With evening work scheduled far too often this past week including last night (Friday), I didn't think that I was going to be able to hit the sex parlors of Monterrey this past week, a severely depressing notion. But when Thursday night's work engagement became highly optional (and off the clock) instead of mandatory, I lit out for Centro Monterrey like a fly towards an outhouse.

In an effort to maximize mongering funds I had decided to try and do things as cheaply as possible, and in Monterrey the degree of thriftiness possible is indeed impressive. The first order of business upon arriving in Centro at 5:30 on a rainy afternoon was a rather simple one: Get LAID! Cheaply. While the cheapest option I have found in Monterrey is 100 pesos for ½ hour including the massage room at Hawaii Masaje, partially because of the rain I headed to Premiere Masaje (on Carlos Salazar) first as it is a lot closer to the Central Bus Station where I always arrive. I could always do Hawaii for the second course.

And it's not like they're charging premium prices at Premiere, by any means. After 3 PM weekdays it's a whopping 130 pesos for ½ hour of full service including a covered BJ and multiple positions. The selection is not always great here, but there's a fat girl there that sucks a mean dick, and while I had passed on a bbbjtc for a 100 peso tip the last time, I was kind of keen on taking her up on it this past week. Except, predictably, she wasn't there.

So I had to quickly decide if any of the other 5 choices was worth the monger capital (money and leche). A rather young and firm looking chica with a nicely shaped ass certainly looked like a viable option, and I figured that for 13 bucks I didn't have much to lose. A good decision which would start the evening with a bang.

At Premiere you pay the boss lady at a desk by the door after you pick your girl instead of paying the girl when you enter the room as is the norm at almost every other place in Monterrey. The boss lady says she'll give me my 20 pesos change when I come out. No problem. Inside the room my 22 year old chica hands me a towel and says I can rinse off in the shower and she'll be right back. She flips on the TV and there's some 80's porn playing. I ask her her name and can't quite figure it out despite her repeating it twice. As an afterthought she asks my name too. Andrew Jackson.

I probably average a new massage girl in Monterrey every week or so, but there's a little anxiety that comes with itnot knowing what level of service to expect. In all the dozens of massage brothels in town your door fee gets you ½ hour of full service and includes a (sometimes extremely brief) covered bj. But in some places chicas like to play games and ask for tips up front for things that are most certainly universally standard at every one of these places like removing her top, feeling her up, etc. Whilemost chicas don't play by these rules, those that do can leave a bad taste in the mouth. These possible scenarios tend to get bandied about while standing naked waiting for the girl to return. With this one there wasn't a real need to worry.

She entered the quite large room, spread a sheet over the standard padded massage table, told me to relax on the table and then stripped to reveal an even nicer body than I thought when I saw her in the front room. Her tits were full B cups with ten peso sized nipples/aureolae, not much of a waist and the aforementioned VERY nice ass. She had the body of a 60 dollar Chicago Club (Tijuana) girl, but would need some makeup tips to work there. As I prefer a natural look, this wasn't a problem for me. Quite the opposite. A decent but less than perfect face is actually a bit of a turn on.

The standard covered BJ was a little short, but feeling her tits while she went down on me got me well elongated in a hurry. It seems like this is the signal for all Monterrey MP chicas to get to the screwing part, and she was no exception. Seemed like a good idea to me too, and I asked for her to climb on.

The sex that followed wasn't particularly hot and steamy. There was no kissing. She did moan convincingly enough, though, and got to breathing heavily and excitedly when I was on the verge of finishing, which was quite a turn on. But the reality was that for being the first girl of the week and rather attractive, it didn't take much to put me into overload mode. 10 minutes from start to finish and it was time to shower again. She showered first, though, and it was rather amusing watching her as I waited for her to finish as there is no shower curtain or door in the room I have used every time I have been to Premiere.

I showered, dressed and left, remembering to get my 20 pesos change as I walked out. This would be the first two beers at the next place I was going to.

Because of the rain I wanted to go to a bar that was close by, and only 3 blocks away was La Cava (600 block of Villagran), the first strip club I had ever visited in Monterrey. They also currently have a promotion of beers for 10 pesos until 7 PM, so that jibed well with the cheapness theme. Most importantly, though, the late afternoon lineup can have some actual attractive chicas (including an old fave -- though usually night shift -- that will occasionally leave with me for a hotel) which for a small club is hit and miss in Monterrey. And sure enough, as I entered and ordered the first Carta Blanca (NE Mexico's local beer of choice), an actual HOTTIE was onstage. B+ tits, no gut, nice ass made even more attractive by thigh high boots with 8" heels. Couldn't have been more than 21 years old. As a friend once described a dancer we were watching: Grade A choice prime Mexicana.

I took a seat stageside and the next thing I knew she was stripped fully nude and spread eagled a foot from my face. In many bars in Monterrey that's an invitation to dive in, but La Cava is a hands off place (though still pretty much a DUMP!). Still, it was enough to make me reflect that I was one happy poor man at the moment, premium pussy staring me in the face, ice cold beer in hand, and all that was expected of me for this privilege was the BUCK I paid for a beer. NOBODY tips dancers in Monterrey. It's against the goddamned law or something.

I had made up my mind to go against all principles and pounce immediately on the dancer when she emerged from the bathroom after her set. But she headed straight for some dude's table and continued drinking with him. As another dancer hit the stage after a one song Corrida interlude, I wasn't too awfully disappointed, as I got to finish my beer in peace and the dancer was just as interesting looking, though 50% bigger. She was wearing Daisy Dukes that were just loose enough that I could see her thong underneath when she bent over slightly. Oh, and she had natural DD's also, something that ALWAYS gets the blood pumping. I quickly got another beer at the bar and was happy to be only a dollar poorer for the transaction. This was turning into a fun afternoon!
The big titted girl also got fully nude and spread eagled in my face. And of course she also headed straight for another table when she finished! But as another chica followed immediately after her, again, there was no disappointment. The next dancer was tall and slimmer than either of the first too, but also had the smallest tits. She had terrific legs and a nice smile, though, and, DAMN, I like Mexicanas in all shapes and sizes, and this was becoming like a smorgasbord lineup!

Too add to the diversity, a quite Indian looking slim, VERY young looking long haired chica walked into the bar while girl #2 was onstage. She was dressed very conservatively in jeans and a sweater, and I thought that it would be a pity that I wouldn't see her dance as she'd surely go to the back of the rotation and there were 5 other girls I could already see in the bar. As it turned out, she was a new waitress, and while I originally thought her looks interesting, when I saw she wasn't a DANCER, the desire factor tripled. Funny thing, the next time I wanted a beer I asked her to fetch me one instead of walking the 15 feet to the bar to get it myself. For the second time that day I couldn't understand the name she told me, but a whopping 5 peso tip got a killer smile that sent the desire meter much higher. Except there wasn't much to do to try and take advantage of this situation except buy her ficha drinks for hours on end until MAYBE her shift ended and she'd be drunk and willing to spend some time outside the bar with me. A losing proposition if I'd ever seen one, but I'll DEFINITELY be back.

After three dancers and four beers, I decided that seeing some other sights was probably in order as the better looking chicas were apparently rather hooked up with ficha plying clientes. Stepping outside the rain had pretty much stopped, so I wasn't geographically limited to what was the closest bar that promised some diversion. I decided to pay a visit to Extasis, a small strip club that I hadn't been to in more than a month due to a rather bizarre last visit which had some drugged out hottie proclaiming her love for me and offering to pay ME to take her to a hotel. What she didn't tell me was there was some 40ish dude in a new car outside waiting to join us and that I would have to buy coke from the waiter to make sure the party was in full glory… But that's another story!

The short waiter gets REAL happy when I walk in and seats me and scurries off to get me some beers. 2x30 pesos (Victoria or Corona). A tall blonde chica named Xiomara is onstage, and she's pretty damned hot. Just A cups and skinny but with very nice, long legs. Another chica is in the glass walled shower near the bar putting on a show with the soap.

Pretty soon a chica comes out of the bathroom wearing a grim reaper costume. I look around and notice halloween decorations all over the bar. The grim reaper starts dancing around the bar. She isn't a bad dancer and with the costume on is really funny.

The hot blonde dancer finishes her set, and guess where she comes to plop her skinny little ass and put her clothes back on? Right next to yours truly. Interesting. She starts making small talk. Short waiter drops the ball, though, and comes over immediately and asks me if I wanna buy her a drink. Pay 7 bucks for 10 minutes of conversation? I'm not drunk yet, sorry!

As she leaves the waiter asks me why I haven't come around. 'Busy', I said. "And that CRAZY chick last time was pretty weird.'

The waiter tells me: "She's HERE. She was walking around in a skeleton outfit'! Uh oh!

Sure enough, she was on my lap seconds later. "I MISSED YOU! Why didn't you go with me last time? Wasn't me paying you 200 pesos enough?"

And that other dude? And the coke deal? Too weird for me…

"The waiter told you that I wanted Coke?" She asked incredulously. "Yeah, I deal drugs, but not HERE!"

She then starts rubbing my better half and telling me how much she wants to taste me and do me and have little Porkers… You know, pretty much like every other woman on the planet…

Like always I tell her that I don't believe her. She repeats these things several times over the next couple minutes but then fortunately leaves to go sit in some other guy's lap. It's not that she's unattractive at ALL. Most of you guys would think she's rather hot. She's tall, thin and young, no more than 19. But she has the wild eyes of a druggie, and that is NOT at all my thing.

As soon as she got up and left I noticed someone hitting the covered up buffet near the bar. One of the cool things about Extasis is that they serve free food in the afternoon. It's not the BEST food, but can be tasty, and free food is definitely my FAVORITE, so I head over and load up a plate of milanesa and cortadillo. Fitting in with the cheap theme, I had two beers and dinner for 30 pesos.

Seeing some rather sexy sights and having skanky girl rub my dick had made me a bit 'listo' for round two, and I figured I'd head to Club 69 Masaje on Arteaga to see my favorite DD cupped chica that I hadn't seen in a couple of weeks for no particular reason. I jumped on a bus (40 cents) and was outside the door 5 minutes later.

As I walk in a door guy tells me it's only 150 pesos for full service. I always pay 200. Is this barato-night FATE or what?

He calls for the chicas. The first name is 'J', then 'chicas'. 'J' pokes her head around the corner, sees me and smiles. I'm just a customer, I know, but it's nice to see a truly friendly face. But 5 chicas are suddenly in my face as well. The door guy asks if any will fit my bill. I pretend to do the eenie-meenie-miny-moe thing. It was kind of funny after a six pack. TWO OF US knew that I had come for one reason.

I grab her and head for the room. But she pulls another chica in with her. She tells me I should choose her friend too for a 'duplex'. I tell her 'NO, mi amor, you KNOW I only have eyes for YOU!'. She responds by pulling down the other chica's top and rubbing her nipples… Pretty fuckin' persuasive.

'My' girl is 24 with dyed honey colored hair to match her tanned looking skin, BIG droopy tits and silver dollar nipples. Her friend is 22, alabaster skin, thin, but with really nice hips, extremely firm B cup tits with dark purple nipples that were strangely indented. They were 'innies', something I'm not sure I have ever seen before. I was hooked, and I think they both knew it. But, of course, I had to negotiate with the bottom line in mind rather than the better half.

'How much? The guy told me it's only 150 pesos tonight'

'400 pesos'.

"I don't have that much".

"LIAR! You have 400 pesos!"

'Yeah, I have 400, but not 800'.

"It's 400 for both of us".

'Oh! (I knew that!). How much time, and you're really gonna do lesbian stuff?'

The fave laughs and tugs on her friend's tit. "One hour, No, but we'll screw the HELL out of you!".

I am REALLY excited about this!

I pay the 400, they leave, and I jump in the shower again. The friend comes in while I'm drying off and acts very shy. The fave enters right after her and sets up the sheet on the doctor's table. "You're gonnalike this", she says! I get a few precious squeezes of her AWESOME tits as she strips and sets up to do me.

She's first up, and starts with a covered BJ. Nice suction as always, but it's the groping of her tits that drives me CRAZY. And then I reach over and finger the shy new girl too, which is simply TOO much!

3 positions with the fave is only possible when I've had at least one other chica as an appetizer PLUS copious amounts of alcohol, both requirements which have already been met this evening. But somehow despite my excitement over the threesome, I feel in complete control of my better half. Pumping the fave long and hard like she DEMANDS feels REALLY good!

After about 15 minutes of massage table gymnastics with her while groping the new chica or having her behind me stroking my ass, the fave decides it's time to switch. She's up and off the table in a flash, and as a new condom is ripped open, I look down and notice that the first one is somehow already gone. I'm thinking that maybe those beers affected me a lot more than I thought! But I also realize that I have some sort of retarded permanent smile carved on my face. They slide the condom on, new girl applies a little lube, and I'm urged to get on top.

As I start pumping away with the new girl, the fave starts gently smacking my ass and telling me to give her 'all' my dick. I tell her, no, I don't wanna hurt her, she's kinda small, I'll only give her half. They both tell me she can take the whole thing. I dig a little deeper just to make sure, and the new girl starts squealing OH so erotically.

The fave then starts in on me to give her 'all my leche' too, and again, I protest, saying 'I have to save SOME for YOU, don't I?'. But when the new girl starts bucking her hips, I know that despite the original goal of spewing in both, this is gonna just be a fancy one shot deal. When the fave shoves a giant tit in my mouth after the smaller chica yells at her to 'give him a chichi', I finally got pushed over the edge. I put the whole weight of my body onto the tip of my dick and shot as deep as possibly could into the little white ball of fire.

I quickly realize that I am pretty damned TIRED after I shoot my load, but then I notice that the new girl is breathing a lot harder than I am. The fave is rubbing my chest, but the girl beneath me is simply lying with her eyes closed writhing against me. I would have never guessed that the shy little girl that had pretty much been force fed to me would turn out to be this HOT!

I shower after they both leave to go shower in another room, but the new chica comes back as I'm dressing. We make a little small talk and I tell her I had a really great time. She says she has worked there for a couple months and has seen me go with her friend before. I ask her to tell her friend how much I like her, and ask her why she's so cold toward me (a running joke).

As I leave and head for T-K-CH stripclub about 6 blocks away (corner of Madero and J.G. Leal) it hits home that I just had a double session for about 40 bucks including the room. And my victims were a chica with some of my favorite tits of all time and an early 20's cutie. I was still smiling when I paid the 20 peso cover to enter T-K-CH, and replayed the scene several times as I nursed beers through several chicas' strip sets. Suddenly the minute details of the chicas' looks and dress and routines wasn't as important as it seemed at the start of the day. I clearly remember that there were no losers on stage, but besides the fact that none of the club's legends danced in my hour in the bar, I don't remember much else other than them getting fully nude and for the umpteenth time that day sticking it directly in my face.

When 9:30 rolled around I realized that I still had a hard on. It had been about 90 minutes since I had finished with the double at the massage place, and I was drunkenly arguing with myself that the better half calling for a third session this quickly had to be a false alarm. But as I looked around the bar it became clear that I was indeed consumed with LUST and a desire to penetrate pretty much every female in the bar. In the interest of preserving funds, I left the bar and walked the 14 steps around the corner to Status II massage on Madero.

I walked up the steps, got buzzed in, and the older blonde door lady tells me full service would be 200 pesos, which I quickly agree to. Surprisingly her call for 'all the chicas' led to a lineup that approached double digits. It had been several months since I had been to this place close to 10 PM when the prices go up 50%, and my previous experience had been that chicas usually hide at this time of night so they can wait to make more money.

There were several OK choices in the lineup but nothing overwhelming. Until a young blonde with braces poked her head around the corner as I was trying to decide. She pulled her head back when she saw me look her way, then kind of laughed as she stuck her head out again while I strained for a better view. She was not just 'doable' but CUTE. We had a winner!

Except the door lady delivered the wrong girl. 'Uh, the OTHER blonde, the OTHER last one on the left'. Oh… Pretty soon she's walking toward me pointing at herself asking 'me?' Uh, if you want to… She skipped a double step and gave me a big smile. I suddenly remembered this chica, who I'd had a pretty good damned with the time before. I remembered her being young and giggly and weirdly affectionate, kind of like a teenaged rookie who didn't know what she was doing.

In a repeat of my first two massage visits, she (CiCi) disappeared while I jumped in the shower for the 5th time that night. She came back in as I was drying off and spread the sheet on the massage table. Covered BJ (w/ braces!) got me harder than I thought I was capable of after going limp in the shower, and the glee of the 15 minutes in three positions that followed was only interrupted slightly when she'd ask 'que' when I'd start smiling to mirror her goofy braces-clad grins. CiCi claimed to be 21, and looseness in the midsection was the only minor flaw in her fair skinned young body.

My memory of her previously was that she looked very much like a recent mother, as that was the best explanation for her extremely taut lower body and loose upper body. But a friendly one that appeared to be happily screwing her way to providing a living for her family. After yet another shower it was off to see one more strip show, have a couple more drinks and wind down before the trip home.

The final destination was a Metrorail ride to Imperio strip club on Colon, a couple blocks from the main bus station. It's a two drink minimum there after 8 PM, and it's 50 pesos for two. 10 PM sees both the day shifts and night shifts working, so the selection of 15+ chicas working can be rather impressive in such a small bar. 4 dancers hit the stage in the ½ hour I stayed, and the pace seemed very quick as each chica only did a 2 song set before getting topless. 3 songs is the norm in other bars, and at Infinito and Matehuala they get FOUR. I liked what I saw enough to strongly consider going to the ATM to get more ammunition to get some privado dances and ride whatever 'extra' wave might come about, but as a contact lens was bugging me and the bus schedule to go home was about to mandate a 3 hour holding pattern if I missed the last one in prime time, I thought better of things and headed for the bus home.

I hit deep, oblivious sleep almost instantly as soon as I leaned back into the deluxe reclining seat. Fortunately I always seem to wake up when the bus heads off the highway signaling home is 15 minutes away. In the intermission (unfortunately WALKING the last KM from the tourist bus drop off to my home in a steady rain at 1:30 AM. YUCK!) between waking up on the bus and sleeping the night off for REAL in my bed, I got the extremely satisfied feeling that only a night of EXCESS at the dens of debauchery can bring. Of course in my addict's mind, this feeling is quickly replaced by the big plans for what is going to come the next time the bank account fairy pays you a visit. I can't wait!!!

Forgive the Xenono moment here, BUT, Girl count after 4 ½ hours: 4