We woke up at around 11am and asked for our breakfast to be prepared. While Jonesie was making himself pretty, I was introduced to another traveler renting a room at the casa, a guy from New Zealand looking to backpack around Cuba. He was a cool enough guy and he asked if he could tag along with us for the day. Why not?

We headed to Obispo street in Centro Havana and walked down it until we got to San Fernando Plaza. With the clock ticking we decided to try to catch that matinee finally. We went home to change for a minute and Jonesie called the PMM hotline, which said that the matinee to be at was at Macumbo, a disco in Siboney, pretty far away from where we were. A cab agreed to take us there for 15 CUC. We got to the disco at around 4:30pm and well, it was closed. A worker let us know that they would open at around 5:30 or 6pm. Since there is absolutely nothing to do in that area, we decided to try Café Cantante’s matinee which for sure started at 4pm.

The cabbie agreed to take us back to Cantante for a reduced rate, and when we got there we saw 5 obviously working girls loitering outside… definitely our kind of party. We paid our 5 CUC cover and entered the club to find it a little bit darker than usual… and there was rock music playing… and there were a lot of guys with long hair… we went to a Cuban headbanger’s matinee… This was definitely NOT our kind of party, there weren’t any working girls inside, only tourists and Cuban headbangers, and we figured that out kind of quick. After about 10 minutes inside we decided to cut bait and try another club.

We hailed a cab and headed over to Café de Musica Miramar. Instead of paying our way in we asked to just see what was going on inside first, and the place was pretty dead. Hardly any chicks working at all; the talent just wasn’t there. At this point it was nearly 6pm and we could have headed back to Macumbo, but Jonesie had some cigar business to tend to and the backpacker had to meet some Cuban acquaintance of his at 7pm.

I decided against trekking out all the way back to Siboney solo, and decided to rest up for the grand finale tonight instead.

We returned to our casa and sat around bullshitting on the porch for awhile, when the backpacker got a call saying his evening plans were cancelled; he wanted to join us at the disco tonight. We went to dinner at El Ajibe and headed over to Salon Rojo at around 11pm. PMM was promoting the event at Salon Rojo, and Eddy K was headlining the show, so the cover was 20 CUC. On our way in I saw a hot spinner and started to talk to her. I was thinking I’d pull her without even paying the entry, but she didn’t seem that interested in pairing up without first entering the club. Her loss. Jonesie later told me that many chicks won't give you the time of day before the entry is paid in fear of the police, but we were inside the club already waiting on line to pay, so who knows...

As we walked into Salon Rojo we were bombarded by chicas. One girl approached me and asked me in perfect English if I wanted company. I said sure. She asked if she could sit with me and have a conversation and I said no. Why not, she asked. I told her that she spoke way too much English to be hanging out with me, and she frowned and said she could speak only Spanish if I wanted. Gotta love La Mecanica. We got a bottle so that we could get a table, and the girls started their assault on our table. Any girl that wanted to sit, hang out or drink was invited for the price of a few kisses, and I interviewed a lot of girls this way.

Jonesie paired up almost as soon as he got to the club. He found the girl that he had called over yesterday that never showed, and paired up with her. I told her he shouldn’t be fucking with girls in his phone when he’s paying a 20 CUC cover to enter a club, but Jonesie was a man on a mission. My mission for tonight was to find a girl willing to fuck me once, then switch and fuck Jonesie while I fucked Jonesie’s girl.

Surprisingly I got several girls to agree to this deal, but Jonesie’s girl wouldn’t agree to it and he wouldn’t swap her out for a more agreeable chick, boo.

I finally settled on a cute mulatta with a great body and ass dimples. We left shortly after Eddy K came on and that’s when the real madness began. We headed back to our house and when we got in everything seemed normal. I took my girl back to my room and she asked for the money up front. I agreed to give her the money up front if she gave me her phone to hold until the end of the session. A Cuban cell phone/sim card is worth around 200 CUC, so having her phone is just as good as having the cash in hand. She agreed and we made the exchange.

We fooled around for a bit, hit the shower, then got in bed. While she was blowing me, there was a knock on my door. Was Jonesie really ALREADY done? I was kind of pissed, and I yelled out JONESIE COME ON. There was another knock on my door. “What,” I said, and the old guy who owned the house said “Open the door, I need to talk to you.” I was like “Uh, its 2am and I’m trying to sleep, leave me alone please.” 5 minutes later, he knocked on the door again; “I need to give you a letter to mail for me.” “Okay, leave it on the table, I’ll take it. Please go away.” At this point he kept trying to open the door, but it was locked. “Go away, please,” I repeated.

The girl was freaking out and I was not happy by this turn of events, but we soldiered through and about 20 minutes later I nutted for the first time. I told the girl to hang out in the bathroom for a min while I checked out what was going on in the hall. She stood in the bathroom and I opened the door to find the old man leaning against my door, drooling, seemingly listening in on me… Are you kidding me? I asked him what the hell he was doing and he said he needed to talk to me. I told him to just go away and leave me alone. He asked me why Jonesie was mad at him and I told him to just leave, please. He started waddling away and I closed and locked my door.

My girl asked me what the fuck was going on and I tried to explain to her that the homeowners were fucking nuts… We hung out in bed for a bit waiting for me to get my second wind, and as we started fooling around I heard Jonesie screaming at the old man. Apparently the old man had walked in on Jonesie’s girl taking a shower… I couldn’t deal with this shit anymore… Nothing kills an erection faster than a creepy old man trying to open your door while you’re fucking then leaning on your door and listening in on the action… I told the girl I’d pay her the full amount, but I wasn’t going to go a second time. I walked her out and hung out with her waiting for her cab for a few minutes.

Photos: Jolie - Salon Rojo 06 07 08

I headed back in the house to find the old man in my room going through my shit. He was holding my Gilette Fusion razor and just turning it on and off looking fascinated with himself. I asked him what the hell he was doing in my room and he said he was looking for me. I asked him if he thought I was hiding out in my razor and he just sort of gave me this stupid grin. I told him to get OUT of my room and he started waddling out… I’d had enough, I told Jonesie that I was done with this house; we had to just leave, fuck the few hours of sleep before the airport, so we left and headed over to the 24 hour café in the Habana Libre Hotel for a few hours before catching a cab to the airport.

If mongering is a fraternity, then this was definitely hell week.

Bizarre!

Every time I get to the point of planning a trip to Cuba, another report like this comes in. In the day I loved Cuba, but the bullshit factor is so staggeringly high now that I can't convince myself to go.

Thanks for the report. Good intel.

Bwana, It's still a great place to monger. But we got hit by everything but the locusts on this trip. For every trip with a snag, I have several without. Buy yeah... All the shit that happened sucked...

Looks like you went all the way to Cuba to bang white chicks. Easy to see your preference.

I don't discriminate Blazers, check out some of my other reports. There weren't any particularly attractive black Cuban women on this trip, in my opinion anyway.

That is some funny shit. You sure you guys weren't on Candid Camera or maybe the twilight zone ?

Infanticide,

Over 8 years of mongering on the island I ran into the same casa problems you have stated. Same BS from the city girls etc...

Cuba is not for the guy who expects everything to go right.

I have learned that the older the casa owner is, the bigger the assholes they are male or female.

The older women do bait and switch all the time. Acting like everything is cool to get you to stay at there place then hit you up for advance rent payment due to some bill or another they have to pay. Once they get your money the real rules they want to impose come out. Try to leave and they say they spent your money.

I once met a guy who an older woman did this to. She 1st said chicas were ok but after the 1st day she hit him up for the 2 weeks in advance and he gave it to her then she said no chicas were allowed. Messed up his whole two weeks vacation. I asked him her name and she was the same woman I had stayed with before that had tried to get money up front. Every time she asked I told her I would not pay up front but would agree to pay after every day. After two days she asked me to leave, which she didn't know I was going to do anyway because the house I had actually wanted to stay had become freed up. Hers was only a back up place.

I have about 20 more stories like this I could relate but you get the picture. It really is hard on a monger at times if you lack a GREAT deal of patience.


Cheers,


Cubanut

I just got back from a nice weekend in Havana. Uneventful aside from nice chicas. I was due after that last weekend...

Cubanut, I can see that happening now with the owner all of a sudden forbidding guests. On my first trip I paid for the first 2 nights up front (10 night trip), and after the first 2 nights I paid for the rest which might have been a mistake. She didn't cause any problems for me but knowing now what I didn't know then, I'm definitely only paying one day at a time from now on.

Patience is definitely a virtue in Cuba. I want to spend some time outside of Havana though, I kind of get the idea that the people in the countryside are a little more honest than the city folk.

Great reporting. You definitely have a way with dealing with the girls and getting them to perform.

I also ate at la roca and it was great for the price. The pizza on the first floor of melia cohiba is also something to try.

Bwana, the talent in cuba is no joke! There quantity of hot chicas at the clubs is like nothing I've ever witnessed....and just about every single one will end up hitting on you. Unfortunately, their are some major downsides that I plan to write about.