Subtopic	Posts		Updated
	Archive 01	50		2004/05/12, 07:04 am
	Archive 02	50		2004/05/24, 08:52 am
	Archive 03	50		2004/06/01, 10:37 am
	Archive 04	50		2004/06/03, 08:53 am

"Currently I am paying for sex with all three"

DG-Are you really having sex with the wifey or was that Freudian?

Now that I think about the CPL with my ex and what it cost me for the divorce, division of assets, alimony and child support and the fact we rarely had sex in the last 5 years of marriage, I would suspect it is in the 10K CPL range.

I am getting sad thinking about how many garotas I could have with that amount of money...boo hoo!

7 line response from Mitch-Hombre, mark the day in CH history!

Hombre, Turk needs to go. He's been badmouthing my favorite Hong Kong hooker, Sha Ching, for weeks now, and I'm starting to get pissed.

And, as my 3 year old nephew would say, Turk is a doody-head.

NOOOOO!!! Please dont boot Turk. THat would be a huge mistake. He is extremely valuable to this board. You couldnt buy this sort of entertainment. As a matter of fact, we should pay him to stay (would that make him a "Puto" in Turkish?)

Hahahaha.. I've got tears of laughter in my eyes stil, but I have to agree with GCL, Turd555 is definetly a valuable memeber of this forum. You can't BUY this type of humour, it comes from deep within his twisted pscyhe.

Or, it might be something about Cristianne. I hereby volunteer to travel to deepest Mato Grosso and find our plain-jain princess. Maybe she has some kind of braintdeath-suppository up her ass which causes Turd555 to spew off his unique bits of wisdom every time he backdoors her... or does she dildo HIS fudgehole? so many mysteries. I gotta get me some of this Campo Grande puta's bunda, obviously I'm risking permanent brain-damage, but what a head-rush!

BS

Wow, this Turk as entertainment is really getting overhyped. I guess we will need to show patience until one of Westfargo's uncountable number of illegitamite sons is old to enough to start whoring and posting on here. Now Westfargo, that was entertainment and all other imitators and wannabes (Kid Cisco, Turk, Milkdud etc.) pale in his shadow.

RIP Westfargo, and thanks for all the useful advice about flashlights.

Here's the latest PM missive from our friend Turk (follows). Poor lad has zero sense of humor. Since this little note has no humor value at all, I'm now a member of the school that believes that Turk is a real person, not an alter-ego of one of our more clever colleagues. Granted, Turk appears to be a tad dull and totally humorless, but maybe he's real. If so, somebody (maybe Turk) needs to explain to us what the hell he is doing on a board totally devoted to the sport of mongering if he's so vehemently opposed to our raison d'etre? Wouldn't his time be better spent chatting with his friends over on the Traditional Values Coalition website? Seems like our young friend got confused and joined the wrong community...

BTW, Turk, my feelings are hurt. No one's ever called me an asshole before.


Thu 06/03/04 8:43 am

TO
Bwana_Dik

FROM
Turk5555

SUBJECT
Regarding my namorada

MESSAGE
Dear dickhead,

You have crossed the line. Please don't ever insult my namorada again.

Insulting me or my namorada is something you definitely do not want to do on a regular basis. I have only insulted you in response.

Get yourself a life besides mongering. I hope this will be the last of this from you.

Asshole.

Turk

Turk,
PS. Christiane wears combat boots.

Hahahahha.

Turk... I am not trying to insult so please dont take it that way. It is entirely possible Cristiane WANTS to do bukakke. In the off-chance she does, please ask her for me.

And...would a "scat" session with Mitch be out of the question?

Thats it. I'm out of kleenix and having to use my shirtsleeve to wipe the tears away.

Comeon Rick (not real name) reveal your side of this story. It's gotta be a doozie!

I'm going to the store for more kleenix right now!

Where is are dear departed friend Bull Winkle when we need him? I would love to see one of his responses to a thread like this!

Cat...funny you mention Bullwinkle cause I have been wondering if Turk could be him.

Ya know, Mitchie has been posting under his 'real' name long enough. I think that as the board swells with unstable newcomers (Turk, Kidsicso, GCL to name a few...), Mitchie needs to consider a new handle.

When choosing a pseudonym, one should begin by determining the one or two characteristics that best define the member. So let's consider what we all know about Mitchie... hmmm... how about:

Scat-her-boned
TheAnalAvenger
TheDooRagRipper
TheTurdSplicer
or my personal favorite
Shavvy Impaler

Anyways, just a thought. Now we can all get back to crucifying those who don't concur with our beliefs

Oh and Sandman, I didn't say I was having sex with all three (wife/Girlfriend/prostitutes), I merely said I was paying for sex with all three. It adds up too. I just hope that alimony doesn't cut too deeply into my splooge fund, or I'll be relegated to auto-erotica for the rest of my miserablelifeintheUSA.

Don't forget about Layne.

Bwana Dik,

I knew that you would post my email on my Relacionamento Serio topic, because you are a puto. No surprise there. Just like that other mosca GCL. You are worse than some women I know who talk and spread gossip. You can't keep your mouth shut.

As far as I am concerned you are as low as a human being can go, down in the gutter, licking infected buceta and cornballing chicas after GCL and Roadglide had their turns and probably before she cleaned up. No class, all ass. I bet all the chias you screw would prefer to look the other way. You are a totally lost fool who gets lost if you wander two blocks off of Avenida Atlantica.

I can just imagine you walking west and just pas Nosta Senhora da Copacabana and wondering to yourself, gee, there are no termas back here, better back to MP and get some directions.

On your way back you realize you are lost and end up on the metro to Centro where your chica favorita works. You hang around some slimy bar with your pals GCL and Roadglide hoping it were 3:00 p.m. After about half a dozen chopps GCL and Roadglide drag your disoriented body down to the Terma 99 where you discover they have increased their entry fee. You have a fit over a lousey $R10,00. But, you pay the damn thing. You and your two sidekicks enter the Terma and are issued some disgusting looking robes and told to, "Sehnores, oma um banho primeiro".

After hanging around Terma 99 you are really disappointed that all the really good looking chicas, mostly 7's and 8's are busy with GCL and Roadglide. They didn't want anything to do with you.

You finally end up with a mulata garota from one of the favellas. This is all you could get and you are glad to pay the $R250,00 because you were so damn ugly.

If you had any balls at all you would post your picture and show us hombres what a real man you are. I am dying to see what you look like.

I will bet that you are one ugly monger. You can only get 5's and 6's and negras you have to pay them extra Reals to get them in the cabine.

When ever I hear low prices like the ones you quoted in your earlier post, I know that you won't admit it, but you probably paid at least twice that and after you begged them to take you into the cabine.

The rest of you moscas have nothing better to do than to loiter around this topic and ridicule and mock me, my namorada and poor Gilda. I regret that I ever even mentioned her name.

I will leave a few more cow pies for you to play in and enjoy yourself. I am sure that when I return that your droppings will be everywhere.

In closing,



Cha Shing, Cha Shing

This guy is really self-destructing. I hope he is smart enough (although I doubt it) to use single blades rather than Mach 3's when he gets to that point.

Does anyone notice a bias against mulatas and "negras", or is it just me?? I believe Turk has revealed himself to be a racist.

He says, "You finally end up with a mulata garota from one of the favellas. This is all you could get..."

Guess it never occured to him there might be people who WANT mulatas. What an ass. I love this better then everyone else attitude.

To top it off he is convinced Bwana Dik doesnt know his way around. Well, I am not a fan of Bwana Dik, after all, he is a degenerate and not the sort of person you want to take home to the family for sure--but he WROTE THE BOOK ON RIO.

Okay, guess I am singing to the choir here so I will shut up.

Turk, you keep looking sillier and sillier. Please keep up the good work. This is really good stuff.

Wow tosed into the same group of mongers as GCL and Bwana Dik. My feelings are so hurt.

Thanks Turdy

Obviously Turd has some issues.
It seems to me with Turd's repeated comments about feces in different forms he may be a latent coprophiliac as well. Even his handle Turd5555 would support this theory.

Yah; I think Turdy does have quite a few issues.

It makes you wonder if he forgot his medication on the short bus. Turk you do know what the short bus is...Right?

To the Moscas,

I figured it would not take too long for me to find more mosca droppings in Relacionamento Serio.

You moscas congregate in swarms. Once one dips his beak in RS the others come around to see what's there. And apparently you moscas have taken a liking to my brand of shit I have laid out for you.

Having looked at the Terma topics, I can see why. It's dead over there. Maybe because it is off season and not as many mongers are visiting Rio this time of year.

If it wasn't for the low season I would not even be hearing from you moscas. You would all be chatting away like aunt mabel and matilda, writing about your latest monger escapades complete with cabine pics of your favorite chica in some filthy position.

If Gilda knew that I had used Hombre.com to find her an American namorado and ended up with a bunch of moscas, she would probably kill me.

I don't know what got into me. I actually thought that I was doing you mongers a favor. And a few of you, a very small minority actually did respond and were sincere enough to take it to the other level.

However, once the moscas showed up they screwed it up for everybody else. I was going to introduce you to Cristiane's older sister. She is separated from her esposo who left her for a chica, probably some Terma garota. A really nice lady too. With two filhos to keep you company. ha,ha.

But, I shudder at the thought of a second introduction. I can just see GCl and Bwana Dik fantasising about DPing her in front of her filhos or something really degenerate and depraved.

I think I have made it clear as mud that you are not wanted in Relacionamento Serio. This is the only topic that kicks ass right now. And you guys made it Numero Uno. Now you can leave.

In closing,


Cha Shing, Cha Shing

Roadglide,

Please by all means tell me what a short bus is.

But let me guess....it wouldn't have something to do with your equipment does it?

You might want to check this out and learn something.

http://www.shortbusbordello.com/

I don't even know what I am even bothering respond to your mosca droppings.

IN closing,


Cha Shing, Cha Ching

I would have intervened sooner if I had not been on a consulting project, but due to working closely with my clients and therefore limited time and access, I've left moderation tasks to my administrators with instructions to not moderate anything not blatently illegal and to contact me if anything serious came up. It's unfortunate that I had to be interrupted regarding this thread which is ridiculous given the subject matter of ClubHombre.

Part of the problem has been suspended at the very least until the completion of this project. I will confirm now that wishing death upon members goes against the rules and spirit of the ClubHombre community.

I'll leave this thread open for now, but my assistant or a moderator may close it at any time. In other words, comments are still allowed, but you all would be doing me a favor by just moving on to on-topic discussions.

I would like to reserve the right to wish death upon anyone who overuses emoticons. I would also like to preserve my right to wish death upon anyone who has more money than me and to those who disagree with me on religion, sports or politics.

Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I'll move on to other discussions.

WTS (not the real Rick)

I want Turk back.

There, I said it.

Dont kill his membership. He is funny, even if he isnt trying to be. We need Turk.

We want Turk - We want Turk ..........

Congratulations GCL, you've finally proved to the entire membership you are not Turk5555, since you are still posting and Turk5555 is not. Of course, anyone who read the report of my extremely insightful investigation and analysis of the Turk situation above would have reached the same conclusion much earlier, making your most recent post superfluous.

Does the rule against wishing death upon members of this board also apply to wishing death upon ex-members of this board?


Disclaimer: the above is a lame attempt at humor, and is not to be taken seriously. I will now move back to on-topic posts.

As we are getting ready to bring in the New Year, I have become a bit nostalgic and have been reminiscing about years gone by.

I only wish I knew where Turk5555 was these days so I could wish him a Happy New Year along with a Happy Bukkake to his girlfriend (see the above thread for a few laughs, but make sure to start with Archive I). But I am afraid Turk is long gone and I doubt even Turk knows anymore where Christiane is. So, I guess I'll just have to be content to wish a Happy New Year to everyone else.

Happy New Year!


(Message edited by Laguy on December 30, 2009)

Turk5555 is still out there in cyberspace. Contact him. Invite him back.

Reading back through some of these old posts, I definitely think that the board reached it's peak in the 2004 time-frame. About when mongering in general reached it's peak. Due to inflation and the weak dollar since about then, it's been all downhill. And, as far as posting quality goes, by 2004 most places had been pretty-well "discovered". No new worlds have been discovered since, maybe Medellin but it was covered decently by 2004. The big wave of newness that was Rio had crested, AC and Pattaya were infiltrated/infested with mongers by then. Europe was already priced out of most of our budgets. Stuff like that.

Simply put, there aren't too many "new" places anymore and the new guys coming on the scene don't have the same panache as the old guys who proceeded them. No new places to write about + lesser characters with inferior writing = a pretty boring board at times.

What will be new in our futures? Will the dollar get strong again anytime soon and places Eastern Europe become a good option again? Will a new cool spot in South America be opened up, like Montevideo or Santiago? Will Saigon get it's swagger back as the Vietnamese economy grows and continues to open back to the world? Or, will some other place in Asia become the new Angeles or the new Pattaya?

We need new worlds to visit and better guys to write informative and funny shit about those worlds. Until then, we'll have to make do with re-reading past threads. WestFargo, KidCisco, Turk5555 - stuff that was funny and confusing then and is still just as funny and confusing today.

Bwana: I seriously would consider contacting Turk to invite him back IF YOU HADN'T PROVOKED HIM INTO WISHING YOUR DEATH AND THEREBY GETTING HIMSELF PERMANENTLY BANNED!!

Let's resolve not to make similar errors in the New Year and to treat all trolls, general nuisances, a**holes, riffraff, dimwits, and other inadvertent entertainers with all the respect they truly deserve.

(Message edited by Laguy on December 31, 2009)

OK, LAguy, but our contemporary trolls pale in comparison to Turk5555. None of them are even worth keeping around. They don't provide any entertainment value at all! I mean, is there anything of interest in any of Beachman's posts? First off, he hasn't posted in over a month, and he hasn't posted about anything dealing with sex (or relationships) in over five fucking years! His political blathering is just that...B-O-R-I-N-G.

So, if we must. let's appeal to the powers that be and see if Turk5555 can be reinstated. I've forgiven his desire to see me dead.

What a New Years Day 2010 morning walk down memory lane with one of our former quintessential members of our community.

Thanks and Happy New Years to all.

I am still laughing at the re-read!