Pattaya - Loy K, Dirty D, Nov 2007
by greengrasser@yahoo.com

Sunday, Nov 25, 2007 was a good night for me in Pattaya, especially after Saturday night.

For a monger, every night in Pattaya should be a good night. Also, nearly all nights in Pattaya are better than nearly all nights in the USA. Pattaya has loads of girls, would-be girls (called katoeys), and boys (if you are so inclined and I am not so inclined) in beer bars, pubs, gogo clubs, and discotheques in all sizes and numbers.

However, I look for the little extra. So, my less-than-expected night in Pattaya was still as good as good can be.

Saturday, Nov 24, 2007, (LOY K)

was Loy Krathong day. Thai people celebrate this day of absolution by putting small boats (about 12 inches long) with flowers, incense sticks, etc into the waters in the evening to float away -- to symbolize the removal of their bad health, bad luck, and unhappiness. It honors Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha.

The day started off well with a free meal in the garden of Welkom Inn on Soi 3, served about 5 pm. Although I was having a beer with several old acquaintances, we noticed that a barbequed pig on a spit was being sliced and other guys rushed to the food table and ate. When we asked the waitress, we were told free food. We managed to get a few pieces of hot pork.

About 8 pm, I went to the beer bars across Second Road from Mike Shopping Mall. There was an advertised Miss Loy Krathong contest at 7:30 pm with free food. Walking past the dozen or so beer bars, it appeared that each bar has its own stash of food and most bars had Thai ladies in their traditional formal colorful dress primping themselves. I sat at a beer bar near the rear and ordered a Singha beer. A waitress brought me a plate of two finger sandwiches and two small barbequed chicken legs and a second plate of bite-sized pineapple wedges and watermelon wedges. It was an okay snack.

Then a problem developed. A fat Thai waitress in her 40s came out from behind the counter, did a few bars of Thai dancing about ten inches away from me, grabbed my thigh and rubbed her shoulder against my chest. Her body stunk and she had bad breath. I smiled and backed away as far as possible against the bar while sitting on a bar stool. She got the message. I paid up and left. It appeared that the contest had not started and no one seemed to be in charge. There was no sign listing the schedule for the evening. I had to leave because I felt like the waitress had slimed me. Where were the young beautiful Thai girls who could rub their clean-smelling body against me?

About 8:45 pm, I got to Classroom a GoGo, Soi 13/4, across the street from the Penthouse Hotel. It advertised Miss Loy Krathong contest at 8 pm with free food. In front of the club was a table with four empty food pans. Inside, there were no plates, full or empty, in front of anyone. I guess the food was devoured quickly and on time. I had doubts that there were enough food to provide more than a snack to the club full of girls and customers. Four girls in Thai traditional formal colorful dress were performing gogo-like dance routines on stage. After two songs, another group of four girls competed. Etc. It was different, but not particularly exciting. From a cultural point of view, I was ashamed for the Thai girls in their beautiful traditional dress denigrated their culture for the rich falangs by performing gogo moves. Now I am beginning to understand why Thailand seems to be turning hostile to visitors, especially those who stay more than 30 days.

Walking Street was crowded at night when it closed down the street to vehicles and opened it up to pedestrians, especially with its first 3-day International Food Festival being conducted. Although there were not many vendors in the street, the few that were there occupied a lot of space leaving little space for pedestrians to move pass them. It was strange to see a double row of two dozens of back-back massage lounge chairs for foot massage lined up in the street and filled with male and female tourists of various countries. I guess those tourists did not mind a public display of their ugly feet being massaged. Same too for the guys who sat in the open street getting tattoos, although I suspect tatoo wearers want the public attention. The pisser was at the end of Walking Street before reaching the Bali Hai Pier area. The street narrows at the end and Thai vendors lined both sides of the street. The crowd was packed. At 9:30 pm, it took me ten minutes to shuffle tiny steps with the crowd 30 feet pass this junction. The effort was worthwhile, because the Bali Hai Pier area was filled with 20 food vendor booths, two large stages at either end with performances going on, and local people sitting on the grass and eating. It was a controlled environment for the Thai family to have an outdoor public event.

Unfortunately, the dark sky was not filled with large lit lanterns floating upwards -- which I had seen several years earlier in Pattaya on Loy Krathong day. But, there were occasional fireworks. A resident expat told me that the lanterns were banned, because they were lit with phosporous flares which could not be doused with water and lanterns could come down on land and set fires. Next day on television, one of the local channels showed Pattaya policemen at a meeting being informed that fireworks were illegal and they were to arrest them and bring them to the police station. At 4 am, I still heard a few fireworks exploding.

About 10 pm after returning to Walking Street, I got to the Blues Factory. It advertised a Loy Krathong party at 9 pm with free food. The energetic female singer sang fast-beat rock songs. The male band sang slow-beat blues. I did not like the female interpretations, she would probably be better singing torch songs to match her fat body and age 50s face. I liked the men's interpretations. The waitresses did not seem to understand my question about the time of the party. I did not see any food table. But, in front of the band were a table of krathongs and a table of stuffed animals. I guess I was either too late for the party or too early.

Loads of people were on the beach. As mentioned earlier, there was little to see. The waters were rough. Some krathongs were in the waters. They were not floating out and instead floated back to shore. No horde of Thai persons wading in ankle-deep water to set their krathongs afloat to the distant seas. No lit lanterns floating to the heavens. One or two lone firework streamers. For me, the meek beach scene was the kicker that made Loy Krathong a letdown.

I had enough for the night and returned to my hotel. A good but less-than-expected night.

Sunday, Nov 25, 2007

In the afternoon, I walked over to Soi LK to take a photograph of an overhead sign that said "Poker in the rear". I planned on emailing to a friend who plays poker and does not visit Thailand due to gambling being illegal. On the way, I noticed that Beefeater restaurant, Soi Diana and Second Road, had a sign out that advertised a Sunday afternoon buffet of BBQ ribs, chili, taco, etc. for 199 baht. I ate it. The ribs were good though not great, the chili could be called meat sauce, and the taco was crisp but greasy. It was a good change from the buffets at Diana Inn, Apex Hotel, and Lek Hotel.

About 8:30 pm, I started the evening with a beer at the Malibu beer bar, Soi 13/2 and Second Road. Katoeys mime-sang and danced to various songs, with each song being a different act in a different costume. It was different, but not something that I would want to see often. I have seen some great transvestite acts on stage, but Malibu acts were average, okay but nothing special. The interesting thing was to see several apparently normal-looking guys tipping the performers on-stage and buying them drinks off-stage at the bar. I guess I am still shocked to see man-man couples.

DIRTY D.

About 9 pm, I got to Dollhouse a GoGo, Walking Street. It advertised "dirty dancing on Sunday, Nov 25, 9 pm." After 20 minutes, I noticed that several of the 12 dancers on the main stage and three table-stages went topless. I was thinking that the topless was the dirty dancing. At 9:30 pm, an Aussie guy announced that a dance contest would start immediately with 17 contestants from three clubs, Dollhouse, Taboo, and a third name that the Aussie accent mangled. The first group of four dancers were relatively sedate in their movements to the two musical numbers (the first was fast, the second was slow), although one girl had a very sexy rippling lower spine. They performed on the narrow carousel that revolved around a center support column for the building that stood in the center of the main stage. On the carousel's perimeter were a series of vertical chrome poles and at the tops of the poles was a connecting horizontal chrome pipe.

The second group of four dancers looked liked katoeys. Sad, but true that most katoeys dance better than most girls. The fat peroxided blonde threw her legs upside down clutching a pole and slowly slid down, while the carousel revolved her passed the cheering crowd. During the slow number, the four katoeys went into masturbatory dance massaging their breasts and other body parts, did splits, and two stucked their tongues out tongue-to-tongue for the audience to see and envy. The third group of five dancers were not as entertaining as the second group. The fourth group of four dancers included one chunky real girl with D cups. Some guys shouted with glee when she walked on stage. That girl was an act unto herself. During the first fast number, she bounced her covered breasts to envious men, she backed her butt into a chrome pole that surely could take the polish off, she did the sort of stuff that had your salami been inside, it would have turned to grounded mush. During the second slow number, her crowd-pleaser trick was to lick her middle finger, slowly slide her middle finger down her torso into her shorts, rub, and repeat. The audience went wild. Wow, this was a great show, contest, dirty dancing, or whatever you want to call this on-stage endeavor.

The Aussie announced a second round of dancing would start later. One of the five judges, all men, told me that all 17 girls would dance the second round. He did not know if there would be other rounds. A sign on the wall indicated that there would be dirty dancing every Sunday. A dance contest on a carousel is interesting and gives each dancer repeated chances to be in front of the judges. Since the carousel is very narrow, it is a challenge for the dancers to show their stuff with full effect. Another challenge is the brief seconds that the dancer is in front of the judges sitting shoulder-to-shoulder due to the carousel's constant revolvings.

About 10:15 pm, I walked around the Walking Street area. I decided to continue with the show motif of the evening. I went to Coyote Club. The door guy wanted to know where I was from. I answered that I was not the police. He opened the door for me. Inside there were six girls standing on the stage, not dancing, and looking bored. The club looked empty of customers. I did not stay and left. I wondered why the door guy gave me such a problem before allowing me to enter, when there was nothing going on inside?

About 10:30 pm, I thought I would check out Hootys because at an earlier visit I did not stay due to no Happy Hour in this club. When I got near the entrance, I noticed another club called Roxy. I went into Roxy. Prices were 55 baht for a Chang draft, 65 baht for a Chang bottled beer, and 130 baht for a Singha. A waitress carried a sign that said show in five minutes. Inside the rectangular room were bench seat along the wall on the right side and a series of long curved narrow underlit counters with bar stools. All faced to the left where there was a large stage against the wall on the left side and the stage had three runways. The stage and runways were a lower level, about a foot below the right side of the room. The room setup was for a theater. The decor was modern and architecturally interesting. Silver-like chains of various lengths hung like icicles from the two-story high ceiling against the black left wall. The men's room also had interesting decor in granite.

The show began. The acts were interesting and not the usual lesbians licking each other and not pussy tricks. The girls moved in unison, indicating that they had practiced. All acts had a design. Some acts had a theme. One design I liked was a girl holding white elastics extending to the waist of each girl who were on hands and knees on each of the three runways. It was like holding the white reins to three mares. One theme I liked were the three girls in minimal cat costumes and erect nipples. The wittiest act was the last and tenth act. It came after the ninth act involving five girls and soap suds to wash off their body paint. About ten girls in assorted street work clothes with some mops and some towels, who looked like a cleaning crew, danced in unison as they cleaned the soap suds from the stage and runways. The club manager told me that the show began every night at 10 pm. The show seemed to consist of five acts for about 20 - 25 minutes, with a new show beginning every half hour.

About 12:25 am after a couple of other clubs, I decided that I needed to go to Angelwitch in order to compare it to Roxy. The club was crowded with customers sitting all around. I saw four acts. Angelwitch's girls were a little more attractive and their dancing were a little better, although their performance was not at professional dance level. In one act, the four Angelwitch dancers performed excellent dancing. Although the Angelwitch acts were varied and interesting as were Roxy acts, the Roxy acts were a little more creative. For example, the two-girl lesbians kissing and licking each other was one of the acts. Angelwitch stage was set up for theater-in-the-round, which I have always considered to be inherently flawed because the performers will always have their backs to a part of the audience. By contrast, Roxy was set up for all of the audience to be the theater's "fourth wall" and thereby for all to enjoy. Angelwitch charged 145 baht for a beer and did not offer any low-price drink option such as a draft. Roxy offered 55 baht draft and 65 baht Chang beer in a bottle. Roxy was better on a cost performance basis.

Saturday night was less-than-expected for me, because I saw a controlled staged holiday presentations for the people in a contained area compared to several years ago a spectacle at night on the beach of hordes of local people, multitude of krathongs floating away, and flights of lit lanterns drifting to the heavens. Also, I missed out on the scheduled parties. But, Sunday night was great for me, because the dirty dancing contest at Dollhouse was wild and the dance acts at Roxy were theatrically enjoyable.

Hope future Loy Krathongs will be better and the Dollhouse dirty dancing and Roxy shows continue.

Keep on mowing.
GreenG

What a difference a year makes. I was in Pattaya in 2006 for Loi Krathong and it was full on with the airborne lanterns, fireworks, zillions of little boats being set out to sea and tons of locals and farangs on the beach all night long. Yeah, it did occur to me that one of those frickin lanterns could burn the place down.

Now there's a report that makes me want to return to Thailand ASAP !!

Seriously GG I hope that was the low point of your trip .

after reading your report, I wondered if U did any fucking at all ? lots of comments about the clubs, etc, etc,
no pics and no pussy analysis !!

GG has a way with words-- lets hope the actual trips are better.