St Maarten - $2 Grog and $50 Puta/s

I was on the island for business December 2nd thru 6th. Flying into St Maarten’s beach front airport is incredibly easy and believe it or not the airport runway is a major attraction. Because the runway is literally on the beach, the attraction is to watch thrill seekers or more idiots (you be the judge) cling to the chain-link fence with all
their might as an Air France jumbo jet backs up to the fence on the runway in order to get every possible foot of runway needed to clear the majestic island mountains. As the Jet readies its self the engines begin to roar seemingly while the pilot is clamping down on the break. As this happens the morons trying to hold on the the fence begin to flap in the jet wash like some beach towel hung out to dry. Except while this is happening they are also getting sand blasted and as the pain of the sand becomes too much to bear they are forced to release their white knuckle grip on the fence. Now it really gets funny because they are tossed like a crumpled up tin can about 50 ft down the beach and 20 ft into the ocean. Later that night I was watching David Letterman and he had his “Stup-Human Tricks” show on and I watched a guy standing on one foot while kicking his own forehead. That wasn’t enough, he had to break his own record which was to kick his own forehead 30 times in 20 sec. Who thinks of this shit? All I want to do when I get up in the morning is find my next piece of ass.

I stayed at little “Upscale” hotel called Mary’s Boon, which is a wonderful little beach-side resort. The rooms are really nice, clean and they do have a WiFi which is not great but adequate. Another nice feature is there is a strip club within walking distance “Bada Bing”. So if you just get a little too laid back and bordum begins to set in the eye candy is right down the road.

Now I’m a little hesitant to tell you this part of the report because as soon as I publish this I just know one of you are going to go down there and wreck it. The Hotel has a restaurant with an attached bar/lounge over looking the beach, the bar is an “Honor Bar” meaning fix your own drinks and let them know what you had by righting down on a little clip board. What you had, later if shows up on your bill. Guys !, if you go there please don’t mess up this little gem.

The French side of St Maarten is where 95% of the action is at. There is 5 or 6 Brothels some with local “Island girls” (not my thing) and others with imports (Colombianas definitely my thing!) I had three nights I wanted to work in and the plan was Carolina’s then Seamans’ Club then the tie breaker repeat if there was an abundance of lookers at either that I just had to have. Plan B would include Casablanca which I would consider a second tier choice.

First night – Carolina’s, Beer=$3 Girls=$50

Made a bad error in judgment, Lesson relearned – get round trip price from taxi driver before you get in the car. This lesson cost me $40 more than if should have. Don’t pay more than $20 per leg. Cabbie will ask you if you want a ride back. Make sure you tell him to come back at a given time and if he waits for you ITS HIS DECISION AND YOUR NOT PAYING HIM TO WAIT. Ok that behind me. I walk in dingy shit hole of a place (remember your in the islands) and notice about 12 –15 girls. About 3 or 4 were pretty hot (7.5 to maybe 8) another five or six were in the “Ohana sweet zone” (will explain later) and the rest were bottom feeders. I ordered a beer and said let the games begin. Suddenly every set of female eyes are drilling holes in my head looking for any kind of eye contact they can create. If you allow it to happen you will get a coy smile and she is on her way to put on the sell. (ahhhhhhh life is good) The fun part is to fuck with them for a while until you see the one you that want to pierce the veil. It’s a fun little cat and mouse game occasionally letting one have a shot at the interview process. The good news is these girls for the most part are not aggressive with a hustle. They will sell you pretty hard in the interview process which is exactly the way I like it.

After 3 interviews and some fun at the bar I settled on Alejandria. She was 5’ 4” with “bolt-on D’s” nice full but not overly fat ass. (Ohana is not a spinner coinsurer and enjoys them with some meaty curves”.

Photos: Alejandria 01 02 03 04 05

Oh, before I forget, the Ohana Sweet Zone is defined by the monger text book (self written) as women who are really trying for a shot at that upper tier 8.5, 9 or 9.9 (no such thing as a 10) but since they come up short, they understand that a good attitude and strong performance may be able to bridge the gap. It has been my experience including with my ex wife that when they know they are at the top of the hot scale, performance becomes a “I’ll toss you a bone because I’m obligated” or “you paid me so I’ll kind of go along with the program”. and attitude? Well I’m sure you know the rest. So, I now pass on the 8.5’s – 9.9 and look for the second tier who have some passion and really want to please a man. I don’t need to boost my ego by saying, “I Fu*^ed that super model that you could only have in your dreams”. I would much rather have a great time based on performance from a woman who is more appreciative she is the chosen one.

Ok, Off my soap box….. Night two – Seaman’s Club.

Walk up to the bar and order a beer. $2 senor. Nice…! Now, same as night before, every pair of eyes is fixated on getting your attention. As I look around I’m the only honkey in the place. Which means I’m looked at like lion looks at a hungry lamb. And again 12 – 15 maybe 17 Colombianas. Its about 9:30 PM (early). The great part of this is these girls are very competitive (almost catty) amongst them selves. One of the chicas noticed I was watching the ass of another as she had her back to me but was enjoying a song and shaking it a little. I don’t know if she knew I was watching or not but it look good. So now that the other notices I’m watching the ass of another, she decides she won’t be out done, turns around and lifts her mini skirt, looks over her shoulder at me to make sure I go it then proceeds to the stage for a dance with the pole and the gringo was sure to watch…. Ok so as she is dancing and I’m really enjoying the show, I leave my bar stool, walk to the stage and give her a tip… Well, every set of eyes is watching and I even heard a few sneers as some were thinking I was going to choose this dancer. What they didn’t know was,,,,,,,, I was fucking with all of them, leading them down a path that did not exist. Oh what fun when you can mess with that many, especially the upper tier.

On the way back to nurse my $2 grog I notice the coy smile that would eventually be “the one”. Olivia’s smile was like with woman in the Mike Hammer visions. It got to me and as I turned to sit on my bar stool I gave her the look and nod that said come join me. And now with the invitation that every woman in the joint was buying for she made sure nothing got in her way. So I’m now deep in the interview process, she is in and out of my arms, hugging kissing, rubbing, grinding, talking and laughing when the one that did the dance for me comes down off the stage, comes over to thank me and tries to take the conversation away from Olivia…. Woe !!! Olivia picks up the threat and they start barking at each other. I’m just smiling but inside I’m laughing my ass off. I let this go on for a minuet or two and told the dancer I was occupied and if things did not work out she would be next… she blew me a kiss, sneered at Olivia and cantered off. Olivia is now a little worried and says, you and me you not take that PUTA! I’m dieing with laughter inside and take her in my arm give her a hug, kiss the side of her neck to let her know she has no worries. The smile that you see in these photos is now just beaming and I am somewhat confident that she is going to be a performer in appreciation. And once again The "Ohana Zone" pays dividends. Olivia was a livewire, loved to suck dick offered anal, and said, “no mas es condn, usted fineto es mi boca” or something to that effect (she wanted me to finish in her mouth). I got the message.

Photos: Olivia 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14

Olivia did not have the Killer toned body like she stepped of the pages of Playboy, but as you can see for your self she was no slouch to look at and in bed she will take you to the promised land and beyond. Afterwards we laid in bed and hugged and kissed some more. All this for $50. it almost makes a guy feel guilty….. I said “almost”.

Night 3…. I had to return to the well….

Walked in the Seaman’s club to a completely different crowd. About the same number of Chicas, the only difference was this night I was one of several Caucasians. With the atmosphere a little different and not being able to find Olivia I start interviewing and settle on Maria. (sorry no pics, forgot the camera in my room). Maria was looked a lot more brazilin but was actually from the Dominican Rep. She was sweet at the bar but all business in the sack and had one thing in mind, “get this asshole off and get on to the next”. I’m not a mind reader but that was the feeling. She did, I got dressed, no kiss at the door, it closed behind me, I went back to the bar she came out several min later and begain working on her next…. Ohhhhh Olivia where the hell wear you???

The big news is Seaman’s Club sold to a new owner. The guy that has been running Seaman's for years (no lease agreement) has refused to vacate to the new owner. It wound up in court and the court said the guy could stay for another 2 years…. Do you believe it ? I guess only in the “French Caribbean” ha, ha haaaa… Anyway I’m told this guy has like 11 or 12 months left then he is ordered to vacate. No one knows what the new owners plans are…

Wow, suprised girls only ask for $50 in a resort island with tons of tourists, especially Colombian girls that have to foot their own bill to get there and probably not live cheaply.

So you are saying that the girls accept $50 for ST or LT and do you do them on site or take them back. Do they allow BBBJ and DFK or is it a clinical TJ session?

Thanks for the report but I think the action is on the Dutch side.

Alejandria photos integrated

Blazers, its $50 on site and $300 takeout plus a bar fine of 100 for TLN. No extra cost for the on site room at Seaman's but at Carolina's you pay and extra $3.00 for the room... don't ask ! BBBJ and DFK I believe are YMMV (your mileage may vary,,,,, based on her feelings for you)

Admin, please post Olivia's photos

Olivia photos integrated

Why the big disparity in price between "on site" and "takeout"? Could you have gotten Olivia's phone number and called her later?

Thanks for the fun report, I have to agree with you the more you monger the more important performance becomes. Then you start its all about looks, when you have been out there a wile you don't even have a look anymore just a look-for-tonight. In SA we have the same big disparity in price between "on site" and "takeout" even the girls can't explain it to me.

I't makes sense from a business perspective. If more people have takeouts. There would be no girls onsite! It really works best for the house.

ohana: What is the action like during the day? Are there places to go. Escort agencies etc. A beach where the action hangs out at?

I just got back from a trip based on this report and I have to say he is pretty much dead on. It is a great place to monger. Though there is little action during the day. Seamans is the only place that is open during the day. THE ONLY THING INCORRECT ABOUT THIS GUYS REPORT IS ALL THE ACTION IS ON THE DUTCH SIDE NOT THE FRENCH SIDE. THINK AMSTERDAM, NOT PARIS AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT THE DUTCH ARE MUCH MORE LIBERAL THAN THE FRENCH. The food on the French side is fantastic. The only draw back is that the food is quite expensive and you need a car to get around.