If you could where would you retire?

For me the following are things that I would consider important in choosing a location:

- Access to cheap (or at least reasonably priced) pussy
- Low cost of living
- Reasonably safe
- Reasonably priced rent with standard comforts like running water, electricity, cable, internet
- Access to good quality groceries (not just locally produced goods)
- Reasonably priced transportation readily available (so I don’t have to own a car)
- Things to do (AC is an example of nothing to do other than drink and f*ck)
- Access to reasonably priced and good healthcare

Any suggestions?


SALover

If one could only make the political problems disappear (good luck with that) I would vote for Bangkok, although I suspect there are other places on the list that would have a lower cost of living.

SAlover, according to your criteria, sounds like importing a LBFM to Bumblefuck Hicksville, North America is the perfect recipe?

(Message edited by Porker on May 05, 2010)

Alas, import that LBFM to USA and you instantly fucked off two thirds your wealth if you piss her off and she gets an attitude.

I'd have to concur with LA Guy, Thailand best combines accessibility to first world style infrastructure and real culture, (such as it is), with semi-third world price structure and hot chicks who will readily bang rich old guys.

I would rent before buying a place. Do not make it too hard to leave if you don't like it. I would consider Colombia. I think it is safe and a lot of fun. There are a lot of nice cities to travel to in Colombia. The other thing nice about central and south america is you are own the same time zone as the US if you like sports.

Was in Thailand and I think the superbowl came on at 7am. Just not the same.

Thailand is also nice but would live somewhere else besides Bangkok. Either by the water or Chiang Mai. The muay thai is awesome if you want to work out. The massages are great and cheap.

I agree there is not much else in AC. It is cheap but I would get tired of it quickly.

If I bought I would get a place I could rent if I decided to take extended vacations. It would be ideal to have 2 or 3 places to move around and rent the ones you are not using.

OK my first choice is Pattaya, but then again I don't watch the super bowl. If you are living in Jomtien there is such a diversity of expats you could be anywhere in the world, the only Thais you would have to deal with are those that clean your house and those that clean your pipes.

If I wanted somewhere closer to the USA, Cartagena has to up there as a choice. Great beaches, great girls an old world city with some new world malls. If you shop around it’s not that expensive but how is your Spanish?

Importing LBFM is definitely a bad idea. I have personal experience with how Filipinas change when they hit North America soil. I sponsored 3 nannies from PI and all of them were highly highly recommended by a very good friend. But within a month of arriving they hook up with the local Filipina network and they change. All of them turned very lazy and developed attitude and each one got fired in less than a year. After 3 tries at this, I know enough never to bring a Filipina over.


SALover

I will second that. I was seeing one that was going through a divorce after 15 years of marriage. She not only wants child support, but also spousal support, and she was bragging that since she had been married for more than 10 years she wanted part of his social security.....WTF

When I told her that I did not think she deserved spousal support or part of his social security, she got pissed. I'm glad she said these things, because I don't want someone like that in my life.

OK, then, I can assure you there's no "You GO girl and GRAB THAT SOCIAL SECURITY CASH" bamboo telegraph network in Mexico!

Marry her and import her to some Mexican border town and insist you gotta work 12 hours per day outside the house to keep her in dried fish like she's accustomed to!

Actually,

The live in Singapore or Malaysia, and then get you favorite passports to bring in on rotation was a good model for me. Although, Singapore is getting very expensive these days. Also, Singapore and KL put you in short distance and cheap flights to all kinds of paradises.

An interesting characteristic of the LBFM Social Security gravy train is that the US Goberment will pay your LBFM double, and while she is young, if you meet an untimely death while she is pregnant with your (or someone else's) kid. Big Social Security payoff's for hapless widows. Official US goberment sponsorship of widowdom.

I personally know a,,,,, now dead,,,,, guy who I feel falls into this category. 60 Y/O dead guy, gunned down by anonymous young Filipino dude in probince, 20 Y/O new Filipina wife w/ child, full Social security benefits for HER now being mailed to the probince............. Suspicious????????? I knew the dude. Yes it is suspicious. Anyone anywhere doing anything about it?????? Nope. Filipino authorities were apparently unable to solve the crime.

Hey IAS; I wonder if this could explain the rash of suicides in Pattaya??

I would pick a place that you can easily pick up and leave if a revolution starts up or a war is declared or a coup or even some natural disaster. Keep your assets in the US as well, only keep what you need for short-term use in the country you're living in.

Personally, nothing beats good ole USA. Plenty of cheap places to live, best healthcare, reasonable flights/plenty of choices to everywhere, stable, assets are as safe as anywhere, etc.

I would rather spend my retirement constantly traveling rather than plunking my ass down in any one place- so the question becomes more of where the best place to park all your shit is and where can I regroup with no BS (healthcare, etc). If you can swing it, pawn all the crap, put all the assets in US investment accounts, and hit the road permanently with no more than 4 weeks anywhere!