This thread is running in danger of being forced into archive hell....so I wanted to perpetuate it here. Please contribute..one and all!

It all started when Jaime posted...

I had a vision last night, so although i'm not 100% *sure* of the following, this is what i saw:
The father is Explorer, and the boy will be named Explorador Jr. He will be extremely bright, and will begin talking and giving opinions at 2 weeks of age. SP will find his opinions somewhat annoying and will wrap the infant in a warm blanket and leave it at the doorstep of the large church on Ninos Heroes.

The nuns will joyfully accept the abandoned child, but will soon find his brash opinions on Catholicism annoying and decide they don't want him anymore. They keep the warm blanket and leave the child on the streets, where it is miraculously nurtured by a pack of street dogs. After one week, the dogs begin to get annoyed by the opinions of child and decide to ...

I replied with...

….give Exploder Jr. back to the nuns. The nuns, being nuns, had no choice but to take the little tyke back ….but the incessant questions and opinions still drove them nuts. They prayed for help, but alas word of Jr’s proclivities had reached even the great heavens and their prayers came back “Return to Sender, Address Unknown”…so they thought they were stuck for at least 18 years of damnation…no doubt to atone for some horrible sin they must have committed.
They lasted two weeks but were at the end of their ropes and threatening to leave the church and get jobs at the Unicornio.

The Almighty, feeling somewhat benevolent , came to their rescue. Explorer himself came running down the street with several large Kinkleites in hot pursuit. Explorer ducked into the nunnery for sanctuary. As he slammed the door behind him he could hear the clip clop clip clop of the Kinkleites jogging by, he was safe!

The nuns looked at Explorer and immediately saw the resemblance to the little tyke they had been saddled with. Before Explorer could open his mouth Jr looked at him and screamed “Jacuzzi”. It was a touching moment.

The nuns overjoyed at their redemption then handed Jr to Explorer and shoved them out the door……..

To be continued by the next monger!

Strangelove rose to the challenge with....

The unification between Explorer and Exploder Jr. didn’t last long, as the city of Tijuana declared the father "unfit", after he was found raising the infant in a jacuzzi room of Cascadas and feeding him with cheesplates from Tropical.
Nuns had to take him back, but Exploder Jr.’s challenge to Catholicism grew stronger. This time, he claimed that the impression of Lady Guadalupe was not a miracle, but somebody had painted it on the robe. Nuns threw him away on the street.

A band of sisters, Araceli, Rosa Marie, and Monica, decided that they wanted to give back to their patron saint, Explorer, and established the trust fund in the name of Exploder Jr.

Exploder Jr. grew into a handsome young man and developed a teflon-like dignity. He attracted countless chicas on TJ streets by writing poems. However, he didn't have money. One day, he was notified the death of his father. Nobody understood how, but Explorer contracted the Russian strain of Chlamydia that killed him.

On the same day, Exploder Jr. was visited by a high-power attorny Peri Mason Vazquez, aka Mexican Ally McBeal. She told him, she had a personal friend, an old American man, who liked to financially support him from that time on. The man wanted to remain anoymus, except he had only one wish for him "Young man. Go to Stanford"…...continued

Next?

Explorer Jr. had other plans, however. As a child, he had vowed vengeance on the evil Father Diego, who had poisoned the minds of the nuns against him. He knew that he was only a pawn of the antichrist trinity; Westfargo, Whorehound, and the unmentionable one, but it was upon the loathsome Father Diego that his hatred was focused. With the help of the still sympathetic Tanya, the Mother Superior, he concocted a plan to rid Tijuana of this evil. It would be risky, relying as it did on the always unpredictable Chino Loco and the Father's inordinate fondness for the alter boy from Texas, Mike. Still, with a little luck, it might succeed. The only unknown was his old maestro. Upon which side would that cantankerous old man focus his venom, which could be as dangerous and enveloping as an Iron Maiden? Maybe the king of TJ would have advice...

So one day young Explorer was wandering the streets of Tijuana, his mind full of plans to eliminate the evil that lurked, ever-present but unseen, over the fair city. Suddenly, a mysterious, ethereal presence appeared in front of him. Explorer Jr. rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was dreaming, hallucinating, or if he had indulged in a few too many tequilas at Unicornio. But the old gentleman, clad in a dark brown hooded robe, spoke: "You, my son, are the chosen one."

The young man stammered, "Ummmmm... what do you mean? Who are you?"

"Never mind about that. Follow me."

"Where are we going?"

The stranger replied, "We must first pay homage at the Altar of St. Adelita."

Explorer Jr. followed the stranger past the dark curtains and up the stairs. He had heard of this place, but had never dared to enter. "Is this a nunnery?" he asked.

"Yes," came the reply. "This is where Mother Superior Tanya, the Abbess Candi and the dozens of other residents counsel lost souls."

"Counsel them?" E. replied inquisitively.

"They offer thirty-minute sessions. Sometimes, if an acolyte is of unusually good moral fiber, they last longer. Exactly what happens in these sessions is unclear, but the proceedings are often described with mysterious acronyms such as BBBJ, GFE, DATY and BBTFTC."

He led young E. to an altar at the end of the hall. They knelt in silent prayer for a minute, then the stranger spoke.

"On such a solemn occsion, it is customary to leave an offering."

E Jr. produced a small stuffed Tweety Bird from his pocket, and laid it on the altar. "A most appropriate gift, my son," the old man intoned. "The residents seem to have a particular affinity for this creature."

They descended the stairs and ventured out into the street. The stranger led young Explorer across the road. In front of the establishment known as Tropical Bar, a disk-shaped metallic object suddenly flew out the door and struck E Jr. in the head, briefly knocking him unconscious.

When he came to, he found the old man standing over him. "Was that a communion plate that hit me? And are those hosts?" he asked, pointing at the yellow and white morsels scattered all over the sidewalk.

"No, my son. Those are bits of cheese, and you were hit by a dreaded Cheeseplate. They are the embodiment of Evil."

E Jr. shook his head, getting rid of the cobwebs. Then at once, he was struck with a sudden clarity of mind. "I've been enlightened!" he exclaimed.

"Yes," the old man responded. "You now have the knowledge to carry out your mission. You encountered Evil, and lived to tell about it."

Suddenly, little E's eyes found the dreaded Kinkle Bar, where a few Kinkleites were cavorting outside. His eyes narrowed, and his forehead wrinkled with anger. "That building..."

The old man continued his sentence. "...is yet another place where Evil lurks in this town. All who enter that vile establishment...regret it in the end."

Meanwhile, back at Adelitas...

Three curiously dressed men are engaged in a conversation with the doorman. It appears that they are in search of someone or something.

"My name is Bill," one man said to the doorkeeper. "I have traveled all the way from a small, remote village named Reading. We have heard tell of an Anointed One, and I come to give him the gift of gold. He will appreciate this, I'm sure, because he is no doubt a thrifty individual, being his father's son."

The second traveler stepped forward. "Likewise, I have come from the Far Side of the country. I have brought frankincense for the Chosen One."

Lastly, the third man spoke up. "I am yet another Out-of-Towner, and the gift I have brought is myrrh."

Bill then proclaimed, "We are the Three Wise Men from the East. We come here primarily to intermingle intimately with the female inhabitants of this exotic town. We also enjoy writing long, emotionally charged accounts of our journey. But as long as we're here, we may as well unload this garbage on that poor chosen boy."

The doorman pointed toward Tropical. In heavily accented English, he said, "I saw him go that way, with a man dressed like a friar."

The three travelers looked inside Adelitas, and decided that at least this time, business had to come before pleasure. They headed down the street in search of Explorer Jr.

The 3 wisemen stared their search near Kinkle bar and after swating off a few jotos, one wiseman(bill) who had been knocked to the ground, looked up to see a bright star in the sky. Bill being wise said "if we follow that star we will find our little hero nino Exploder".

So they started up the hill on Calle Ninos Hero andabout 3 blocks later they discovered it wasn't a star they had been following, but a strange looking silver arch with a clock hanging down and which they had mistaken for a star.

The 3 wise men whio had been drinking smuggled in Iron Ciy beer since early that morning starting laughing their asses off about the "Arc de Tramp"
as they had thought it was the star of the East. They were LOL when this little smartass nino walks up and asks if they would like to get laid for $20? The wiseguys immediately said yes andeach pulled out a $20. The little nino, soon to be recognized as Exploder, said in a snarl "are you guys out of your fucking minds?" "Its $20 todo for all 3 of you wisemen, not $20 a piece!!!!

With that said, the 3 wisemen realize that they had by total accident, discovered nino Exploder. They were so surprised, that when the little bastard snatched a $20 from Wiseman Farsider and took off running with his money, he reacted so slowly that they didn't catch him until he had reached 7th street and were standing in front of the now enfamous Unicornio. The three wisemen, breathless from their run, noticed a