2002/12 Anonymous - Back From Havana (Cuba)
ClubHombre.com: -TripReports-: Trip Report Archive: Caribbean: Cuba: 2002/12 Anonymous - Back From Havana (Cuba)
By Anonymous on Saturday, December 21, 2002 - 5:17 pm

OVERALL: Well fellas, just back from another epic trip to HAV. Stayed 14 days and did around 15 different chicas, some 2 at a time. I also had more hassles on this trip with Cuban authorities than I've ever had before. As far as crackdowns go, there is still tight control on the streets but can be easily overcome, and several of the biggest discos are basically off limits to unescorted chicas. There is much talk among the casa owners of the rule changes that have been discussed on this board and others. They have all heard and confirmed the rule changes in the provinces and worry what the effect might be if they were applied in Havana. All is just rumor at this point and none of them seemed too worried about it.

HASSLES: My trip started out on the wrong foot. From the second I stepped into customs at Jose Marti, the Cubans were eyeballing me. They were also eyeballing a few other likely mongers. I blended in with a group of American tourists with whom I was getting a ride into town. As I was leaving the 2 customs girls at the door asked me a series of questions designed to profile me: Why did I have so much baggage? Was I staying in a hotel or casa particular? What was the purpose of my visit? Etc... I played as stupid as possible (easy for me) and spoke only in broken Spanish, explaining that I was with this group of American tourists. They took a moment to look me over and looked at the tourists who were mostly in their 50's ( I'm in my 30's). In Spanish the girl in charge finally said to the other one "he seems fine, let him go". I had tons of women's clothes and make-up in my baggage which I sell in Havana to meet chicas and to recoup my trip costs.

My usual apartment for the last 5 years has been rented out to a frenchman long term so I was sent to my landlady's cousins apartment. The apartment seemed fine, farther out in Vedado than I like, but the conditions seemed OK and the entire 2 BR apartment was mine at $40/nite. I called one of my regular chicas and spent the night fucking her. I return from dropping her off next AM to find Immigration interrogating the landlady. Seems someone on her block ratted her out for having an extranjero in her unlicensed casa. The landlady elegantly lied that I was her brother-in-law invited to stay with her, that I wasn't paying rent, etc... Somehow after a couple hours immigration seemed satisfied with this. The next AM Vivienda, the housing authority, showed up and was ready to fine the landlady $1500 for having me there without authorization. We explained that Immigration had already been there and were satisfied, etc... Then Vivienda asked to see my A-2 visa. Immigration had failed to mention this. A 2 hour hassle ensued which finally ended with me bribing the Vivienda officers with $100 (repaid to me by the landlady later) and promising to get my Visa changed to A-2 Monday (it was now Friday afternoon and the Visa office was closed). After Vivienda finally got out of there, I went downstairs to find my car had been broken into and the car stereo stolen. What followed was another hassle with me having to wait 12 hours with the neighborhood cop in the house with me until the investigators showed up to give me the report I needed for the insurance. I was in the police station until 2:30am. I had now lost the first 2 days of my trip and was very pissed.

Everything finally got resolved, my buddies at the car rental agency let me slide on the deposit (car stereos are not covered by the insurance), I got my visa changed to help the landlady out, then promptly moved out to a Penthouse in a tall building in Vedado. I finally got my trip back on track.

CHICAS: In the clubs it was a buyer's market with tons of chicas standing around bored with few or no Yumas to hit on. There were some beautiful ones whom I personally know to be great fucks just sitting around for the taking. This held true for every club I went to with the exception of the one Sat. night Paulito FG played at the Casa de la Musica on Galiano where it was 10 guys to 1 chica, and the following Sat. night when Bamboleo played La Macumba and there were just no chicas available. Control at Macumba is just too strict these days and it's too far out and expensive for chicas to risk it. I happened to bring 2 chicas with me that night (what can I say I like 3 ways) and the solo Italians were offering them big money to dump me. My chicas stayed loyal and the Italians were left to go home and jack off. Fuck them. By the way Bamboleo sucked. They were a shadow of their former selves. And Paulito FG rocked!! That guy could be as big as Marc Anthony or any of them if he had a chance to crack the big markets.

El Chevere now sucks. They raised the entry price to $15 (still open bar) plus the cold night temps have put a damper on the place. Plus undercovers busted a few girls there end of last month.

Turquino also sucks these days.

According to the chicas the only games in town are the 2 Casas de la Musica which I saw were filled with prowling chicas and Johnny's which I wouldn't step into if you held me at gunpoint. I passed-by but never went into several of the B-level clubs, Amanecer, La Red, Las Vegas, Rosalia de Castro, and all were also overflowing with chicas. I did go to a couple of the various afternoon matinees which are always a favorite hunting ground of mine for non-pro and semi-pro chicas and pulled one hot rubia waitress

All this will change this weekend as all the guajiro jineteras are leaving Havana to return home to be with their families until after New Years. Havana over the holidays is always boring and expensive and you can come-up dry if you don't know what you?re doing. I do not recommend it to anyone.

For me I hate the disco girls as they are always too-hardcore and likely rip-offs and liars. I go to the clubs to see specific acts and bring my own chicas with me. If I see a girl I want to get to know, I slip her my cell number and proceed to break her down off her price etc.. when she calls me the next day. One night at Casa de la Musica in Miramar I had brought a date with me and was helping 2 Yumas I know find their way around. Well finally I got bored and wanted to go home and start fucking, but one of my Yumas hadn't locked in yet. I told him to blow it off as all the girls were asking too much and were just being too hardcore (this Yuma didn't take me up on my offer to set him up with a chica from my stable. The other one, his buddy, did and was much happier). The Yuma decides he wants this one chica so I talk to her and can tell she's lying to me about price and staying all night and allowing multiple pops, etc.... I tell him that and say he'd be much better off hopping in a cab and cruising for some late night roadkill than going with this tramp, but the Yuma says the most dangerous words in human history: "I DON'T CARE, I JUST REALLY WANT TO FUCK HER". Wars and famines have been caused by those words. Long story short, we go back to the penthouse, where I grab everything that belongs to me and lock myself into my bedroom with my chica. Next day I learn that the Disco chica demanded money up-front, wouldn't blow him without a rubber, wouldn't leave when asked without payment in full and then left the elevator door open in the lobby, thereby cutting off elevator service to the building. Needless to say, the guy was one unhappy Yuma.

ROADKILL: For me, as I've said here countless times, the best way to meet great beautiful normal non-pro girls in Havana is to meet them on the streets during the daytime. I gave rides to girls and fucked them later. I gave a ride to one girl who turned out to be a famous TV star and we struck up a great friendship with her setting me up with her actress friends. (The actress herself wasn't my type, but it was fun hanging out with her and watching her sign autographs.) I gave a ride to an older Mulatta woman who turned out to be a legendary former showgirl and is now the director of one of the major showgirl revues (I won't say which one.) She invited me to rehearsal the next day where I got to pick out the girls I liked. I went out with 2 of them fucked both and really hit it off one whom I'm going to keep seeing. I stopped girls who were walking with their families doing their Christmas shopping, and ended up getting set up with one of the most gorgeous non-pro girls I've ever met in Havana. I don't throw words around like that lightly, but I'm telling you, this one is special. I went after anyone anywhere. Many times I got shot down. Who cares? It's a numbers game and I stick with it. That's how the game is played in Havana.

I'll be returning again in Feb. I've got a few pics. I may post them I may not. None are nudies and I won't post chicas' faces to protect their anonymity so what's the point?

By Blazers on Saturday, December 21, 2002 - 11:19 pm

And everyone thought that I was exaggerating about the change in atmosphere....I think this crackdown phase goes in cycles in order to placate the general tourist population into believing that prostitution is a thing of the past in Cuba. At least you didn't have to suffer through a hurricane and a lack of electricity and flight delays as a result...I'm itching to go back due to the unreal beauty of the mulattas in that country....cant wait to hear the rest of your travels..

By Sandman on Sunday, December 22, 2002 - 7:41 am

Thanks for the update. Good to hear from you.

Sandman

By Hombrecito1 on Sunday, December 22, 2002 - 7:51 am

Anonymous,

I compliment you again with the way you handle yourself with the ladies. That comment "I dont care, I just really want to fuck her" is great and has done me in few times in the past. Guys here can't comprehend at first the number of available women and get locked in. I've seen it happen to many guys detriment. I agree that the most important thing about mongering is always being able to cut them loose or walk when they bitch or give you some outrageous price.

That's a shame about the immigration/police hassles at the beginning and it's the main reason I won't be in Cuba in the foreseeable future. I would like to go one day. I speak Spanish and the chicas look really hot. Hope all goes well your next trip. Please keep us informed.

By Dongringo on Sunday, December 22, 2002 - 11:34 am

Great update. Thanks for keeping us up the latest news.
In spite of all the hassles, there's an allure to the island, isn't there? It's like no other place I've ever been to. How much worse would it have to get before you'd stop going there?

By Anonymous on Sunday, December 22, 2002 - 12:25 pm

The second they open up a Blue Marlin in Havana I'm outta there.

By Sman on Sunday, December 22, 2002 - 4:04 pm

Hombrecito1
Well said, that is a lesson all mongers need to learn, I just hope I can put it in practice the next time I am in Havana.

Anonymous
Thanks again for filling us in on the situation in Havana. I have been working faithfully on my Spanish, but still have a very long way to go.

By Davidd on Sunday, December 22, 2002 - 10:53 pm

Any suggestions/hints for Havana over the holidays? Unfortunately, I have no alternative BUT to go from Christmas to New Years', since there's no other time my employer will let me out of my cage :-(. (My whole company is closed during that time).

I already have my reservations made, so I don't want to back out of the trip, but I'd appreciate any thoughts you have - if your only possible Havana trip was during the holidays, what would you do to make it as interesting as possible?

Are chica prices unchanged from $30-40?

Many thanks.

D

By Anonymous on Monday, December 23, 2002 - 2:36 pm

Don't worry there will still be tons of chicas, but you may have to work a bit harder. You should do what they do in the intermediate class: Hit on chicas during the day. Invite themm for a beer or refresco at a close-by cafe. Talk to her a bit. If you've got no spanish skills invest a few bucks in an electronic translator. If she immediately asks for a pack of cigarettes or orders an imported beer, she's soaking you: dump her immediately. If she has a job and/or goes to school she's a keeper. Invite her back to your casa for the next round or make a date for later.

The night you really have to be prepared for is New Year's Eve. Line-up your favorite chica (or in my case chicas)and either hunker down at the casa with some videos and a bottle, or pick your favorite club and head out on the town. If you do go out, know it's going to be spendy: Some of the top places are charging $300 for New Years!!!

Disco chicas are asking $100. Street Chicas $60. Correct price is 50% of asking. Just remember: you must negotiate!!! Even if you only beat her down by $5, you must set the terms, not her.

Have fun!!!

By Davidd on Monday, December 23, 2002 - 6:24 pm

Unfortunately (or fortunately in terms of money), I'll be leaving New Years' eve because the New Years' ticket prices were prohibitive, and because I wanted to be reasonably well rested for my first day of work.

I'll probably find a casa, hang out at the Malecon (which I think I'll enjoy photographing, perfect cover) and see what shows up. I have an electronic translator already, and have invested in Spanish Language software (The Rosetta Stone) which is giving me at least some rudimentary basics.

I'm bringing a SLR-style digital camera and my laptop, but no video camera - I decided my expensive 3-chip XL1 would just look too press-like for the customs folks and chicas.

Any advice on the best way to secure a laptop and digital camera, both (unfortunately) pretty expensive items?

Will there be any trouble with the laptop in customs?

Thanks for your help!

D

By Hombrecito1 on Monday, December 23, 2002 - 6:40 pm

"If she immediately asks for a pack of cigarettes or orders an imported beer, she's soaking you: dump her immediately"

Great advice. People should take note of this.

By Anonymous on Monday, December 23, 2002 - 6:44 pm

No Trouble with the laptop in Customs. You've asked me before about securing your cameras and I keep saying the same thing: Lock them up!! Consult your local camera store. Remember what I told you about pics, it's fun to post them here, but conceal the chicas identities or possibly ruin their lives forever. No joke.

Basically, my advice to you is relax. Many first-timers overthink things. Explore the whole city. The Malecon is 90% hardcores and the other 10% you won't be able to get. Get off the beaten path and talk to everybody EXCEPT ANYONE WHO BEGINS A SENTENCE WITH "MY FREN..." He is not your friend, he wants to rip you off!!

By Davidd on Monday, December 23, 2002 - 11:48 pm

I think more than anything the pictures will be for my enjoyment when I get back, so the raw photos will probably show faces if possible, but anything posted won't. I might even run the pictures I propose to post past some of you because I understand what an important issue this is for the girls.

I'm thinking of an artistic style backlit effect to show curves instead of identities.

I do tend to overanalyze things; it's a miracle that I'm actually going instead of just piling research upon research :-). What made up my mind was that lovely Ecudorian friend I have; she may want to be friends only, but her advice is good, and it was to get out there and do something.

Anyway, 24 hours from now I will be in LAX about to start on this great adventure! Wow.

D

By Ceenotes on Tuesday, December 24, 2002 - 2:12 pm

What is the cheapest and fastest way to cuba?
I heard cancun? any other suggestions?

CN

By Anonymous on Tuesday, December 24, 2002 - 2:25 pm

Matters where you're coming from. This topic has been discussed before. Do a search here and do a google search for other web options.

By Anonymous on Tuesday, December 24, 2002 - 3:43 pm

I was just retelling stories from this trip to a buddy of mine and realized I forgot to tell you guys a great one: one night just for giggles I pulled an American chick and it reminded me why I hate most of them.

I'm friendly with an extranjero who works in Havana. He emailed me before my trip and asked me to bring him some hard to find computer supplies. We met up on a rainy night in Miramar for me to give him his stuff and have a few drinks. I walk into the meeting place and he's got 3 Yuma chicks with him one of whom, and average looking brunette with nice tits, he describes as his sometime girlfriend. She clarifies that sometime didn't include right then, with a big loopy grin. Alright, I figure, this might get interesting.

After a few rounds, they are all pretty wasted. My friend and the least appealing of the chicks beg-off. He's got to get up early to work, and I couldn't care less what the ugly chick's excuse was. That leaves me 2 Yuma chicks: the decent one with the nice tits who'd only been in Havana for 10 days, and her friend who was Irish and had only been there 3 nights. I'm not certain I'm going to be able to fuck either of these chicks, so I suggest a change in venue to where I know I can lock in some local talent in the worst case.

We go to this little place I know and the chicks begin grilling me on what is a jinetera and how to recognize them, etc... The Irish one goes off on the typical bullshit rant about how men are exploiting these women and how she just doesn't understand how the chicas can allow themselves to be used this way, bla blah bla. Then the Brunette pipes in with how she's bisexual and would like to sample a Cubanita for herself. "Well step into my parlor," said the spider to the Yuma-chick fly. I say I've helped hundreds of Yuma guys get laid in Havana but never a woman and offer my services. She's up for it.

I point out several of the available chicas in the place and start calling over the ones this chick finds attractive. The Irish one starts grumbling about how disgusting it is and I realize I've got to deal with this buzzkill or she's going to cock-block me right out of a possible 3 way. So I literally turn to the first Cuban guy I can find, a 20-something white Cuban jinetero seated at a table next to mine with his Yumas, and tell the guy that I've got this drunk Irish chick who thinks he's hot, and ask if he wants to fuck her. He's of course more than willing.

I turn to the Irish chick and say "This is a Cuban buddy of mine. He thinks you're really attractive." Now mind you, I've never seen this Cuban guy before in my life, but the drunken Irish skank gets dreamy-eyed. I switch seats with the Cubano and he and Ireland are sucky sloppy face within minutes. So much for her feminist bullshit. At least the Cubanas get some money out of the deal.

I concentrate my attentions on the brunette, but the available chicas are all shutting her down. Spontaneous 3 ways are a little harder to pull off in Havana than say Rio. I keep pouring drinks down this chick until I've got her convinced to just come back to my place and fuck me, and I'll call in one of my regulars for a 3-way another time.

I drag Ireland and her Cubano along and we go back to my pad. I give the Cubano some rubbers and tell him under no circumstances is he to bother me or let that Irish bitch cock-block me. He smiles, no problem.

Well here is where it gets rough. This American chick kisses like a moose, gives toothy head, has a zitty flabby ass, a big hairy bush, and lays there like a beached salmon during sex. Boy did I miss my Cubanitas. I dumped a load and kicked the two Yuma broads out into a cab. Me and the Cubano went to the hotel he works at for breakfast and compared notes for a few laughs.

It was fun but more than anything it was a good reminder why I dislike most Yuma chicks and love my red-hot little Cubanitas.

By Badseed on Wednesday, December 25, 2002 - 11:19 am

Dooosh:

Ahhhhhhrg!You've bought back horrible mental images of the last american broad I ever fucked (12 years ago!). Please don't do that ever again!

Hehehe, "kisses like a moose..beached salmon", that was too good.

BS

By Dongringo on Wednesday, December 25, 2002 - 6:56 pm

Badseed
12 years? Really?? OMG that's really something. What dedication. Which begs these questions of the general membership?

1. How long since you fucked a gringa?
2. How long since you fucked a gringa pro?

If I knew how to start this survey on the survey page, I surely would.

You're to be commended on your ability to finish in spite of big bushes and flabby, white pimply asses. The fact that you "dumped a load" and "kicked the Yuma broad out" shows an ability to focus on the task at hand in SPITE OF the obstacles. Way to come through buddy.

By Ezeamante on Thursday, December 26, 2002 - 3:22 am

Finally a poll question worth answering. It has been 6 years since I've had any gringa in the states, and 4 from Canada. I make several trips a year on business to Mexico, and I've started making a trip every two months to BA, and prefer both the pro and non-pro latinas to anything I have had in the states, including american latinas. This country ruins their attitudes. The latinas have spoiled me by being truely feminine, even the more hard core pros beat the stateside girls.

It would take a stunner with a great attitude to change my mind, and I haven't met any of those here.

Just MHO.

EZE

By Badseed on Thursday, December 26, 2002 - 8:11 am

DG:

I've never fucked a gringa pro, why? what's the point.

As for gringas in general, I lie (a little bit), I'm snatching an occasional munch on the Cajun/Creole girl my boss hired (when we can get away from my wife, her fiance, and our horny old bastard boss), but I submit that she doesn't really count as a typical gringa. It's the white-bread, mall-hopping, my-shit-don't stink, suburban bitch that I avoid like the plague.

Anonymous: You are truly a mongering GOD.... ;-)

BS

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