The next day we took the Metro to 4x4. I was really getting the feel for Rio that I could wander downtown on my own. Don't laugh, I'm still a Beginner First Class, and only a Beginner Second Class in Rio.

Hollywood set his eyes immediately on a very young cute thing that reminded him of Mariah Carey. It was good to see that he was learning to avoid the tigrisses who prey on innocent pups. I wandered around the place looking for something, I didn't know what, that jaded fuck syndrome was causing problems in a room filled with 50-80 women. I was truly screwed. Only a short haired blonde who reminded me of my high school science teacher, Mrs Walpoole, stood out. She was with two older Brasiliero's and I couldn't catch her eye. Finally I settled on a blonde that Hollywood said looked a bit like Marilyn Monroe. I called her over, but still wasn't sold, she didn't look that much like Marilyn, just the nose. She wasn't too friendly, but asked for a drink. I told her only one drink, I wasn't paying for two drinks. I'm no wet behind the ears newbie unaware of the Vodka and Red Bull scam. When the bartender poured the whiskey I was relieved, at least this wasn't a Red Bull with Vodka. Then he pulled out the Red Bull and added it to the whiskey.

"Doh!"

Both she and the bartender insisted the Red Bull and whiskey constituted a single drink, even though I had to pay for two.

I was steamed and my silence told her I wasn't interested in her. She told me she was going to go upstairs and I should look around for something else and she'd be back in 20 minutes. I couldn't find anything really but Marilyn had disappeared. I wandered all around looking for her, but she must have been chatting in the girls area. Hollywood had disappeared with Mariah, so I needed to choose something to keep up. I finally was able to get Mrs. Walpoole, and we headed upstairs.

As it turns out, my high school science teacher wasn't very good in bed. I wondered which one of us was more bored. She knew what she was doing, she wasn't ever going to see me again. And don't tell me I should complain, I'm not going to force someone to lose their job, I knew better than to take her, it was my choice. I caught up with Hollywood in the steam room.

"How was it?" I asked.

"She was great, best yet. I came like a 15 year old"

Back inside I still couldn't find much to look at. I spotted Vanessa from my last trip. The first Terma girl in the short but sweet history of Frogman. Boy, did she look hard. I thought back and realized she was a bit hard when I did her, now though the end was in sight. Too bad. What the heck causes that hardened look? Is it the psychology of that life? The smoke? Is she doing drugs? Or a combination?

The place was packed cheek to jowl and they started the strip show and everybody by the stage sat down. I happened to be near the stage, but there was no way I was going to sit down on that skanky floor in a threadbare robe. I couldn't kneel either as my knees don't like that anymore. And I couldn't move out of the way because I was trapped in a sea of white robes.

Some girls sitting behind me began throwing stuff at me to get me to sit down. I turned around and began yelling at them and I realized I was not in a position to put up much of a fight if it came down to it. But the Brasiliero with the girls just smiled and shrugged it off. This was the moment of weakness I needed to push my point home. I gave them my best mad dog routine and they backed off. Whew!

Later I saw a blonde I’d been watching the whole night, good smile. She sat down and besides the fact that I don’t speak Portugese, I can’t hear a thing, even though I’m stuffing napkins in my ears to save my hearing. She asks if I want to go upstairs and I kind of am not 100% sold on her plus I’m really not ready, so I say “Maybe in 30 minutes”. She got up a little later and moved in front of me. We were right in that walkway area where people pass. Within 3 minutes 3 guys come by and give her a deep french kiss. Hmm, I’d at least like the illusion my girl’s not a whore.

Then I caught the eye of this tall cute one who came over. I checked her out, but passed on her as it was obvious she was a little saggy. Hollywood in the meantime had been worked on by this girl and went for his second session. The first time in his life he’d been laid by different women on the same day. You’re welcome. So I kind of want to keep in sync with him, plus this stupid “Jaded Fuck” thing was working it’s magic on me, and I was determined to put it behind me.

Then I saw what I wanted, a girl with strong Portugese looks, but a great ass. She was dancing up a storm with her friends and I hadn’t seen her even get close to another guy, she was genuinely enjoying herself. Yep, that’s what I want. I gently brushed of the cutie and excused myself to go pee. Once back I’d choose Portugese girl and wouldn’t allow “Jaded Fuck” doubt to enter my mind.

As I walked back in she was a few feet in front of me with her ass to me. I walked up behind and gently patted her ass.

She took off like a scalded dog through the crowd toward the stage.

I was dumbstruck. What the fuck?

She glanced over her shoulder at her friend who realized she’d taken off and quickly followed her. She thought I was her friend smacking her ass, they must have talked about moving upstage and she thought her friend was giving her the signal to move. I thought about this turn of events for a bit and decided to follow, even though I felt stupid to have to chase a woman at 4x4.

I found her a few minutes later at the pole (where does that pole go?) with the hole in the floor that the girls slide down. She was talking to some guy, and I stood and watched as she looked a bit miffed at him for some reason. They were touching, and I didn’t want to pull an Eddie Murphy in 48 Hours and step up and loudly claim my woman, too demeaning in that environment, so I just watched.

I’m staring right at her from 2 feet away and she doesn’t see me. Instead she turns to one of the staff guys and starts talking and flirting with him. Finally she puts her hands on his shoulders and starts dancing.

Okay, it’s a sign, this ain’t gonna happen, she’s not interested in making money, she’s really just interested in the scene. As I retreated back through the crowd I ran into cute girl and I figure this is the best I’m going to do and grab her and head up to the room.

I had to go back to my locker for condoms and as I came back up, there was "3 Guy" blonde girl who I really wanted.

Where were you? I spluttered. She asks if I want to go to a room now. I’ve already got a girl waiting for me. Damn. I’ve totally forgotten about the three guys kissing her. As I head upstairs she shouts, “Two Girls!”. Not now, not in the mood. Hmmm, that's not like me.

Cute girl was just as I expected. Average.

On the way back we got out of the taxi and Hollywood shoutes “Fuck!”. It wasn't a normal curse, it was the curse of someone truly shocked by something.. I immediately thought he’d lost his wallet or something. Then he motions me to look down at the street where he was standing. I saw a large drop of something on the asphalt, but I figured he shouldn’t have a period, so I’m still baffled by what I’m looking at.

Then he says, “My shoes”.

He’d left his shoes at 4x4 and was still wearing the sandals. He’d gotten so used to wearing Terma sandals he didn’t even notice. He considers them a trophy now and only bemoans the fact they don't have 4x4 stamped on them.

Hollywood's wisdom for the day, "Now I know why I work!"

What do you mean by "I knew better than to go to the cabina with Ms Walpoole"?

Also, we (you and I) too the Metro downtown and YOU hated every minute. What changed?

Holy Cow!!
Ben Stiller should take this report and make a movie out of it.
Oh I get it. You're trying to play it down to keep more newbies from coming. You're a genius.LOL

I didn't get a good feeling about Ms. Walpoole, I was just trying to keep up with Hollywood.

I hated the metro because we got a late start and the walk and ride ate into my Terma time. I wasn't paying enough attention when I was with you, sorry.

Is there a climax to this excellent report?