Costa Rica - Fuck you report!
Feburary 2008

Well this was a quick weekend trip, I am going to try to keep this short and to the point, as simple as possible.

Left Miami on a Friday morning, landed in Costa Rica , they are in the process of finishing the airport renovations, its getting there. Immigration took forever , I got detained at customs and one of my bags seized , I was extremely irate and got to the point where I was pushing my boundary limits , wisely so I calmed down. The whole issue why customs seized my bag is a whole different bag of nuts. But anyways I had lunch in alajuela, then took a cab into san jose to the presidente. I got the cab for 7000 colones , not bad , it took over an hour , traffic is always bad , but on a Friday it was horrible , the worst I’ve ever seen down there on the auto pista. Checked into the presidente , the hotel main restaurant and bar just got remodeled , it looks really nice, although I liked it like it was , more modern look to it now. Ran over to mas por menos , grabbed a bunch of corona and waters. When I landed , I picked up a cell phone from family, so I have my own line down there now , what an asset it is. I called my friend from last trip report who knew I was coming down. She told me she would meet me in a few hours at the key largo. I had dinner at chelles , its open 24hrs , nice cheap spot. Its on the corner of ave.central and calle 9.

Its seems like im coming down here too much!
The bums and beggers don’t bug me as much , if any , I wonder if I don’t smell like fresh meat after so many trips. I met my old friend johny the cigar hustling drug dealer , he remembered me , we made plans to go get drunk later , I totally forgot , he gave me a free fake cohiba , I felt privileged and took it even though I don’t smoke cigars. We’ve seen each other since august , I’ve been good to him , I really appreciate some people , even a costa Rican street hustler recognizing reciprocation. I know all the bums by sight and have watched them deteriate ^SP? over time , sad , but not my problem.

Theres this one guy I wish would get hit by a car , everyone knows him , hes small and bald and speaks perfect English , always just asking for stuff. Hes quite funny. I didn’t see hugo boss in his suit , but then again I was not at the delray ever. So that night I walked down to the key largo around 10pm , no problems I kept moving and wouldn’t stop to talk to anyone. As I walked in the key largo , my friend meets me , she is patiently awaiting my arrival . She walks up to me and at first im trying to get away , because I didn’t know it was her, she was made up different , it was dark and last time I saw her was October. Well we get back aquatinted and had a few drinks. Then we did some dancing , all I got to say , well on Friday nights the key largo’s band rocked! I had a blast that night. We left about 2am for the presidente , I insisted on walking , but she jumped in a cab and wouldn’t walk, maybe she was the smarter one after all. The cabbie quotes 2000 colones , highway robbery , I tell him 1000 , he takes it, still insane , it should be 500 , but I guess you pay a sin tax late at night. or a gringo tax as I see it. We get to the room , she tells me want cant bang because of her period , Fine get sucking , I gave her some walmart lingerie I got her……lol she loved it though , some candles , bunch of crap from walmart. I gave her my old 3.2megapixel nikkon coolpix , nice camera still. She spent most of the night. Woke up early morning and gave me a kiss and told me I would see her later , I had plans all day anyways.

Sat- Saw family all day , returned to san jose late
Meet up with my friend later that night at the key largo . The band sucked and you could tell the crowd was different , more of that later. Were standing around and I see some empty bar stools , with empty beers in front of them I sit down and order a drink. Five minutes later some giant humpback comes up to me with the nastiest dark skinned Dominican girl there , she was huge and just ugly. He yells over “Get out of my damn seat” Now #1 this wasn’t his seat , and even if it was he could be orderly and say “Hey that’s my seat your in” I turn and this older man in his late 40’s or early 50’s , big guy probably 6’2-4’’ Is hovering over me , sloppy drunk , staring at me , I just ignore him . I figure this idiot is just drunk and trying to show off to a horror, which is quite pitiful. Then I hear “Fuck you, get the fuck out of my seat” Now he’s got my attention, my friend sees things going really south quick. She tries to keep me calm, luckily I was only drinking beer and I hadn’t had many at this point. I look at him, his drunken drooling eyes and get ready for it to go down, the last minute my girl grabs my arm and tugs me away, and I let the piece of shit have a seat. This man was drunk beyond reason , and I really applaud myself , for my self control , if I had not been with my friend and had bigger issues (pussy) I think I would have taught this guy a lesson in manners. And when you leave a bar stool, tip it into the bar dumbass. I listened to this guy talking to his girl the rest of the night. He was solo , no friends , I wonder why. He was handing out money left and right to this disgusting dark Dominican girl saying “All I want you to do is be happy””I love you” He kept repeating himself and was just so wasted it was pathetic. I stood next to his seat at the bar and made sure I constantly bumped into him and made his stay bad as possible. Maybe childish, but I was pissed, over him cussing at me and being rude. How can someone be unhappy and aggressive like this guy, in a club filled with hot chicas they will go home with you? He gave me a few nasty glares, and they got returned and he finally got the point, that I would no deal with any more of his shit that night. This man was truly lucky he didn’t get hurt, but my rule is unless im hit or touched , I will not start trouble , words are just that , words. I know the door man at the keylargo well , if things wen’t down , I would have been fine on that end, everyone saw how drunk he was and the way he was acting.

That’s brings me to my rant and rave and the title of this trip report.
Friday night , I spent in the key largo , everyone was friendly and nice, the people there were there to have a good time. More of guys on vacation or locals. Laid back environment.
Saturday night – tons of drunk weekend warrior gringos , quite frankly lots of trash.

My thoughts on these guys , like the one above : Stay away , we don’t want you down in costa rica , your obnoxious and show no respect for the ticos/ticas , culture or fellow gringos. If you get your rocks off by trying to show off and be macho in front of horror, you are truly pathetic and I feel bad for you. Sat night I also saw a group of old guys on maybe the 3rd of 4th story of the balmoral shouting stuff at people below and pointing and just displaying behavior that gives us gringos a bad name , which more and more I see why we deserve that bad name. When I travel , I respect the culture and the people, I am in there country and a guest , when you go to stay at a friends or relatives house , your respectful of there stuff and ways , it should be the same when traveling , sadly its not.

May you pathetic married pussy whipped gringos ruining costa rica DIE!!!!!


Sorry for the rant , I feel better…
I took my friend back to the room , we had an awesome great night of “boom boom”

I was going to post my friends pic here , but I have such strong feelings about her , I will hold off. Sorry , if things change ill submit it.I

I left the next afternoon , plane was delayed , flew over cuba and the keys at night , it was nice. Miami customs was slower then a paraplegic long distance run.

Smuckin

Smuckin, Sorry you had a shitty weekend. Hit me up next time you come down and I'll buy you a beer...

Jonesie , thanks for the offer , when im down in may , i will take you up on that. Key largo will be my spot for now on. I had a good weekend ,I was just taken back by the attitude of some people down there.

Key Largo still active, I first went there in 1972. Between 1974 and 75 they had the best, prettest girls I had ever seen in one place in terms of quantity, perhaps 40-50. In my mongering career of 44 yrs. it was tops in my opinion

Photo: My Friend 01

I said WTF , heres my angel from that weekend!

Quote;

“All I want you to do is be happy””I love you”

I think I'm gonna be sick..........
This is what gives Gringos a bad name, worse yet, makes us nothing more than ATM machines.
Next time tkae him outside and educate him.

jonesie...any trips to rio in the works?

SMUCKIN !!
THANKS FOR SHARING THE PIC , with the rest of us.