Part one Bogotá
What started as a quick trip through New York to Colombia expanded to a month away from home with a week in New York and a week in the Big Easy, including the last week of the Jazz and heritage festival. I have been to a few Jazzfests before and I highly recommend the experience, but this is not that kind of trip report.
The flight from Johannesburg to New York was 21 hours; from door to door it took over 30. I flew through Dubai on Emirates. I use this airline for most of my international travel and have had great service from them so far. This trip has been in the planning stage for almost a year. I visited Medellin on a whim last year and had a great time, so I wanted to revisit Medellin and see a lot more of the country. I got a great deal on an RCI resort for a week in Bogotá and Bluelight found our accommodations in Cartagena, so Medellin fell by the wayside. This trip would be a week in Bogotá followed by a week in Cartagena. This should be an interesting trip, I thought. The trip had been planned and thankfully largely paid for before the economy went south, and with friends and fellow mongers visiting me in South Africa in August and November, I don’t know if I will travel again outside Africa for a while, so I am going to make the best of this outing. I would be a little more confident if my Spanish lessons had taken, but as things stand I don’t think I could string a sentence together. Bluelight said he had also studied some of the local lingo; hopefully he had done better then me. Luckily Bluelight’s wingman would be joining us in Cartagena, and he speaks Spanish.
My last night in the Big Easy was a little staid as I was flying out the next morning at 6.30 AM to Newark to catch my 4 PM flight to Bogotá. I had already been in New Orleans for a week and had done everything that I had set out too. BTW, to say that New Orleans has fully recovered from Katrina would be a lie, but it is on the road back and only those of us who fell on love with the old city would notice and morn the changes. On my last night I had a burger at Port of Call and then took a walk down Bourbon Street, stopping at Mansion la Bourbon to listen to some old time jazz and have a mint tulip before heading back to the courtyard to pack. I didn’t sleep well and I was pretty blurry eyed when my taxi arrived on time at 4:15 in the morning.
Much to my surprise there was already a queue at the Continental desks, but it moved relatively quickly and I checked my case directly through to Colombia. BTW, if you are checking through on an international flight they waive the checked bag fee. I had an empty seat next to me on the 3 hour flight to Newark so I dozed most of the way. I took the train into Newport and three transfers later I was having lunch with my brother. It was a rush to get back to the airport but I made it with time to spare. The flight took off a few minutes late and although the plane was packed I was once again lucky enough to have an empty seat next to me. I tried to catch 40 winks but the flight was a rollercoaster with bad turbulence most of the way, and I don’t fly well to start with. The flight was just on six hours and we touched down just after 9 PM local time.
Over the wing of the plane as we banked to begin our approach to Bogotá I could see the full moon. In honor of lunatics everywhere this was going to be called the Going Loco Down in Colombia tour.
That was until I heard Bluelight’s definitive grasp of the Spanglish language and hand gestures. The man is a master: speak loud, add an O to most words and an A to the rest, enunciate expressively, and use the appropriate hand gestures. Not only does this create an interesting take on a foreign language but also a floorshow for anyone fortunate enough to be an onlooker. Thus slowly becomes sloooowly-ooo with a series of hand gestures that looks like you are trying to jerk off an elephant.
Bluelight and I had planned on meeting at the Mickey D’s at the airport. His flight was supposed to have arrived before mine. I was a little concerned as we had not touched base since I left South Africa. The arrivals board showed that Bluelight’s plane had arrived about an hour before mine. The lines at passport control where long but moved quickly, there was a lot of concern about swine flu and the entire airport staff was wearing masks. I hurried over to Mickey D’s but when I got there Bluelight was nowhere in site. I thought maybe he had gone to the toilet or for a walk about so I grabbed a burger, my first big Mac in a long time. I had forgotten how bad those things taste. I almost felt the impulse to lick the ass of an Alsatian to get the taste of the Big Mac out of my mouth.
A half an hour later he wandered in. It seems he had had few problems deplaning, and it was after 11 PM when we got to the hotel. Check in went quickly. I was a little disappointed in the room—I was expecting a two-bedroom unit with two bathrooms, a kitchen and a small living area. Instead it was quite small with no kitchen or living area and two rooms en suite: one downstairs with two beds and an upstairs loft. Bluelight took the upstairs. I had a quick 3S and did a little unpacking but both of us were too wasted from hours of flying to do anything. We sat in the room catching up on our adventures and misadventures of the past year, and I fell asleep before midnight.
9th Saturday
Woke about 8 AM. Bluelight was dead to the world and I could hear him snore from his upstairs room. So I caught up with my emails and started this trip report. It was nice to have the internet again. We booked taxi through the hotel for P$100 mil to take us on a city tour. First stop was at the Monserrate, a hill overlooking the town that has restaurants, shops, a monastery and a church at its summit. A bit like a poor version of Rio’s Sugar Loaf it has beautiful and panoramic views of the city. It cost us each 16,000 COP on the cable car for a return ticket. But remember to take a jacket with you because the weather can turn nasty quickly, as it did with us—while we where up there it started to rain an icy cold biting rain.
Bogotá is a city of 10 million people and you really get an idea its size from the top. We took the cable care up and down, and as I am not overly fond of heights it was quite an experience. After Monserrate we headed to the house of Bolivia. Nice, like the home of Ho Chi Min in Hanoi, it’s less interesting in itself and more of a comment on an interesting historical caricature, although Bolivia’s Gardens where very impressive. Then we headed on to the Gold Museum. Words can’t describe this place it’s a well put together museum with some great artifacts. The Gold Museum is unique and you won't find a better place to see the pre-Spanish artwork on gold. The tour finished off at in La Candelaria, the historical neighborhood in Bogotá.
There are a lot of interesting museums and old churches around at La Catedral, Plaza de Bolivar, Palacio de Nariño. There were some cool people milling around and while BL took part in a petition to have the old town cleaned up some of the locals asked me to take their pictures and email them to them
Then back to the hotel where we took an afternoon break before heading to Longanira steak house in Calle 69a for dinner. The location is nice, and a great meal for two including starters, salads, steaks and drinks came to about US$50, not bad value for money. It was still a little early so we took a walk back to the hotel before heading to Casanovas. Bluelight wanted to get this place out of the way as it seemed almost a rite of passage. The location is nice and the place is well set up, but I hated the clutter of touts hanging around outside. The place is hellishly expensive. We sat with two girls each, and didn’t go nuts with the drinks, but the bar bill came to US$270! Both Bluelight and I checked the prices. They were ridiculous—try $40 for a small bottle of rum and $15 for a red bull. We decided to bar fine one girl each, I tipped the other that had sat with me P$50 mil. The bar fine for the girl was $50 each and the Girls settled for P$300 mil each down from a starting asking price of P$450 mil.
I chose Katharine. She was fun at the club; within minutes she was telling me that she loved me with a very serious look on her face. I can believe it, I am a very lovable guy. In fact I was a little hurt that it took her almost have an hour to fall in love with me—maybe I am loosing my touch. In the bar she told me that she was 22 and had only been working the club for two months. When we got to the hotel they checked her ID and so did I. She was born in March 1991, so unless the bar employs under age girls she had been at least half truthful. I can’t say she earned her money but she did everything I asked plus one or two pleasant surprises including a nice long session in the shower.
The girls left at about 7 AM and I woke at about 11. When I awoke, I found that she had cleared the bar out of chocolates. In all fairness I had said she could take one, maybe she misunderstood. I really wouldn’t recommend the place strictly because of the pricing. It’s a rip-off of note and there are better girls to be had at better prices pretty much everywhere. In all fairness we where warned and now so you have been too. The question has to be why we didn’t we simply move on, the answer is we were having fun and since when has the big head ever ruled the little one?
Sunday 10th-Mothers day.
The city is dead, headed out at lunch time, grabbed a bite at a take away near the hotel Steak, salad, boiled potatoes and a drink for P$11 mil. Then to the market near the Gold Museum walked around the local markets did a little shopping then back to the hotel for a nap. All the bars in the area were closed so we headed to the local cinema to catch the new Star Trek, back at the hotel by midnight.
Monday 11th
Woke early I was looking forward to visiting the National Museum before hitting one or two massage spots, but our day started a little late. We went to a fast food chicken place near the hotel. Bluelight has a great sense of direction so we walked over to Chicas Milenion. There was a nice line up of about a dozen girls. We had a hard time understanding the costs and commissions. Then Bluelight broke the first rule that you learn in Mongering 101. He brought out a wad of cash and started flipping P$50 mil notes. The girls literally started squealing with delight. Seriously, I thought I heard a few of the girls having genuine orgasms. I started laughing and pulled him out of the place. We walked across the road to Chicas 2000, there was a smaller selection of ladies but we each found something that we liked. P$70 mil, her name was Erika and although she didn’t speak a word of English we sessioned twice in the hour. Everything cost extra, P$10 mil to kiss and so on, but it still worked out OK price wise.
After the session my stomach started plying up. So I headed with speed back to the hotel. After about an hour or two I was feeling a lot better but I wasn’t up for another steak dinner. On the way to the restaurant the night before we had seen some interesting places along the way so we took a taxi back to the same area and chose a restaurant by sight. It turned out to be a better then fair Italian place, Di Lucca Ca 13 No.85-32. Bluelight was suffering a little from altitude sickness so we called it a night and headed back to the hotel.
Tuesday 12th
Bluelight had arranged a day with his cutie from the day before. She was arriving at about eleven so we headed outside to wait her arrival. As we stood at the entrance the Colombian Army and Police force turned up in two trucks and secured the street . There was something going on in our hotel, some meeting that necessitated all this additional security. Just as we were discussing how no working girl would brave this much law enforcement for a date, BL’s girl turned up right on time. I went to Museo Nacional, Carrera 7 No. 28-66. It is the oldest museum on the continent, built in 1823. It was really interesting but unfortunately no English was spoken. Walked to the south side; the area was pretty run down with touts on almost every corner inviting me up to check out spots.
I gave in after a while. The first spot was dingy and there were only a few girls around. None seemed that interested so I headed out. This scenario played itself out at two more place before I found one that had a girl I liked. She was a little older but cute with a big natural chest and a smile that promised a fun time to come, P$60 mil for an hour. The room was really run down but doable. The girls’ attitude noticeably cooled once we hit the room but I still had a reasonably decent session, no kissing though and a quick very lack luster BBBJ. Took a taxi back to the Museo and walked to Washington Park. Yes there is a George Washington statue in Bogotá, Columbia.
It was already about 4 PM so I took a taxi back to the Hotel. When I arrived Bluelight was sitting outside the hotel with a big smile on his face watching the girls go by. I was tired from all the walking around and needed a break before we headed out to Usaquén, a rather new "cool" section of Bogotá. The main square is the meeting point of the area where you can find pretty nice restaurants and bars. But walk around, and you’ll find more great places to eat and drink. We walked about, and stopped at Dixie’s at Ca 12a No.83-27 for a decent steak dinner. As Bluelight noted, our bills at the better restaurants came to around P$90 mil. We walked to the cinemas and caught the Wolverine flick, pretty good. I was not feeling up to much and after his afternoon delight BL was not really into clubbing so we headed back to the hotel. Are we getting old or was it just the altitude? Fuck yes it’s the altitude…right?
Wednesday 13th
Woke early, but BL was still dead to the world so I went for a walk. I got back to the hotel at about 11 and we headed out search of a laundromat. We found one about 3 blocks from the hotel at under P$30 a load. BL was heading back to Bogotá after Cartagena so he wanted to see the apartment that he would be staying at. On the way we stopped at Hacienda Santa Bárbara, Carrera 7 No. 116 - 05. A 19th century house that belonged to Pepe Sierra, one of the wealthiest Colombians of the time, that became a mall in late 80's. Famous for its cafés (some of them nationally renowned), is not as crowded as other malls. It was cool. We had lunch there, it’s a nice size mall with some interesting shops. After seeing BL’s apartment we walked to some massage places nearby. Very cute girls, P$70 mil for a rub and tuck with a blow, but kind of pricy. We then headed back to the hotel before going for dinner. We walked about for a while before heading to a club near the hotel, cute girls P$30 mil for twenty minutes. Cheap drinks, but way too loud. There was an apartment next door with two sub par girls and it smelled of urine. We didn’t hang around.
Thursday the 14th
Woke early, caught up on some internet and skyped home, today is my last day in Bogotá. We checked our to-do list and it was pretty much done. We thought of heading out of the city but the hotel staff said there was not much to see, so we headed to the upscale shopping area, had lunch at a local chicken place and went mall hopping. Eventually we decided to catch a film before heading back to the hotel. At the hotel we packed and decided on our last night we had to visit A Castillo, Troya and La Piscinand. Following Rio rules (no extra cash, cards or unnecessary flash) we headed out.
(Picture 14)
First stop was A la Piscinand. At first glance I liked the place. There was a girl doing a show on a bridge over an indoor pool. We were early and the girls started coming in. BL asked one of the waiters, not our waiter, one of those really sleazy looking guys, about the rate. He immediately summed us up as two rich gringos with more money then brains and sucked the rate of P$300mil per hour out of his ass! I watched as he ran off to tell the girls about their gringo windfall. The place was a waste of time for us from then on. Even after we asked our waiter, who gave us the rate of $60 mil for 20 min including room, the girls were caught in the lie stuck by the higher prices. We even got the waiter to write down the correct rate, but the girls refused to budge. We tried to call for a manager but the waiter’s ability to speak English or even Spanish suddenly evaporated. There were no great girls in the place so we told then to f* off and walked to La Catillo P$80 mil for 20 min. Too bad so sad, both BL and I were in a bad mood after Piscinand’s, so we were not in the mood to haggle although the waiter made it quite clear that we were supposed to.
We then headed across the street to Las Vegas, the tout at the door spoke fair English which made a nice change, our bad mood paid off and the rates quickly came down to P$120 mil for an hour. There were a few OK girls around with enough action to promise more to come. Then I saw the hottest girl walk into the place, the hottest girl I had seen so far since arriving in Bogotá. I pointed her out to BL and he Boggarted her! I was feeling very depressed but I saw Denise, a real cute girl with braces and a shy smile, and she came on over. She couldn’t speak a word of English but her body language was good. I took an hour with her, she was a little inexperienced but a fun time never the less. After leaving Las Vegas we were warned not to walk further away from the main street so we took a taxi and drove past Troya. Stopped at a late night place for dinner. Most of the town was already closed and I was not going to settle for a big Mac as my last dinner in town so we walk around for a while until we found Espresso Café. It had a nice Hollywood come Nashville vibe with pleasant burgers, good live music. All in all our last night in Bogotá was our best night in Bogotá. Even though BL stole my perfect date!
15th Friday
Last day in Bogotá, I couldn’t really get up to much before my midday flight so I slept in and finished packing. Then I went down to check out. I was unpleasantly surprised to find a Girl charge on hotel bill, P$40 mil per girl. RCI resorts have never charged me a joining fee before.
(Picture 15)
It was a 45 minutes ride to get to the airport and an easy check in, fastest security I have seen in a while. The flight to Cartagena was about an hour and a half.
(Picture 16)
