Well as usual I ran late. I am typing this on the plane—finally got out of Rio on my way to Badland’s National Park near Rapid City, SD in search of some exotic American Indian babes from the Oglala Souix tribe. But I might consider even one of the local gringas. A South Dakota gringa would be an rare catch indeed as I have never met one, am guessing they don’t get out much. More on that later. So I ran late because there were 2 guys online wanting to buy a show from 2 different girls on my site. Already late, I hurried into Booth 1 to get a blowjob. It was difficult to concentrate because I still needed to pack and I had to board my plane in under 3 hours. Nevertheless I was able to do the show and then hurry into booth number 6 where there was an anal dildo show underway and the client wanted to see a double penetration with me in her pussy and the dildo deep inside her ass. I deployed a condom, achieved penetration and started working the dildo in her ass in and out. I noticed how tight she squeezed the dildo as I pulled it out, wow this chick had awesome sphincter control. It reminded me to pack some extra lubricant for my trip to South Dakota. Anyway, the client who was paying for our show evidently came and didn’t warn us as the show ended abruptly. I took this as my cue and sprinted down the hall to pack my bags—I felt like a college running back as I weaved in, out and around all the strippers who where crowded into my hall waiting on the bathroom.

I decided to take only a carry on bag as this would be a short trip. Plus, I wasn’t there to attend church services. I had one thing in mind—an exotic sex vacation. Fortunately I had taken the time to put together little Ziploc giftbags containing candies, lipstick and assorted makeup—stuff I thought the locals would enjoy. I hurriedly packed the gifts, some shorts, extra socks and underwear, t-shirts and of course a selection of pocket rockets which I figured I could leave with my conquests. Also brought along my Ipod, portable speakers, Brazilian dance music to see what effect it has on the gringas, and some candles and scented massage oils to get them in the mood. Okay, 2 hours till take off and I haven’t even left my apartment yet. This is gonna be close.

I pull my bag out of my room and am in luck, no girls in my hall. I might just make it out unmolested. I turn to enter the kitchen and out the front door and am face to face with the girl from the anal dildo show and two others chatting in the kitchen. If they see my suitcase I will never make it out as Brazilian girls are the most jealous creatures on the face of the earth and they will suspect what I am up too. Therefore, I turned around and sought refuge in my office. I asked the manager on duty to order the girls back to their cabines and I waited quietly. He barked orders in Portuguese and they made their way out of the kitchen area. As soon as the coast was clear I picked up my bag and ran straight out of the apartment. Hopped in a Taxi, and made it to the airport in 10 minutes. Once there the ticket counter and exiting Brazilian immigration was a breeze. I made my flight with time to spare. My only concern now was US Immigration. It has been a long time since I had entered the US, and didn’t know what their attitude or policy was towards sex tourism.

Anyway, I got comfortable in my seat, took an Ambien and drifted off to sleep. I woke up as the plane was touching down in Houston, and started getting a chubby already. I felt like a teenager on his first date with the anticipation of sex hanging in the air. I was almost there.

I cleared customs without any trouble. Turned out my fears about a crackdown on sex tourism was completely unfounded. Anyway, made my connection and am onto Minneapolis. If there is an internet connection at either Minneapolis or Rapid City I will post this. Will try to do daily reports from the field depending upon the availability of internet cafes.

Who in the hell are you trying to kid? Sex vacation in SOuth D. I have had a lot of people blow a lot of smoke up my butt, but this is by far the best attempt ever. I have scheduled a cancer check for tomorrow. Tell us the real reason you left paradise north (Buenos Aires is paradise south). Inquiring minds want to know. Have fun...life is good.

I did a full-blood Iroquois girl in Montreal a few years ago - Indian girls make for some good luv'n!

Wow, GCL, you get to go to all the exotic places!

I spent a week on the Pine Ridge Souix reservation last summer. Don't recall ever seeing a garota de programa. Don't recall seeing a woman, or a termas.

If you want to have some real fun, get on down to Whiteclay, Nebraska. This is a town that is completely composed of liquor stores serving the Native American community across the border. Friday evenings get pretty interesting in Whiteclay...kind of like Rio only smaller (and no garotas and no beaches and...).

Have fun. I'm living for these reports. Finally some new information.

GCL:

Dude, the only thing you are going to be fucking in South Dakota are bison. Be carfeul with the horns!

Your in Mongering,

BS



P.S. You are sooooooooo full of shit, your eyes are brown. Keep it up! 8^D

GCL and others:

Actually, South Dakota is not all that bad. That is if you are into Harleys. I went there one year with some buddies and we all took our Harleys. They have this annual Harley gathering that is crazy. We hooked up with some very hot girls who were about as close to Brazilian lays as Gringos can possibly be. All we did was fuck, drink and ride with various hot chicks on the back for 4 days.

Thought about going back, then I discovered Rio.

Have fun GCL...you dumbass!

However, if you really want to go somewhere cool...try Des Moines, IA.

You write a lot like a guy I know named Sven.

>---Commentary about Iowa expunged, in order to protect the Guilty---<


BS

I went to South Dakota for college. Man, what a tough crowd. If it wasn't for the Canadian chicks loosening up when they moved south to the warmer climate, I never would have gotten laid. Actually, there is some organized prostitution there, a S.D. resident and friend of mine told me about it, but I didn't take notes, since after college I vowed never to return.

Question: What is the South Dakota state tree? Answer: A telephone pole.

GCL: The $R1 a minute places in Rio were too much of a drain on your pocketbook, so now you're searching the backwaters of South Dakota for cheap and willing putas? Actually, you might want to travel a bit further north for some Eskimo pussy; I understand many consider them ice queens but once you get a fire going in their igloos, they warm up. Or, better yet, you might want to explore the Middle East (word has it pussy is bargain-basement cheap in Afghanistan) and take a spin with some mullah mamas. I would love to join you but am presently stuck in that barren wasteland Sao Paulo. But all is not lost: I am looking forward to relieving the extreme boredom I am now experiencing in this useless city by watching the live feed of the action from your in-the-field camcorder.

(Message edited by LAguy on May 17, 2004)

GCL,

If this report was a screenplay it would be the monger "Spinal Tap". Just fuckin' hilarious.

Sterling

GCL,

I was told that in S.D. you don't pay sex by the hour but by ounce. Is it true?

My info says that basic rate is cheap but session is $1,500 minimum because of girls specific physical constitution in this part of the world.

So, be very careful GCL, Aids is no problem in S.D. but duplas can be very dangerous...you confirm?

GCL,
It is my understanding that loira sheep are plentiful, but if you look hard you can find a mullata or two. Please confirm.
SL

GCL is making a mockery of all decent, hard-working hombres who are stuck up here in Gringaville.

His is the ilk that should be banned from Hombre. (Not to be confused with 'elk', which is all he's gonna see in SD)

I can just imagine GCL, standing in some pasture, his pants crumpled about his ankles while pile-driving a cloved-hooven demon. (Isn't that what he always called gringas?)

I hope your 'date' gets hungry while your doing her and grazes upon your passport and cash. If there is a God, you will be left stranded there while I fly to Rio to manage my new online sex business.

Received this inbox message and thought it was funny enough to share it:

Mon 05/17/04 3:28 pm
TO DonGringo
FROM GCL
SUBJECT Sven is my hero. You suck.
MESSAGE Please dont make snide remarks about me or Sven else one of use may just get your ass one day. Asshole.

Meanwhile, I am busy preparing my next journal entry and dont have time to be bothered by the likes of you.

------------

How the hell do you get to go to such awesome places? There I asked it!

I've been contemplating a trip to SD, where are the best places (no, I didn't read the archives yet)?

I nominate GCL as "The Man". I have not laughed so hard for many a year (after a lot of time in that neck of the woods). Way to go, GCL!

South Dakota: Where men are men, women are sheep, and bison are garotas.

You guys seem to be getting some sort of sick humor out of my trip. I want you to know that not only am I personally offended, but I think the good people of South Dakota would be offended to read this dribble. Those of you who think this shit is funny can kiss my very white ass.

Anyway, I have one full day under my belt. Take a look at the report. I dont want to give anything away in this thread, but lets just say I dont exactly have a full sac anymore.

GCL - I am very happy to hear you are having such a great time. There is nobody who deserves it more because of all the stress you are under at your job. It really makes my day just knowing you are NUTTING frequently with all those fuckin Sheep and Indians. Hurry home because I'm sure all the Garotas miss you. - Hemp

I thought the South Dakota motto was:

South Dakota: Where the Men are GCL and the Sheep are Worried.

Those Dakota sheep are way too professional for me. They only allow doggy-style and want extra if you want to flip them over for a missionary-style pounding. Negotiating CIM was an exercise in futility.