The Pope wanted to see a ping pong show he has never seen one before and was curious so we headed to Patpong after a quick stop at the night market. The Saum Lum Night market is a fun place with a great open air entertainment area. There are plenty of cute girls trying to sell you everything from imported English beer to Pizzas and Thai food. It is a nice place to get your tourist shopping out of the way.
Years ago I had my first foot massage at a parlour near Patpong-it was great so I talked the Pope into a foot massage before heading off to find his sporty event. We walk around the old market for a bit but it is not a pleasant experience with touts hounding you continuously and over priced beer and Go-Go bars. I have to admit that some of those go-go girls where very cute among the best I have seen in a wile but their attitude sucked and the pricing was out of whack. I am also convinced that a lot of them where lady boys although the waitress and mamas an denied it.
Eventually after walking around the whole area a few times we found a show. I was bored and the Pope was unimpressed. It was getting late so we took a tuk-tuk back to NEP and headed to Angel Witch to say hi to Dave the Rave. We got there an hour before closing and had a few drinks, and stayed there until closing.
On the way out we stopped past the parking lot at the Nana Hotel. The place was packed, a real cattle market, and I pulled a short time for Bht 2000. It is nice to be back in LOS, it feels a little like coming home.
Nov. 9th
Although I would be back in Bangkok in a few days, it was the Popes only day in the city so we went shopping, hitting MBK, Paragon and Siam centre.
I had to be back at the hotel by four because my Thai ex had sent some goodies for her family and her sister was coming to fetch them before we had to leave. It took about 30 minutes to the airport. We were flying Air Asia and I had booked express boarding; if you fly this airline I highly recommend this option.
The flight was better then I had hoped and when we arrived at Hanoi, the airport was a little nicer then I had expected. I was at the front of the queue at passport control so I got through quickly and picked up my bag, it was first on the carousel, and I was waved through customs. The driver from the hotel was waiting. I changed some cash and we were on our way. It was a dark night as we drove to the city so I couldn't get a sense of the place. The Splendid Star hotel is situated down a side street too narrow for a car, and I had to climb over people having their dinner on the street to get to the entrance. The hotel was nicer than it first appeared and the staff was overly friendly. The hotel seemed pretty central to the old district. We walked to the river and found a weekend night market: small, nice and diverse, a nice change from the T-shirt and DVD markets. Luckily for us the city had dried out and there was no sign of the previous week's floods. At the top of the market there were a few outdoor eateries, very simple out door affairs; we stopped and had a beer and watched the world go by. It was just after 11, and after midnight the place filled up with locals having a late dinner. We had a few beers and counted the rats as they scuttled around the eateries, not exactly the most hygienic of eateries. When we paid the Pope made a very obvious mistake with the tip, but before he could correct it the waiter slithered away, it was no biggie but a foreboding taste of things to come. When we headed back at about 1 AM the roads were dark. The walk was uneventful although I didn't feel safe and at one point a car played chicken with us and almost ran us over, I guess the driver thought it was funny but I didn't.
Nov. 10th
I'm the morning I had my first taste of Vietnam's national dish Phoo, pronounced Fur. It's a meaty broth with rice noodles, vegetables and beef-a very tasty, if different, breakfast. We left early for a tour of this dusty, polluted, and overcrowded run-down town. It was Monday and the idiot guide took us from closed mausoleum to closed museum, all the time telling us the history of Hanoi and Vietnam, confusing 1074 with 1974 and kings with communists. I don't know if there is any culture in the city, we never found it. Then I asked where we could find some "nice Vietnamese girls" the driver recommended The Relax Bar, saying it was a good ladies bar. I checked with the hotel manager and he said that the hotel was guest friendly as long as the girls have IDs. The bar was a short walk from the hotel. At first the place looked promising with lots of good looking girls but although the place had a nice vibe, it quickly became clear that this was not the right type of bar. A girl sat with me and we had a few drinks and chatted. It was pleasant but the evening soured after the manageress started shouting at a little girl and made her cry in the middle of the bar. It was already late and I was past caring. My distaste for the city was further intensified when a gaggle of girls came over to us. At first I thought they where street pros but it was weird and they were very clingy. All of a sudden they hopped on a bike and where gone…along with my camera.
The camera was replaceable but I lost some irreplaceable pictures.
Nov. 11th
I had a breakfast of baguette, eggs and fruit until the 8.30 pickup for Ho Long Bay. My short stay in Hanoi had been way too long. People make the town and Hanoi has very little to recommend it. It's a drab town with a sense of desperation about it. The locals, and I am sure there are exceptions to this, have a lean and hungry look, I felt a little more like a lamb then a guest. I should have followed the advice of friends that had been there before me and given the place a miss.
The ride to Ho Long was uneventful, the scenery uninspired with an obligatory stop at the tourist rip-off place. All in all it took about three and a half hours to get to Ho Long. The view is great, stunning and a perfect place for a sultry few days-although I could do without the hike through the caves, they are not really that interesting and the time could have been better spent with a beer on the sun deck. The boat was new and way beyond expectations with friendly staff and great food, especially if you like sea food. Most of the following pictures are courtesy of the Pope and his Nikon. The place is a photographer's paradise.
The Caves
Heading back to port.
The cabin
Nov. 12th
Woke on my birthday headed up to the sun deck and watched some of the most stunning scenery go by. The bus back stopped at the same pottery factory that we had stopped at on the way in.
Then we got back to the hotel I wanted to report my stolen camera, not with any anticipation of the cops doing anything but for insurance purposes. It was clear from the way the hotel handled the matter that this was not the first time that one of their guests had been through this. They told me it would take a few hours and I would have to bribe cops VCD200,000. They made it very clear that the local law enforcement don't like foreigners reporting crime and treat you like the criminals. To take the theft report was made as inconvenient and time consuming as possible. I didn't have the time as we were supposed to fly to Da Nang in about an hour.
Got into Da Nang at about 9 after an uneventful hour long flight, Vietnam Airways flight was a lot nicer then I had expected. The hotel was great went up to the hotel bar which had great views of the city.
On arrival in Da Nang you can feel the difference between north and south that everyone talks about. We had dinner in the hotel, and after dinner I took one of the waiters aside and questioned him on where I could find some friendly girls. He recommended the disco in the hotel. The hotel was up market so I tried to be a little less obtuse about what I was looking for but that just seemed to embarrass him so I backed off. After dinner we took a walk along the river. The whole area seemed OK and I didn't feel as threatened as I had in Hanoi. We walk around for a few hours but everything seemed closed and we couldn't even find a bar that was open.
Nov. 13th
We had only a day in town and recon had not turned up any info on a p4p scene, but from the size of the place there has to be more to see. We decided to do the tourist thing and hired a driver for the day. We went out to Marble Mountain and Lo Hou, with a driver who spoke no English.
Another sign that we were no longer in the north: I had left my cell phone in the safe in the room on check out and it was waiting for me at reception with a smile. The flight to Ho Chi Min City left about ½ an hour late. It was a nice flight and took about an hour. The Vietnamese airhostesses are cute, really cute.
On arrival at the hotel the bell boy tried to rip me off for VND500,000, saying that it was "small money" and good for a tip. Asshole. I cleaned up and we were off to the bars. As we walked down the street the touts came out, these guys were much too grabby for me and not in a good way, too aggressive. The girls would leave the doors open so you could have a quick glimpse inside while they shouted their hellos. If it was not for the touts it would have been kind of fun. We decided to be methodical and start at the bar furthest from our hotel and thanks to Buick's excellent directions we found the place easily. Well, the best laid plans of mice and men…as soon as we entered the bar a real stunner approached the Pope and after a few minutes he made it really clear that he had no intention of moving on, so I pulled a girl named Mee from Club 91. Love motel drinks, bar fine, girl and tip total cost $150.00 way to excessive for a short time even a fun one and she was fun if a little clingy. But I have to wonder if you session with a girl named Me, is that the same as fucking me and if so isn't fucking Me the same as masturbation? And that begs the question, was it worth $150?
Photos: Mee - Bar 91 01 02 03 04
Nov. 14th
I had pre booked a city tour through the hotel, and had asked for a group tour. You know the type: a bus load of 15 minute firm friends from around the world. Usually these tours are better organized then the personal tours and have better guides. The hotel emailed me that this was not possible, better we take private car with private driver. Imagine my surprise then I found that the Pope and I where the only two people in the hotel with a private tour while everyone else was on a group tour. True to form our guide had almost no English and was totally disinterested really, just going through the motions. The tour took us to the White House, the former centre of the South Vietnamese government, a war museum, Chinatown and markets.
There where a few weddings on the street and the Pope joined the other tourists in taking a few pictures.
The old "White house" or as its called now Unification Palace.
I asked the guide to take me to a military surplus store, but he took me to a hole in the wall place with very little of interest. When I asked if this was the best place in town, he was adamant that it was. I was very disappointed. I also wanted to look at a camera shop to replace my camera that was stolen. He tried to get me to buy one from his cousin's hole in the wall Fuji photomat. The boy did not inspire confidence.
I didn't feel like repeating the antics of the night before. The bars were hell, too aggressive, and I was too tired to deal with the pressure. Vietnamese girl are really cute and just my taste but I was not up to the hassle and the expense. I took a short nap and headed out on my last night in Vietnam. The Pope and I did a traditional Pub crawl avoiding the more notorious spots and stopping for dinner at a restaurant recommended in a tour guide book. Eventually hung out at the Latin bar near the hotel-great waitresses, cool place, decent food.
Nov. 15th
Imagine my surprise, after the previous days long chat with our overpriced guide, then I discovered in a guide book that near the hotel was a large military market, I spent my morning wandering around fake GI lighters and real Vietnamese medals. The place is worth a visit, a real taste of the old Saigon. We then headed to a shopping centre and a flea Market before heading back to the hotel and checking out.
Before heading to the airport, we hit the Latin Bar one last time where I had the best Chicken avocado baguette I have ever tasted. We thought about having an afternoon session with some of the cuties at the numerous bars, but where discouraged by the price. I would be in LOS soon and the idea of spending $200.00 on a short time seemed a little obscene. The ride back to the airport took about ½ an hour and was uneventful. The only excitement was when we arrived at the airport and I discovered that I had made a mistake with the flight times and we had just 1 hour before flight. The 15 kg limit once again created hassles. I stuffed most of my stuff into my carry-on but the Pope was still over so we made the gate only a few minutes before they closed. I also had a little problem in that I had lost exit card, but the customs agents where pretty good humored about it. Once again Express boarding on Air Asia is worthwhile.
Linh Hotel
The hotel is unassuming and not a great deal at US$60 a night. The lift was slow. Staff was helpful and friendly but with an agenda we were overcharged when we left, not big money but enough to leave a bad taste. The rooms are big and clean if a little run down; the air-conditioned in mine was underpowered and noisy. My room had two double beds and a small balcony but not much of a view. No in-room safe so you would have to leave valuables at the safe at the front desk. Bathrooms were a little old world, the shower in mine was grossly under powered. The hotel was in easy walking distance of some great restaurants, some seedier go-go's and some fun bars. It was also a cheap taxi ride from pretty much anywhere you would want to go and see. The breakfast area is tiny and they allow smoking. The breakfast fare is pretty basic with the mandatory Phoo on the menu.
Some passing thoughts on the land of Phoo:
The Pope is heading home and I will be off to Pattaya. It's strange that I am looking forward to leaving, Vietnam, sadly with almost as much anticipation as I looked forward to travelling there but then again I still have ten days in LOS. I imagine if the opportunity presented itself I would like to explore the South of Vietnam a little more. But the place is not really set up for tourists yet and although the girls are oh so cute, at $150 to $200 short time it's price prohibitive. I am glad I visited and in the south of the country I had a good time in general, but I will not be rushing back.