i try to go to patong sometime during the offseason, late may, june, and early july. then oct to mid nov. during this time, not too much rain and hotel prices are not sky high. in high season, nov through may, hotel prices are double, often triple, the price of offseason. i've been there in dec and in feb and it is quite nice as long as you are only there for a week or so. a month or more at the inflated hotel prices is too much. you can find rooms for 1000thb in high season but you’ll have to stay on nanai road, a little bit out of ground zero but easily reached by moto taxi.

okay, here is a guide/report:

GETTING THERE:
i flew THAI nonstop LAX/BKK in premium economy for $1800. i paid the highest fare as i needed to be flexible on my return date. i looked at the regular economy in route. it wasn't close to full and the legroom looked good compared to regular US airlines (akin to UA's economy plus). i paid about $400 more for premium, not sure it was worth an extra couple inches of legroom. the seat recline wasn’t much different than economy. the cabin was empty though so if you want no one around you, pay extra for premium. i hit pattaya for a couple days, went out only once, really just recovered from the flight. then flew to phuket from utapao. taxi from pattaya to utapao was 1000thb, about an hour drive. flight on bangkok air was 3200thb one way (advance fare on internet). taxi from phuket airport to patong was 500thb, about 45 minute drive.

HOTELS:
first hotel was poppa palace at about $30/nt via asiarooms.com. stayed 4 nts. tv channel selection was horrible (i stayed for two months, i need tv at times). room was good and so was breakfast (included). internet was 200thb/24 hrs or 600thb/4 days.

i moved across the street to pacificlighthotel.com after the first four days. started off at 700thb/nt by paying a week upfront. that worked for two weeks. after that, they upped it to 800/nt. supposedly, they have free wireless but i couldn't connect after about a week of use. so, i bought cards from poppa palace and used their network (which is pretty fast/reliable) no breakfast incl but restaurant downstairs was very good and standard american breakfast was 145thb. they will deliver food to room if you want but they do not advertise room service.

one odd thing was when i checked out after a month, i was headed down to stay at a beach (nai harn) for a week. they charged me 300thb for "lady". i checked back in after nai harn for another month and at the end i got the same 300thb lady charge. no idea how they came up with that amount. i didn't even care to ask. they were nice people and i just paid. i had three ladies in the room twice, two ladies at least 10 times, and lost count on how many one lady nights i had.

the rooms are big and everything is brand new. they all have balconies and you look across to poppa palace and one side of the thara patong resort. nice quiet spot with very easy walking distance to bangla road. the tiger inn on rat u thit (inside road) is where the entrance to the soi is.

GIRLS:

BELOW TIGER DISCO is still the best spot for good looking girls. bar fine 500, s/t 1,000, l/t 2,000, lady drink 170, beer 100. in low season, the place is DEAD until 10pm and the girls don't really get going until 11pm. that is the downside, 11 is a bit late to just get going. i spent alot of time here. since many girls dance on the bar (w/pole), you can sit at one bar and view at least five others at fairly close range. so it can feel like a go go except most girls wear their sexy street clothes, no bikinis, etc...

ROCK HARD A GO GO (above rio, corner of bangla and rat u thit) was actually decent this trip. it was horrible last year. they changed the inside and it is a better layout for viewing the gals. never bar fined from there but some friends did. i just stuck with the beer bars (think 3000 may be the price for rock hard l/t). the place opens at 2pm now (yes, daytime) but i never went in to check the daytime talent, sorry.

SUKUMVIT ROAD this beer bar complex is about a minute walk north of bangla on rat u thit. i'd been in years ago and it was horrid. went this trip and was somewhat surprised. there was some talent in there. two pretty solid gals that i bar fined from under tiger told me they started working in this area. so, i think some of the girls new to patong start off working here. then the good lookers learn about below tiger and realize they can start work at 10 instead of 7 or 8. plus, stop work at 2 instead of 3. four hour shift versus eight.

so that brings me to another point. if you can't make it to 10 or 11 for under tiger, go here at 8 and check it out. forget about the bar on the right as you first go up the steps. never saw anything worthwhile there (i think ladies there start at 4pm). the small bar on the left had some nice ladies (took a couple from here). there are a couple bars upstairs and the girls hang by the stairway to get you to go up there. there are also short time rooms here, but at 500thb, almost as much as your room. again, can be slim pickins but nice to have something that is going before 10.

IRISH BAR, there is a beer bar complex off beach rd (not the real name of the road along the beach but that is what i call it). not near the amount of girls in sukumvit rd but they also tend to gather around 8 or 9 so that is nice. i call it irish bar as there is a sign "irish bar" at the entrance to complex. it is north of bangla, past mcdonalds, across from the immigration office. there are some decent quality pool tables/cues in some of these bars. the free pool tables aren't so good. better to pay the 20/game and get the good stuff. meanwhile, you can scope out the gals that shuffle in for work. these are some of the girls you'll see freelancing later at the various discos.

so there you have the general update on the ladies. stick to under tiger, but give sukumvit a try if you go out early and irish bar if you like to play pool. oh, bar fine at these two is 300. lady drink is still 170. you can try soi eric, lion, crocodile, but i didn't see much and they get going 10 or 11 also. stay away from soi sea dragon, rip off joints and ugly girls.

TRINKETS
as always, be careful when you are bartering for tshirts, hats, and other stuff. i used to figure 50% of their initial quote was a decent price. however, now they’ve really jacked up their initial quote. 25% of the original is now a better way to think. example, i bought two tshirts and a bathing suit. quote 1700thb. purchased for 600thb (probably paid 100thb too much). shitty sunglasses, quote 700thb. i paid 300thb. found out later 200thb is the price.

TAXIS
a moto for close in transport during the day is 40-60thb. night time is almost always 100thb. for a tuk tuk, 100thb to 200thb within patong. sometimes they try for more if you’ve got 4 people. if you care about the extra $$ move on and find another driver. a total of 300thb for two guys and two gals to get home isn’t so bad (and you’ll read why later !!) . car taxi or tuk tuk to kata beach is 300thb, nai harn is 500thb, phuket town is 500thb. if you are doing a r/t and the driver waits an hour or two, you typically pay the one way fare plus 50% to go back. drivers don’t mind waiting.

CAR CRASH/CHARITY TIME
i had been enjoying a two girl deal (no girl girl though) roughly every other night for two weeks. got em from under tiger, i'd pay one 1000 s/t time and another 2,000 l/t. switched it up a couple times on who was s/t and who was l/t. one night the girls said they want to hit the late night disco (safari) which is just on the outskirts of town. i've been there a couple times but just don't see the value in partying from 2 to 5 (or 7) anymore. in any case, i set the girls free from my room as i declined to go. a buddy of mine was in town visiting his thai "girlfriend" and she had borrowed a friends car. he hooked up with my gals at safari and they drove back to patong together (here is where a tuk tuk ride would come in real handy).

they drove off the road and the rear passenger door slammed against a tree. those in the front were fine. car was dusted (damage estimate from shop was over 200,000thb, no typo). my two girls in the back are hospitalized. my first ever hospital visit for a whore (actually whores in this case). of course i thought it was a joke when i got the call, but no. so i had to stroll over to patong clinic, an easy 10 min walk from my hotel. naturally i had some concern for the girls, not too mention my wallet.

no broken bones for the girls but a serious bell ringing. didn't remember what happened, couldn't move, etc.... after a couple days and a few visits with food, i heard the bill for one of em was up to 8000thb. didn't seem too bad. the driver was supposed to pay (thai lady, my friend's girl). i was hoping i didn't get asked to pay. girl got out after three nights and bill got paid. i never asked who paid. probably my buddy but i let him keep that to himself. however, i did get hit up for the "5000thb got stolen from my purse in the wrecked car/tow yard and i need that and more money because i can't work". i just pulled out 10,000thb from an ATM and flipped it to her. i left before she was in proper fuck form but i'm going back soon and i'll get repayment via services (i hope).

the other girls is still down. been a couple weeks now. fucked up bad in the head. still can't walk. i bought her a cell phone and sim (w/300thb phone card) as her phone got lost in the crash. i felt bad that she was in the hospital alone w/o any way to talk with people. she dropped it in the toilet after two days. paid 1,800thb for the phone and sim, 300thb for phone card, and another 300thb to repair phone after toilet drop.

i could have just left town, as some of my friends suggested at the time. but that didn't feel right. i'd had a good time with these girls and took a chance. hopefully, i'll never need their assistance in the hospital and hopefully the gal that is still ailing will recover.

NOW/BEFORE
i went every year from 1996 to 2002. then didn't visit again until 2007. lots of development since my first few visits. i think most of it is good. you walk on sidewalks now instead of straddling sewage ditches. the water quality at patong beach is much better. probably put in some sewage control channels of some sort. food selection was always decent but really good now. the best part is i don't think the prices have gone up for girls and hotels (have for beer and food). i remember referring to 2000thb as a "unit" in 1996. that was because everything cost 2000, a room, a girl, a round of golf, a soapy massage, and your daily food/beverage bill (incl lady drinks). today, l/t is 2000. standard resort style hotel room is 2000. exchange rate in 96 was 25/1 now we are at 30/1 (roughly).

now, for those who have made it this far in the report, the following statement may make you think i'm getting a little carried away. but here goes. there are more good looking girls than i've ever seen in phuket. in the old days, the girls in the beer bars were not good. i always bar fined from the go gos and there were probably five to eight decent go gos. now, the go go scene is history. so all the good lookers moved out into the beer bars. i'm speculating here but i think that drove many ugly gals away (to pattaya ?). and who filled their place, many more cute ladies who could handle the competition.
so there you are, a place where costs haven't really changed over 10 years and the population of attractive ladies is larger than ever. i know it sounds hard to believe. i'm not a diehard thailand guy. i stay in thailand alot because it is cheap (not working right now). i'm guessing the tsunami set them back a bit on pricing and they'll gain some ground in the next couple years.

BUDGET
here is some guidance on what to expect on the budget front during the low season.

2500 for a lady (500 bf plus 2000 l/t)
1500 for a room (this incl breakfast, internet, and tai life gym)
900 for lady drinks (i used 150 for easy math, 6 drinks)
600 for your drinks (100/beer, at under tiger prices)
500 for lunch/dinner
300 to hang on beach (chair 100, 2 water 20, 2 beer 70)
200 transport/phone/laundry

i believe that adds up to 6700, roughly $200/day. if you prefer s/t, take off 1000. if you don't buy many lady drinks, take off 300, if you don't drink much yourself, take off 300. that gets you down to about $150.

Thanks for the Phuket update. I went there for my first 2 trips to Thailand in 2004, but have been going to Bkk and Pattaya ever since. I thought there were more good looking girls in Bkk and Pattaya than Phuket. I'm glad to hear it's changing. I liked everything better about Phuket except for the girls.

yes, despite the improvement from the past, i think phuket is still lacking a bit in terms of the top tier talent. for one, there aren't any girls dancing on mirrored tables or floors w/o panties. that alone can make my brain think "this gal is hot !!!". the 9's and 10's are not all over the place, even under tiger disco. in pattaya, you will have a decent chance for a 9 in some of the top go gos. i think bangkok has the 10's but i haven't been out much in bkk lately.

fortunately, patong is now also lacking in the sub 7 categories. whereas pattaya is bloated with sub 7's. i can think of a few girls in the beer bars of soi 2, 3 and 4 that might rank below zero on the scale !!

fortunately, we have this site to help identify the places to go in pattaya. if you stay in the top go gos, you are in great shape.

thank you for the detailed information Buick! Had a chance to go to Phuket this time round but declined to put some time into really exploring Pattaya (only my 2nd time here). I agree with your scale. lots of 7s here in the bars. the only ones that rank above that are in the gogos and even those are lacking. maybe it's the low season. maybe i haven't been around enough but i do appreciate your reports!

Hey Hombres- I am new to the sight and wanted some advice. 5 of us are going to Phuket in March. We are renting a high end villa just outside of town. Will have a driver, chef etc. Seems like a lot of the guys on the board focus on how much they spend on every detail which provides a good understanding. All my past sex travel has been to the Viking in the Dominican so I was used to spending alot. That being said would anyone have any advice on how to go about just loading the villa with 10 really hot girls and just keeping them for 3 or 4 days to share and doing the same for another 3 or 4 days with a different set of girls. Is that possible...or is it just go to the bars grab your girl(s) for the night and have the driver take them back to town when your ready to pass out? Thanks for the assist.

There are Escort services in Thailand that could fulfil that need but they are all in Bangkok. None in Phuket that I am aware of. There would be no mechanism there to get groups of girls delivered to your villa. Unless you fly in girls from Bangkok I think you are left with shopping individually. However, they would be more than willing to stay for more than one night I'm sure. Especially in a high end villa with presumably great food etc.

i'd go in with the expectation that you'll need to "reload" each evening. sending the girls home in the am (long time charge, usually 2,000thb) or sometime in the late evening (short time charge usually 1,000thb). if you grab 10, i'd guess 2 would be game for a long term stay (a few days). if you take a couple girls from the same bar, your odds will probably improve. maybe 4 will be game for a long term stay.

if the girls are going to have multiple partners, they'll likely require more money and they might be a bit shy for that on night number one at the villa. i think the phuket girls are a little more tame than those in pattaya or bangkok. and they are in phuket for that exact reason, less sleaze factor, couldn't handle working in pattaya/bkk.

so, each of you may want to buy your own girls (2 or 3) and test them out. the one's that perform well, come back the next night for a new partner. after a few days of that program, you should be in pretty good shape. the girls will loosen up a bit as they get to know everyone and will probably be more open to staying longer and taking on multiple partners. and you'll probably get close to 10 girls by then. who knows, your group might be masterful and pull it off quicker.

are you staying in kata beach ? and i look forward to the report following your trip.