In late March and early April 2000, I traveled to Bangkok, Pattaya, and Phuket. I'll write my report geared toward the first-time visitor. Here's my recollection of my adventure:

I flew from Seattle-to-Narita-to-Bangkok on NW Airlines and arrived at 11:00 p.m. The passengers debark and are bussed to the terminal for passport control. All the passengers line up in the first few passport control lines so the lines are real long and moving slow. Another passenger walks by and tells me that if I walk further down, there are other passport controls. Sure enough, I walk a few feet down past a wall and there are passport controls with only a few people in line. Without asking me any questions, my passport is stamped and I'm on my way to collecting my luggage.

If you arrive in Bangkok without any reservation, there's a booth in the airport that will assist you getting a hotel room and transportation. While at the airport, I exchange US$500 at a currency exchange booth. As you exit, taxi drivers will be eagerly waiting for you. If you catch a taxi at the arrival terminal, you'll be paying extra. From what I've been told, these taxi drivers have to pay a fee to the airport to pick-up passengers at the arrival terminal so they charge more. If you're interested in saving a few extra bahts, take the elevator upstairs to the departure terminal and catch a taxi that's dropping off a passenger.

I'm with several buddys so we rent a mini-van and we're off to the Nana Hotel. It's about 1:00 a.m. and the streets are still buzzing. After checking in and putting everything of value in the safe deposit box, I walk across the street to the Nana Plaza. After a long flight, I'm probably too eager. I walk into the G-Spot Go-Go Club and sit down for a drink and watch the stage act. Before I know it, an attractive and topless bargirl sits next to me. She just sits there and smiles at me. She doesn't ask me to take her out. She just smiles at me. I can't resist a pretty topless girl who's smiling at me after such a long flight. I ask if she would like to go back to my room for a short-time (I also need my sleep) and she agrees. I pay her 500 baht (~$15) bar fine and 1,000 baht (~$26). There are no guest fees or hassle at the Nana Hotel. For the most part, Thai girls will insist upon you using a condom (bring your own). Some Thai girls won't give BJs so ask if they "smoke" if you want a BJ. After a good long session, she leaves at 4:00 a.m. She wants me to go downstairs to the disco in the hotel but I'm beat and need some sleep.

Pharmacies in Thailand will sell you Viagra and nearly all other kinds of controlled substance without a prescription. Viagra is slightly more expensive in Thailand than USA. If you have trouble sleeping, you can purchase sleeping pills (be careful!). The next morning, I purchase Panadol for my headache and Disento for a stomach disorder. The cost was only 20 baht.

If you stay at the Nana Hotel, they have a FREE "American-style" breakfast that fairly decent.

Whenever I travel, I like to travel real light, i.e., one carry-on luggage. Thailand is no exception. You don't need to bring much clothing. Unless you wear extra large, if you need more clothes you can buy it there cheap, wear it, and leave it. The hotel offers cheap and quick laundry service. All you need are small trial size shampoo, toothpaste, shaving cream, etc. Around the corner from the Nana Plaza is a supermarket that carries many of the same brand name toiletry goods that you'll find in the USA.

Bangkok is pretty much a night life town for guys like us. If you want to do the tourist sightseeing stuff, a bargirl can make a great guide. One of my buddies did this and he said he had a great time and she saved him lots of money 'cause she did all the bargaining for him.

If you need to kill some time during the day, take a taxi or the elevated train to the Siam Center at the National Stadium. It's six to seven floors of shops, restaurants, and movie theaters. The most shops and restaurants that I have ever seen in one location. It's also air conditioned so its a good place to escape the heat and humidity.

For dinner, I recommend eating at least once at the "Cabbages & Condoms." Yes, "Condoms." They serve good Thai food with displays of condoms (unused) from around the world. The smallest condom on display was attributed to the French, but I think it was intended as an insult. It's a pretty popular restaurant with foreigners.

As in Costa Rica and the Philippines, taxi and tuk tuk drivers will try to get you to go to a particular massage parlor. If you go with them, you'll end up paying much more. If you stay at or near the Nana Hotel, Annie's Massage Parlor is located just down the street within easy walking distance. A good place to go, but my favorite massage parlor was Cupidy Massage located at Nikom-Makkasan Road.

To avoid the extra taxi driver kick-back, ask the taxi driver to take you to the Prince Hotel which is located next door to Cupidy. When he drops you off, walk inside the hotel and use the bathroom. The taxi driver should be gone by the time you go back outside so you can walk over to Cupidy without having to pay the taxi driver kick-back. Cupidy is nice because you can sit down, relax and carefully look for the right girl. If you don't see anyone that appeals to you, there are two other massage parlors (same owners) located next to Cupidy. At the other two massage parlors, it's not as comfortable since there's no place to sit down so you feel rushed to make a selection.

At Cupidy, I select an attractive 26 year old who stood out because she had short hair similar to ice skater Dorothy Hamel's haircut. The house charge was 1,800 baht (I've been told that the taxi kickback can add an extra 500-800-or more). The massage parlor is very clean and modern. She takes me upstairs for a soapy massage. I've had a soapy massage in the USA but nothing compares to a Thai soapy massage. Words can't describe the event and do it justice. Imagine a beautiful naked women in a soapy lather rubbing her entire naked body over every part of you. She even does a "scissor" massage with her legs between mine and rubbing her . . . After being thoroughly cleaned and aroused, we retired to a round bed with mirrors on the walls and ceiling. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

To be continued. . . .

In my previous posting about Cupidy, I failed to mention that I gave a 1,000 baht tip to the masseuse for the extra service and she was well worth it.

Tipping is a western custom, but in Thailand, the locals who service western tourists have been programmed to expect it. To avoid overtipping and getting short-changed, break your 500 and 1,000 bahts into smaller bills - primarily 20 baht. Use a money clip to keep your 20 baht as tip money. If you're constantly going for your wallet to give tips or make small purchases, you're sending a signal to a pickpocket that you have money and where you keep your wallet. I made that mistake and had my wallet picked out of my front cargo pants pocket.

Taking a taxi to all the Bangkok night spots, e.g., Nana, Pattpong, Soi Cowboy, should cost no more than 100 baht with or without meter. We usually offer to pay a flat fare of 100 baht and the taxi driver alway agreed. A tuk tuk is cheaper, but not my personal preference.

Pattpong has bars that cater to straights, Japanese, and gays. If you happen to wander into the wrong area, you'll know immediately, especially in the gay area.

If you don't like crowds, stay away from Pattpong. The walking street in front of the bars is packed, and I mean packed, with people and street vendors. This is where the infamous Kangaroo Club for bj's is located. You'll also find the usual lez sex shower shows and girls who display their skills at bottle opening, coin pick-ups, dart shooting, etc. After a few minutes, I found these shows kind of boring.

In my opinion, the girls at Pattpong seem a bit younger than those at Nana or Soi Cowboy, but I preferred the "slower" pace and smaller crowd at Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy.

There are lots of "lady boys" in Thailand and it can be tough to tell if they are a he or a she. I had fears of inadvertently ending up doing a remake of the movie "The Crying Game." I found out that some "lady boys" work in go-go bars. At the King's Club in Pattpong, one of the girls pointed out a dancer who she said was a "lady boy." He/she was pretty. Many of them are transexuals who have gone through the operation so there's no bulge in the groin area so it's kind of hard to tell. Don't get too paranoid about it. For the most part, taking a girl out of the go-go clubs is pretty safe.

Like the previous poster noted, the Thermae Coffee Shop is an afterhour hot spot. Imagine the looks Pamela Anderson would get walking into a sports bar filled with men. Well, this is the same kind of looks that you will get from the many women in the Thermae when you walk in. The Therame is owned by the military/police. You'll see an officer in uniform walking around. The officer keeps the "lady boys" out so there's little chance of picking one up by mistake.

There's a disco in the Nana Hotel that's a good place to pick up freelancers, but watch out for the "lady boys."

If you or the girl are only interested in a short time, there are hotels that have short time rooms if you don't want to use your own hotel room. The Nana Hotel has short time rooms. When I was at Soi Cowboy, the girl took me to a short time hotel. The room cost only 300 baht.

The hustle and bustle of Bangkok with the overwhelming smog can be tough on the senses. I highly recommend the 3-hour journey to Pattaya.

While in Pattaya, I stayed at the Diamond Beach Hotel which is located off the walking street in the middle of the night life.

One thing about using the toilet in many of the go-go clubs, they're co-ed without much privacy. Don't be surprise to see one of the dancers in the bathroom eating her dinner while you take a leak or she might also be taking a leak next to you. Strange, but true. That's one of the reasons that I like staying at the Diamond Beach Hotel. If I have to use the toilet and I want some privacy, my hotel room was within short distance.

In April 2000, I spent a fantastic week at Patong Beach in Phuket. This is a resort town with some awesome nightlife. The hotel rooms are a little bit more expensive than Bangkok and Pattaya. You'll find lots of European families and backpackers here.

It doesn't have as many clubs as Bangkok and Pattaya, but there are enough girls to satisfy your lust. I found the price for short and long time about the same as elsewhere in Thailand. In my opinion, some of prettiest girls that I ever saw in Thailand were in this town. The Hard Rock A Go-Go Club had some real lookers, but they only wanted to do short time. Although I normally like to patronize air conditioned clubs, I found the open air beer gardens have some of the nicest girls with lower bar fines and lower short/long time prices. So low, that you'll probably end up bar fining two girls.

The Sharks Club is a jammed pack fun disco to take your girl. They love to dance.

As the name implies, Patong Beach is a beach town with a real nice beach. The sand is raked clean every morning. For 50 baht, you can rent a lounge chair and sun umbrella for the day and watch the topless sunbathing European women. It kind of reminded me of Miami's south beach. The beach boys do get somewhat annoying as they constantly try to get you to rent their jet skis or para-sail or pimp a girl, but after you laugh them off a few dozen times, they'll leave you alone. The beach boys will watch your stuff if you decide to swim or go jet skiing, so they are useful. Vendors will also come by to sell you drinks, fruits, etc.

This area has some beautiful scenic areas to take a sightseeing tour, scuba dive, or rent a motorcycle (safest place in Thailand to cycle). It helps to go to a place like this and take photographs to share with the folks back home. When you get back home, I found it best not to have only photographs of bar girls. The scenic photos from Phuket help convince your friends and family that you didn't go to Thailand just to monger (a simple way to fool them).

If you're going to fly all the way to Bangkok and/or Pattaya, I highly recommend a side trip (at least once) to Patong Beach / Phuket.

Yujin,
Did you have any problem bringing girls back to the resort hotels in Phuket (if you tried this at all)? If you didn't try this, do you know anything about how the Phuket hotels react if you do bring a "guest" back?
NCsnake

NCsnake,

I never had any problems, but I guess it depends on the hotel you're staying at. In my opinion, the best place to stay is the Orchid Residence. Outstanding location near Soi Bangla with clean, modern, and big rooms. Their website is http://www.orchid-residence.de

Thanks Yujin! I'll try and find info on the Orchid (the link above gives a 404 error).
NCsnake

Orchid link OK. No problem on hi speed link.

Interesting. I also get a 404 error, and I have a high speed connection.

I searched and found this:
http://phuket-orchidresidence.com/

It works for me


SE

Same here SE, both T1 and DSL connections give me the same error:

Not Found

The requested URL /thaibiz/Phuket Thailand Hotels and Resorts The Orchid Residence_files/orchid.css was not found on this server.

so that link is not a good one (looks like a style sheet file with a monster subdirectory name preceeding it). But I also found several good links with searches, and this place looks close to the action in Phuket. Thanks again Yujin.
NCsnake

Hmmm. . . both links work for me and I don't have high speed connection because I'm still using an old 486 computer. You might be having a temporary server problem.

The desk clerk at the Orchid Residence will check the ID card of any girl that you bring over. There's no added "guest" charge.

The Orchid Residence is within easy walking distance of ALL the nightlife action. No need to take a taxi. The Shark Disco is located 1/2 a block away and the girls love going there.

The hotel is small compared to hotels in Bangkok or Pattaya so it fills up fast during the peak season. I'd recommend reserving a room as soon as you know when you're going to be there. If it's full, I know of another hotel across the street that charges about the same price. It's not as nice as the Orchid, but you get what you have to get.

NC,

Try checking out:
http://www.delphi.com/sanuk

I think this might fit your vision of a forum.


StrikeEagle

Hey Yujin, great posts. Headed there March 1 thru the 18th (second time). Visited Phuket last time but stayed in Kata Noi with my "friend". Went late Dec '99 to Mid-Jan '00 last time. Talk about crowded. When I was walking around Patong with my friend, I did see some lookers. Do you recommend going alone and meeting someone or bring her with you from Bangkok? Didn't care much for Pattaya. Did any of your friends object to having their picture taken?

Harry

Hey Yujin,

That freelancer bar site you posted is excellent. I particularly found this section interesting

http://www.freelancerbar.com/The%20Girls/interview.htm

I suspect the feelings express by the girls here are not a whole unlike the feelings held by the girls in TJ