As Thebowler’s plane rose into the sky on it’s journey to the Land of Smiles Thailand, he looked through the framed view of the porthole. He looked down upon Los Angeles for the very last time……

Day 1

So I arrived at LAX and went to the EVA lounge which it slightly better than just waiting in the regular airport area. The only plus is free beer and free food but it's little things like crackers and so forth. Nothing fantastic. We got kicked out of the regular lounge and got sent to the business class lounge because we were drinking all the beer too fast. First class lounge is slightly better. Less beer in the 1st class lounge. The plane was good standard EVA Elite or Deluxe. If you book Elite or Deluxe be sure to flag down the Eva representative while you are in line and they will pull you to the front of the line.

So I got to Taipei….

Taipei lounge was nice and I got a shower at the EVA Lounge. Just give your boarding pass and you get a shower kit. Yes your boarding pass is held hostage until you give back your shower kit. Pretty cool but only 2 showers, both were empty so maybe I lucked out. It helped to kill the time.

I then boarded the plane to the highlight of the trip: Thailand

Arrived at the soob for the first time. Last time I was there I was departing. I like to have a Limo booked with a guy that has a sign with my name on it. Now there was a monger that upon hearing this declared that he could get to Bangkok faster by waving a few 100 baht in his hands and getting a taxi. At the time of that posting that particular monger was full of shit. There was only the Don Muang Airport at this time. I was much faster by having my limo guy waiting with the sign.

However…. now Thebowler is full of shit and that monger is the correct one at this time. Because the soob is a CLUSTER FUCK. You might have to walk up and down looking for the guy that is holding your sign and know they will misspell your name in Thailand, while the other guy just waves his cash and is on his merry way.

This time I booked a stretch limo and it wasn't the one in the picture. It was old but still all the windows were tinted but would serve its purpose for me getting blown by the bride-to-be. This I had waiting for me girl is getting married in December to some Marine stationed at Camp Pendleton. It will make the highlight reel of my life and that’s a big fucken reel. Highlight 783: Fucking the bride-to-be doggy style while driving in a stretch limo down a Thailand highway watching the other cars go by. The Devil himself was pointing up from Hell telling his servants to look at their next boss. I nutted in her but then again that does not take much time. Rested a little and made small talk. Then after a little while I felt like getting my cock sucked. So she did. CIM finish. I think a few people got a peek but you know how fast the traffic moves at some stretches. She will make a good wife for that Marine.

Went to the lobby and of course they had the 12th floor that I like but not the right side that directly faces the ocean but I had a nice girl and a rock hard dick that was ready to go. I would have the room changed later. Something about young Thai snatch that gives my cock super natural strength. So took the room and fucked her once more. Then gave her the boot.

Rested for a while then walked over to a beer bar that I like Sexy Bar on Soi 8. Completely dead. Walked toward the beach. I like to walk on the beach road side so I get a larger angle of view. Then I spotted her. The most delectable little spinner you could see. She was kinda of a cold fish but after I bar fined her she got real friendly. Like she was happy to have gotten bar fined. Brought her back to the room for another fucking then booted her. Showered then slept for about ½ hour and Soi 6 was calling me. Went over to Sexy Soi 6 and fucked a little plump hottie named SEE just an angel and sucks cock extra good for such a young gal. My legs were gone and I tripped down the stairs and knocked over the Buddha offering they laughed but I apologized profusely. Thebowler does not want bad Joo Joo.

Walked down to Happy Massage at the end of the Soi by the beach and got Anna sent over to my room. Nice gal 38 kilo. Nice smile that lights up the room. Fucked her in every position.

Later went to soi 7 and fucked the beautiful May from BEER GARDEN BAR? Spinner of course kept her the night. Bowler was tired and so he slept.

DAY 2

Thebowler laid on the bed, the shafts of sunlight spearing through the windows gently caressing his Adonis sculpted body while the luckiest girl in Thailand was dutifully performing the ancient art of fellatio…..

May was a real trooper. She did a good job of chopping Thebowler’s sizable morning wood. I was feeling lazy so finished inside her cowgirl then broomed her. Got out to discover I was richman poor man. Money exchange was not open yet so I had 100 baht to my name (since the hotel safe at the Sunshine Hotel is not open this early in the morning) I settled for the McDonalds 85 baht breakfast so a valuable lesson was learned: Bowler has to learn the art of the budget.

I hate to budget. Just fucken hate it. Budgeting is an act of the weak slave mind but the point of this post is not about Bowler’s awesome wisdom on life so I will continue…

The earliest exchange is 8:30 over by hmmmm. Well you walk all the way from the Sunshine Hotel straight out and go to the far main street then make a right I think? Well it is an 8:30 am open exchange. After exchange I went to get a foot massage across from my favorite breakfast place Ohlala. Funny thing happened on the way to the massage..yup I found a hot skinny girl to fuck took her back and got blown on the balcony, broomed her then went to the foot massage and met 2 fun Thai girls, so much fun I had breakfast with them across the street at Olala. The girls seemed to love this and enjoyed the celebrity that comes with being in the presence of Thebowler. They were waving at all their buddies and were both very happy. It's not everyday the girls get to dine with such a handsome man. Or were they just showing off because they got the dumbshit falang to buy them breakfast? I prefer to think what is most flattering to me.

So what do Jason, Freddy, Thebowler, and a hand basket all have in common? They have all went Hell! Went to the hell club after selecting my 2 girls. My video of choice was an awe inspiring well filmed movie entitled: Teenage Spermaholics. I had two 20 year old girls lezzing off and sucking my cock. I bellowed with laughter looking up at myself on the ceiling mirror as I lay on the bed. My legs were spread and my arms were outstretched. I was like DaVince’s Vitruvian Man except with a bigger cock and having added the beautiful silhouettes of two young Thai Girls kneeling and sucking my cock. I will never look at Da Vince’s “Vitruvian Man” the same way again. I then stood on the bed and took turns putting my bare cock in each of their mouths. From mouth to mouth with no wiping off between switching mouths. Had them deep French kiss each other as well. Then I laid down and had them take turns riding Bowlers Baloney Pony while I DFK’d the other and had my hands all over their perky young titties the whole time. I then slammed the favorite doggy style while the other was kissing me and squeezing my balls so as to get all of Bowlers special Soi Sauce blasted out.

On weak knees I staggered back to the counter to pay the bill. The owner is a rough and tumble guy, polite but looks like he can physically throw out most mongers if he had to, genuinely cared about if I had a good time.

Went backed to Soi 8 as I was “livin my vision” as I was walking I heard “Bowler!!” Amazing how these girls remember your name a fucken year later. Maybe it’s just me as I do have a titanic amount of charisma. Picked up Jai on Soi 8…. a real fuck horse. This girl has a boyfriend from another country paying her bills but oh well. She was a tireless cocksucker and very laidback. Kicked her out before dark.

Slept for about 1 hour. Went to Soi 6 again and fucked a pretty skinny Issan girl at Sexy Soi 6. Seems the sweetest girls are from Issan. Went to No 1 massage on Soi 6 and picked up my cutie Anna and took her back and humped her mercilessly. Picked up Jai later and lost all my bodliy fluids. The girl could out fuck any porn star there is. Sweet disposition as well. Freelances at Sexy Bar on soi 8. Has a guys sending her money to pay the bills. Kept her the night and provided her with the night of her young life.

DAY 3

Thebowler was laying in a state of calm. This magnificent place is rarely frequented by a man that possesses a great amount of charisma and magnetism. However these qualities are as much a blessing as they are a curse. They are known as the spoils of victory. To wake up in the soft white sheets with a beautiful Thai girl and no schedules or appearances to make is pure Nirvana to Thebowler…….

So there I am in the morning and the luckiest girl (Jai) in Thailand is sucking my cock. CIM and I am a happy Bowler. No swallowing but she did not go and wretch like a cat spitting out fur ball for 5 minutes either. Bowler’s Soi sauce only comes in large economy size. Actually talked to Jai, she is quite nice and I can see how guys really fall for these Thai Angels. Went out and had breakfast with the 2 massage girls at Olala. I had my nooner massage girl Anna come over for some more fucking. Followed with a quick massage to sooth me. After we went to big C to eat and I wanted to see a movie. We ate at some little hot pot place. Cannot remember the name but you walk in through the doors of the Big C place and go to the left and it is right there. The waiters and waitresses sing and dance too, like you are on a cruise ship. Movie selection sucked so I went back to room to check internet.

After a brief nap I thought I’d try the Royal Gardens Plaza. I ventured forth walking down soi 8 toward beach road. On my way to the movies..a funny thing happened. As you know it is an incredibly long walk down Soi 8 without my dick getting hard. I happened to see……the most beautiful creature. Her friend says “do you like my friend” I say your friend is fucken beautiful. 2 minutes later I am walking back to the room with her to the room with her. Had to pay the 300 bar fine so that was the 2 minute delay. Young gal of 18 has the sweet innocent looks but she smokes and has small shoulder tattoos so it turns me on. MMMMM the fallen angel. I like to fuck fallen angels.

Well after she showers being the gentleman that I am, I thrown the pillow on the floor. This is the Q for any good girl to get on her knees and start sucking bowler cock. She says No.? Says my cock is too big too smoke. I say it's not to big. Felt like I was in the movie full metal jacket. After 2 minutes I tell her to put her clothes and that we will go back to the bar to get my money back. She sadly says okay, here is your money back and hands out 300 baht to me. I look her in the eye and say "I don't want your money sweetheart….. I will get my money back from bar, now put on your fucking clothes and lets go! Hurry! Put on your fucking clothes now!”..…… so 30 seconds later she is on her knees sucking my cock. Bad blow job she must be used to sucking Thai boyfriend micro penis. So my victory was limited. Laid her down and made her go to the Rodeo yup she was cowgirl. Finished doggy style. Over in about 3 minutes. Paid her 1000 Baht Tip. Because immediately after fucking she announced she had to go back to bar because some falang paid for her to be there at 8. So fucked I a hot tight 18 year old pussy for 1000 baht. Not a bad deal.

Went to stop by my friends bar. My friend is now a mamasan of “The Chicken Coop”, so the girls have to impress bowler. Make friends with a mamasan and it’ll make all the difference. She introduced me to 3 girls I liked. When lucky girl number 2 announced her name was “Bang” the scales tipped into her favor. Bar is a little bitty place. This girl was rocking me all night . From a dead sleep I can say to her "suck my cock" and she goes to work. Different from our wives huh? If I barked out “suck my cock” to my wife I might not have a cock when I wake up. Anyway she cock sucked on balcony, while watching TV, standing in the middle of the room she would probably say….

I would suck you cock on a train, suck your cock on a plane, suck your cock with a fox, suck your cock in a box, yes I would suck bowler’s hahm, yes I would Bang I am!

Uhhh sorry about that…..anyway she also fucks like champ. I could also get 4 fingers up to the last knuckle up her cunt. I was trying for the whole fist but it wasn’t meant to be. Almost pushed that last ridge of 4 knuckles through then would have had the whole hand in. Me and my buddies were in search of fisters. But none of us were successful. Took Bang to a movie took then took her back to the BOOM BOOM ROOM. Just like when the President of the United States boards any plane, that plane immediately has it’s call sign changed to AIR FORCE ONE..… Similarly any room Thebowler takes residence in is to be immediately known as THE BOOM BOOM ROOM.

DAY 4

Our hero Thebowler knew he was living on borrowed time. He realized that his trip would come to and end, thus newly found home in Nirvana was not a permanent state of residency. In not too long he would be thrust back into his world of public appearances and people who so desperately needed his acknowledgment. But for now he was happy to be off the grid…..

Bang was sucking my cock this morning as per usual and yes by now you know this made her the luckiest girl in Thailand. It is truly a wonderful thing to open your eyes in the morning and a see a hot 19 year old girl’s head bobbing up and down on your cock. I got such a kick out of this girl that we went to the crocodile farm that day and she really liked it. Called her mama and went on and on about how great I was. Mama was thrilled she was with the legend himself, “Thebowler”. We slept on the ride back home and we fucked back at the room. Rested. We then did dinner at Ohlala of course. Came back to my room and she sucked my chorizo dry fucked some more. Kept her the night.

After the morning ritual of chopping Bowlers wood, she said she had to go and open the bar at 1:00 so I said sure I'll get you later about 7:00PM….. hmmmmm what to do with the free time on my hands?........................ J

After Bang went out and then I relaxed at my room nitnoy (little bit). Then I went to Soi 6 (am I predictable?) fucked a couple of girls at Sexy Soi Six and Red point and got a long oil massage. Man how time flys by when you are at the happiest place on earth. Then I went to the chicken coop bar to pick up bang. she wasn't there. The mamasan Mem told me she went to shower and would be right back. I ordered some pineapple drinks they come from a skinny can and is standard fare in the Pattaya bar scene. Just say “sapporote” and they will give you pineapple drink. I ordered because I like mamasan Mem and want to see her be successful in her business and not have to suck an endless stream of cocks the rest of her life. So I drank pineapple juice for about ½ an hour waited for Bang. I asked Mem “are you sure she did not go with a customer?” Mem said no way. I asked to see the book and Mem acted like I didn’t know what I was talking about. So much for friends huh? During the 1 hour I spied 3 candidates to receive Thebowler's sizable endowment. Waiting for a girl in Thailand? WTF? Really. I stood up and declared “I WANT THAT ONE”…… It was the lovely miss Dow.

Dow was shy in the bar hiding behind another girl who was a jaded vet of the bargirl scene. She hid out of respect for Bang I think. So we walked to the hotel…..YEAH RIGHT actually caught the nearest baht bus, like I am fucken walking in 2000 percent humidity. Made small talk and she was delighted with the room and the view. As we overlooked Soi 8 from my balcony I was behind her kissing her neck and shoving my hand down her shorts to do the shaved pussy test. My cock was ready to bust through my shorts as usual. Her pussy was not shaved but light. Bowler likes. I turned her to face me. She turned around and starting sticking her tongue down my throat. She had me in a grip. Remember that movie ALIEN when the alien grabs the poor victims face and starts shoving it’s tounge down the throat to implant the egg and the poor bastard has no chance? Yup that’s what I felt like. She is the gene simmons of bargirls. My hand grabbed the back of her head and the other released the snaps on my shorts then I shoved my boxers down. Time to issue the “Thebowler’s gag order”. Before I could do my patented bowler move of "push the head down to let the cock sucking commence move"….. She went down on her own!!! She went down faster than a Minneapolis bridge, faster than a Russian satellite, faster then a Jew running in Nazi Germany, faster than…..okay you get the idea. When the Dow goes down in Thailand it is a good thing J Yes she could deep throat, yes she swallowed load. The girl never tires!!! Remember I can lay a fucken on a girl most guys can’t even dream of when I choose too. It’s one of the reasons I like Thailand. No girl calling you a billion times. Ranting in messages on the cell phone to call them. But that is what happens when you possess the ability to send girls into “cum coma”. If you cant relate it because you can’t lay down the fucking like Thebowler can. I do favor the short sessions but every once in a while I want to stretch my legs a little J.

Every time I would lazily wake my eyes from sleep it would be her eyes looking into mine just waiting for a sign of life. Before I could say or react she would dart her head down under the blanket the movement being similar to a seal when she ducks her head under water to go get something. Instaed of a fish in the seal’s case it was a bone-a-fide Bowler Salami Dow would be finding. She would start off sucking my cock and then fuck me afterward. I wasn’t doing the fucking. DOW was doing the fucking she would cowgirl me jackhammer style until my sizable load was dispensed.

Warning: A mere mortal monger should not take this girl under any circumstance. Stay away from Dow it will be your ruin. So much for a shy bargirl. WOW. I mean DOW.

DAY 5

Thebowler stealthily slipped out of bed and went onto the balcony to gaze at the sun sequined ocean. He admired the calm of the sea and inhaled the smell of street foods and exhaust from Soi 8 below. Thebowler wished he could live the rest of his days on earth as today………..

So woke up with my balls aching and decided I needed to drink gulp down some water. I saw that Dow was starting to come to life and I walked out on the balcony because my Soi Sausage had gotten o fierce licking at the mouth of Miss Dow. After a moment of reflection, I came back into the room to make her (DOW) the luckiest girl from village of Suckareet. She does good “UM KOI”. I was in danger of dehydration and this lovely suck machine had taken so much fluid from me that if I were at a spermbank the staff would have thought the U.S. Marine Core had come to town. I would stand on shaky legs for hours after her departure. I Shoved Dow out the door as she told me to call her later and slammed it and stood with my back against the door scared that the lovely cum milking monster would break it down and run my cock to the point of failure.

Slept for 2 hours then called up and had arraignments for Bang to go to Bangkok with me. For a 95 lb Thai girl, Bang eats LIKE A GOD DAMNED HORSE so first breakfast. Then boarded the taxi and we left for President Solitaire Bangkok. Segway: Hey she does “Bang Cock” now that I think of it…..uhhh yeah….Anyway she loved the room of course, and while she was looking all over I was dropping my pants. Brought her over for a whole 5 seconds of passionate kissing which is a lifetime and a dream come true for a Thai Girl in of itself. I unbuttoned her pants, pulled them down to her ankles put her doggy style on the edge of the bed then pumped her with no regard for decency or human life. Came in about 20 seconds. Walked away washed my cock off with the anti bacterial soap I always bring, then ceremoniously announced I needed to nap. She watched TV and liked the big screen plasma. I woke up and had her suck my cock and cowgirl finish me. I then declared I wanted to see a movie. She wanted to eat of course and go shopping. Went to a movie at Siam Paragon and shopping. I bought her jeans and some shirt and she kissed me all over. Later I put her doggy style on the bed with her face pointed toward the new clothing so she would understand nothing was free. Fucked her continuously of course through the night. Later in the evening as I was fucking her she told me it “jep” She started to say “jep too big” at 4:00 am and to “finish” (yes Tijuana flashbacks ensued) and said that I “boom boom too much”.
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I pulled my dick out and threw her legs to the side and told her to go back to Pattaya. If I want bad sex I can go to America. She started crying and I told her to get dressed I told her I would pay her the nightly sum early and it seemed to dry up her tears in short order.

DAY 6

Thebowler did something this morning in Asia that he rarely did. He woke up alone. He was wondering if perhaps his actions of a few hours ago were rash………..

So this morning there was no lucky girl in Thailand sucking my dick L Hmmmm maybe the decision to throw her out was made a little quickly. Because now I had morning wood with no one to chop it down but myself L. Note to self: throw them out after the morning blowjob!!! This is what happens when your dick does the thinking for you. So I had breakfast… ALONE, but my trip was renewed not being limited to 1 Pooying. Hard to be limited to 1 Pooying because I tend to wear it out. After breakfast I swam in the nice seemingly perpetually empty pool of the hotel. Washed up and walked over to charming bar (note when I say walked I take the free tuk tuk service from the hotel then walk from Sukhumvit) no dice girls were not to my tasting. Melody bar same same. Stopped and had a foot massage and then to my hotel room to nap.
So I decided to walk to Nana Plaza area. It's too long for me but I needed the exercise. Funny thing happened on the way to Sukhumvit….I saw a massage parlor sign and went in and got jacked off at “Sabai Sabai Massage” the girl was hot slim and 19 and jacked me off twice in the hour. She said Bowler was very strong. She wise for her young age I says. Then I went to Sukhumvit and got a foot massage and head massage. The real head not Thebowler’s magic mushroom head. Then went over to Dynasty to sit at my perch and look at the melody girls. Melody girls were fat this year so I didn't get any of them. It breaks a bowler tradition of not slamming the ham to a nice melody girl.

As I was sitting there in a happy daze watching all the young lovelies walk by I hear “No good” I turn to look and this little girl was talking to me about 14 years old. I said “WHUT”?? “YOU TALKING TO ME”. Most men wet their pants when I look at them like that but this little girl responds with “UGLY NO GOOD” This made me laugh. I said me beautiful hansom man sweetie Not ugly” She pointed to my shoes and said no good, ugly. I said no my shoes are okay, she insisted no. I gave her 50 baht just to shut her the fuck up. She tried to upgrade with shoe whitener and smell good and other stuff during the course of her shoe cleaning. I said no to all upgrades. Never saw this before. Two minutes after she left I here “Ugly no good”. Yup another shoe shine girl assuring me that the last girl did a bad job. Good training for a future bargirl to tell the customer that her friend does bad work. So beware the shoe shine girls, but love the bargirls!

After I finished with my meal and was walking I saw the sweetest slimmest girl and I said "where YOU going?" She smiled and said with you. I said fucken right you are going with me. Took her to the room for a quick leg spreading her name was NAN then went to the movies with her. Sat at the enigma at Siam Paragon 3000 baht for 2 people. Bowler makes good money so I hope the cheaper bastards on this board don’t cry to much about this. It’s my fucken money and I will do what I want with it. The seat is more of a bed and you get blankets and mixed drinks and food delivered to you. Like watching a movie in your hotel room but the screen is fucken big. You can easily get blown in this theater but I did not. Bowler likes the movies. It was a Jason Stratham movies. I could kick his ass in less than 40 seconds. That’s a high compliment to him, most fights with me last all of 7 seconds. One punch its over, 3 at most as I am getting old.

Some dumbass falang did not stand when the theater played the king's little movie and his Thai girl gave him a glare that could set a petrified forest on fire. He stood and she was sweet as freshly shaved pussy right out of shower was again. Let me pause while I think of that freshly shaved pussy…..ahhhhh…….. okay where was I? Oh yeah the dumbass falang…he just didn't know is all. It wasn't about being an American asshole. I knew the drill because the good gentlemen on this board had posted about this. Thank you gents. Brought my girl backed and fucked her constantly little trooper she was. Oh she was about 90 pounds and stood about 5’2 I was quite happy Bang was gone now.

DAY 7

Thebowler woke not at peace this morning but with the feeling of an impending loss approaching like the footsteps of doom itself. Soon the dreamtime would be over and the self proclaimed King of Thailand would be on a plane back to America……

So this time the luckiest girl in Thailand woke up to thebowler hoisting her ass up in the air for a bowler sized doggy style fucking. She accommodated by crossing her legs kinda Indian style while in the doggy style position. Now words cannot describe how beautiful that really is. It is one of those pictures that you will remember the rest of your life in your mind. Hard to believe my man hammer could disappear into such a little slit. Slammed it good then went to have breakfast downstairs for free. At breakfast many unhappy fat pig white tourist ladies were scowling upon seeing me with a girl 1/2 my age. I just looked at them with a "I’ll fuck you too smile" on my face. They looked away immediately. Their boyfriends did not dare look or even glance my way. Not out of fear or intimidation but they knew their eyes would bounce off of me and onto the girl. Their wives would know that and then the ball busting would commence. The guys wished they were me. As they should. I hope those men grow a set of balls and come back to partake in the many pleasures the Land of Smiles has to offer. Took the lovely NAN back to the room, gave her a tip then sent her on her merry way.

I went to the pool to swim and came out to rest on the beach chair. I soaked up contentment like a sunbather soaks up the sun. Rested here for a little while. No meeting, no schedules, no needy girls calling you all day. Just peace. Just rest. Just whatever the fuck I want. I love this country. I love Thailand. I can almost hear the Thai national anthem in my head.

Got up to my room and called sabai sabie massage and the lovely Miss Som came up. Lew the jack off princess from earlier wasn't available. I asked for the same as Lew 19 skinny and hot. She said she had a beautiful 24 year old girl, I told her that was an old lady I needed a girl 18 or 19. She agreed and I was stunned when this beauty knocked on my door being escorted by the military guard looking guy. President Solitaire Bangkok does take care of it's guests. She did a great oil massage and did a better blowjob and I finished her doggy. Then I decided to go to sukumvit but first a nap.

I took a nap because my energy was spent. I then went to sit on my perch at the dynasty inn eating my regular staple of chicken wings and coffee even added the shrimp cocktail. I noticed a lovely gal by the name of hmmmmm? Forgot her name. She was from Melody Bar though got her because she just seemed very attentive when I went over. Thought she had a great smile and I took her to the room to boom boom. Chemistry was good. She said Gin Cow afterward which means your Thai girl is hungry and needs to be fed. I then took her to my favorite place in Bangkok on Soi 7. She asked me if she could order the fish with those longing black doe eyes that Thai girls possess………How could a bowler say no? We ate. I bought Underdog and Shoot Em up to watch on my dvd player in the room. Shoot Em up did not work but underdog did. So I watched it and laughed my ass off as the girl sucked me off during the movie then propped my head up on her lap while she sat Indian style and massaged my head. I fucked her again after the movie as well.

Boom Boom Too Much Alert!!

This girl ran off screaming at about 1:00AM in the morning saying “jep too much boom boom” I smelled discount and gave her 1500 baht for her trouble. I got showered and the whole president staff knew me by this time. The girls giggle and the guys look at me like "impossible one man fucks this much" The guys ask where is my friend and I tell them “Me too strong” laughter ensued by the men and the ladies held their dainty hands over there mouths trying to hide the smile that so desperately wanted to be born.

So went to Angels disco 3:00AM closing time. Some good eye candy but the girls seem too much into the single life to provide good “worship service” to Thebowler. So went to Melody Bar. Closed. Went to Nana Hotel parking lot. A fight broke out at the corner of Soi 4 and Sukhumvit between 2 Japanese guys. Me and a pair of Aussies were shouting for some real punches to be thrown. No wonder the Japanese lost the war. They fight like pussies. I was about to just knock the big one out to show the crowd how to throw a fucken punch. But I was on vacation. The cops showed up and stopped it. Not a beat down like I would expect from Bangkok Cops. The cops were reasonable. I would have busted a skull open just to show the crowd that Vengeance is mine sayeth Thebowler and no fighting in Bowlerville without my approval. Every country handles things their own way. Walked the 50 yards back to Nana Plaza having seen the powder puff girls attempt a fight. I was about to bail because the total submersion in the land of women peppered with the ladyboys was corrupting my hard drive and good judgement. On a previous report I had to kick out a pair of ladyboys from my room. One is world fanmous and her name is “Areeya”. Anyway the non girls were getting harder to filter, some of those ladyboys are pretty sons of bitches.

So I met this nice girl named NAT she was very interesting and I actually talked to her for a long time. speaks good english. Decent blowjob. Good doggy. Bragged in a cavalier way about the dumb Aussies and Canadians that send her 50,000 Baht sometimes to take care of her. She also told me how she tells them about her dead mom (stomach cancer) to get more money. She said she would see me again after she left for the next night but had a customer lined up. Big black African guy. Well that cancelled the deal because I didn’t need to fall into a cavernous pussy the next night. I promised her I would call just to get better service. Humped her until about 5:30AM then gave her the boot.

DAY 8

The saddest day of the year had finally arrived. It was the day that Thebowler would have to leave his paradise……………….

Woke up around 10:00AM and was out of Toilet paper after the shower. So I pushed the button to have the room maid come up. Took the free Tuk Tuk to Sukhumvit while the room was being remade. Walked by a pretty gal on the way to the Starbucks. I knew the room was being made up so I bought some lube and Durex at the pharmacy and asked her if she knew where a short time room was. Of course she did. Thai Durex XL condoms must be for kindergarteners because they were way small. Always carry your American condoms because you never know what you might come across in a country stocked with beautiful women. She provided a great blowjob and even swallowed my load for 1000 more baht!! Down the hatch with a smile!! No gag. No Tears. So cool.

Went back to my room and started packing for the flight home. While I was packing I had a thought…... call up and have a massage girl sent over fuck her then have her pack my stuff! I am a fucken genius!!! So I did and was supplied in 10 short minutes with a hot 19 year old masseuse. She blowed good then cowgirled. In the middle of cowgirl my phone rings and the guy says my limo is early and ready to go. I answered because they kept calling. She is riding the boloney poney and I say I am in the middle of something... I’ll be down at 1:00 as was booked. So she finished me and I paid her and got dressed and got in the President Solitaire provided limo for the sad sad depressing give me my 45 automag I am gonna kill somebody angry fucken ride to the airport ride.

AIRPORT

They did not charge me the 500 baht exit fee this time which was cool. Leaving is much better than arriving because of all the shops the soob has to offer. Decent food selection I normally go to this New York Style sandwich bakery place. That or the Burger King. Did not bother with the lounge at the Soob. I actually don’t know if they even have one.

TAI PEI AIRPORT

Snooped around a little then went back to the lounge. The lounge seems to be eternally crowded. The food there is not all that great. Free internet about 8 or so computers I guess but getting one is the trick. If you walk too slowly to the lounge then you might not get a seat at a computer. Lounge also has video games. I do not know if it was Xbox or PS2 or 3. The game was a very gay tennis game. I am a gamer but I like killing zombies and killing things. Cant’s wait for RE5 to come out. So I sat at an empty place and finished off the Dead Zone (king) then moved onto Next (Crichton). Then boarded the plane. My free upgrade was fucken cool!!! I like 1st class. Had the perfect fucken passenger sit next to me. Did not say a fucken word to me!! He said excuse me the 3 times he need to crap. Other than that he was absolutely the best passenger that I have ever sat by. I have sat by the lady hacking ebola. I have sat next to Pavortti’s (God rest his sole what a talent he graced this earth with) baby. I have sat next to the world’s fattest woman. It was a nice change of pace not wanting to lobotomize the person next to you with a fork.

So that ended my fantasy get away. Now it’s back to the cubicle where the world’s greatest monger will lie in wait for the next 355 days.

I will answer any details you may want to know just ask. Thanks for being riveted to my words once again.

Fascinating!

So TheBowler had a good time!

All the best,

jH

Great Report!!!! Couldnt stop laughing.

So the Thebowler a good boom boom he had. (To be read with the voice of Yoda). A good LOL funny report but Bowler I am worried about you its obvious that you have an inferiority complex, nice to read you are handling it so well.

Thanks again for the good laugh.

Pretty amusing TR. So when is the Bowler going to buy a camera? We'd love to see some proof of these conquests. Thanks for the report

pics to come. My report style is how i see things through my mind. I will be the first in line to laugh at myself. Glad you liked the report.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention, the departure fee is now included in any international ticket you buy leaving Thailand. And it's been raised to 700 baht.

Big Poppa Thanks. I was thinking how great it was there was no fee

that report was fucking awesome. The narration provided is movie like quality. I have 3 weeks off this year, I am sold on booking a Bangkok-Pattaya-Phuket excursion.

"I unbuttoned her pants, pulled them down to her ankles put her doggy style on the edge of the bed then pumped her with no regard for decency or human life."..LMAO


Well done Bowler..looking forward to seeing the pics.

Old school - that's a great choice. While Pattaya is a mandatory visit, too many people get tunnel vision and never see any of the real Thailand.

There's female fun to be had in Bangkok and Phuket too, but the best way I think to visit those places is not to center everything around mongering, make mongering the nightcap and do just the opposite for Pattaya.

"The real Thailand" yeah it's sad. I have yet to visit 1 temple after 4 trips. I did go on the floating martket this time and i always like going to the crocodile farm. Those fuckers are mean!! I also went on the cruise ship boat down the river and you do see many wonderful things that look great lit up at night. Remembering your chica's face in the foreground will stick with you forever.

Probably the best thing to do is schedule your tours and pick up times at the front desk before you get wrapped up in the chicas which is not hard to do.

Is the TheBowler related to TheWarrior from ch124?

I think there might be a relation to some old WWE wrestler, like Brutus Beefcake or Ravishing Rick Rude.

The Bowler - You are Sick ..LOL this is some funny shit!
I enjoyed it way to much .. All of 2008, If ever I catch my self cupcakin & trying to keep a bitch the whole trip I will call it " Bowler Bang Bitches" I cant wait to BBB chicks.

Love your Mongering skills FNT {Fuck no Tuck)

Keep up the Hard work ..were the HELL is the Pics?

Pics coming my man.
As for the WWE analogies...Come on guys! WWF and Ted Dibiasse the million dollar man, boys. (But hung like Andre the Giant).

Awesome ! Simply Awesome. It blows my skirt up the way you talk about your self second person " The Bowler"
Funny Shite, Man I cant screw like that for extended days. Tried in Costa Rica once & got tendonitus in my thighs so bad I had to walk like a constipated hundred year old.
Great Report.

Nice report. I am a fan of soi 6 - My favorite is Red Point.. I also like #1 Massage get 2 hr foot massage and 2 hour oil almose every day.

Good luck awaiting pics

TM - I'm there for the month o February.

so i will now tryu to post some pics for authentication purposes

Photo: Zoo 01

Photo: Zoo 02

Photo: Zoo 03

Photo: Zoo 04

my hotel room sunshine soi 8

Photo: Blue Shirt 05

Photo: White Shirt 06

Photo: White Shirt 07

Photo: Red/White Dress 08

Photo: Red/White Dress 09

Photo: Red Shirt 10

Photo: Red Shirt 11

Photo: Pink Pair 12

Photo: White Outfit 13

Photo: Brown Dress 14

the above pic is just so you newbies might find when running into a bathroom cause you gotta go..

Photo: Good Book 15

Photo: Peace 16

Photo: Thin 17

Photo: Black Dress 18

Photo: Jeans 19

Photo: Heels 20

Photo: Nude 21

Photo: Thin 22

image{5}

Photo: Nude 23

the squatting girl is NAT

the girl in black mini is the one that said my cock was to big

the girl in the elephant photos is bang

the funny girl reading the boow is dow

the "eyes" picture is JAI

the construction photo is shot from 12th floor sunshine hotel on soi 8. supposed to be a big ass mall

Nice feet.

Thanks for that.

I assume GCL is referring to the girls' feet, not the prominently displayed elephant feet. At least I can hope.

Laguy as you know with GCL you never know??? - Hemp

Bowler

I'll be damned. I almost fell off my chair when I saw the photo.The girl in the black dress and white purse in my old friend Mem who was my ex GF Da's best friend. Last I heard she had married her longtime Thai boyfriend and had left the bar scene. Where is she working now ?? She never really liked farang and was not a very good lay. Hope she has gotten better if she wants to survive in the bar world. Small fuckin world.

The girl in the red shirt is way too cute. My kind of girl for sure.

Oh oh, Khun Mor is having MEMories....

Horrible pun , but MEMories indeed.

She was not a great lay but was a whole lot of fun to get drunk with . Da rarely drank much and became comatose after 2 drinks so Mem and I became drinking buddies and we would have a blast in the Thai nightclubs. She spoke only about 10 words of English as of 2 years ago. She actually had a tremendous sense of humour - but you had to speak Thai to appreciate it ! Wonder how she is now ?? Bowler I did not see any mention of her in your report unless she has changed her name. Any comments ?

Gcl: I am not into the licking of the feet thing but I do not knock you

Khun Mor: The gal in the red shirt was fun. A three holer. She had this really fun personality. Bubbly. I was walking down beach road to walking street early in the morning and she runs across the street dodging cars to get to me. The girl in the black dress was working on soi 8 as of September. Hot lean body the bar I cannot remember but it was next to prince hotel. She was the girl that didn’t want to suck my dick because “it too big” She was lazy is all” for not liking farangs she sure ran out the door to make her appointment with the farang that booked her. Pattaya is a small worl huh brother? Here is her portion of the report so you don’t have to look around

“…After a brief nap I thought I’d try the Royal Gardens Plaza. I ventured forth walking down soi 8 toward beach road. On my way to the movies..a funny thing happened. As you know it is an incredibly long walk down Soi 8 without my dick getting hard. I happened to see……the most beautiful creature. Her friend says “do you like my friend” I say your friend is fucken beautiful. 2 minutes later I am walking back to the room with her to the room with her. Had to pay the 300 bar fine so that was the 2 minute delay. Young gal of 18 has the sweet innocent looks but she smokes and has small shoulder tattoos so it turns me on. MMMMM the fallen angel. I like to fuck fallen angels.


Well after she showers being the gentleman that I am, I thrown the pillow on the floor. This is the Q for any good girl to get on her knees and start sucking bowler cock. She says No.? Says my cock is too big too smoke. I say it's not to big. Felt like I was in the movie full metal jacket. After 2 minutes I tell her to put her clothes and that we will go back to the bar to get my money back. She sadly says okay, here is your money back and hands out 300 baht to me. I look her in the eye and say "I don't want your money sweetheart….. I will get my money back from bar, now put on your fucking clothes and lets go! Hurry! Put on your fucking clothes now!”..…… so 30 seconds later she is on her knees sucking my cock. Bad blow job she must be used to sucking Thai boyfriend micro penis. So my victory was limited. Laid her down and made her go to the Rodeo yup she was cowgirl. Finished doggy style. Over in about 3 minutes. Paid her 1000 Baht Tip. Because immediately after fucking she announced she had to go back to bar because some falang paid for her to be there at 8. So fucked I a hot tight 18 year old pussy for 1000 baht. Not a bad deal”

she did not say her name was mem is was some other 3 letter name.

Why did you pay a beer bar girl 1,000ST when the service was bad? Beer bar girls still go for 500ST and only 1,000 if she stays with you a while and provides good service. She is hot but not a gogo girl and not in Bangkok.

You might want to change your approach with Thai girls. Barfining them 3 seconds after meeting them and immediately throwing a pillow on the ground and asking the girl to suck dick is rarely going to get you a positive response, even from the most hardcore girls.

Did all the hot chicks vacate LoS?

Perhaps walkingdude has them holed up on the sidelines awaiting his arrival ;)

Blazers: I thought 1000 was short time. 500 you say? Never heard of anyone paying that little but you do have more experience than me in this area. So far my pillow hitting the ground has been okay for me.

Don Marcos: had hotter girls but don't want to take more than 3 seconds talking them into taking a pic. I got a rock hard dick to deal with. After i cum i tend to lose all interest in the girl and want to nap.

Bowler
Not to burst your bubble but Mem was 18 when I first met her 5 years ago.Many girls use multiple bar nicknames so not surprising she has changed . Her real nickname is mem as she used it socially and her Thai husband used it as well. I met him quite a few times not a bad guy. Guess he threw her ass out if she is back hitting the barstools.

Her poor service is likely less about your size than the fact she hates BJs and being with farang. Methinks she is in the wrong business. She starved for barfines in BKK and it looks like she will do no better in Pattaya. She had a smokin hot older sister named OH when she worked Hollywood in NEP.She got her most of her barfines. Both used to work for Dave the Rave - he knows her well also.

She told me I was the only farang she ever liked (as a friend not sexually) cause I could speak Thai and joke around with her.

Check out her pics as a real 18 yo in my very first trip report.

bowler, fair enough and understandable! thanks for taking the time for the report.

khun: okay i will check it out. I did look at some of the mem and da pics of yours and it doesn't look like the girl you call mem. Close though. Maybe it is. Maybe not. Could go either way. We are bothj winners on this one. As for my size? Jai swallowed me whole without a blink as does most girls at Lólita's so it was bullshit. I will check your first reprt though.

DonMarco: Thanks man i try hope you enjoyed the report. little over the top i know.

Oh it's definitely her . Same lazy right eye.

I know her very well and have spent many nights getting drunk with her as I said. She's not much into sex but is a trip to party with. Great sense of humor.

Anyway enough of that . Did not mean to hijack your report just as Murasaki said -- a lot of MEMories came flooding back.

(Message edited by Khun_Mor on February 05, 2008)

khun,

I did go and look at the photos and i say it's a toss up. You knew her more than my 25 minutes so i'll trust your judgement. Small world. No hijacking of the report as far as i am concerened. Thanks for weighing in. I'd fall off my chair too if i saw a gal i had a great time with in a report.