This thread started on the "Hombre Chat" section on September 16, 2002. I want to bring this over to the Discus section because I want to keep it updated from time to time and it will be a lot cleaner if I don't have to reference the archives of the Chat section.

The first two post under here are just reposted from "Hombre Chat", but the third post titled "There's No Turning Back Now" is where I'm posting the latest on the realities of my buddy's experience.

Posted by _Snapper_ on September 16, 2002

I need some help kicking some sense into my buddy's thick skull.

Ok, my buddy is bringing a girl to the U.S. from asia for marriage. He thinks the most he can lose in a divorce without a Prenuptial Agreement is half of his earnings that he has made during the marriage. Please will some of you legal types, or others that have gone through a divorce let him know how wrong he is.
He says that he is too uncomfortable to bring up the Prenuptial Agreement. Since I have not gone through a divorce I can't pass on any first hand knowledge on this subject. All I can say to him is "you won't know what uncomfortable is for three more years when her lawyer has his foot firmly imbedded in your ass."

I just want my buddy to wake up and smell the roses before it is too late. Thanks for any comments.


-snapper-



Posted by Milkman on September 16, 2002 - 12:14 pm

"He says that he is too uncomfortable to bring up the Prenuptial Agreement"

Ok so now we know we are not dealing with a toughguy i will just let you know that there is not a thing you can do or say that will change his mind.

He will have to learn the hard way.

Big hearts overcome reality until the heart is broken.

The divorce rate is like 50 percent in the usa I think
the divorce rate for overseas women marrying gringos must be like 98.7 percent or at least until they are 100 percent legal.

If they divorce the gringo they can be sent back.
they need to be married I think 4 years.

Sorry about your amigo
Milky



Posted by Trumpet on September 16, 2002 - 17:30 pm

I went through this two years ago

I married a girl from the Phils. lasted 6 years. She only got 50% of what I saved, retirement, and the value of the house durning the marriage, no more. She had a job so I did not pay her monthly. Tell him to marry one that has a college degree, she can get a job and earn her own way if they split. That's what she did. They can stay hear if they get their perm. Visa after two years, not four. She is now a US citizen, that was one year after we seperated.



Posted by _Snapper_ on September 16, 2002 - 18:32 pm

"Tell him to marry one that has a college degree, she can get a job and earn her own way if they split."

Too late for that, of course she was(is) a sex worker. She also has him convinced that she is a virgin(I didn't know that virgins worked in hooker-bars). She claims that she "just danced" there.

His plan to keep her in the marriage is to make sure she is dependant on him. He says that he isn't going to let her get a job, drive the car, or leave the house. Sounds like the makings of a great relationship to me. Wouldn't just be easier to meet a woman that you trust?

I think Milky is right. Nothing will probably change his mind on the pre-nup, but I need to try.



Posted by Trumpet on September 16, 2002 - 19:23 pm

Yes, I would try and talk him out of doing it, but if it is to late and well he is in trouble. A lot of the Sex workers in the Phils try to claim they are Cherry, or a Virgin, but of course they are not. I also had a friend that has done what your friend is doing, ie. keeping her at home and they have been married 12 years. She stays home take care of the kid and the house, but I know he is not happy because anytime he can get away and go to Reno or Carson City for some fun he does. He has asked me many times about TJ. She seems to be happy, but who knows.

Your friend may have a hard time getting her a Visa even if they are married if she worked in a sex bar and had anytype of lic. or if someone reports her.



Posted by _Snapper_ on September 16, 2002 - 22:31 pm

Yeah, it's too late

He is on a plane to the Philippines right now. I have an idea of how my buddy's brain works, and I know that talk'n him out of getting married to this woman was out of the question. He gets these brilliant ideas in his head and won't think them through.

As far as Milky's stat of 50% divorce rate, you can bump that up to 82% here in Las Vegas. Add on to that the fact that it is a "mail-order bride" situation, and the woman is an ex-sex worker(I'd call what she does, or did the same thing as stripping) the marriage is destin to fail. I just hope he will see this and see he will need to control his loses.



Posted by Ezgab on September 16, 2002 - 21:52 pm

I saw this same story plaed up in Seattle about 5 or 6 years ago. The end result in that case was a murder, although, I forgot who killed who. Everything else was exact to a tee.



Posted by Tight_Fit on September 16, 2002 - 22:19 pm

"His plan to keep her in the marriage is to make sure she is dependant on him. He says that he isn't going to let her get a job, drive the car, or leave the house. Sounds like the makings of a great relationship to me. Wouldn't just be easier to meet a woman that you trust?"

Snapper, you need to forget about your friend and instead talk to the woman. This guy sounds like a real winner. His future slave, I mean wife, doesn't deserve this regardless of her reasons for marrying the guy.



Posted by _Snapper_ on September 17, 2002 - 0:32 am

When my buddy said those thing to me he was being a little sarcastic. I do know that her going out partying with friends will be out of the question. I have brought up the fact that he is bringing a 21 year old girl to one of the most exciting cities in the world, and she isn't going to want to sit at home all the time like he does.

I have asked him if he has had an honest talk with her about what her expectations are when she gets to Las Vegas. He told me that all she said was that she wanted a man to take care of. He is such a sucker for hearing the thing he wants to hear(like the fact that she's a virgin).

My buddy is really a nice guy. Witch is probably why he constantly getting screwed over. He just thinks that keeping her restricted to the house(so to speak) will protect himself from being hurt. I know it seems like he's a glutton though by getting himself into this kind of situation. I sometimes wonder if he likes getting screwed over.



Posted by Milkman on September 17, 2002 - 7:24 am

in this world nice guys get dick
in business or relationships its all the same.

He needs to spend a weekend with Milky so i can teach him how to treat women so they will cum back running for mas !!!

Milky



Posted by Catocony on September 17, 2002 - 5:41 am

Virgins in hooker bars

if she sticks to blow jobs, tit fucks, hand jobs and ass poundings, she technically is a virgin.



Posted by Putanero on September 21, 2002 - 7:25 am

Snapper
Your buddy doesn't happen to look like some famous comedian does he?
Putanero



Posted by _Snapper_ on September 21, 2002 - 8:55 am

No, it's not WHO you are thinking of. The buddy I'm talk'n about looks more like Danny DeVito.



Posted by Ezgab on September 16, 2002 - 21:48 pm

milky,

Not sure where you got your stats...but the Asian part seems a bit high. The waiting period is actually two years instead of four. During that two year period you are listed as 'conditional' and after the two year period you are able to obtain your 'green card'.



Posted by Milkman on September 16, 2002 - 22:11 pm

Ezgab-a little more on this

hi
I was kinda joking on the overseas part.
But i know its more than 50 percent.
What does an overseas girl really want with a dumbgringo ?
Why not just marry some local toughguy ?
Answer they want to get to the USA to live the "free" life ?

I don't mind that they want to better their lives but i have had friends hurt and it is not fun watching thier lives go down the tubes.

Most of these guys along with some on this board have huge hearts and would do anything to meat a nice girl for marriage and i take big offense to those girls cheating these guys and taking their money - thats a double dip !!
Most do not have experience around women to know real love and plastic love.

If he is marrying a working girl ( whore )oops i mean virgin He is beyond help.
I thought it was from an agency or marriage sevice which is not much better.

But with all this said i do believe a small number of girls are sincere in meating a nice guy for marriage and they do work out.

Sorry if i sound heated i just get angry about these things
I could say a lot more but it would be unMilkylike

take care
Milk



Posted by Ezgab on September 17, 2002 - 11:31 am

I absolutely agree with everything that you have said!!!! With that being said I did in Thailand what you do in TJ. When I was looking for a girlfriend, I eliminated the 'working girls' and any introduction service girls. I hung out at the college bars and restuarants. I met a girl a couple of years ago. She has been to the U.S for a few months and met my friends and family and I have been to Thailand for a few months and met her friends and family. She actually was not impressed with the U.S and wanted to go back. She knows that if we are to have any future she has to live here. I can't even come close to making the kind of money that I make here. She is due to come back in November ( the visa process is taking A LOT longer now after 9/11).

I learned the hard way. About 7 years ago I went out with a TJ working girl for about a year. I finally decided that in MOST cases...you can take the girl out of the bar but you can't take the bar out of the girl.

Now a couple of my girlfriends college educated sisters want me to look for guys in the U.S. for them. Thet are both drop dead gorgeous. A number of non-pro girls think that Thai guys are very abusive, much like the Mexican guys, towards women. They also think that they drink and womenize too much. I met three thai guys that have more than one wife or a wife and couple of mistresses on the side. It is more heard of then you would think, especially among the Thai/Chinese men. I played golf with a couple of these guys and it is somewhat looked up to as a status to have more than one wife or a wife and a mistress.

Thai culture outside of the working girls is very intresting to say the least. By the way finding college educated non-pro's is very difficult in that they are frightened by the fralong and it is somewhat looked down on within the Thai culture.



Posted by Dogster on September 16, 2002 - 22:29 pm

Aw c'mon

What's with all the cynics here? True love conquers all, donchya know? These girls are just trying to get by. If somebody rescues them, why would they be anything but grateful? They just need someone to show them what it really means to care and they'll be fine. A prenittual agreement would violate any rapport and good feeling that has been nurtured by this big hearted dude.

Dogster

P.S. I'm saving it for marriage, too



Posted by _Snapper_ on September 16, 2002 - 22:36 pm

Even though Dogster is being sarcastic an arguement woulb be that if she signs a pre-nup that would prove that her intention isn't to screw him over.



Posted by Khun_Mor on September 17, 2002 - 22:40 pm

I brought my ex- wife back from Thailand and she was not even a working girl. Her father a lawyer in thailand she had a college education. She told me if she ever left me all she wanted was a one wat ticketr back to Bangkok. Well 4 years later -- and after a nasty divorce settlement once she obtained US citizenship -- I learned that pillow talk is inadmissable in court !! Use caution my friend .



Posted by _Snapper_ on September 19, 2002 - 10:50 am

Should I be surprised that nobody has said that my buddy's situation will turn out ok? ...or should that be a big hint to him that his head is in the sand?



Posted by MrBill on September 19, 2002 - 11:04 am

Print this an a couple other threads out for him. Maybe that will help change his mind. Good luck



Posted by Murasaki on September 24, 2002 - 21:49 pm

Pre-nup all the way

As far as I'm concerned, in this day and age, nobody should be marrying without a pre-nup, regardless of who the object of their affection is. ESPECIALLY if it's a bargirl from a lesser-developed country.

No one should take offense at pre-nups. They're just a reflection of the modern realities we face these days.

I certainly would support the friend in opening the heart and giving the girl a chance, but geez, protect the financial assets!!!! There is no excuse for not doing so. Does he go bareback when he's mongering? That's what he's doing with this marriage, metaphorically speaking.

Posted by _Snapper_ on September 26, 2002 - 15:44 pm

Update on my buddy and his virgin bar-girl asian bride

Well my buddy has seen the comments left on his situation. He is thankful for my concern and your comments. Milky stated that he probably going to have to learn the hard way, and I think he's right. My buddy says he still doesn't know if he's going to get a pre-nup, so I take that as a "I'm going to be a sucker".

It was pretty funny when I met her. I had picked them up at the airport and while they were unpacking my buddy called me in to show me something pictures he had got. Anyway when opened the suitcase some of her panties were on top. She hurried up and covered them up(as if I hadn't already seen her buck-ass naked). ...She really lays this virgin thing on pretty thick.

Of course just hours after meeting her she is already trying to hook me up with one of her friends, but we knew that was coming. I just didn't think she would be that blatant about it.



Posted by Khun_Mor on September 28, 2002 - 14:34 pm

Hey I'm sure she's a virgin too !! Go for it.



Posted by _Snapper_ on September 29, 2002 - 13:03 pm

Now I'm going to ask her if she is. I bet you're right.-lol



Posted by Treeshark on September 28, 2002 - 23:16 pm

Please keep us updated on this

Or me at least... I have found my "true love"

And perhaps I might learn a few things from your friends errors..

And hell yes, I will get a pre-nup..

I am more hoping for the best but preparing for the worst..

But two other hombres from this board have met her and they think that she is the best that they have seen me with so far so maybe a ray of hope is there..

treeshark



Posted by _Snapper_ on September 29, 2002 - 5:59 am

I am neighbors with my buddy so I drop by their place all the time. I can already tell that thing aren't going to work out with them. They just don't have anything in common.

I have warned my buddy about the age difference before and that it might be a problem. He is 38 and she is 21(maybe 22 now). My buddy tells me that he's a "young 38", and I remind him that he listens to AM radio. I also remind him that often when he has called her she was out partying with her friends.

My buddy will only leave the house if it's on fire. He does nothing but sit on his chair and watch Star-Trek. Even now that she is here he sits in the chair and not by her(if they both happen to be in the same room).

They do sleep in the same bed, but that's about the only time they spend together. He is usually downstairs watching TV, and she is upstairs chatting with friends on the computer or listing to music.

One time I dropped by and they were actually in the same room. He was watching TV(of course) and she was doing some cross-stitch or something. Anyway the whole time I was there they didn't say one word to each other.

She really seems to be just passing time.


Here is the mistakes that I feel my buddy has made so far with this situation:

-He decided to bring her over here before he had a chance to meet her face to face. He didn't let her know that, but I even told my buddy that I knew he has already made up his mind to bring her over here just after chatting with her for a couple weeks.

-He didn't spend enough time with her to really get to know her. He was only in Manila for four or five days back in May to spend some time with her(note she had to work every day he was there). Talking on the phone only goes so far.

-He has put on the "rose colored glasses". No matter how bad things are going, in his mind everything is great. That's ok to a point, but sooner or later it will catch up with him. (This is another reason he won't get a pre-nup. In his head there is no way it won't work out. He lost grip with reality.)

-He thinks that just because they don't argue everything is going well. There is already serious lack of communication in this relationship.


I know that if something feels right to a man that he has to go through with it, and I really hope that everything works out great for the guys that bring women back to this country. Just be careful, and know that the odds are against you. Take the precautions that will limit your loses. Hopefully you are one of the very few lucky ones that this actually works out for.


-snapper-



Posted by Treeshark on September 29, 2002 - 10:24 am

Ouch, that HURT

Oh sigh, well I am sure that you would think that mine is doomed then..

There is an age difference.. However I tend to think more like Alexander the great. Better a short exciting marriage then a long boring one.

However we do spend all our time together when I was in CTG.

Did not chat with mine first. She picked me up even though I really was after her friend.

I decided to marry mine after about 48 hours. This was totally against my pre-trip plan.

I guess I have on rose colored glasses too just to think that this wll even work out.. But I would rather have 2 to 4 years of being with this one then not trying. I am preparing for a divorce, but hope that at least it can be friendly.. Anf I can always find another wife in colombia.

There is a bad lack of comminications with us too. She can not speak english and my spanish is real bad/ However she starts her english classes monday and i will study more.

But you know what?? when the chemistry is really there, you do not need to speak the same language; and i think that will last, at least until the honeymoon is over.

I know that the odds are against me...

But I think that I am one of the lucky ones just for the time that I have spent with her so far. And whatever extra time I get is just a great bonus..

Sigh, my beautiful colombian flower: I have known many sweet things in life but you are the sweetest of them all..
But damn I am going to hate your divorce attorney!!!!!

treeshark



Posted by Catocony on September 29, 2002 - 12:51 pm

Get married under your ClubHombre handle, not your name :-) lol



Posted by _Snapper_ on September 29, 2002 - 12:58 pm

"Sigh, my beautiful colombian flower: I have known many sweet things in life but you are the sweetest of them all."
Ok, you're going to make me BARF!!!-lol


Ok, personally I feel that the chemistry is more important than the age difference. My buddy and his virgin bar-girl just don't seem to have any. She likes to party and he likes to be a house plant.

It would be ideal to have a wife for two years or so then trade her in for a new one. I know that with me though I would have a big problem if I fell in love with her and then had her leave me after having no clue anything was wrong. That's just the kind of drama I would not want to ever have to deal with.

To me it seems like you have a much better grip on reality than my buddy. After all you know that the odds are stacked against you, and you are taking the necessary precautions to limit your loses.

I don't know anyone who has brought a latin girl to the United States. Hopefully marriages with latinas turn out better than most asian-bride situations. Good Luck

-snapper-



Posted by Zorrofox on September 30, 2002 - 12:52 pm

well she got her ticket outta the Phillipines..after she gets the relatives over here and two years have past...he will be toast.
The Phillipines are very very money hungry and will go for all the jewels he has.

Why not take him to CR and change his narrow perception on life.
He better make sure he doesnt open up any joint bank accounts, not to co-mix his previous assets (i.e. keep em separate) and put nothing in her name. She will get the community property when the time comes (and it will come) but he had better document what is his and keep it separate.

This guy fall off a turnip truck??

There's No Turning Back Now

Ok, they are now newlyweds. As suspected he DIDN'T ask her to sign a pre-nup. I tried my best to point out to my buddy that he isn't thinking clearly.

I understand that if something feels right(or if a man wants it to feel right bad enough) that there is nothing that will stop him from going and bringing a girl here from overseas like my buddy did. I'm all for taking that chance, but I just wanted him to know of the risks, and that the odds are stacked against him. It is in his best interest to protect himself from an unsuccessful end to this relationship. I really hope that my buddy beats the odds and can prove my notions wrong on his marriage with this girl. Only time will tell.

I have noticed some improvements between the two of them. The last couple times I went over there they were actually talking to each other. So they are trying to communicate better than they were upon my last update.

My buddy is also trying to watch some TV that she wants to watch instead of just Star-Trek. It's funny, when I see my buddy sitting there watching "I Bet You Will" on MTV. Let me remind you that my buddy listens to AM radio(not that that's bad, he's just really old compared to her). Shit, my buddy stopped watching MTV back when they only played music, and that was a long time ago.

I think of my buddy sitting there pretending to enjoy MTV would be like me pretending to enjoy norteno music just to get some trim. I think I'd pay for sex long before I ever would compromise that much ...I guess that's one reason why I pay for sex.


Now for the bad things that I noticed going on here. Let me add here that I am no longer saying anything to my buddy about his relationship. There is no reason for that. I guess it's just best now for wish them all the luck in the world and try to be friends with both of them.

Trying to be friends with her is where things are getting a little weird. She is revealing things to me that don't make any sense. If my buddy had a sense of humor I would think that they are trying to play a joke on me, just to see what kind of reaction I have to the thing she is saying to me, and asking me to do. I give them no reaction I guess. Like I said I'm done saying anything about this relationship to my buddy.

She called me over a couple days ago because she needed to clear the history on the computer. She said she didn't know how, but I have my doubts about that. I mean she is on the computer a lot I would hope she knows more about them than I do. Anyway she said she needed to clear the history on the computer because she didn't want Danny(the alias that I'll give my buddy since I said he looks like Danny DeVito) to see where she has been.

She told me that her old boss made some movies with her(meaning porno) and she was checking to make sure that he didn't post them on his website. Of course he put them on his website. That's where porn is supposed to go ...and no I won't tell you guy what site it was.

My buddy told me awhile back that her old boss was trying to get her to do some girl on girl porn for him. To Danny's knowledge she didn't do it. I also don't think that she mentioned that the other girl was named "Mark" and had a cock. I guess telling Danny that she did some porn would kinda ruin that virgin image she is trying so hard to portray.

The other thing she did when I was over there that day was try to get me to cash some money orders she had. She had four of them $250 each. Some guy from Phoenix sent them to her.

I couldn't believe she was asking me to sneak around my buddy's back for her benefit. I understand that she doesn't know anyone here so that's why she was asking me to do it. I just told her the Danny could cash them for her.

Three days later Danny is bragging to me about how some sucker from Phoenix was sending her money and he was putting it into his account. I just let him go on thinking he's a pimp-daddy. To tell you guy the truth I'm glad he stuffed that money into his account.

I am really trying to have a positive attitude and outlook around Danny and his wife. At the same time I'm trying hard to let her know that under no circumstance will I sneak around his back for her gain. By her letting me see those videos clips of her off her old boss' website along with the photos she showed me before of her and her Filipina friends really opened my eyes to how these women work what they have to manipulate men. I guess I'm still trying to figure out if she is different from any other woman in that sense.

I have two other buddy's that are in the process of bringing asian girls back here. One of their girls is a virgin too. Kinda funny how every Filipina has the same exact story. At least these other two buddy's of mine see through that bullshit and have a much better grip on reality.


-snapper-

Gee ! That sounds like me, except my virgin has three kids.

These dumb gringos will only learn the hard way.
I said it all before just read above !
" other girl was named "Mark" and had a cock"
Do you have Marks phone number ?
Just kidding

How many virgins work in whore bars ?
Answer that por me !

Take care
Milkman

But Milky, it was her FIRST day on the job!!

Seriously, I dearly hope this isn't the fate of our beloved (now MIA) DrewWho. Drew, if you're out there, what's up??

I assure you that it not any board member. It might as well have been though seeing that all the stories are so similar.

I never had a chance to meet Drewwho, but I would think the fact that he came up through the mongering ranks he has a idea of the risks involved with these types of relationships. Besides his girl is from Thailand not the Philippines.

Like I said I don't fault these guys for doing this. Nobody wants to be alone. Epically these guys from Las Vegas. It's really had to find women here that don't have any bad vice's or kids. I hope they are all the "lucky ones" that beat the odds.

You may not be doing a service to your friend by even having any discussions with his wife. Just withdraw.

I totally agree. I was suspicious when she told me that she didn't know how to clear the history on their computer. I really felt that she only used that as a excuse to get me one on one so she could ask me to cash those money orders for her.

She is aware that I know a little about her background. I kinda like talking to her about the bar seen in Philippines and such while they are both together in the same room, but I definitely didn't feel comfortable having a one on one conversation with her. I felt like she was backing me into a corner.

Filipinas whom work in bars have an agenda to meet an American, get their green card and get the rest of the family over to America.....they will do this at any cost and without regard for honesty or morals. Most Thai girls dont even want to leave Thailand. To them, America is no better than Thailand. They would rather stay in Thailand with their Thai boyfriends and receive their monthly Western Union money from Joe, Hans, Nigel and Helmut.

Snapper,

You didn't feel that she was making a come on to you? I mean when a girl shows you her "Porno" videos, don't you think that leaves a door open? Maybe she was trying to go behind your buddies back in more than one way. She definitely sounds like bad news.

I have a strong feeling that I mean nothing to this woman. Probably the same as my buddy means nothing to her. She just uses guys to get what she wants.

Community Property

Well, today my buddy found out what community property is.

He has been dealing with the bank for the past couple weeks to do a refinance on his house. Of course the loan officer needed her signature on the refinance because the state of Nevada recognizes the house as community property.

He insisted that the house was all his, but like I explained to him after marriage every thing is community property. His argument for that is always the she has no income. Like I told him before the courts don't care about that.

My buddy's argument has been brought up by thousands of men, and of course it never worked for them. I don't know why he thought it would(or will) work for him. I have a hard time believing that he is that naive.

Hopefully today was a little bit of a wake up call, and he'll think about getting a post-nup(if they are even recognized in court).


-snapper-

I would like to know of any success storys in which the prenuptual aggrement worked out, especially here in Nevada.

tell him not to re-finance, he doesn't want her signature on anything.

For years I used to keep a newspaper clipping in my wallet. It was from the classified advertisements section of one of the Manila newspapers.

The ad was for a cosmetic surgery place. while I don't remember all of the details, it went something like this:

Facelifts
Liposuction
Virginity restoration

and so on.

They basically take a piece of pigskin and "tack" in in there, so that on the weddign night there is both resistance and a little bit of blood.

Voila! She really was a virgin!

Haha. It's all in your head anyway. Just think, you could donate a small piece of your gut to make some poor girl's wedding night extra special. Recycling for a good cause.

She has been here just over two months now. My buddy is quite happy(for now anyway). He even said to me "See, this relationship doesn't seem fake" and "I'm sure we'll be together a long time". Of course, I didn't say what I was thinking, witch was "Yes it will last a long time, at least two years".


Here are two things that should be big eye-openers to my buddy:

1)She has been sleeping to 4:30, or 5:00 in the evening every day. This would indicate to me anyways that she is really bored, or she is suffering from depression.

2)She keeps asking Danny to get her a prepaid cellular phone. This makes no sense at all. First of all it would be cheaper for her to a seconded phone on his existing Singular account. Second, what the hell does she need a cell phone for. She can't leave the house. Why wouldn't she want to just use their house phone? ...I think I have the answer. If she get a prepaid cell-phone she can place her calls with out any record of them for Danny to find. No long distance bill. No statements. Nothing.
I may have come to this conclusion more easily than my buddy would have though because of the fact that I have a prepaid cell-phone just so I don't have to hide any phone bills, or statements.


that's it for now

I was always under the impression that the Asian bride was out screw the poor American. Your friend is actually begging for it. Get this guy some marriage counseling, before he loses his assets and his mind.(It may be too late for the mind part!) If it were me, I would hire an attorney ASAP and find out what can be done about the community property, if anything. Let him send this girl to school so she can have a marketable skill, besides lying on her back. Get her a job upon completion of school and do not let her quit. Let him know that he has a two year window in which he has some leverage (i.e. either clean your act up honey, or your ass goes back to the Philippines.)From the sounds of this soap opera, it will probably fall on deaf ears. It goes to show you that there is an ass made for every seat. Probably the best thing that is going to happen from this situation is that some other mongers might sit up and pay attention! Archie

It's very easy to make a clear judgement when one looks at a situation with clear, objective indicators. However, it's very difficult to make an accurate assessment when the person themselves is part of the equation.

Most people know this to be true. For a living I give indispensable advice however, when it comes to my own needs I usually go to my own set of friends and support people to help me make clear objective decisions. I'm a friggin ditz when it comes to my own situations. Yet, if you ever came to me for professional advice you would think I was wiser than the wisest sage. Unfortunately, as humans we often have emotions that cloud our better judgement. If people look throughout history, more wars and ill-will can be attributed to matters of the heart more than anything else.

Thus, even though its easy to see that this guy's buddy is headed down a shame spiral it's very difficult to see and recognize it while you're in it. Usually the only way he'll recognize his mistakes is after he MAKES his mistakes. Sad, but usually happens that way. Plus, almost everyone has the attitude of "that won't happen to me..i know better than that".

Can't see the forest for the trees..........

Tuff Guy Blazers said it best.
Just read all the replies to this post and you will get the drift.
I feel for the guy , he sounds like a nice guy just lonely and sum whore slut cunt takes him for the ride.
Next time he thinks about doing this let me know I will kick him in the nuts tell him to do otherwize and I will only take 1/4 of what he has and he will make out on the deal !

let me know
Milky

He can retain me for divorce advice. I help military guys divorce their Filipina go go girls every week....and retain their assets while kicking the girl back to the Phillipines before she gets her green card....and my $250 per hour rate is negotiable. I'm somewhat kidding but he may need someone to open his eyes.

I hope this is just a little bit of irony

Months ago(before Danny's wife arrived here) I jokingly told him to become suspicious if she started talking to, and wanting to spend time with someone that she claims is her "cousin"(of the opposite sex but of relatively the same age).

Just a week and a half ago she had a cousin from San Bernardino come and visit. Coincidently this cousin is of the opposite sex and of the same age. He stayed for two nights then went back to California.

Now in two more weeks her cousin is going to pick her up here in Las Vegas and bring her to San Bernardino for four days, then bring her back here.

For now I'm just going to dismiss this as a funny coincidence. I'll be sure to post if anything else happens with this cousin, although I'm sure he is legit, and knows that she is already bored out of her skull.

Speaking of being bored out of her skull, I asked my buddy if he had taken her out(meaning out of the house) over his weekend. He said "No, I took her out last week" witch means this poor girl is going to have to sit at home for two straight weeks without leaving the house. For this reason I don't blame her for wanting to get a furlough from her house-arrest and go to California.


-snapper-

She is looking for a tuff guy.
She probably met this guy on a naked chat line
I would be happy to supervise her for him
They should move to Antartica so he can have more control of her.

She won't wuv him wong time
Sorry
Milky

lol- you're probably right.

Relationships with foreign, Asian brides can be difficult even if they never worked in a bar (from experience). The language / cultural issues, but with a whore it definitely on life support. Even worse if they have ever been outside of their own country, they lack the international sophistication to handle new experiences, ie culture shock... Find one of the many Fillipinas that has worked abroad. They abound and many are well educated. Furthermore avoid the ones that have worked in Japan, they all worked as whores.

However, give this girl credit for initiative. She is probably running her own escort service under his nose.

He may be able to boot her out later if he can prove she lied on her visa application, ie was a whore, but I am no immigration law expert.

Snapper Keep us posted, and let us know when you three go on Jerry Springer. Make sure the CA cousin makes a startling guest appearance.

Take care,

Sluffy

Okay Snapper, time for another episode of this soap opera!

Not too much to add yet. except for the fact that they went on Tuesday to get her finger prints and to apply for her work visa.
I can't say what kind of work she is going to do without compromising my buddy's animinity(sp?).

She also hasn't gone to her "cousin's" yet, but she will in a couple days. They are planning to go to Magic Mountain. Sounds like a fun date-lol


-snapper-

Her cousin just showed up to pick her up. They stopped by my place and he interduced a girl to me saying that it is his girlfriend, so I think it's safe to say he is legit.

-snapper-

Well she's back from California now. She didn't get to go to Magic Mountain because of the weather, but says she had fun anyway. The most exciting thing happened to her since she move to the states.... she saw snow for the first time in her life, yippee. She made it seem like such a big deal.

I wonder how she feels about Christmas in Vegas, where for most people it is just another day because of being detached from their families, or having to work.

There is an event happening on January 1st that she wants my buddy to get off of work for. My buddy actually thinks he is going to get it off. Like most people in Vegas he works in the hospitality industry, and if I was his boss I'd laugh in his face if he asked me for the third busiest day of the year off. I gotta hand it to him if he pulls it off.

Merry Christmas everyone

15 days delayed

She told me today(while my buddy was on the shitter) that she is 15 days delayed. I just said "oh" as if I wasn't too sure about what she was talk'n about, and I'm not exactly sure, but the first thing I assumed was that my buddy could get the gift of child support. The gift that keeps on giving(for 18 years anyway).

My buddy had told me when he brought her here that he doesn't want to have kids for at least a year. In my buddies mind that means that she be getting knocked up right about now, and she'd give birth a year after she got here, not knock her up in a year.

I hope my assumption is incorrect.


-snapper-

Ok, my assumption was correct. When I was over there today I saw the pregnancy test sitting on their coffee table(unused of course). I don't know if she is pregnant or not though, and I don't think my buddy knows that I'm aware of the fact that they think she may be.

Anyway, maybe this is a good sign. Maybe this means that she is serious about the relationship. Do any of you guys have thoughts on this?

I only know of one guy that got a asian bride pregnant. She had two kids divorced him and moved to San Jose with the kids, and he's still has 12 more years of child support to pay. That girl was Taiwanese though if that makes any difference.

I have talked with my buddy about this child support issue before. He says that in the custody hearing he will reveal what she is planning to do for a living right now and use that as a means to gain custody. That is assuming that she goes through with her plans. His plan sounds logical enough except if the judge brings up the fact that he always had full knowledge of what she does for a living, therefor making him an equally bad parent.

That's it for now. I'll let you know if they reveal she is pregnant to me. Knowing my buddy though he won't say it until she start to show. Kinda like his first marriage, he didn't tell us till after he got married.

-snapper-

When did she visit that "cousin"...?

Looking from the post, about Dec 20th? 15 days late is the 31st?

NEVER trust a chick by herself just before her period, she's at her most fertile. I bet that's when she visited her "cousin". Studies show this is when women most likely cheat (check out some sites on socio-biology on this). They may not even be aware of it.

This girl is all set. She has her secret honey ("Man in the bush" as the Kalahari Bushmen put it) who gives her excitement, danger, romance; and the "man in the hut" ("Sucker" or "Sugar Daddy" as the American tribe calls it) to give the food, shelter, physical protection, and baby resources ($$$).

Wanna get scared? A study in Britain found 10% of MIDDLE CLASS families had one or more children that did not share their fathers' DNA. When Americans contest paternity results, the claimed father is NOT the father almost 1/3 (31%) of the time.

In California, a woman MUST name the father after birth. You have 60 days to contest it, after which you MUST pay child support FOREVER. Even if you get a paternity test, say, four or five months after the baby was born... tough luck. CA is not interested. If you don't pay, the state has to pay, and guess who the state wants to pay?
Some 60 something German guy was named by some chick from Compton as the father. He happened to have the same name as the man she listed. His wife divorced him, he must now pay child support till he literally dies. He even got a paternity test saying No way he was the dad, State said f*ck you, keep paying.

This is all based on a 500-year old English Common law... something like, unless a man is a sailor or can prove he was out of the country during conception, whoever the mom says is the dad, is the dad.

Get those Paternity Tests, mates! I had doubts about my g/f and made her get an abortion... I think for the first time in my life I acted like a toughguy with a woman and militantly hounded her until she did it. She was an Long Distance Relationship, and I had only seen her a few times when this happened, so my radar-set was beeping like mad.

This is in poor taste, but I'd rather kick a girl down the stairs by "accident" and pay a few thousand bucks and 6-mos of probation (no previous offences) than pay $100,000+ over my life and don't even know it's my kid.

Hey, why not give your friend some books on "Anthropology". Maybe some stuff will wake him up.
"Naked Ape" by Desmond Morris, or "The Third Chimpanzee" by Jared Diamond might work. Maybe you can get under his defences this way.

Good Luck, for him and for you!

Oh, after the baby is born, tell him to get a paternity test, but try to play up the DNA part (like, "It'll help to see if your kid will get any genetic diseases" or suchlike). I bet if he finds the baby isn't his, it'll really slap him awake, plus he won't have a hard time kicking her butt back to the phillipenes.

How can the state force a man to pay for child support when he is not biologically the father and solely because the woman named him as the father?

I would suppose many poor women could just name Donald Trump as the father and if he didn't protest it in 60 days he'd be legally liable then for 18 years? Come on, this makes no sense at all.

Bingo, you seem to be suffering from the delusion that the law makes sense. You need to get over that. ;)

The real question is, if one left CA, would they pursue the "father"? I know Arizona won't. Leave the state, and you're off the hook. And since this could easily be misconstrued - I'm not advocating that anyone abandon kids that really are theirs. But that California BS is just too much.

Snapper

This girl will use this as a way to keep him in the relationship. Tell him to get that DNA test!!

If she's from a bar then she's most likely trying to con him until she's a citizen. Your friend is officially screwed. At least it'll be easy to divorce her if the baby's not his!!

E

For the most part laws do make sense & are generally written for good cause. I find it difficult to believe that a mainly male dominated legislature in any state would pass a law permitting a woman to name a man as a father and if he doesn't contest it within 60 days he is deemed the father and therefore obligated to financial assistance whether he is the true father or not! Anything is possible but it so hard to believe! Care to print the law here for us which supports your claim? As I stated, this law could be severely abused by any impoverished woman who wanted to go after a rich man's assests and given that many legislators are quite rich, why would they pass such a law?

>>>I find it difficult to believe that a mainly male dominated legislature in any state would pass a law....

I find it difficult to believe that a testosterone dominated legislature would pass a law forbidding sexual relations - in private - between two consenting adults, money involved or not. Sure are a lot of them out there though.

As for the assertion that "For the most part laws do make sense & are generally written for good cause" - that may be true enough. But there are plenty of exceptions to the rule: http://www.dumblaws.com

And the original posting wasn't mine - I have no idea if what that poster stated is true or not.

I have no idea if there is such a law in California, but I do know, for a fact, that a woman is not and CAN NOT be required to name the father of her child. She is not required to name him on the birth certificate, and she is not required to declare who he is to the hospital.

If she does not name him, she may easily add his name to the birth certificate within 60 days. Beyond that his name can be added but it requires an official procedure of some type; perhaps a court order.

I suspect that the naming of the father being a requirement MAY BE related to the situation where the mother is asking for public funds, and is not married to the childs father. I am guessing on this, however.

I am a family attorney and deal with this topic quite often. With the issue of paternity: A woman can open up a case with child support services, with Family Court or Child Support Services will open up a case for her. Once the potential father is served with a Petition to Establish Parental Relationship, he has 30 days to respond. If he contests paternity and the test is negative, he's off the hook...period. If he is lazy and doesn't answer then a default judgment of paternity can be imposed against him. Although this is true, he does have an out-clause. He can later file a motion to set aside the default and it can be granted if paternity demonstrates he is not the father. Hope that solves the riddle.

Hello all!

Let me clarify some points I made:

The time window I forgot to mention, although I had thought it was 60 days. Again, this is a problem when you don't think your wife/gf is cheating on you at the time, but a year or two later when you have reason to be suspicious.

The German guy was recieved his paternity notice in the mail when he was in Germany visiting relatives; when he returned, the time had expired; default fatherhood was assumed. When he went to the court for relief, the court wouldn't even look at the paternity DNA test, and it was denied.

The 1996 Federal Welfare Act ("Welfare Reform Act") REQUIRES women to name the father when they apply for AFDC. I believe the constitutionality of this is being contested, but I'm not sure on the status of it. The Federal Welfare Act also requires that states identify more than 90% of paternity cases to get full federal funding (the result, California's law) ... women who refuse to name the father can still get AFDC, but their benefits are reduced by AT LEAST 25%. So there is an incentive to lie or make up a false name if they still want to collect the max while protecting the "real" dad.

Anyways, here are some news stories about paternity:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=article&node=&contentId=A21544-2002Oct13&notFound=true
http://www.4yobiz.com/paternityfraud/a451.pdf
(scroll down for highlighted text)
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/807576/posts
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2002-12-02-paternity-usat_x.htm
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/wnt/DailyNews/DNApaternity020802.html

I agree that it's unbelievable, but it is true.
The Child Welfare advocates and government incentives aren't really concerned about men or fatherhood, so an unjust law was born. The attitude is basically: "As long as someone pays, and preferrably not the State"

And the most unbelievable of the unbelievable:

SAN FRANCISCO EXAMINER 03-Dec-1996 Tuesday
By Erin McCormick

SAN FRANCISCO -- He was a "normal 15-year-old kid," with all the usual teen-age sexual passions.

She was his neighbor -- a 34-year-old mom, later convicted of statutory rape for engaging him in a romantic tryst that resulted in her getting pregnant.

However, in a case that turns the term "deadbeat dad" squarely on its ear, a California appeals court has ruled the young man from San Luis Obispo, identified only as "Nathaniel J." in court records, is responsible for paying child support for the baby born of the illegal union.

The Nov. 6 ruling by the 2nd District Court of Appeal in Los Angeles -- the first decision of its kind in California -- opens a Pandora's box of sticky societal questions, ranging from whether girls and boys should be treated differently in cases of statutory rape to the fairness of government's increasingly aggressive pursuit of child support payments.

"This is a really bizarre case," said University of California Berkeley social welfare Professor Mary Ann Mason, who specializes in societal legal issues. "It seems unfair that he was taken advantage of, and then he gets prosecuted for child support. He's considered a victim on one hand and a perpetrator on the other."

County and state authorities, rather than the mother, have pursued the case, seeking compensation for welfare payments the infant girl has been receiving since her birth in January 1995.

Attorneys from the state Attorney General's Office, which represented the state in the appeal, say the teenager should be responsible for the child because he indicated he was a willing sexual partner.

"Our point of view is that the newborn is the victim in these matters," said Carol Ann White, a lawyer who heads the attorney general's child support enforcement unit. "No matter what the circumstances of their conception, babies deserve to have two parents."

"And this was a consensual relationship," she added.

The youth, now 18, won't be required to pay until he has some kind of income, said Deputy Attorney General Mary Roth, who handled the case. "Say he makes $800 a month working at Burger King," Roth said. "He'll probably be expected to pay $200 a month to reimburse Aid to Families with Dependent Children."

Under state law, the boy's parents aren't responsible for child support for their granddaughter.

The case began in 1994, with a 2-week-long affair between the young boy and the unmarried woman, listed in court records as Ricci Jones.

According to court records, Jones and the teenager discussed having sex in advance and made a clear decision to do it. They had intercourse approximately five times, in what the boy later told police investigators was "a mutually agreeable act."

The teenager's attorney, Pat Perry of San Luis Obispo, didn't return calls. Neither Jones nor the teenager could be reached for comment. The case didn't become a court matter until after the pair's daughter was born on Jan. 20, 1995, and Jones began receiving welfare on the daughter's behalf.

Under federal guidelines, counties must make an effort to determine the identity of the father of any child on welfare and collect child support from him to offset the welfare payments.

That's exactly what San Luis Obispo County did.

As soon as county officials realized the baby's father was a minor, they filed statutory rape charges against Jones, which resulted in a conviction but no jail time. Almost simultaneously, they sought to have the young father registered as being responsible for child support.

After being ordered to pay by Superior Court, "Nathaniel J." and his parents appealed the decision, arguing that a child who was the victim of sexual exploitation by an adult shouldn't be penalized for the consequences of the exploitation.

But the appeals court disagreed.

"Victims have rights. Here, the victim also has responsibilities," said the opinion, written by Judge Arthur Gilbert. He cited cases from other states in which minors were deemed responsible for child support if they had consented to sex with an adult.

"We conclude he is liable for child support."

Clearly, said attorney Roth, if a teen-age boy got a teen-age girl pregnant, no one would question the state for holding him responsible. She said the teenager's testimony made it clear that he had known what he was doing and agreed to it.

"I guess he thought he was a man then," she said. "Now, he prefers to be considered a child."

But Fred Hayward, founder of the Sacramento-based group Men's Rights Inc., said the court was setting a horrible double standard.

"This is victimizing the victim," he said. "The law is based on the premise that a 15-year-old is too young to give his consent to anything. Yet he gets a 34-year-old woman pregnant, and suddenly he's old enough to be responsible."

As I suspected, the Mother is not and can not be required to disclose who the Father is - UNLESS she is spplying for public aid.

Damn is the government getting out of hand or what?

Blazers, thanks for that explaination. As you described it, it makes perfect sense to me and it's reasonable. I was getting the impression that any woman could name you or me as a father to her child and then we'd be responsible and that's just not fair. I do understand that she can still name you or me as the father but we have time to disprove her claim. You can't just have women getting pregnant and making up the names of fathers!

False Alarm

Apparently she got her period the same night she told me she was 15 days delayed. My buddy still didn't mention anything about this "false alarm" to me. I got this information from mutual friends. He probably knows I'd feed him shit for being a dumbshit and cumming inside this girl.

She had told my friends that she most have been so late because of when she went to California the weather was so much different. This got a laugh out of us because the weather in San Bernidino and Las Vegas is almost identical.

-snapper-

This is an email that my buddy forwarded to me. It was sent to him via a company that they wanted to buy a franchise in. I masked and reworded parts of it to protect their animinity(sp?).

I have been advised not to let ****** work to for us again. There have
been too many problems with the girls back there marrying men in the
states just to work and I cannot allow her to work for us. That is per
our owner.
Justine

My buddy sent this to my to see if I thought that this company could legally do this. I am no lawyer, but I told him since this company isn't based in the United States it would be too hard to do anything about it.

I just thought that it is funny that this Justine dropped a big hint to my buddy that these girls have ulterior motives besides finding the gringo of their dreams. He's still clueless.

My buddy was also planning on having her working by next week. I don't how she would be able to do this without a tax id numder yet. They don't think that they will have that for another 6 weeks.

-snapper-

Well, once she starts working, maybe she will start "working".

Bud