I woke up at 8:15. Still tired, but I guess that's when I get up when I am not greeted by cold or Wonk! Wonk! Wonk!
I caught up on email and my notes. Interestingly, the power went out in the hotel for about five minutes while I was on the computer. This is the first time I have experienced this in all of my Lima visits - I don't know if it was a hotel or a city problem, and I don't know if I've been lucky or not. Does anyone else have any power stories to share?
Since there was only a day left, I had to get to work quickly. At 10:15, I called Naty. She advertises on Relax Del Peru (http://www.relaxdelperu.com/galeria.php). Here's her ad: click here. The reviews of her in PeruTops were positive, and they had her in the 200 Sol price range.
Naty answered the phone, said that she was available, and agreed to come over in a half hour. When I asked the price, she said 100 dollars. I thanked her, and said that was too much, have a nice day. Wait, wait, she said - how much do you want to pay? I told her that I respected her price, but I don't pay that much. She then counter-offered to come for $50. I agreed, so either she was just trying the foreigner and $50 is plenty, or she will do a quick date, or she will send someone else - I am OK with all three options. Off to the shower!
She showed at 11:10. Her ad says that she is 25-years-old, but I would guess that she's closer to 30. A little out of my normal age range, but what the hell - I'm on vacation. I was right not to agree to the $100 price tag -- her beauty was not commensurate with some of the higher-priced girls I have seen here in Lima. Her hair was lighter than in her ad, but the reviews I had read had mentioned that. She was thin, and kept herself in good shape, but the effects of being 30-ish did show. I am convinced that the pictures in the ad are indeed her. And she did answer her own phone.
The reviews of her were correct - she puts everything into her sessions. She was not in a hurry, and spent a good while licking me all over, taking special care in some crucial areas. I returned the favor in a more specialized location, and she was extremely responsive. We got around to the big finale, and it was pretty damn good. At some point, I was thinking, "if this is how these girls get in bed with random customers, their boyfriends must be in heaven 24/7." I asked, but she declined to let me take any pictures.
Anyway, she wasn't much for small talk. After getting dressed, I gave her $60 (she didn't look at it; just put it in her pocketbook) and 20 Soles separately, for her taxi. She smiled and sincerely thanked me for the taxi money.
Naty left at 12:05. It's still early, so I hope to have one more in me before I leave. I'm amazed that I have gotten this far. I needed some nourishment, so I hopped in a taxi and tried to go to El Hawaiano.
Astrid had written it down for me when she was over on Saturday. That was good enough for me, so I did a web search and found their web site and their address. Easy, right? Er, no.
Even though the address is right on the Paseo de la Republica, you simply can't get there from here, wherever here was. You can see it sometimes, but that's about it. The first cab driver drove in circles for what seemed like an hour - I finally got out of the cab one of the times that I could see the restaurant, but you can't even walk there from here. Thinking that the driver was just an idiot, I got in a second taxi, and wound up taking the identical City Tour of Barranco. We found it by sheer dumb luck; all of a sudden, it was in front of us. Neither of us understood how, but there it was!
When I got out of the taxi, I realized that I was getting very short tempered. And hell, it wasn't the taxi driver's fault that I am going to have to go back to Santo Domingo tomorrow, so maybe I shouldn't take it out on him. That could also have something to do with the casino idiots last night, also. They're still idiots, but I didn't have to over react.
Regardless, I was at the restaurant.
El Hawaiano
Av. Paseo de la Republica 6500, Barranco
247-9333
www.elhawaiano.com
This place is huge. Hundreds of people huge. I am not sure that this could be categorized as a tourist restaurant; I was the only person there who didn't speak Spanish. But it look like some place where a tour bus would stop, and a busload of people with cameras around their necks would get out and chow down before they went to the next museum.
That doesn't mean that the food wasn't good - not by any means. It was just a big production line-type buffet, with absolutely no personal touch. I had thought that Maria Pastor was a good place to bring a first-timer to experience a wide range of Peruvian food, but this was a better option. There were more choices and the food was tastier. It was also costlier: my check was 55 Soles (about $18), and it did not include a beverage (I drank juice from the buffet).
I would return to El Hawaiano with friends. I would just be sure to take the phone number with me next time, so the taxi driver can call up and ask where the hell they are.
As I was waiting for a taxi after lunch, I realized how absolutely and totally shot out I was. If I lived here, or was on a very extended stay, I would have just taken most of the day as a rest day, and gotten on with my life tomorrow. But since I was leaving in less than 18 hours, despite what my body was telling me, my brain said that I needed to do SOMETHING, just because my time was limited. This doesn't excuse my next action, as much as explain it.
I went to the Atlantic City Casino, where I lost $40 in the slot machines in 20 minutes.
The $40 won't kill me, it was just the sheer stupidity that was overwhelming. I would have gotten more satisfaction if I had just burnt my money.
Reason took over, and I went back to the hotel by 4:00 and rested for a while. I sort of slept until 6:00, and then I got up and checked my email. I received a request from a guy I have never met. He is coming to town later this week, and asked if I could make a stab at getting an email address from a girl he knew at Tequila Rock from a previous visit. He was polite and gave enough details that it might just be worth trying. Besides, no trip to Tequila Rock is a wasted trip - I can always try to score a phone number or two for next time.
I gave Casino Miraflores one more shot at my money, and they took it. It's not like I expect to win every time I play blackjack, but it sure would be nice to win a hand or two during the evening. I hightailed it out of there towards the Hacienda. It went no better there, so off to Atlantic City I went.
I managed to squeeze 20 dollars out of them at the tables, somewhat relieving my slot machine stupidity earlier. It was now about 9:15, and as I had to leave the hotel at 3:00 am for the airport, time was running out. I wasn't sure that I could get it up again even with the help of a crane, I popped a blue pill, and took a taxi to Relax y Vida #2. I figured that even if I couldn't complete my mission, I would still get treated really well.
It's like the home I've always wanted. The door opens, and five pretty young girls all say, "Hola, RT." Even the ones that I met just for a few minutes a week ago, and didn't select, remembered my name. They then bring me drinks and surround me, all hoping that I will choose them. Yup, the home I've never had.
One girl catches my eye. I'm pretty sure that Anita would catch Stevie Wonder's eye, she is so pretty. Tall (for a Peruvian girl), thin, nicely displayed rack, pretty smile - she has it all. I break the other girls' hearts and pick her, telling the boss lady that I want an hour, but no sauna (I didn't want to leave into the cold weather while I was still wet). Anita goes and sets up, and then comes back and gets me. We go to the room.
Anita is either 20- or 21-years-old, I don't remember which. She speaks no English, and didn't really seem to care that I couldn't understand her when she talked 100 miles per hour. Anyway, I show her where the sore spots on my back and shoulders are, and she tells me that I am in luck - she studied massage in school.
What follows is an excellent massage; she concentrated on all the areas I asked. After a while, I felt her naked body on my back, and she was planting little kisses all over me. She had me turn over, and lo and behold, I had something going on between my legs. She wasn't surprised (she's a beautiful, naked girl), but I sure was. Anita broke out a condom and started kissing and sucking away, paying plenty of attention to the twins, too. I realized that it was not going to happen with the condom, so I had her remove it and get the lotion out. After a bit of work, what was supposed to happen, happened. Again, I was the only one surprised.
She cleaned me up, and we chatted for a while, until the knock came. After getting dressed, she let me take a couple of photos.
Photos: Anita 52 53 54 55
I tipped her $20 and paid 60 Soles to the house. A million times better experience than I had at Quo Spa, for about half to two thirds of the price. And you get to have pretty young girls fawn all over you. It is great that there are three Relax y Vidas now - I only wish that there was one in every city in the world.
I left RyV at 11:00, and took a cab to Pizza Alley; I was hungry. I wound up eating at the Chinese restaurant on the corner of Berlin and Av. Diagonal. It's big, you can't miss it. I had the special wonton soup, an order of six dumplings, and a bottle of water, all for the inflated price of 19 Soles (the prices are higher than elsewhere because it is right at tourist ground zero). It was still a fine snack for $6.
After dinner, I walked across the park to Tequila Rock. It was virtually empty at midnight on a Monday, so I didn't have much hope of finding the girl for the guy who wrote me, but I was willing to invest some time trying. I hope that someone would do the same for me one day.
In Tequila Rock, especially if you visit multiple times, it pays to pick out one bartender and sit by him exclusively, and tip him. I don't tip a lot, maybe a dollar a drink, but that's a fortune over there, and gets you remembered. We got to talking, and I told him of my mission, and asked him to point her out if she showed up. He said we wouldn't have to wait - there she is! I walked over to her, confirmed her name, and asked her to join me. When we sat down, I explained who I was and why I was there. She found it a little eerie that I had her name on a piece of paper, but my bartender (I bought her a beer) told her that I was a regular and been there many times and that I wasn't a creep. That bought him a big tip on the beer, and she gave me her email address and phone numbers to send to the guy. By the way, he has good taste - I had eyed her on a previous trip.
With the mission accomplished, I kissed her on the cheek, thanked my bartender, and told them that I would see them in November. I was back at the hotel by 12:45, and packed up, checked out, and in a taxi to the airport by 3:00 am
My 5:35 flight was at an ungodly hour, but that was all that was available when I extended my stay, so I stumbled through all the airport stuff, and was out of Lima before daybreak.
TRIP WRAP-UP
This was a good trip, not a great one, but pretty damn good. I ate in some new restaurants, tried out some new places, and dated 11 girls in my 10 days, only taking one day of rest. I only wound up repeating with one girl from previous trips - I am always concerned that I will stick to the tried and true, foregoing any new adventures. The apartment didn't work out, but Marc did the right thing on returning some of the money, so what can you do? One of the reasons, I believe, that my trips don't hit the 'great' level any longer is that I am so comfortable here. I pretty much know what I'm doing and where I'm going, so there's not as much, "wow, look at that!" going on. For me, I like the comfort zone, so it is a tradeoff I am happy with.
Incredibly, I was 5 for 5 at having the girl in the ad be the girl in the bed. That's amazing, considering that I usually bat less than 50% in that category. Only one of those dates (Astrid) was arranged with any outside help. Perhaps I just got lucky this time, or I was unlucky on previous visits. I'd like to hear from other Lima visitors (and locals) as to their success rates.
Also, I am not sure of how my 'epiphany' (these are the regular-looking pretty girls that I can never get that just come over to your hotel and do you) will affect me. I usually shy away from dealing with civilians anyway, but this trip, one really pretty girl was just about offering herself up on a silver platter, and I just walked away.
I spent way more money than I had planned. Part of it was due to extending the trip for three nights, part of it involved (gladly) forking over $200 to Astrid, and part of it was my total inability to get two or three or four cards together that would add up to 19, 20 or 21. The trip didn't bankrupt me by any means; I was just surprised at how many times I hit the ATM. Another issue is that since things are so cheap, I turn off the mental filter that stops me from buying stuff I don't need. Again, not a bad thing, just something for me to be aware of.
I love it there. I can't wait to go back in November. Thanks for reading.