Since it's obvious by reading your recent posts nobody is learning anything. Here's a little something to help you get those these balmby summer nights. It's a little Ovelteen!

Since my soul searching hasn't produced much progress. I've made arangements to buy Veronicas, an SG's soul. She says she's bought many American men's souls. But with my luck She's probably going to give me the one she stoled it from a TJ cop!


Animal Facts:

The largest penis in the animal kingdom is that of the blue whale. Its average length is 11 feet (3.35 m)!
The height from the court floor to the rim of a basketball hoop is 10 feet (3.05 m).
A whale penis is called a dork.
The largest testicles in the world are those of the northern right whale (Eubalaena glacialis), which has a pair of gonads that can weigh up to 2,200 lbs (997.902 kg).
The reason why they evolved such enormous testicles is caused by the fact that each whale's sperm competes with that of other whales.
When the female whale comes into heat she immediately gets mobbed by about 30 passionate males who all make love to her (or at least try this). Each whale attempts to wash out the sperm of the competitor with their own. The more sperm they produce, the biggest the chance they will succeed.
The largest vagina is that of the female blue whale, which is not surprising considering the size her lover's penis. Her vulva consists of a long groove along her underside and normally has a length of 6 to 8 feet (1.82 m to 2.44 m). It expands when intercourse occurs.
The largest penis among land animals is that of the African bull elephants, which has a penis that measures on average 5 to 6 feet (1.52 m to 1.83 m)
It also has the largest testicles of 4.4 lbs. (2 kg) each and are about the size of a large football.
The most sex organs are owned by the tapeworm (that flattened intestinal parasite that's the scourge of vertebrates all over the world).
Their heads are equipped with little hooks for attaching themselves to the intestinal lining of the host. From their head (called scolex) new body segments are created. Each of these segments have a complete set of sexual organs, both male and female.
Once the flatworm is properly situated it typically grows anywhere from 0.04 inches to 30 feet (1 millimeter to 9 meters) long. It mates with itself and grows eggs, which are washed away by the host's digestive wastes.
The largest tapeworm ever found measured over 230 feet in length (70 m) and had over 11,000 segments, or over 22,000 individual sexual organs.
The longest sperm relative to body length is that of the Drosophila Bifurca, a distant relative of the fruit fly. They produce sperm 6 cm in length. This is 20 times longer than their entire body length.
The largest number of nipples are owned by the tenrac (Centetes ecaudatus), an insectivore occuring in Madagascar. It has 22 to 24 nipples.
Some single cells have no fewer than eight different sexes.
Oysters change sex according to the temperature of the water around them.
Iguana and Koalas have (each) 2 penises.
Lions as well as all other felines have a barbed penis. This means that when copulating they litterally get "hooked" to their partner.
Before mating, earthworms produce a special mucus to glue themselves together.
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
The animals that copulate the most are the rodents.
The Shaw's jird (Meriones shawi shawi, a type of gerbil) has been observed to copulate 224 times in the space of 2 hours.
Snakes are the animals that can copulate the longest. They can have intercourse from six to twelve hours. The record is held by a pair of rattlesnakes that remained in copulatory connection for no less than 22.75 hours.
The record of the shortest coitus is probably that of the mosquito which mates on the wing and has sex for only 2 seconds.
The longest sustained orgasm of all animals are enjoyed by pigs. Their orgasms can last for a full 30 minutes!!
Some flies procreate so much that just one couple will create enough descendants to make a "carpet" around the entire globe of ±3.1 miles (±5 km) thick!
Flatworms sometimes reproduce by pulling themselves apart. Each part develops into a worm.
A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.


Other Sex Facts:

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
There are "flatulists" who are known to be able to fart melodies and blow out the flame of a candle that way.
A Dutch veterinarian was given a fine of 600 guilders (about $240 at that time) for causing a fire that destroyed a farm in Lichten Voorde, the Netherlands. The vet had tried to convince a farmer that his cow was passing flatulent gas; to demonstrate, the vet ignited the gas with his lighter, but the cow became a real "four-legged flame-thrower" and ran wild, setting fire to bales of hay. The damage to the farm was assessed at $80,000 (about 200.000 guilders). The cow was unharmed.
(Source: Dutch AP)
Humans, dolphins and certain species of monkeys are the only species that are known to have sex even when it's just for pleasure.
According to a survey, the second most popular reason for having sex is to produce a baby.
The oldest sex manuals were published in China 5,000 years ago. They were about Taoist sex secrets.
However, the practices of Tantra sex go back even earlier, although not necessarily in written form.
A man produces between 50 million and 250 million sperms every day. If every sperm would make a child 1 to 5 ejaculations would be enough to repopulate the US! 24 to 120 ejaculations would be enough to repopulate the entire world!
Women are born with all the eggs that they will ovulate in their life. This is aprox. 4000 eggs!
The taste of a man's semen varies with his diet.
Foods that are alkaline-based (such as fish and some meats) are said to produce a buttery or fishy taste.
Dairy products are said to create a foul taste.
The taste of semen after eating asparagus is said to be the foulest.
However, acidic fruits (orange, mango, kiwi, lemon, grapefruit, a.s.o.) give it a pleasant and sugary taste!
Some women are afraid of semen. This is called spermatophobia.
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is probably Khoona. It is drunk by Afghan tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm "very recently attained" bull semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.
Usually, one testicle hangs lower than the other, and may be slightly larger. In right-handed men the right testicle is generally higher. In left-handed men the left is higher.
Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%.
Percent of single men who say they masturbate: 41%.
Percent of married men who say they masturbate: 17%.
Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%.
Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%.
Most couples make love six times a month, but 33% of men and 25% of women would like to do it at least twice as often.
A worldwide survey of men's tastes in women revealed that plump women were more in demand than slim ones.
The Amazons believe that lame men made the best lovers and consequently used to break the legs of their male captives.
Having sex 3 times a week burns 7500 calories per year. That's the equivalent of jogging 75 miles (120.675 km). The more intense the sex, the more calories are burnt: up to 10,000 calories annually.
Besides its aerobic benefits, sex may offer a small amount of resistance training. During arousal and orgasm there is myotonia, or contraction of the muscles. The more energetic the activity, the better.
Some people get sexually aroused by seeing leather shoes...


Other Sex Facts:

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (As if THAT makes sense).
In Guam there are men whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...
The reason is that under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?).
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Fairbanks, Alaska, there is a law that doesn't allow moose to have sex on city streets.
Women must address bachelors as master instead of mister, according to an Illinois state law.
Homosexuality is illegal in 23 states of the USA.
A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.
A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than three pounds, two ounces.
Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.
No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in Norfolk, Virginia.
Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal. (So how do they get these kids then, huh...? Are they imported?)
A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the wedding night).
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.


Westfargo...

"In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (As if THAT makes sense). "

Makes perfect sense to me. Just take a look at Lebanese women; any sex would be better. And Lebaneses are all Lesbians anyway. And I would not let a male animal I own have sex with a Lesbian Lebanese woman.

Try sole searchimg. You may have better luck.

"The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off."

Sorry, this is wrong. It is during the sex act that the female frequently rips the head off the male and eats it.

As opposed to a human female how wil rip the head off the male if she finds out that he has been mongering in TJ!

Evermorning I go to drow the kids off at school. And in Corona next to Mc Kinley st. the're about 100 or so illgal's waiting to jump in the back of trucks to work. Since the ecomony is slowing down they are finding themself without work and their resulting to clever methods to generate money.
Last night I rode my bike to the 7-11 to get a sode. There was an Illegal selling Shoping carts for $5 each. We had 10 of them. Then as I was on the phone he walk up to me and begin to pee right behind the phone booth. I immedetly hang up the phone and told him off. And told him to go back to Mexico to shit and piss and fuck-up the place. The US is a country that deserves respect. He then pushed me and then hit me. I've never had one that agrassive. I hit him back. Then another jumped in and started to hit me. Then another got into his truck and tried to run me over. Litterly! I didn't know about it but a lady called the cops and she said as I was fighting this one Mexican guy in his truck was spinning his wheels trying to ram he into the wall. I remember the smoke from the back tires. And the owner of the 7-11 Tahmahojo Ali Rockentani told me they were planning to kill me. Then after what seemed like forever the cops came. But it was only 2 minutes. The had to wait for a Spanish speaking cop. They naturally blamed it on me. Thank god the American gal stuck around and told the cops what happened. I told them the guy was peeing next to me in public and then started to puch me and his friends jumped in too. Naturally their storie was completely different. They said, I had tried to mug them for money and I said I had a gun and a knife. I was lucky I was in a public area. One of the cops said if I was alone I would have to go to jail for attempted robbery, and that would cost me $50,000 bail more or less. But the women and owner were my whitnesses. The cops checked the license of the owner of the truck. Guess what? He had a fake ID, No insurance, and the truck was borrowed. The cops towed it, one cop told me it will be gone for 30 days at least. And cost a fortune to get back. I told the cops that the other guy that hit me I wanted him arrested for assult and battery. The hispanic cop told me, the guy that assulted me wasn't such a bad guy, and he said he was just trying to protect himself. He doesn't wan't any trouble. I said, NO! Through him in Jail. NOW! PLEASE! A couple of minutes later, the cops came back and said, Really, this guys has a wife and kids. He said, he's learned his lesson, he's not going to do nothing but work and keep out of trouble. I told the cop. Don't fall for their sad stories. He doesn't have a wife and kids. I wan't him arrested, you said, If I didn't have any whitnesses I would have been arrested. So, arrest him. Why are you trying to protect him? The cop said, this guy is new in this country and he's trying to get accalameted. So lets just give him a brake! I told him, If we were a guest in Mexico and we pulled this kind of crap would we get a BREAK? All the cops paused and walked a way and they arrested all four of the guys. By that time there was about 7 cop cars, you'd think that the world had come to an end. My ear is all red and I've got a big cut on my chest. I wonder if one had a knife. Funny, I ride my bike 20 miles a day. And my legs are sore do to the fight. Also, the cops called my house 3 times through the night and I'm going to sign a statement. Also, the cops at the station said, The Illigals are going to be released this afternoon. I asked, isn't there anything we can do to lock them up a little longer. The cops said, NO! We know they arn't familiar with our laws and we're easy on them for that reason. I said, do you know in Mexico, I the fines are double because forniers are considered guests and they should be on the their best behavior. The cops said, we didn't know that! But it makes sense. But we're not going to stup down to their level. One cop gal on the phone said, that all this is a waist. Because the guys won't show up for their court date. So, all is a waist.

I feel good, those are 4 potential criminals, why? If their desperate enough to fight me and risk being deported, what other desperate acts will they do since the economy is going down and it's likely they're going to find any jobs and themselfs do desperate things for money!

U.S. = 4
Mexcio = 0

Westfargo...

West Faggo = 4
Mexcio (sp?) 2,000,000,000

Let's keep this in perspective here, lone ranger . . . .

Actually, that probably should have been 2,000,000 (my estimate of Mexicans living in the US w/o papers, not from any official source), not 2,000,000,000 (which would be nearly the combined populations of China and India, and about 7 times the population of the US). Sorry, I was having a Fargo moment.

Anyway, I like illegal immigrants, and go out of my way to help them. They are a lot better people than their detractors, in my experience! 8-D

Westfargo, I am glad you were ok after the fight
and be sure to see if any pus or redness lingers
on for a while on that chest wound. On a lighter
note, I used your advice about street girls liking
the entertainment of talking nasty to them, by
doing a little bit of dirty talking myself and
IT WORKED. There was a girl in a bar I wanted
to spend all night with but I wanted a reasonable
price and I wanted not to have to spend all night
in a bedroom attached to the bar because my
hotel room was alot nicerand I felt safe there as well as in control of the situation. I used your negociation tactics in SEAL THE DEAL and
GUIDE TO STREET GIRLS to good effect. The chica
wanted double the price of what I wanted to pay
and also would not accept leaving with me to go
to a hotel. So I just continued my Westfargo
tactics and kept talking to her but also began
to tease the female bartender and all the girls
sitting around listening began to laugh. I stood
up at the bar with my hand on my head and told
the female bartender to turn up the air conditioning or to turn her front side of her body away from me, because I was really getting
hot. The girls saw me appearing tobe in great agony and of course figured I was putting them
on but really got interested. The female bartender wanted to know what was making me so
hot and I told her "el fuego de tu toca" and
una panocha caliente. Then I told them how I
liked a hot pussy but I was getting overheated
just sitting there and then I recited a Mexican
proverb and all the girls started laughing. The
chica I wanted to spend the night with started
smiling and seemed tobe come more postive. Seems
like the chicas are not used to Gringos speaking
Spanish and even talking dirty to them in Spanish. I then danced with her and bought her
a drink and just kept right on talking with her
and she started to talk to me like I was a real
person that she liked and enjoyed spending time
with. She really seemed to relax and started to
enjoy herself and of course it was getting late
and I had taken up her time and she had no one
else to provide her extra income for the night.
Well the Westfargo tactics worked out and I got
her for one half of what she wanted and she
ended up going to my hotel and it first appeared
that there was no way she was going to my hotel.
I was thinking just the little nasty talk I did
was to good effect and what could be obtained
if I knew how to talk nasty as good as Westfargo.
Perhaps you could write a article, in Spanish
would be fine for me but maybe with some English
translations to make it easier and for the other
guys, on how to talk nasty to a chica. In fact
if you will post some how to talk masty, I will
post some how to talk romantic. How to talk
romantic to a chica really paid off for me
on my trip to Cuba....Regards DOCTORGOOD

Good job don West....you just earned yourself a slice of Bettsy Ross down home Ameican pie. Have you heard any UFO stories latley? I guess there all over Meixco city and the pilots down there are always complaining about it. San Diego has also had some recent sitings, with mucho witnesses, including law enforcement.

Just out of curiousity, what made you mad? Peeing or a Mexican peeing?

Westfargo said:
When the female whale comes into heat she immediately gets mobbed by about 30 passionate males who all make love to her (or at least try this).

Sounds exactly like what happens with some of the girls at AB on a Friday, or Saturday night.

West Fargo,

When you said "what other desperate acts will they do since the economy is going down and it's likely they're going to ..... do desperate things for money!"

Maybe this will translate into more SG's, competition, & lower prices.

This having to pay 300 pesos for a full-service hours is hurting my wallet.

300 pesos for an hour with a SG is dirt cheap.

"Perhaps you could write a article, in Spanish
would be fine for me but maybe with some English
translations"

But then who would translate West's Engelesh into our English?

That's 'cause I'm Dirt Cheap (Tengo gran enferma de mi codo)

Doctorgood,
If you use a combination of Romantic and nasty stuff, they respond better. However, Mexican women like for the man to start out with the Romantic and get into the nasty. I'll write something in spanish in a couple of days.

Salsa_Boy,
Apple pie is my favorite! I LOVE Dutch apple. Thanks!

Ptom,
Good question. I've done the same thing to Americans that I've caught peeing. They never challenge me. They usually walk away and pretend like they don't here me. Remember, for a Mexican to peeing the street is as normal as us to comb our hair. They really Beleive there's nothing wrong with it. That's way they challenged me. They're just like 99% of most mongers that cross the border. They didn't do their homework first!

Senior Panocha,
You learn quick grasshopper!

Explorer8939,
Tell that to the locals that fuck her after him. What ever ANY American is paying. It's double what the locals pay. Even if the American is paying 5pesos a day!
Pretend you were telling your dick, and there were just a bunch of big walleted forniers that you couldn't understand. Then a real American gal Young, blound, blue eye, really poor said, I haven't been fucked in months and all I have is $2. Depending on the night, you would probubly do it. That $2 bucks would go for the hotel. and he would get 100% not this for $5 extra I'll take off my shirt. Geraldo, a friend of mine that lives in Chula Vista does this trick to the SG's. He says he's very successful. We have to use other avenues...

San Puto,
I write everyday in Spanish. Sounds good to me. I'll think of something useful.

Westfargo...

While I agree public peeing is disgusting and shouldn't be done, I'm not sure jumping in there like some testosterone ladened Miss Manners is such a good idea. You never know what kind of psycho you'll be facing. All it takes is one nutjob with a 9mm and that's all she wrote.

Ptom,
I think of that a lot. As long as he's not a Redneck or Mexican/American he probubly doesn't have a gun. That's one thing good about Mexicans from Mexico. They LOVE cowboy, shoot-em-up movies. But their afraid of even touching a gun.

Westfargo...

Westfargo, can I post a public service announcement in your space?

Cool.

http://aidsmyth.addr.com/report/news/010520aidsmagfarsidegayvirus.htm