Recently returned home from a three day, first time mongering visit to Guatemala City, Guatemala, so here's my attempt to put together a semi-detailed trip report. Although I’ve been mongering for quite some time now and don't consider myself a newbie, during this trip I made a few newbie like mistakes that hopefully you'll avoid. Sorry! no pics. Although my phone has a camera, it was utterly useless to me because the international roaming wasn't working like Sprint promised it would, but that’s another topic!

Based on some of the comments and questions I've read on this board and others, I'll start by pointing out some observations and answering a few of the most FAQ's on Guatemala. As usual, YMMV as no ones experience is ever the same.

Observation 1: Is Guatemala City a cheap hobbyist destination?
Yes, compared to hobbying here in the states or other western-Euro countries, Guatemala is quite the bargain, but when compared to other so-called less developed countries, Guat can be a bit pricey. First of all, your money can go fairly quickly if you're not paying attention to every dollar you spend. By dollar, I mean quetzals, the national currency. My first day there, I exchanged $350 to quetzals. @ 7.4 rate, this came out to 2550q and change. I blew through this entire amount in less than 24 hours. Of course the vast majority of it went to alcohol and chicas, but also I ate at half way decent restaurants and took taxis everywhere. Expect to pay around 150q for a good meal and couple of beers and 50q for a taxi. Normally I would do more walking to save on taxi fair but it was raining almost every night. You can also save money by eating at street side food stands rather than restaurants. There are also, yea you guessed it, plenty of U.S. fast food chains. 40q will get you a MacDonald’s combo meal.

Observation 2: Do you have to know Spanish to have a good time?
Any non Spanish speaking gringo can walk into a bar/club and hook up a nice chica with very little communication. Most chicas speak a little English and are well versed in American pop culture. Even though I speak a fair amount of Spanish (completed all three Rosetta Stone levels and four community college courses) I can tell you the fact that I’m not fluent hurt my game. Latin America is about negotiating, greasing palms and out bullshitting the next man. If you can master these skills, I think you can get anything you want. For example, I think that you can negotiate take chica out prices and hours with the bar/club bosses but you definitely have to speak the language or else they'll just see you as another gringo with a spanish-english dictionary in one pocket and a wad full of money in the other.

Observation 3: Are certain hotels chica friendly?
Obviously, I can't speak for all Hotels, but when I tried to bring a chica into the Holiday Inn in zone 10, I was told that my room would be billed and an additional $40 guest fee for the night. WTF is up with that. Other threads I've read said that Holiday inn is guest friendly. Obviously not! So the bottom line is if in doubt, ask before you check in.

Observation 4: Isn't Guat City dangerous?
Guat has its fair share of problems i.e. gangs, drugs, corruption, murders - you name it, Guat has it, but the chances of you running into any of this are very slim. There's a high police presence in and around the city and most major businesses have armed guards. I was walking the streets in Zone 9 at 2am in the morning and didn't get messed with but than again I do have the "big guy" advantage which make me less of a target than for example a small, western women.

Now for the Mongering scene
The mongering scene in Guat is very well hidden. Most of the places are located on desolate streets in Zone 9. You can tell a bar/club because you usually see two or three guys standing outside and can hear music coming from inside. Most places don’t charge cover fees but tend to be pushy when I comes to buying chica drinks. Over all, most of chicas are nice looking, but you're not going to be inundated by Colombia/Brazil looking hotties. They come in all ages and sizes. Prices for chicas average around 650q for an hour. This is about $87. Of course, if you're on a tight budget you can get street chicas probably for half the cost, but be forewarned - many of them are dudes, trannies, drag queens, whatever you want to call them. And if that's your thing, it's all good. There located in Zone 9 calle 11 avenida 5 & 6.

Since my mini-vacation was so short, I only got the chance to visit 6 places.

Club Elite
Well I read all the posts saying that this place is a big rip-off joint and not worth visiting, but me being the curios cat that I am (and sometimes the dumb ass), decided to venture in. Yep, pretty much everyone is correct, this place is highway robbery. First of all as soon as you walk in, you're greeted by a nice chica and a 200q cover. Now at this point, most smart hobbiest would have said no thanks and left, but I wanted to see what kind of place warrants a $25 cover. Besides the one beer that comes with the cover, the place is full of nice looking chicas, fancy night club furniture, large stage and bar and an upstairs VIP area. After I got through admiring my yo-MTV-cribs like surroundings, I was ushered to a leather couch in the corner of the stage and given my beer. Five minutes later, the waiter brings me two young hotties to keep me company, one from Honduras and the other from El Salvador. Very pretty girls (way out of my league here in the states). So we were sitting on the couch conversing, me with my broken Spanish and them with there broken English. Then miss Honduras ask me if I wanted to take her and her friend upstairs to the VIP lounge. I asked how much. She says 4000q for both girls for an hour. WTF!! Here I am in a country where the median household income is 38000q per year, where indigenous people live in wooden huts, where the majority of the population don't have hot water or heating, where people squeeze into smog filled buses like fuckin cattle because most don't own cars, and these jack asses are charging Las Vegas strip bar prices. Am I missing something here? Needless to say, I respectfully declined and marched my ass out of there. Not a good first impression of Guat, but things were about to change.

Caprichos
After my discus with Elite, I made my way to Caprichos. Again, another decent size establishment with lots of Chicas. This place has many flavors, from black to white, fat to skinny and old to young. For the most part the chicas ranged in looks from 4 to 7. I walked in and headed over to a table where two chicas were sitting - One was from Honduras and the other from Guat. Both were decent looking, but the Honduran was the better looking of the two (others have stated that Honduran women are typically the most attractive in Central America and I find this to be accurate - at least in Guatemala). Anyways, I bought a round of drinks and we chatted. One of them made me an offer to go with her upstairs in the private area @ 650q but I declined as I wanted to wait and scope the place out for a while. Eventually they left the table so I decided to just kick back and drink as there was nothing in the place that blew me away and the night was still young. After a few more drinks and a serious buzz starting to come over me, I decided to leave. Chica drinks and mine came out to 400q and that was my wake-up call to watch out for the chica drinks. For those who haven’t figured it out yet, the game in Guatemala (or any liquor serving titty bar for that matter) is to keep the gringo buying lady drinks for as long as possible. Hell, you may be even paying for chica water. One tip I read (of course after I returned home from my trip) is to ask the chica for a taste of whatever you buy her. If she says no, you’re probably being fucked in the ass by weasel bartenders. As far as Caprichos is concerned, I think this is a good final night, "I want to bust a nut before I go home" type of place but not a good place to start your adventures, especially if you're looking for good quality.

Club Platinum
Walked into Platinum and was impressed with the decor. Spacey but not huge. Door guy walks me to a table and I order a beer. Sat down close to the stage and got a few winks from the dancer. Looked across the room and there she was, Deanna. This girl was fine as hell. She had mixed features. Here in the states I would presume half black and half white but from Central America, it could be a mixture of anything, but I didn't care. She had a flat stomach, thick ass and perfect natural tits. Her skin was golden brown and smooth as a baby’s ass. If I could compare her to a well known person, I would say Beyonce. I called over the waiter and told him "I want her." "you like my friend, you like, no problem, she's yours" For that one moment I felt like a fuckin rock star or athlete. The ego booster shot up 10 fold. So the waiter brings me to her and we go to the private couches in the back. She is from Panama and works in Guat twice a year, three months rotation. I didn't want to waist time bullshitting with this girl, so I asked (demanded) "go get dressed; your ass is coming back to my hotel with me". Although I was just kidding with her, she kind of liked the macho act (as most Latin women do). She called over the waiter and they started talking 100mph Spanish. Afterwards the waiter asked me if I was interested in take out. I said “claro que si” or in gringo terms, fuck yea. So we started negotiating take out price. We spoke in US dollars. He started with $350 for two hours. I don't think so, I paid $225 for an all nighter in San Salvador last year so I'm somewhat familiar with the market out here. I countered with $200 for three hours knowing that he would tell me to go fuck myself. He came back with $275 for three hours and that’s the best he could do. I accepted the offer. I know some of you penny pinchers are thinking that’s too much, but you're not going to get good quality in Guat for less than this. Here in the states, this girl could easily command $400+ an hour as an on-line provider so I knew I got a deal. So we were served our drinks, she went in back to get dressed (those jeans on her were rockin) and we headed back to my hotel room. Got back to the hotel and this is when the prick working at the hotel reception desk started giving me shit. Excuse me sir, no guest allowed. I told him that this was a friend visiting me but he wasn't buying it. He said that he will charge my room an extra $40 dollars for the night. Whatever asshole! Can we go now! (mumbling to myself of course) He said that he needed to check her ID and log her in to the guest book. So up we go to my room. I was pissed but just let it go because I knew in about 10 minutes I would be fucking one of the finest pieces of pussy I pulled in a long time. As soon as we get to my room we got started. She takes off her clothe and starts with a BBBJ, then she covers me up and gets in doggie position. I commenced to pounding that ass like no tomorrow. After I shot my first load, we kicked back and talked a bit. About and hour later, we started round two. She got on top and rode like the wind. This time it took me much longer to cum thanks to the blue pill and alcohol (I know, you're not supposed to mix. whatever!!). Anyhow after I blew my second nut, I was spent. It was about two and half hours into the party and I told her she could go. She gave me her cell number and jetted. So the bottom line is that I didn't really spend a whole lot of time in Platinum so I can't really speak to it much, but I would go back if not for the simple reason is to hook up with Deanna again.

Club Paradise
Walked into this relatively small bar/club not knowing what to expect. immediately noticed two chicas sitting on the couch so I walked over and sat with them. Older chicas (30 +) OK in looks, nothing to write home about, but they had friendly personalities and at this point I just wanted to relax and enjoy a beer. We talked for a bit and a third chica came and joined us. This one was much younger and a little bit on the wild side, in terms of personality. They were all Guatemalans. One of them made the suggestion that I buy a bottle of tequila and we all go into a private room and drink. Ok, at this point I’m thinking, yea right! this will be one of those $100 bottles. I told them I would think about it. One of the chicas left and returned with the waiter. He offered me one hour in private room with three chicas and a bottle of tequila (some Mexican brand) 1500q (around $200) I countered with hour and a half, no disturbances, and no limitations with the chicas. He agreed. So off we go into this private room with large bed, table and cheap stereo. Immediately, the chicas turned on the stereo and started taking shots. These women drink like fishes. I took a couple of shots but tried not to get carried away. Next thing you know, the chicas started stripping, then they laid me down on the bed, took off my shoes and pulled down my pants and started jerking me off. Next, one of the chicas covered me up, hopped on top, put me inside of her and started ridding like crazy while at the same time the other two had their tits rubbing on my face. Then the one on top got off and another got on. I didn't know who was who, all I know is that my finger was inside two of them and another was riding me and they all took turns. then I grabbed the younger one, put her in doggie position and tapped that ass for a while. Then I traded off for the next one. (I’m no stud, I just took my blue pill before I left the hotel room). After about 40 minutes of action with all three chicas I blew my load in the younger one. Afterwards we all just kicked back on the bed and I let these alcoholic hoochies finish off the bottle. In Spanish this was "un bien experienca". All and all, this was a good experience. While the quality at this place isn't that great, the attitude and personalities make up for it.

Name ?? (One of the small clubs on Calle 12, Avenida 2)
This seemed to be one of those "Locals only" places. Three scrubby looking guys at the bar, a lone guy next the stage, and three chicas - one dancing on stage and the other two chatting in the corner. I came very close to just walking out, but I figured, I’ll do the good tourist thing and buy a couple of beers, support local businesses and all that crap. After about 15 minutes, and me getting ready to jet, the one that was dancing, got off stage, went in the back to get dressed, came back out and walked up to me.
Coincidentally, she was the best looking one in the bar - real nice body. She wanted me to join her in the back row of seats, so I accepted her offer. Sweet chica from Guat. She gave me a lap dance and wanted me to go with her to the private room. I asked how much and she said Q600 ($85). So I accepted and off we go. Went in the room and bartender knocked on the door. Chica opened the door and bartender hands her a beer and a towel. She said this was for me. Cool - better service than U.S hotels. So she closes the door and starts striping then she grabs and pull down my pants and starts jerking me off. Next BBBJ and CFS in every position imaginable. Afterwards, we kick it in the room for a few minutes and clean ourselves up. She escorts me back to the seating area and asks me to buy here a drink. I guess, just one!. After she gets her drink, I get ready to take off and she begs me to stay with her. She said that she will go with me to my Hotel.
Sorry sweetheart! I got some more mongering to do. She gave me her number and I left.
This is one of those typical back alley local bars that you have to be fairly comfortable with. A dark environment and absolutely no English spoken.

The infamous Club Le Club.
As stated by others, this club is off the charts as far as chicas and looks. At least 20 chicas and all nice looking. Very crowded with locals and gringos. Weird being in a Central America establishment and hearing so much English. (personally I like to be the only gringo around - I get more attention). Anyways I took a seat and ordered a couple of beers. Immediately, two chicas sat next to me. One from El Salvador and the other from Mexico. As usual, they wanted me to buy them drinks. I offered them a beer, but no expensive drinks. they both accepted. We chatted for a while but I didn’t inquire about private room pricing. Based on my research, private rooms in this place will set you back around 750q. Anyways I really didn't feel like doing a chica in this place, I wanted some take out action but obtaining this proved to be an impossible feat. The chicas are well trained and insisted that you stay in the club. I tried to convince the El Salvadorian that we could have a nice quiet multi-hour session in my room and that she could earn a little pocket change on the side. She liked the idea but insisted that she could not leave until 6:00am. I didn't push the issue. Eventually both girls left my table so I and started talking to this blond chick or as I call them white-latina. She was cool and didn’t bother me too much for drinks. We just chatted for a while and she eventually left. I just sat at my table and watched the strippers on stage. For some reason, the alcohol, the lack of sleep from the previous nights and the previous fucking was started to ware on me. It was about 3:00am in the morning and I was getting really tired. So I decided to leave and call it quits for my mongering vacation.

So would I go back to Guat anytime soon? Probably not for a while. Would I recommend Guat to fellow hobbiest? Yes, as long as you keep your expectations low and are prepared to drop a good amount of $$. What I don’t particularly like about Guat is the lack of GFE. The girls I was with were cool, but I felt like I was paying for pretend porn sex with well trained actresses. Nothing that made me think, “Damn! If this chick wasn’t a whore, I wouldn’t mind being with her!”

Thorough, well-written and interesting info on a place that is hardly ever covered. Thanks for taking the effort to put it together.

Compared to a place like Colombia, Guatemala doesn't sound like it's worth the trouble though.

Great report. I'm surprised by the price of ass there at $87usd but I'm sure you went to the more mid-higher range places. For less than $87usd, gfe is pretty easily obtained in TJ.

(Message edited by socrates69 on July 31, 2009)

Loved Guat City but the prices are outrageous. In Tijuana, you can get girls even hotter and for a lot less money. I did enjoy the variety of looks of the chicas and especially the availability of black chicas. You missed a lot of the smaller clubs that are considerably cheaper but it sounds like you like to negotiate in US dollars and are made a mark by the scammers as you started negotiating when drunk and horny.

Thanks for the report, Rj! It's a very nice addition to the little available here.

Nice report enjoyed reading about a country not visited by the masses. I was surprised at how expensive it is there. I would have thought it would have been cheaper.

Thanks for the report. I have often wondered about Guatemala. It is amazing that they get away with these prices in such a dirt poor country. I am thinking they are charging you the Gringo price and it is all negotiable, just as in Mexico and other places. You just make them a counter offer and go from there. Haggling is part of the Latin American culture.

After many trips throughout Mexico in the past 7 or 8 years, I have determined that the best way to find GFE's are through repeat visits to an area. I assume that this would apply no matter where you travel in the world.

This is my current situation in Hermosillo, Sonora. I have friends in the local area that often provide me with tips and introduce me to new girls. I now have regular "girlfriends" that I call when I visit. I have a little black book that is pretty full of numbers.

A few years ago I frequented the TD clubs and MP's there. Now, I don't need them to find pussy.

I usually give these girls an average of about $50 USD and often bring them gifts from America. They are always appreciative and usually spend the night with me, go out to dinner, breakfast, whatever.
They sometimes go to the beach with me.

None of these girls speak any English. At least a working knowledge of Spanish (which I have) is necessary.