With Full Credit and wishes for the best of luck to DreamingEagle.

The Sweetie Pie thread really touched me because I happen to be going through a similar thing right now with a girl in Juárez. She worked in the MPs at first, which, strangely, did not bother me. I was a customer. She is 25. I am 51. I wanted to get an apartment, so she directed me to her own apartments, and I rented one and became her neighbor. For six months she has been coming down every Friday and Saturday night after work. We have had hundreds of good times at my kitchen table and spent countless hours consulting the dictionary and teaching each other our respective languages, and, of course, she has been my lover. She is a totally different lover with someone she loves, withholding nothing.

It began to bother me a little that a girl so bright and sweet natured had to support her three kids by being a whore. She should be in school, driving a decent car, and living in a decent apartment. But that's México.

She had followed her husband to Juárez, but he dumped her after the third child and took a job in Chicago. He met an American girl there. He never calls, never sends money, and these children are adorable. She always has them clean and in nice clothes. The oldest is 4, and the little man calls you "sigñor", because she wants her children to be "persones de educación buena" (persons of good manners). She was a ranch near Veracruz and likes to tell funny stories about working the animals. She can imitate anything from a chicken to a pig to a cow, and if you closed your eyes you would think you had one in the room with you. Yet she is also an educated person. She worked as a legal secretary in Juarez before the old man dumped her.

They live in a small one bedroom upstairs and all sleep on the same bed together, but the apartment is clean. I've only seen it once, because I could not bear to think of her living that way very often. Nor will I allow myself to be exposed to the children, because Rodolpho misses his rotten dad and is so needful of a man in his life that he will put his arms around you and try to kiss you on the cheek. I can't let those kids bond with me. I can't bond with those kids.

She told me she dreamed of the two of us in a house together one day, and I would want for nothing. I finally drummed it into her head that I was too old for her and that I did not want to raise a family. I want to buy a house in Juárez and retire in another year---just play with the girls as long as I can. Most importantly, I explained to her, I don't want to work and work all my life. I want OUT. Juárez is like destinies gift to me. I want to buy a cheap house, not work.

She finally seemed to understand.

I never gave her a single lie. She would find cards from the MPs laying on my kitchen table. And she kept coming back. She would cry sometimes after we made love, but she is a tough little cookie and I never worried about breaking her heart. She would find a new hope one day soon. We agreed to be special friends, always.

The weeks rolled on, and she was the highlight of my weekends. How can making love in a little room for 30 minutes or getting sucked on a massage table compare to hearing the footsteps of an equally beautiful young woman in your hallway, hear your door open, and turn to see her smiling at you as pretty as the Mona Lisa? No matter how hot the sex, I had that with her, too, and all the rest...

Well, nothing that good lasts forever, now does it?

Then began the surprises. For a whole week recently I thought she was pregnant, and the thought of my little baby up there on that bed with her and other children was unthinkable---my child growing up with no opportunity. The only thing I was sure of was that I would not run away from her. If that derailed my neat little plans, asi sea, so be it. She didn't ever yank that rubber off or scheme to get herself pregnant. It just happened.

I found myself getting highly irritated with all my friends telling me she had schemed to get me pregnant. Why must we assume anything anyone tells us in Mexico might be a lie or that all Mexicans are schemers. It is as unfair a perception as the once prevalent perception that the indigenous people here were savages, and how often I am reminded of "Dances With Wolves" when Kevin Costners character writes: "Everything I was told about these people is not true."

The next weekend I learned she had just been late, and I was ecstatic. Until I dropped by a bar in the zona the next afternoon and saw her sitting alone at the bar waiting for a customer. No more tranquil MPs. Now she was mixed up in an area where drugs were rampant, and, as you all know, not all of the customers are intelligent guys who know how to run a computer and post on forums. Some of them are the dregs of the fucking earth, and she would have to "suckie fuckie" with them now.

Two more weeks of agony, but, believe it or not, I finally accepted it. I would probably even have to read about other guys fucking her, maybe here or on some other forum; it would happen. Asi sea. So be it. She would be in my arms after work, because she wanted to be, not for money. And if I loved her enough, I would marry her and make those three kids mine, or I should just take it like a man and not complain. I decided to stay on board.

Yet something about her working in the zona vs. the MPs was still driving me nuts. I would have nightmares, could not sleep, and had trouble concentrating at work. How long before someone wanted to piss in her mouth for an extra $30? The only answer was NOT to see her. Back and forth this way, you see, in my mind. What man could take this? And I was *not* jealous. I was concerned about her being demeaned. She was too good for that, yet she had made this decision herself.

So I avoided her Wednesday and Thursday nights this past week. Perhaps it was better to just leave the door closed. When she door was closed, unless I called, she never bothered me anymore.

But I swung it wide open Friday, realizing I wanted to hold that girl right down to my DNA. She showed up, and it was perhaps the best sex ever, because we really know each other now. I'm 51 but still slender and virile and even have all my hair. People think I'm 40, but's all a facade. Father time catches up to you in the end, and I could not break this girl's heart, or mine, by marrying her. It was sad, but that's life. My sun was setting, and her's was rising.

You might think I would have hit the ceiling when she told me that an American guy had proposed marriage to her, was already sending her hundreds of dollars Western Union, and had arranged to pick up her and the children on New Year's night and take them to Florida.

But I didn't hit the ceiling. It was part of her plan. Meet an American in the zona. They hardly ever come to the MPs. Life finds a way...

I just stroked her face as she talked, and for the first time since I've known her there was a glow I had not seen before. For the first time since her husband had left her, I believe she finally had real, genuine hope that this nightmare of being a prostitute would end soon---that someone loved her, and her children, enough to really marry her and take her to the United States.

Well, whoever you are, my friend, you are about the smartest man alive, because this girl will never hurt you...you are getting just what you believe you are getting. I know. She is one of the strongest and most honorable people I have ever known. Ella nunca da me una mentira--no una--and I love her, too.

When she left at midnight to dismiss the señora who was watching the children I was filled with the strangest, yet beautiful, mixture of sadness and happiness which I have ever known. I am not a binge drinker, but this particular night one beer led to another and by four in the morning I had a perfect drunk going and was a state of total peace. This guy did sound good for her. He wanted the big family. He wanted it all, and he knew she was a whore. She had already started the paperwork. If all went according to plan, she would be packed and ready to go on the 31st.

Happy New Year.

She says he calls every single day to make sure she is still on board, so no tengo mucho tiempo...

Went to bed at 6 a.m. realizing loving her had put me through a lot of agony, but the agony is in the situation there---not in anything she had ever done to hurt me, for the only thing she had ever given me was love, a love I could not reciprocate. The situation was bigger than both of us, and I guess if I'm going through a little agony it's nothing compared to being born into that situation and having to cope with it and remain happy and optimistic as she has done.

"No mas prostituta...no mas hombre, hombre, pene, pene, suckie fuckie...*uno* hombre, el, y *una* mujer, yo...el y yo y mis niños en una casa feliz...mis niños con futuro buena en estados unidos...y yo, no mas mala...no mas mala...yo no mala, Ron...yo no mala," she had said, breaking into tears that shook her entire frame as I rocked her in my arms, whispering "Tu ares no mala...tu ares no mala..."

Whoever you are, please don't break her heart. Be her Prince Charming, for I cannot.

With full credit to Shy Guy.

I have a dream. . .

that a post like the one above with such beautiful sentiment can exist on a forum like clubhombre without being flamed, ridiculed, contradicted, or getting just plain asinine responses.

Please, hombres, make my dream come true.

Dreaming Shy Guy

That was an excellent piece. It brought a tear to my eye. Many people can't get past the idea of what these girls do for a living, and that is really too bad. Many(not all, of course) are wonderful ladies that are stuck in bad situations. Getting to know(really know, outside of work) certain special individuals has been a wonderful(sometimes painful) experience for me. I would have no qualms having an ex-hooker for my only woman if the circumstances were right. I am glad your friend has found Mr. Right. I wish them the best.

I've got my own sweetie pie going, but already it's not going well. I love her and the 5 kids (2-9).

But when she was fucking me for money, she treated me well. Now that I stay in her house for days & nights at a time, she never sleeps with me, and only ocasionally fucks me in a hotel.

But the paltry 150 bucks a week (but I also spend another 75 bucks a week on her - or more when I have it) that I give her can't possibly compensate her for her lost time at work. I DON'T understand this woman. The other day I asked her if we should just go back to doing it the hotel as a "merchant-client relationship" for the same money, and take up less of her time.

She asked me why did I say that, and I told her that was because she always ignores me.

I have more fun with her kids (at the park, etc.) than with her most of the time. What I don't understand is what's in it for her.... (this with the knowledge that her old man is in prison - she doesn't know I know this).

Comments anyone......

is this the same chick that was with victor?

Yes. But I stayed at her house Thursday (Thanksgiving) noon through Sunday afternoon and there was no Victor in sight. The push-pull of this woman drives me nuts...

Sr Pauncho;

$150/wk is what I figure is fair too... but you should find one that doesn't have any kids, and that will fuck you at least twice a day.

Try the smaller bars... the pros in AB and CC are total whores who can and will fuck many dudes and can make $150/hr. Some of the chicks in the smaller bars are inherently much lower volume, and will at least consider going for the $150/wk offer... tell them you'll buy them a car too(but don' pay over $500!).

...and - it really isn't too bad of a life for either of you.

You'll need a good amount of luck finding one without any kids, most of the time it's due to the financial stresses of supporting kids that drive the women into prostitution. The young chicas without kids really don't need to hook up with an overweight middle aged gringo, they don't have the financial responsibilities of trying to raise kids and are still mainly concerned with having fun and meeting a Ricky Martin lookalike. Try finding one with a single child, one is a manageable number. It takes a very special type of guy to deal with suddenly having a large family to support and raise..anyone who can do that has my total respect. I find it amusing when a monger writes that their in love and plan on marrying a chica when they've yet to met her kids, who are often back home living with the chicas parents. The have NO CLUE what they're in for, kids change everything.

Y'all need to go to Thailand

Hardly found any with kids

My girlfriend has a Master's Degree from a Mexican University(from the way she writes, I'd say it was about the equivalent of an Associate's Degree from a Junior College in the USA).

Once she'd finished her career as a professional student(something that I understand is even MORE popular in Mexico than in the USA), she was looking to make some quick bucks as a fichera(she was pulling in about $90/day, just on drink tickets alone).

I met her in Tejano/Valentina - and have been with her for about five years... but she's always threatening to leave me, because I'm married.

The first six months, she continued to work, but kept getting dizzy spells - so she HAD to quit. I figured the dizzy spells were caused by working in places with loud music for 12 hour shifts, 7 days a week, for a year.

The whole first year or two with her was pretty rough, but it has smoothed out since then... mainly because I refuse to drink with her... because it almost always ended up getting ugly, especially near the end of our combined drinking careers.

Now, she's got a regular job, and I've bought her a couple $500 cars(the first one got ripped off). We lived in a what was basically a shack for 3 1/2 years, and she saved the money I'd been giving her, and about a year ago she bought a house(no mortgage!).

So, what I'm trying to say is... yes, you can find a decent chick in ZN, if you try hard enough, and work long enough at it... but you've got to stay away from the pros at Adelita and Chicago Club. Go for the ficheras, dollar-a-dancers, or waitress chicks in the smaller bars - who might do a little hooking on the side, but which isn't their main occupation.

I still drink and go to the ZN occasionally, but mainly I just drink and play grab-ass & kissy-face with the ficheras.

"Once she'd finished her career as a professional student"

In Mexico they have a name for this.
She was probably studying La Licenciatura(B.A.) en Mientras Me Caso y el diplomado(graduate studies) en Mientras Agarro Marido.

I didn't see her this weekend. Didn't want to. Just kept the door closed Saturday night while there and went out until the bars closed. Didn't call her, and my phone did not ring. Missed her a little, but entertained myself with other girls.

A little distance can be a healthy thing sometimes...

It's Friday night, and I'm still here in Las Cruces, sitting here in my 5th wheel all alone with the my three cats wondering why I am not off to Juárez as usual. I'm home on the pretense I needed to prepare for my trip to San Jose Sunday afternoon, but those preparations were made Thursday night.

But I'm home because I don't want to face the dilemma of whether or not to leave my Juárez apartment door open for her tonight. If I do leave it open and she does not come, I lose. If she does come, I lose, because I won't be able to resist her at this stage and all this misery will just deepen. If I don't leave it open, I lose, because then I will wonder what would have been. Perhaps better to cauterize the wound with a weekend of absence.

Avoided her last weekend, or did she avoid me?

Are you a jealous person? I never thought of myself as a jealous person. But once I developed feelings for this girl, knowing she was in the whore bar in el centro started driving me crazy.

Her working in the MPs never bothered me. Something about the volume factor did it. Kissing a girl I knew perfectly well had sucked 10-15 dicks that same night! Uggggh! Yet I would kiss her. Her kisses are sweet.

And the internet factor...knowing I did not want to read about you (whoever you are) or one of the other posters fucking her. Some of them go into great detail, and even though she goes under a different name, I will know when that happens.

I mean, it's one thing to have an open relationship with a girl, knowing perfectly well she is seeing someone else also. I played that game for years right here in the states. It's another thing entirely to wonder when you are going to open up a detailed post about what it was like to fuck her, the little things she did and said---kind of like being strapped to a chair and made to watch a video of it.

You can say, well don't look, but anyone would look, because it's there---or will be soon---and if it's not there you find yourself looking for it obsessively night after night, on forum after monger forum.

Tonight a poster on another forum announced he is headed to the club where she works tonight. I know her schedule. I know his proclivity to show up early, right after dinner, before things get crowded. I know his style. He is the type who describes every little lick up and down the shaft. What if he picks her? I have three other favoritas there. I'd love to read a post about someone else fucking one of them, just to compare notes.

But not her.

What a wonderful situation I'm in here.

Jealous of a prostitute.

Don't love her enough to marry her. Don't think she would marry me now if I did----having had a taste of the big money and independence it brings being a hottie in el centro. Don't think she's going to marry that guy in Floria. She's going to take all that money he has sent her and say, "Lo siento mucho, pero no puedo. No tengo amor por usted."

She was a sweet girl when I met her. Working in the MPs is one thing. Now she is learning the ways of the hard-core girls in el centro. She's becoming a little schemer, I suspect. The girl in the post above. I think she is gone. Been seeing little changes in her demeanor. Last time she asked for money again, something she had not done in a long, long time.

So, here I am in L.C. hiding from a 25 year-old girl...jealous where I should not be jealous...disillusioned with what I perceive to be her fall from grace...wondering just how I am going to react to her when I see her next...knowing full well this is one of the stupidest predicaments I've *ever* allowed myself to get in.

Well, I'm certainly not going to let this drive me away from my apartment. We just may have to live in the same building indefinitely---kind of like a small town thing where you know everyone's business---including the business of that girl you used to love---and have to put up with all the gossip.

But, let's face it. Just showing up to take your medicine does not change the fact I've got a spine in my heart and that there just does not seem to be any good answers.

You can lead an examined life, be in touch with your own feelings, and bring to bear all the experience of a lifetime and still find yourself as thunderstuck and uncertain as you were with your first girlfriend as a teenager.

Kind of amazing really. Any form of definitive decision just illudes you. You are like a leaf which has fallen into the spring river, and if you do not act fast you will go where that current carries you...

I don't ask for advice very often, but I was impressed with the quality of responses I got on this forum. This is really a time when I wish some of you guys who have been through this kind of thing would just shake me tell me what you think I should do.

Anything to wake me up from this spell I'm under.

If anyone gives you an answer that works, let me know.

Sometimes I wish I was a drinker or a druggie...

DE,

If you look at our life time in the scope of eternity, The various episodes that occur can seem less important.

Don't lose focus of the big picture. If it's dragging you down, if it's making you feel bad cut it loose.

We don't have time to waste. There's too much good stuff going on. God knows I've paid my dues.
Hopefully we learn fom our mistakes.

Our attachments to pain or pleasure are foundation of the illusion that bewilders us,
ties a hard knot in our heart, and keeps us from knowing what to do and what not to do.

Just let go you won't be sorry. IMHO

DE

have looked for a post by you to understand your stuation but can not find..

but it would seem that you are in love and having a conflict because she is a working chica..
I wish that there would be some simple words that I could say that would ease your mind but I have not found any that will work for me..

Have had the same feelins for seven different chicas in the last two years.. six of them were working chicas so I do know the feelings.. One I was real serious about and have spent maybe 25 days with in the last year.. Considered marriage even.. But I did a lot of soul searching and realised that I just could not handle a marriage type relationship with a working chica.. I am just too much of a jealous person.. Still trying to figure out what type of relationship to have with her.. If you run around with just working chicas, of course you will have strong feelings for one sooner or later.. For me it seems that I have to block my feelings at a certain point.. This last time with Daryl that seems to have worked..
If you really have the need to fall in love and have a marriage type relationship then you need to hang with non-working chicas,, Each trip to Cartagena I tell myself that this trip, I wil spend time with the type of chica that I can marry.. Sooner or later, I wil fall for one. Of course it never turns out that way.. I decide to play around for a couple of days first then hang with the good chicas.. And I fall for yet another working chica.. I guess in a way I like the "honesty" of paying for love.. And how easy it is..
A female friend of mine once told me that the easiest way to get over a broken love affair is to have an affair with a new love.. I guess you could try that.. But for me it always seems like the only thing that really works is time.. As time passes by so does the hurt feelings..

treeshark

Funny, no pain after not seeing her for two weeks.

Then came the knock on the door Saturday night.

I was ready, or was I?

She was tired and not sure I would ever let her in, and, my God, the warmth of that long, long hug we enjoyed.

It was as though all that jealous torment had left me, and there was just her.

And she knew things were different now, too.

Just glad to be back in my house again.

She never felt so warm in my arms.

Then, looking over the papers she was filling out for entry into the United States. She has an engagement ring now. This shit is real now. This guy is really coming for her, and I pray to god he never reads any of these posts. If he does, I want him to know that she is equally serious and is a little afraid but very much looking forward to being married to him. No more whoring.

It really never suited her, and, if he should be reading, I was always more of a friend that a lover.

Her eyes drooping by 2 a.m. Not sleepy myself but taking her to bed, so she would fall asleep. Cuddling like two spoons in the kitchen drawer. Finally disconnecting so she can sleep without any contact, the covers wrapped tightly around her.

Watching her sleep a while. What a lovely girl. Will she really escape? I would miss her, but I'd already worked through all of those feelings. She's already gone. Just this one final night, maybe on or two more, and then she will be gone.

I hope. I pray he's not full of shit and really comes. Don't want to see her fall apart on me. Or would she? She's so damn tough inside. The lovely face of youth in peaceful slumber. Slipping quietly out of bed for a couple more beers in the kitchen by the light of the refrigerator door, thinking about the nature of relationships.

They are not always what you wish them to be, and sometimes you go up and down like a roller coaster between pain and pleasure. But one thing was for sure: you don't get to moments like this by running off and avoiding them to salvage your little ego.

I had avoided her for two weeks. She knew that and said she understood. She was afraid I would not let her back in.

She leaves at 7 and returns at noon and cooks me my favorite meal, melinesa de res, kind of like a small chicken fried steak. Had asked her for the recipe, but instead she had left and returned with all she needed and cooks it for me again. I know how now.

Makes the sign of the cross as she is leaving, then does something across my face with her fingers and kisses me goodbye.

So many laughs and so much warmth and goodness I would have missed out on had I followed the cynical part of my heart which said simply not to even open the door. But my heart is big enough to accept the realities involved here, and I after she cooked me that great lunch and returned to her apartment I lay down for a long nap with a feeling of total peace----that, strange as it may sound, and impossible as it would be to explain to other Americans, that this entire situation sat in the Creator's eyes as both natural and good for both of us. God knows, I needed a lover like her, and she needed a friend.

I could not be more at peace at the moment, but I will not have that lasting sense of peace regarding her until her new husband actually has come for her as he promises he will do and she is actually is in Florida and they actually are married and my friend actually is---at last---a citizen of these great United States of America.

She deserves to be here.

Only then can I say: Mi corazón es contigo siempre, amiga.

Until then there is only her struggle.

Read this last night DE, and couldn't bring myself to respond.

I wish I had the kind of strength you have.

I wish you both the best.

Vias con Dios.

I thank you for your comments, Curious, but it's not strength. It's just life, man. At 51, my sun is setting, and her's is rising. I'm not going to fuck things up by trying to mix a setting and rising sun. That's the mistake a lot of older guys make when a younger woman falls for them. But you can't mix it up, or someone really gets hurt. Let her go. Let her be disappointed, and I'll comfort her. But I'll never lose sight of the reasons we cannot be together, and I'll never lose sight of the reasons why we can bond in a different way...

What I really want is for that asshole from Florida to show up and whisk her away!

Fly, Lyly, fly!

That's what I really want.

And I have to ask....

How do you know that you and she, together, wouldn't spend the next few years being happier than either of you ever can (or will) be any other way?

Isn't that a chance we have to take?

Isn't the highest high worth the potential (or even probable) low that may follow?

Isn't that a question that will haunt you forever?

Is this just because of your ages, or?

Just
Curious

DE,

Just discovered this thread. And I'm very glad I did. I really don't have much to add to the discussion, but let me say that I thank you for sharing both your excellent writing style and the obvious deep emotions you're experiencing.

I wanted to say something that would help at this point. As a matter of fact I have written and rewritten several paragraphs a half a dozen times. But everything I write is either presumptuous or trite. Not worthy of your post. So I'll just say thank you again, and I hope that whatever happens, you find some inner peace.

I'll be sure to check back here often, as you have struck a chord in myself that has many of the same elements.

Well, Curious, I have been down that road with three young American women in my forties. I loved each one of them in ways I never imagined I could love anyone, and I'm sure they loved me. But being twenty-something and being fifty-something---no matter how good the sex or how the two of you click conversationally---are two different things. All three of these girls and I managed to work through this by talking about it and remaining friends. In all three cases, we finally just got kind of drunk together one night, had long funny conversations, and realized it was just never going to work no matter how much we loved each other! In case case it ended with making love and big hugs, not shouting and angry feelings.

In some ways the love between an older man and young woman is deeper than any other kind of love. All that tempestuous arguing and making up again I remember from my youth is simply not present. You really talk and work through things. But in the end, the rising sun is a different animal than the setting sun, with different priorities and dreams.

In bygone days the Sioux had a society of Elk Dreamers which was a warrior society which never married. Instead the families of the tribe would present their young daughters to these men to be taught the ways of love and how to win the heart of the one they wished to marry. Also, should her husband ever be killed, she could always return to her Elk Dreamer for protection and food for her children until she found another one.

As one can imagine, this was a heavy duty for the Elk Dreamer to carry. Many men simply could not carry the burden, gave up their vows, and married one woman, which they were free to do with no dishonor. The ones who could carry the burden were highly esteemed men.

My neighbor still wants to see the world and conquer it. She is like a young eagle at the cliff's edge, sure she can soar, but she hasn't yet. So in her boundless energy she continutes to look into the abyss, then withdraw, and come strutting back again for another look.

It is always amusing to see them doubt themselves this way. They do not know it, but it is just a dance they must do before they make the plunge.

But one day, my friend, the eagle always flies, so it's better to be the one who smiles at the sight of the wind catching her wings for the first time and bids her fond farewell than to be the one who points to a gilded cage and tells her she will be happy there.

Then at least you always have her love, and when the skies of life become cold her mind will return to the warm fire that you have become in her heart.

It keeps everything which ends from meaning nothing.

This is what works for me, so, for good or ill, I'm in for a penny and in for a pound with this one. And, considering the weight of the burden, you'd better believe not just any hot young piece of ass qualifies...

I don't see the difference in age as being that big a deal. I've always felt maturity was more a state of mind then a birth date. If two people are really in love age shouldn't be a factor. My "current" wife is 23 years younger than me, maybe it will last, maybe it won't. There's never any guarantees regardless of the woman's age. Besides being her lover and best friend you can also to a large degree be her mentor and teacher. I've been able to steer my wife back towards getting her education and learning skills that will insure she doesn't spend the rest of her life cleaning peoples homes or having sex with strangers. While at 20 your typical gringa is still a child and basically just wants to party, many of the young Mexicanas I've lived with are much more grounded and wise well beyond their years. The main problem I can see in your case is all her kids. Keeping up with a single younger woman is a piece of cake compared to the energy required to raise a number of kids.

Who knows, this guy from Florida could turn out to be older than you, maybe the gal just likes older men.

You are so right about the kids...any time I even find myself thinking about anything serious with her, that one factor always freezes me in my tracks. The FL guy is only 37, though. He says he really wants the instant family. Sure hope he shows up.

Hey DreamingEagle, What was the final outcome on your story above? Did she go to florida?

They got married in March and are waiting on the papers to move her and the kids to the states. So far, so good. She is still a great friend and visits often when he is not there but on a purely plautonic basic, which is problematic enough to suit me. Last weekend I helped her catch up on her errands in my car, and every time she and the kids got out one of the neighbors was watching. I don't want to do anything to mess this situation up for her. They are having a big re-marriage in her home town this summer. It's going to be a huge wedding. I keep my fingers crossed this will all work out for her.