Costa Rica – “do you speak English?” Trip report:
October – 2009
Greetings fellow hombres, Smuckin here! Wake up, off your ass and on your feet, as my best friends dad use to yell at us as the nights ran on and on! I have probably logged a dozen trips to Costa Rica since my last trip report. The reason for no trip reports is simple, they’ve been quick trips with nothing new to add or encountered, the fact I have had a regular novia for a little over a year adds to the monotony. This trip was different, and I made some observations, so I figured a small trip report was in order.

10-29-09
Left worked @ 4pm , straight from my office to Miami international. American Airlines has a 7:40pm flight direct to san jose from Miami daily , so all you south Florida guys , this is your flight, I noticed lots of tanked up fellow mongers on the flight, some whom I later observed at the blue marlin. I use to hate MIA with a passion and swore it off like the plague, but even with construction and expansion , the airport didn’t live up to its reputation this time , everything went really smooth. I even got treated nicely by the Gestapo, I mean TSA.
Landed , immigration really smooth , met family outside and headed for the hills.

10-30-09
Got a ride into san jose at noon, the hotel presidente was my spot to stay. Plopped down at the hotel bar and awaited my friend to get in from Miami and meet me. Met up with my friend shortly after, we started slamming some imperials, then checked into the rooms. Being my friends 1st time ever in costa rica , our first stop was the delray , specifically the blue marlin bar. I always love taking 1st timers in and watching there jaws clean the floor off, then I had to emphasize anything he saw at the delray was fair game for poaching. This fact totally blew my friends mind, he was hooked, took his 1st hit of mongering and he was an addict in the making. The main plan was to not get take out at the delray , but to move over to a message parlor type place for our 1st chica of the weekend , I told him about zona blue and new fantasy. Well about 10 coronas in at the blue marlin, I almost broke, two ticas with the most banging bodies, just all over me, it took sheer will power not to pull the trigger. The talent for a Friday afternoon was surprisingly well. One thing is prepare to be barraged if you sit at the bar; these ladies are hunting and will attack. My friend found a good idea to get rid of them. He told them he only wanted there ass, as most chicas aren’t down for this in costa rica , I was surprised how well his tatic worked. Myself, I simply told them my dick didn’t work till night time and I was drinking now, most laughed and moved on. I grabbed my friend and headed for zona blue , I had heard this place went down hill and new fantasy was better , it had been awhile since I got to explore the bad places , since I had a novia for over a year now down there, pathetic isn’t it. In my drunken stupor, I overshot zona blue by a few blocks and realized when I got to the bottom of the hill , I had gone too far west and downhill. Well I saw the holiday inn and regained my bearings. Upon entering zona blue , I asked the front desk what the rate was since I hadn’t been there in a few years , I told her $50.00, as to let her know I am not fresh off the gringo boat , she said no , $55.00 , ok whatever. My friend and I walk in and low and behold , this place has been remodeled , the old area which was super small , now has a pool table in it , then there is stairs and a whole new wing , with a huge bar and more seating. This place truly looks great. The nasty asian cunt gremlin bar tender is still there though. She didn’t remember me, thank god! So me and my friend get some more beers and survey the scene. Overall I was impressed with the lineup there on a Friday night, having heard many stories about it having a bunch of cows, I was just impressed. My friend saw a young tica he had an eye for, well he motions her over and he falls in love. Meanwhile I zero in on a small girl, so me being the way I am, go over and sit on the wall next to her where usually only the girls sit. I test the water and see how well she responds. This girl passed the test and was being chill so I told her, let me finish my beer and where off to the room. I was in room #5, an interior room, wow have the rooms changed. The shower is bigger and had like a seat in it, with a big sign, only for 1 person, you break it, you buy it. Ok……and the room was double the size and had a clothing rack and a queen bed now, not the little twin they use to have. I didn’t have my camera, yeah go figure, but I will try to describe the angel who brought me out of monogamy. She was 22 , dark hair to her shoulders , porcelain white skin , awesome legs , 5’1’’ , a bubbly but firm ass you could bounce a quarter off. Well I take a shower since I was sweating beer all day, then I lie down and get a really good massage, needed it, wow this girl was good at that too. Then she proceeded to a BBBJ without request and damn she was good, every few minutes she would pop up and make sure I was happy. Then later I threw a condom on and she rode me home for about 10min until I couldn’t take it. I think she would have been willing to go bbfs , she was almost intrigued when I pulled out a condom. But she put it on me and rode away. I don’t know what the deal is, but im not against BBFS with a girl down there; just not the 1st time, and not a working girl, there are exceptions, but not this night. That’s a whole other debate. Had some time left so after just had some pillow talk and relaxed. Got dressed, bought her and I a few coronas and waited for my friend to surface, he had gone to a room after me. 20min pass , he comes out with that “I just got fucked senseless” look , he starts telling me her got his girls number , and tomorrow she is going to the volcano with us …..yada yada yada ….. I kept quiet, I knew the chance of her showing up was remote, but I left the dream alive for my friend. We walked over to Chelles, my favorite drunk diner at the corner of ave central / calle 9 , had a sandwich and went back to the hotel . At about 9:00 I called the girlfriend and told her I had got in town. She said she would meet me at the presidente in 10 minutes. Met the novia , headed up to the room , she was really impressed with me being so drunk I forgot what room I was in . (side note: for years my room was always #701 , because it had a balcony and was a standard room , sadly during remodeling its now a premium room and balcony is gone.) I finally find my room about trying my key in 5 different doors on the 2nd floor. She is like “wow your drunk mike” what time did you get into san jose , I lied and said 4pm and that I had to take my friend out for awhile and we accidently drank alittle……sure whatever bitch im thinking . Well even though I put out at zona blue an hour ago, I had to man up and bang the girlfriend like I hadn’t had any in weeks. So I manned up and went at it for a few hours, and didn’t go back out that night. I wonder when she was sucking if she tasted the other girls spit, I forgot to take a shower, well maybe I didn’t even care.
(side note: my friend was suppose to have a girl he knew from Nicaragua meet him in san jose for the weekend , he did this before he talked to me , well its like bringing sand to the beach , but I relented and told him it could be couples weekend , and I called my regular up and let her know what was up , a week before the trip , they had a falling out , I was still locked in and the gulch is a small place to hide when someone knows your in town , so I spent the weekend with the novia.)
I called my friend @ 11pm , he said the girl from zona blue was enroute and would be there at midnight, suited me fine , I was tired and didn’t wan’t to go out that night.
10-31-09
Wake up early for 8am pickup for tour bus , going to arenal , I’ve been there many times , but it worked for me , I got to be a tourist , take novia on a one day vacation , let my friend see a big part of costa rica and experience the tabacoon hot springs. We get downstairs , and I meet my friend , but I don’t see the girl with him , big surprise , to me , I saw that a mile away , he is pissed , but oh well he manages to get a credit for her seat for his next costa visit , we leave and head for arenal. Great day , the weather didn’t work with us too well though, overcast , we never got to see whole volcano , oh well. The hot springs were great , the dinner buffet there is 1st class also. Only thing I really hate about the tabacoon and I shouldn’t get mad about and should have expected. The pool bar drink prices were crazy! I got a pina coloda with an extra shot of rum for novia , a mixed drink for my friend and a draft imperial for me , total bill was $35.00, ouch! Am I in south beach???? Oh well , what pissed me off though , was the drinks were weak. Just a word of warning , smuggle a cooler in or get loaded in route , because its expensive to drink at the hot springs , but it still was an awesome day. Left tabacoon and headed back to san jose , it was a moonless night, lights out, and everyone was asleep or resting on the tour bus. Novia , kept trying to grap little Smuckin through my pants , so I finally called her bluff and just whipped it out, we were on the back on the bus , so I got a nice 30min BJ through the costa rica northen plains en-route to san jose. We had a group of 4 dikes sitting two rows in front of us , one of them looked back at me at one point and I bet could tell what was up , It was pretty erotic , getting sucked off next to all those people , a new experience for me “Head on the tour bus” Got dropped off at 9:30 and got cleaned up. Headed to the key largo about 11pm . I had totally forgotten it was Halloween , and I had never been in costa rica during Halloween , wow they really get into it. What a night to remember. As soon as we enter the key largo , all the chicas are in costume ; witches,nurses,princesses,devils,animals! Most costumes were awesome and amazingly sexy, a few were repulsive. I was shocked by all the mongers who dressed up for Halloween , I saw a lot of guys as ; pirates,doctors,zorro,cops! I figured a few of the doctors and cops had there real work clothes on , how funny! I ran into a few guys who said there down every Halloween , I could see why. So I am getting my drink on at the bar directly across from the stage , there with novia and my friend. All of the sudden this group of 3 guys tries crowding my corner when novia and friend are in the bathroom. I let the guy know these other seats are taken , he says ok , but just keeps pushing over at me, my friend and novia return . ok so douche bag keeps it up with his biker wanna be bandana and “san jose costa rica choppers” shirt , ha ha I’ve never seen a real chopper in costa rica. So instead of starting something, I stand up and just start letting my booze flow and yelling right behind him “ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH” “ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH TO THE TITTY BAR” a phrase we use at home sometimes put tiki in for titty. Ha ha , so douche bag sees me wasted and getting cranked up and gives me some space finally. Well a few minutes later , I see douche bag, which to be fair , wasn’t that bad ,but hey he needs name for this trip report with this hot blonde girl , in a pilots costume. She is all around him and his friends , and oh my is she is looking hot , just a girl I can’t stop staring at , she just has me locked in. So I go over and tell her in Spanish “I hope your flying my plane tomorrow, I hope I get a tour of the cockpit” ok yea cheesy , but whatever , I say this twice and get no response from the girl, next thing one of douche bags friends says “speak English” so I repeated what I said in English , I am thinking this guy wants to know I am not talking shit in Spanish , sort of odd. Well being Halloween, a lot of good music is on tonight, thriller my absolute favorite song is blasting and I am just breaking it down. After that song , ms.pilot comes over to me and grabs my hand , and says “lets dance” you don’t have to ask me twice , she did this right in front of the novia . Off we go to the dance floor and start getting it going. Ms.pilot is having fun and as I get my hand closer and go for her ass , she sorta shys away , like she doesn’t wan’t me getting too intimate. This is not making sense, doesn’t a working girl wan’t me to sample the goods and potentially want to take her home. So I relent and just dance and keep it somewhat toned down ,grinding , but avoiding full contact. After the 1st song , as where getting into song #2 , I ask her in Spanish where she is from. No response , I ask again , and she says to me in English ….”do you speak English?” to that I reply “yes I am American , but don’t you prefer Espanol” she then says “no speak English” , ok so then I ask her where she is from “Vancouver” , what? Vancouver BC Canada. Damn what a curve ball! So we finish the dance , I tell her thanks and we both return to the bar area. Wow WTF , did she know she was in a working girl bar? How random , were her friends(douche bag and company) oblivious to that fact too, just think they go home and tell their friends about how every bar is in costa rica. I get back and some tall bland looking guy was holding her purse, obviously her boyfriend , he gives me a nice look. Damn it , get off your ass dude and dance with your girlfriend! What a square! Pilot girl and me eye fucked across the room the rest of the night , damn I need to visit Canada one day. Closed down the key largo , headed over to a lightly crowed delray. There my friend was searching for a girl for the night , pickings were getting slim at almost 4am. Finally I can’t find him in the whole place , he took off with a girl towards the presidente , novia and myself yell down the street and catch up. Damn nice young looking thing my friend had. So I need food , so I stop in chelles 24/7 restaurant of the corner between the presidente and delray. Damn service was more horrible then usual, 5 minutes into sitting down , I see my friend come in , oh shit WTF is going on. “mike , they won’t let her in” So I give him my room key , and my novia tells my friend he can barrow on of her jackets. My friend comes back 15 minutes later pissed off , they still won’t let her in , she left , its f**king Halloween , and I even offered the guy 10,000 colones ($18-19 USD), he gives me my key and storms off. I almost walk out of my check at chelles , damn fat bitch took forever to get my check as I am passing out drunk. Got back to room and told novia , im going straight to sleep and not to bug me. 1st time in many years that happened. Guess the tour and excessive drinking caught up.

11-1-09
Woke up and felt ok thanks to the food. Pounded a few rounds out and went to breakfast. The presidente breakfast is getting worse by the trip. After breakfast , sat at the bar and had an ice water , wow I know , in the entry to the presidente I see my friend and two hot girls , damn son. So I see my friend cross the street with the girls into the clothing store next to the balmoral entrance. So I tell novia to chill , ill be right back. I walk in , and it’s the girl he banged at zona blue Friday night who stood him up , and her good friend , the one I tagged. FUCK!!! The one I had Friday is looking hot , and she said she came to see me , all this going on as I am getting the evil eye from across the street. I did the right thing and gave the girl a hug , got a phone number and told my friend to have fun and meet me for our ride to the airport in 2 hours. Walked novia home to the village, long walk , halfway to aujelita , safe during the day though ,not at night, but its amazing within a dozen blocks south , things go downhill quickly. I love it when I enter her house , it’s a studio , with communal kitchen and bathroom in the middle of a bunch of studios. All the little kids and fellow residents stare at me , almost like I am from mars. There always nice , but I guess not many gringos venture that far often. Walk back , check out , hop in a taxi towards the airport. Another one in the books……

After Action Report:
This was a really fun trip , going with a new friend was neat way to solidify a friendship! Doing more then 1 girl the whole trip brought me back!
I AM BACK BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE TRIPS TO COME WITH TONS OF NEW GIRLS , I FOUND MY MOJO AGAIN! SICK OF ONE GIRL , NEED TO RUN FREE!!!!!!!

Oh yea , saw hugo boss outside the delray , “dark long hair , guy in a suit” nice guy , I always try to help him out, he speaks somewhat passable English too if you don’t speak Spanish.

Trip/Costa Rica current observations:

Pros: less crowded due to recession, girl quality seems a little higher now then before.
Cons: Greedy costa Ricans , trying to get non-recession prices on everything still.

Hotel Presidente – Continues to neglect and shun the mongers who help build it up like red headed step children , the dress code thing is ridiculous , especially being a prick on Halloween night at 4:30am to my friend, the girl had a costume on. The room rate is not longer worth the price , $71.00 + taxes per night on a standard. 3 years ago it was $51.00 , prices haven’t gotten that out of hand. Website list price is $99.00. Novia took a mini wine from the mini bar, in store , $2.00 , got nailed for $15.00 on it , a bit excessive, I know that have to make money , but damn! Lots of the original staff have moved on also , the new batch could give a shit , I doubt they would piss on you if you were on fire. The breakfast buffer is just gone to hell in a hand basket compared to what it once was. I use to pimp for the presidente because I loved the place so much, but damn it sucks compared to what it once was. Would I stay there again , maybe , it really comes down to what the occasion is and if I can get anyplace else better at same rates , I have never had to look until now.

See ya

Smuckin

Interesting & detailed report Smuckin, thanks for posting. Head on a tour bus?! Well done!

How much are the Jr. suites are? I remember paying about $79 with CRT discount

I havent been there in years but was thinking of going down for a 4 day trip sometime this month. Didnt really want to stay at the DelRay with the bullshit guest charges every time you take a girl up. I didnt care for the presidentes no dulpa policy and now after reading your trip report i dont think i will stay there at all. Whats the place right beside the Del Ray? Its got a small casino also.. Cant think of the name..