The next day we were making plans to head back to Luomo, but there are some other things to do and we won't make it by 5:00. I remind Hollywood that he told Camilla he's be there to meet her at 5:01.

He held up his bare wrist, "I lost my watch!". Good old Hollywood, always with the perfect excuse.

On CH I see that BwanaDik has posted that he's in town. The man who wrote THE guide? My patron saint of Rio? I must meet him. I call his number and he's just down at Don's. I've got to buy you a drink my good man, I'm on my way. We met BwanaDik and I thanked him as much as I could without prostrating myself on the ground. It turned out he was on the same schedule we were, stop by Kilograma and on to Luomo (It was still a weekend and a holiday weekend at that so we'd be repeating). I offered to buy him lunch at Kilograma but he said a drink at Luomo would do.

"That's more than lunch!", I joked.

We met another guy who I'm sure other's know, but I don't know his handle so I'll call him Popster. Popster lives near Rio and takes photos of the girls and in return they supply him with various pleasures. He says he's stopping at 1,000 girls and is in the 900's now. Why are you stopping? He says he wants to do other things like travel. I put it down to senility, but little did I know what awaited me.

I'm very confused. Here's a guy who has the perfect gig, better than a Playboy photographer. First, the Playboy photographer is not going to be assured of nailing all his clientelle, he'll be lucky to do 10%. Second all the Playboy girls look alike, skinny blondes with big fake tits. Brazil women embody the best variety of the female species, white, black,asian, hispanic, and a mix of everything. You name it, it's all there, and they have rockin' bunda's to boot. Third, there's no way one of those skinny Playboy models with angelic features are going to smile at you and say, "Sim" when you ask for completa.

So Popster's got the best job in the world, yet he's strangely unfulfilled. He's doing exactly what I think I want to devote my life to, and he's ready to give it up and go travelling. If Popster is unfulfilled, what hope do I have? I haven't even done 10% of the girls he's done. Why isn't Popster sitting on his bed with a smile on his face that would make the Buddha jealous? This sits and buzzes in the back of my brain while we talk.

Over lunch, much to my surprise it turns out that Hollywood and BwanaDik probably met a few years ago in the U.S. I can't believe this one. Here I am trying to pick BwanaDik's brain about Rio and Hollywood and BwanaDik are talking over old times. I guess it's just part of the magic of Rio.

We headed over to Luomo and BwanaDik had his favorita of course. Hollywood hooked up with Camilla. And I saw Fernanda was available. We all had a good time and after a shower and steam I came out looking for a second round.

So there I am, sitting in Luomo checking out the action. One of my four favorite places on planet Earth, (I wonder if a Brazilian Terma is listed in 1000 Things You Have to See Before You Die), the others being all the other three Terma’s I’ve visited. Sexy exotic women wearing next to nothing, enticing me, nay, begging me, a short skinny bald guy, to fuck them. Then it hits me like a grand piano from a ten story building.

I blink furiously and shake my head.

“You stupid fuck!”

I look away.

“You sick, sick, bastard!”

I look up again.

“No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No, you didn’t! You take that back! You take that back right now!”

I look away again.

“You should be keel-hauled!”

I bring myself up and I look desperately around the room. A wave of dismay overcomes me. It can’t be true. Please, please, don’t let it be true. How did this happen? What will I do? How will I go on?

“I can’t believe it. You’ve done some stupid things in your life Frogman, but this is the worst. This one cannot be undone. If it is undone it will take some serious psychological counseling. Possibly years and years. And drugs, you'll need serious drugs. And electroshock, yeah, that's it, electroshock, that's what you need. A couple dozen sessions cramed together. It might take 1000 volts of course.”

I put my head in my hands, wiping away the tears that were streaming down my face. The loud pounding music faded into the background. I looked up again and nothing had changed. There were over a dozen wonderful sexy Brazilian women in the room. But only two of them were doable.

I had become a jaded fuck.

In only two trips to Brazil! Only six Terma visits! It was bad enough that I could never return to Costa Rica after enjoying the delights of Brazil, but now I couldn’t even enjoy Brazil the same way again. It was all downhill for me now. I would become one of those guys I’d read on the boards who could sit in a Terma and not see anything interesting. I wanted perfection. Stunners. Nothing else would do. I would be forced to roam the Earth like the undead, always seeking sustenance that was as rare as unicorn blood.

I couldn’t just enjoy the asses in the Terma’s anymore. I was looking at their faces, the perkiness of their breasts, flat stomach, doe-like eyes, and an attitude that says “I want to make the next hour of your life heaven”.

It was all downhill. I would become like the guy’s I’d been reading, find some favoritas, maybe even get a girlfriend who I’d spend most of the week with.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

Fuck, I might as well get married, settle down, and have some kids.

It really was a psychological shock. I'm still dealing with the ramifications of it.

I pulled myself together and took Naomi again to see if she really was the best ass I'd ever had and sure enough we had the exact same room and I had the exact same experience. Boy that was satisfying. But the entire rest of the trip it was still nagging at me in the back of my mind along with Popster's predicament.

As we were leaving the cleanup girl walked by us and called Naomi the "N" word. I was a bit taken aback, did she just call you the "N" word? Naomi explained that the girl had called her "negra" because the girl was also a "negra" and it was kind of a term of identity/friendship. It's funny how different cultures react to different things.

Over dinner Hollywood says, "My golf clubs go up on Ebay as soon as I get back. But I'm done with Camilla, I want breasts now"

That's the spirit!

Later that night Hollywood had more heartburn. We get into the elevator and he doubles over in pain. Oh shit, he's going down. He's going to do a Dirty Harry on me. His girlfriend had told him I'm responsible for him. But he outweighs me by 50 pounds. How am I going to get him to a hospital? I don't even know what the 911 number is down here. Plus, if ambulance service is like the rest of Brazilian service they'll expect a bribe before even sending the ambulance. How am I going to negotiate a bribe when I'm still learning the Portugese numbers? This can't be happening, Jaguar isn't even in the country.

Hollywood recovered, but I made a decision there, this could be his heart, no extracarricular activities. We won't be ordering in any Karla model festas, Terma's only, one girl a day.

Luckily the next day we went down to the drugstore and got some Nexium that fixed him right up. In the U.S. that would require a month wait for a doctor visit and then you'd get your Nexium Some lax things about Brazil are good. But I was still worried and we stuck to the Termas.

Hollywood's thought for the day: "Now I know why I should exercise"

Frogman,

When it comes to drinking, I'm a very cheap date. No Red Bull and Whiskey for me. That beer at L was much cheaper than the lunch at Kilograma, né?

It was a kick meeting Hollywood. Within 5 minutes we discovered we had numerous mutual acquaintances in show business and that we'd undoubtedly been in some meetings together.

One option for dealing with Hollywood's lack of proper conditioning is to allow the GP to do all the work. Sometimes, mid-trip, I'll find myself reaching the point of near-exhaustion. Rather than taking a day off, I call Layla Venturinni and have the queen of oral sex blow me for an hour. Then I go get a massage, followed by a trip to 4X4 where I instruct Ohana to blow me for 30 minutes and ride me cowgirl for 30 minutes.

Rio's one of the few places I've been where you can get your brains fucked out without hardly moving a muscle.

True dat, BwanaDik, you are a cheap date. But for you I would have gladly paid for the Red Bull and Vodka.

Hollywood was buzzed meeting you as well. He told me later, "I never forget a face. I kept looking at him thinking, 'Don't I know you?'"

Don't ever tell him the girl can do all the work, that's just one more excuse for him to not exercise!

Frogman,

Oh, I love asking this question: Where's the next part.

Jag

Coming right up Jag!