tend to heed the warning. It also helps keep you from getting ill from overextending yourself.

MONDAY - I CAN'T THINK OF ANY MORE TITLES



Another day and three more dives, this can be a little addictive. There were some scattered showers but it didn’t affect the diving too much.

TUESDAY – LAST CARESS

On Tuesday, I wanted to get a goodbye session with Joy, run a few errands and head to the airport for my evening flight out. I was trying to think if time wise I could fit that in with a visit to Cristin’s. I started getting pretty hungry and had a burger at Scruffy Murphy’s.
It was raining pretty hard that day, so I was the only person with an umbrella who looked happy. I narrowly avoided dive spoiling monsoons just before and today would have been a shitty day to dive anyhow.

After eating I tried to call Joy, but got some Thai message and a Shakira song before the phone disconnected. I tried again but got the same results. Oh well, I knew I should have paid a visit to the bar Sunday or Monday so she could gain face anyway.

On towards Cristin’s. Being flush with cash, you really don’t spend much bread on the dive boats; I opted only to look at the 2800 bahters. There were some pretty nice ones, but what sucks about fishbowls is it’s 90% eye candy, and you can’t be as hands on even when the girl comes to your table for a chat. So it’s basically a crapshoot when you go upstairs. I was in my chair for 10 seconds trying to gauge who was the horniest, when my cell phone rang. I opened it up and like divine intervention, there was Joy’s name as if to prevent me from overpaying for average performance. She agreed to meet me at the hotel in 20 minutes. I told mamasan that I had a mongering emergency, so sorry I must go, and was singing in the rain all the way back to C&N.



Upstairs, the room was muggy so I turned on the AC and started packing up when the power went out. Using the in room flashlight (this hotel knows what’s up) I continued packing and then opened the drapes. The windows are full length and tinted. I cracked the sliding door a hair to let some cool rain air in.

Joy showed up and we got to business in natural, tinted lighting. I promised her the guy sitting on the balcony across the soi smoking cigarettes couldn’t see us through the tinting. I never thought I would be in a public sex show, but I think I might have been as he probably saw our forms through the tint and the outline of little Poppa protruding from my torso as I walked across the room to get a condom from the drawer. Also, more people appeared on the balcony, Joy told me, but I was lying down with her crotch in my face and that perfect little butt was all the view I was concerned with.

Before we got fully into it, the lights came back on, I pulled the curtains shut and we carried on. I can still remember how tight she was when she was riding me cowgirl and leaned over me. It was almost like a hand squeezing me into an orgasm.

A nap followed by another session where she wanted me to CIM. I think she does this to make her guy happy and really reduce the chance of pregnancy. She’s actually a pretty smart girl who takes care of herself. She runs every morning and does yoga. I took care of her well too money wise, because I'd like to call her next time I'm in Phuket, or anywhere in Thailand for that matter.

Photo: Joy 08

A SPECIAL THANK YOU - To the lovely Thai Airways stewardess who saw me writing this report out on a vomit bag and brought me some stationary. Good lookin' out!

ALMOST FORGOT - I got an email from res24 to write a review of Kata Palm. So I did and mentioned why I left. They replied that they got my unused nights refunded and will reimburse my charge card. Chalk one up for res24!

And piss on all hotels charging a joiner fee.

Nice reporting Bigpoppa. Glad to hear the rain isn't messing things up to much yet

I will be in LOS later July 1st for a week and also want to do some diving. Wondering if there is any decent diving out of Pattaya since I don't really want to waste more time getting down to Phuket.

I also arrive late 11:40PM in BKK. Assuming I decide on Pattaya. Is it best to stay over in BKK for the night and then head out to Pattaya the following day or grab a taxi and go direct the night of arrival.

I was only in Phuket once before I had my diving cert. so I have not had a chance to dive there yet.

thx Yoosin

Yoosin I'll PM you.

BP

Hey Bigpoppa, Great report and loved the scenery photos. I was diving in Phuket two weeks before the tsunami hit, and I'm glad to see nature looking good again. I'm heading back in January and can't wait. Thailand is still my fav....Thanks for the memories!