Observations: April/May 2008, Rio de Janeiro

Contrasts

It doesn’t take long, after arriving at the airport in Rio de Janeiro, before you are struck by the contrasts so characteristic of this amazing place. Flying into Galeão Airport, and walking out of the Antônio Carlos Jobim terminal, you are immediately overcome by the beautiful vistas surrounding you--mountains of peculiar sizes and shapes rise from the sea, all begging to be featured on a picture postcard. And minutes later, as you cross the bridge at the end of the Ilha do Governador, other senses are overcome by the stench emanating from the river of shit and garbage flowing out of the Favela Mare and into Guanabara Bay. The favela itself is a tremendous shock given the beauty of the surrounding area, and is more easily imagined sitting in India or Africa than in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. These initial contrasts set the tone for a visit to Rio.

Chuva, Chuva, Chuva!

In the Rio of one’s imagination it is always sunny, and the beaches are always crowded with beautiful women competing to see who can wear the least and not be prosecuted. In reality, it’s a city nestled in a tropical climate; the only major city in the world with a rainforest contained within the its city limits. And rain is what greeted me to Rio. Buckets of rain. Rain so hard it closed the airport temporarily, washed cars off of roads, and brought the stench of the hillside favelas flowing down into the neighborhoods below. I arrived at my apartment on Rua Sá Ferreira in Copacabana and, after unpacking, made my way across the street to meet CortoGringo for a Centro termas run. CortoGringo’s apartment sits right at the entrance of Favela Pavãozinho, just steps away from Bar do Jaguar (once known as “the Favela Bar” but renamed to honor the only gringo stupid enough--or some would say, with sufficient balls--to hang out among the traficantes, minor drug dealers, and bottom-feeding prostitutes constituting its clientele). To get to the actual entrance of the apartment on this day, I had to ford a raging river of shit (known to the locals as “Rio de Merda”). The only option was to leap over the river, as the contents were toxic enough to dissolve both shoe leather and flesh. My leap was successful, but I saw a few children and elderly residents washed away, presumably to sea, bobbing among the turds and empty Skol cans. Fortunately, 36 hours later this particular Rio de Merda had run dry, leaving behind a stink only slightly more noxious than the usual stink coming from Bar do Jaguar.

The Rio Grande de Merda was flowing down from the favelas, through some pipes, and across the sand and out to sea at a spot close to the Marriott Hotel. The day after the river dried up, tractors were on the beach trying to cover up the river carved through the sand and, in the process, bury the stench. No dice. It smelled so bad I nearly lost my lunch. Amazingly, just yards up the beach people were frolicking in the cesspool formerly known as Copacabana Beach. And some wonder why I frequent Arpoador Beach and avoid Praia das Putas like the plague.

Frio, Frio, Frio!

One evening, sitting out at the Terraço Atlântico prior to the opening bell at Help, the temperature dropped to 65 as a “frente frio” rolled through. By the outfits the girls were showing up in you would have thought it was 25 degrees! Sweaters and coats everywhere! One local guy was wearing two long-sleeve shirts, a sweater, a coat, and a stocking cap. I was in shorts and a polo shirt and thought it was perfectly comfortable. I imagine the coat closet at Help was overflowing.

Non- and Former Pros

I ended up spending only half my free time with putas. I spend the other half with non-pros or former pros who no longer are on the program. A couple of observations. The quality of sex with my former but no longer pro is better than it was when she worked in a termas. It’s now more relaxed, more passionate, and more playful. The quality of sex with the never-pros was as good as the sex with the pros. I’m thoroughly convinced that brasileiras simply like sex, and to an astounding degree more so than their North American counterparts.

Professional Fucking

The good news is the quality of the pussy at the termas was very good. Solarium was excellent, and I had a very good time with Priscila and Ohanna. Priscila is one of the best dancers in Rio, and has a killer body that is very firm. She’s a three-holer and gives a superlative blowjob. Ohanna is also quite skilled, and loves to suck dick for long stretches. She also seems pretty content with a dick up her ass. Overall, the talent level at Solarium was higher than I’d seen it in some time.

Photo: Priscila - Solarium

4X4 is 4X4...what can you say? It’s big, brash, noisy, crowded, and always has a few dozen fuckables on the floor. Paloma was my first program on hitting the town, and she was, as the locals say, vale a pena. She is a cute loira with medium-sized breasts and a nice but not overly large bunda. Her oral skills are modest , as is her enthusiasm for cock-sucking, but she is a grade-A fuck, and the view from behind while pounding her buceta doggy-style is worth the price of admission. Valera was #2 at 4X4 and was the only girl I repeated with over the 10 days. She is superlative in every way. You first notice her ass. It has the classic bubble shape, and if you let your arm slide down her back it comes to rest on that bubble and doesn’t fall any farther. She was the best performer of any of the girls, and worked the entire 60 minutes. She would not take “no” for an answer and insisted that she would get me off at least twice in a session., She succeeded both times. She had a reasonably tight pussy and a terrifically tight ass. Actually, her ass proved too tight for me, so I banged it for a few minutes each time but returned to hole #2 to complete the job. Valera is a consummate pro, and while she loves to kiss and touch, I’d describe as more a porn-style hard fuck than a GFE experience. Petra was my final 4X4 partner (I think; it’s a bit of a blur). She’s one of the 4X4 porno girls, and has done a few movies. She has a pair of bolt-on tits, which I normally avoid like the plague, but I checked them out in the boite and they are very well done. Another loira, she hails from Florianopolis. She is another three-holer, and is pretty much an all-around performer. Most notable about Petra is the fact that she’s incredibly multi-orgasmic, and when she comes she produces a lot of sticky fluid. I know this because she came six times and we had to get extra towels to mop up all the fluids she was generating. It actually disrupted the session a bit because I would start to feel it and all of the sudden she’d have a roaring, earth-shaking orgasm and would shut down for a couple of minutes until her sensitivity level dropped a bit.

Photo: Valera - 4x4

L’uomo, my first love, was solid. Nothing spectacular, but everyone seemed to have a good time. I never did make it to MC, and Centaurus is off my list given that the minimal amount you can spend for a 40 minute program there is R$400 (or about $240 US). Absurd!

Prices

Prices have generally been holding steady. Help girls are asking for R$300+ and accepting R$200+. Termas prices have been stable for at least 18 months. The escort places have not raised prices in at least 8 years, nor have the budget places like Flavia Massagens and Bel Prazer. The problem is the weakness of the dollar (thank you, President Moron) and the strength of the Brazilian economy. I can’t begrudge the Brazilians their good fortune, but I will forever despise Bush for doing his part to run our economy into the ground.

Most other things are more expensive in Rio these days. Apartment and hotel prices have risen substantially in the last few years, and food is also much pricier. The days of Rio being a budget destination are over, and probably for good.

That said, I’ve already booked my next two trips. Given the quality of the overall experience available in Rio, it’s still a bargain, and I can’t imagine a place that compares favorably when factoring everything into the equation. The girls are amazing. The sex is unparalleled. The food is great and diverse. The beaches are world class. The music is awesome. The Brazilian people are warm and welcoming. The guys I usually meet in town are fun to be around. I’ll pay extra for this combination. Bits and pieces can be found elsewhere, but Rio pulls it all together.

Mentirosos, or What’s Said in a Termas Doesn’t Stay in a Termas

Many a thread has been posted on CH and other boards by guys complaining about the lies the garotas tell. But I have to say, it seems the guys do as much lying to the girls as the girls do to the guys! These girls know that we all know one another, and they will quiz guys to determine if some other guy has been truthful with them. I was talking with one GP I know pretty well, and she was relating a series of conversations she’d had with a fellow monger, along with the series of promises and pledges he’d made to her. It was all I could do to not break out laughing, as it was all complete horse shit. So I just told her the old joke: How can you tell when a guy in a termas is lying to you? His lips are moving.

I don’t quite understand the motive to lie to these girls. They’re going to fuck you and fuck you well whether you’re married or not, 50 or 20, have kids or not, live in a mansion or a tar shack, etc. Promising them shit like visas, marriage and so forth is just stupid and a little bit cruel.

Bwana, I was going around telling girls I wanted to "eat their ass" the last few weeks, and they didn't miss a beat. Thanks for the tip on slang.

A few concrete examples of inflation in Rio:

1) In April 2007, a trip on the Metro was 2.30 (RT 4,60). By July, it had gone to 2,35 (RT 4,70). By Nov, it was 2,40 (RT 4,80). Now, it's 2,60 (RT 5,20) Doesn't seem like much, but it is a rather large percentage increase in just a year.

2) As recently as last Jan, the Guapo Loco buffet used to be around 23 Reais, so plus one refrigerante, and their optional 2 - 3 Reias tip they staple on all of the checks ( just gringos probably), it was about 28 Reais total. With the same deal now, it's 33,50.

3) Everyone knows about taxis. Five years ago, the meters started around 2.80 when you first got in. Now it starts at around 4.30 before the wheels even roll.

As for telling lies, everybody does it, girls and guys. All is fair when your girlfriend is a whore.

You're welcome. If you don't know the slang, it's hard to talk with a young Brasilian. It's all they speak. I learn new stuff every trip. For example, it's a compliment to tell a girl "Você é foda!"

Good point on the transportation costs. I used to not give taking a cab a second thought. On this trip the only time I got in a cab was to head out to Solarium. Otherwise I walked, took the metro, or went by bus. The trip downtown via cab is now about $30 US r/t, versus $3 by metro.

Has the Paloma you were with been at 4 by 4 for awhile? She matches your description but I havent seen her my last couple of trips. Also, I do not understand the lying. The only thing I can think of is that the lies are for better performance. It still doesn't make sense. I might fall in love every 10 minutes in Rio but I still tell the garotas Im a cachurro or safado. It makes everything so much easier.

I, too, do not understand why guys lie. Usually, these are the same guys who are afraid to tell a girl they want to fuck other girls. Jesus, just be upfront about why you're in Rio, the girls will not only respect it, they'll usually help you accomplish it. As long as they know you stand firm, they'll follow your lead. They'll eventually figure out if you're lying and just respect you less.

And, yes, your pretty much have to know your slang to talk to the girls. "Você é foda!" IS a compliment. It's like, "You're the shit." "Essa porra tá foda!" is not. It's like, "This shit is fucked up!" ;)

Great Report as always Bwana . I'm looking forward to seeing you in Porto Alegre some time . In terms of lying it's like a weird game . they do it , we do it , I think it's almost expected . I try to keep it to a minimum though , it's less complicated .

Agreed, Cdaze. Lying is as much of Brasilian pastime as anything else. It is at the core of those Novelas they are passionate about watching. When a brasiliera uncovers the "truth" they love it, but on the flip-side they get absolutely pissed off when you discover they were lying. It is a completely stupid child's game. Like the little 5-year old who throws a tantrum, you are better letting these children just "win" and just nod your head when they talk to you.
But, as far giving them respect or wanting their respect...cmon, it is a prostitute you are dealing with, think about it. If a guy feels better about himself lying, then it doesnt make a difference. From a percentage standpoint, I bet 95% of these "relationships" it is guy that suffers more emotional, financial and psychological loss than the garota does. So, I don't for a moment feel bad for the few garotas who think THEY are being deceived. (funny shit)

Cincoleche,

I would not equate brasilian culture with the world of the GdP or the micro economy around the puta trade. We all know the GdP game is to make $$ and many try and squeeze it out of you before the next one does.

Brasilians are less confrontational than americans. They would rather tell you in a different way (or imply) the truth. This does not make the national past time lying. This is a bit harsh.

As for the garotas, I learned that the best way is the tell the truth. They do respect this. I, like Gibletpie, BD and others, have heard a thousand stories. Some of those stories were even about me!

Bwana-

You just reminded me why I'm staying in the Ipanema/Arpoador border this next trip. Rua Sá Ferreira is cheap and central but the downside definitely gets you down.

CB

Many thanks for the stories and for the pictures, especially of that bubbly thing. Your prose, as always, has a way of sticking in my head and I will remember to be on the lookout for the heavy rains.

Glad to hear that your expert opinion is that GdP prices are holding firm despite inflation in other ways. Hope that holds up.

Seems a lot of your fucking is now off the program and not being reported. Even better than the termas, which is better than even the wildest and most in love Yankee civvies, is pretty hard to imagine.

But mainly the stories of the termas, 4x4 in particluar, and that classic standard Brasileira girl who is "pretty content to have a dick up her ass" bring me back there a little bit. Much obliged.

You're welcome. I'm counting the days until the next visit.

Valera's ass is a real work of art. She's justifiably proud of it, and she's chemical-free. That ass was acquired naturally, mainly via samba dancing.

Yes, do avoid the area around NS de Copacabana and Sá Ferreira during a downpour. Whoever coined the phrase "shit flows downhill" wasn't kidding!

Thankyou to Bwana for the report very interesting. I am traveling to Brazil for my first trip this year. The site is excellent however I am interested in learning more of the slang phrases. If anyone can help me out I would appreciate it. ie do you simply ask a girl how many holes they provide? or something else. May seem silly however I would like to know????

I've you've never been to Brasil, slang phrases really won't do you any good as you'll mispronounce them and probably end up insulting the poor girl

Keep it real simple on your first trip, consider using Amerioca for some guidance and insurance, and don't worry that much about the language.

There are two very simple ways to ask for anal sex.

First the word for anal is the same in Portuguese as in English just pronounced differently. If I were to guess on it would be spelled in English, it would be something like o nahl, and the o is a short o.

The other more common way is to use the word complete, which means all 3 holes. The word in Portuguese is completa, and the e sounds like a long a.

"Quero comer seu cu."

I was telling a normal girl I know last month that I learned recently that "comer" has an alternate meaning. She said, "yeah, but don't ever say that to a girl or you will get slapped." And I thought, you don't know the kind of girls I hang out with. It's almost a compliment.

If you can't say that, just point to their ass. They will know.

Quero comer seu cu.
Posso comer seu cu?
Você faz anal?
Você faz tudo?
Você é completa?
Você dá seu cu?

There are a million ways to ask this question in Brasil, but as Itasca says, if words fail you, pointing will also work. And no puta will be shocked that you've asked.

The funniest way to ask a puta if she gives her ass is:

"Você queima a rosca?"

It means, literally, "Do you burn the donut?"

I would only use this in termas (sometimes Help girls--quite laughably--love to play like they're Good Girls--see bluelight's recent report for the truth on this), but in termas, the girls NEVER fail to laugh like hell.

No garota has ever come up to me and said "Queimo a rosca." What would be the response if I said "posso comer sua rosca?" or do I need to say "posso queimar sua rosca?" Frankly, I prefer to eat rather than burn donuts.

I feel we've come a long ways since the days of just asking "voce gosta anal?" That was an earlier, simpler time I guess

Those were earlier, simpler times. Also, along the way I learned that if you ask a girl if she likes anal she might well say no, but if you ask the same girl if she does anal, there's a good chance she'll say yes.

Bwana

I'm not sure you want to eat the donut that others have been burning.

hmmm...is this the "ring of fire" that Johnny Cash used to moan about? I thought he just could not afford Anusol or Preparation H.

Except Johnny was in prison when he wrote that song. Yikes!

Just put an acrylic patch on it and offer her free dental........

Damn I am so envious of you pros that know how to tell a GDP you want to fuck her ass , awesome, homage, homage.

Ewwwwwwwwww. Another RD turd.

Excellent contribution.

" queima a rosca " I am not 100% sure but, I have only heard that used towards guys as a joke calling them gay.

Any of Bwanas suggestions are right. You could also use this " voce da o rabo " with the rabo like Habo.