Day 3 Part 1 – The Return
0500 am. I woke up early suffering a laundry list of discomforts, the worst being my id. I remembered some of the things I had read the day prior posted by my arch nemesis, DonGringo. He had called me loathsome…and I almost deserved it. He even went so far as to suggest I would fuck farm animals. That shit aint funny. My business was in jeopardy in the shameless hands of Sandman. He was no doubt walking around my office brazening his erection at all the models. Worse still, my elbows and knees were bruised and scratched from being taken down and drug from PowWow´s yesterday. I also felt like I had been punched in the stomach and remembered I had not taken a crap since before leaving Rio. I decided I would stop eating until I went “number 2”.

I skipped breakfast and went straight to Bob´s Quick Stop to buy a paper. On the way there I gave myself a pep talk, “Hey…this can only get better! Cheer up GCL”. I took comfort in those words. After all, I was an experienced Monger. I have traveled the world several times. I have lived all over—Germany; Greece; Knob Noster, Missouri; and Brazil. I was optimistic today was going to be fantastic.

I was wrong.

I picked up a copy of The Rapid City Plain Dealer, and I had succeeded in doing something I have not ever done. I made the paper. The front page in fact. One of the busy bodies in my tour group had snapped a rather unflattering photo of me being drug by the heels from PowWows and handed it over to a Journalist. Fortunately, the security guard’s boot against my face shielded my identity…a little. It might still be possible to finish the day unrecognized. I dropped my head, tucked the paper under my arm and walked straight back to the hotel.

I had read a post by DonGringo regarding a massage with a happy ending. From experience I knew these were almost always a sure thing. I saw several massage parlor ads. I always liked the Asian Massage places the best as they tend to give a better massage—and I like the massage as it sort of gets me in the mood for sex. There was one place that looked Asian, Madam Cu’s Uó Massage Clinic. The ad said they opened at 2 pm so I still had 6 full hours to kill. 2 pm worked for me though because I have to pack for the airport, and be at the airport for my 6:00 pm flight.

I called the front desk to find out if there were any local tours I could take to kill some time in the morning. They had a wide variety of tour brochures down stairs so I headed down to take a look. Most of the tours featured either Badlands National Park, or Indian Reservations. Still feeling the sting of the day before I did not want anything to do with either. At this point I would like to explain something to the reader. I have always been an animal lover. When I am at home on my couch, 90% of the time I am watching Animal Planet or and animal show on Discovery Channel. I am particularly fond of large mammals. With that understanding I think the reader will understand why I was excited about the possibility of seeing some of North America’s larger mammals such as Elk, Mountain Goats and Bison…

TO BE CONTINUED….

Madam Cu’s Uó Massage Clinic??? Damn, must be some kind of chain of clinics, the place your buddy DonnaGringo went to was Madam Cu's Ardendo over in Ft. Lauderdiddle. Wonder if they have a franchise up here in Philly?

BS

GCL,
I can only assume you are in transit? Please continue your tail, if I read anything more about Deeg's new found love of anal probing.ARGGGGGGGG!!!!!
SL

GCL, Just remember, a condom won't protect you from catching worms from your partner. Be careful!

SL, I understand your repulsion to Deeg's reporting. It makes me sick to read about that stuff too. I hereby put out a challenge to Hombre to impose some standards of decency to this board.

LAguy--I was told by my tourguide that all of the animals on the Prairie tour undergo regualar wormings (unlike DG, who if we are to believe any of what he wrote is STILL infected with worms). But I have a solution for him, and will post it on his thread.

Breaking News! Read all about it!

Bison Numbers Swell at Yellowstone
http:
//news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050915/ap_on_sc/yellowstone_bison

Not mentioned in the article is that many of the baby bison bear a striking resemblance to our own GCL.

And yes, I already hate myself for reviving this pathetic thread. Now if only I could find a way to bring Turk5555 back to life.

Wow, I was just thinking yesterday about how much richer and exciting CH would be if Turk5555 would come back. Alas, I suspect he and his combat-boot-wearing Christane are enjoying a blissful life together, running a clinic to cure sex addictions.

Bwana: Funny how life works. Today something happened to me that also got me thinking about Christane. I went to clear out my bulk mail folder, and there in bold letters was an email titled: "Massive Bukkake Facials." If only Turk were here to share in the nostalgia.

GCL: Can't you mind your women? Looks like your ex is causing problems again. I guess this is one of the dangers of having a trophy fuck on the side.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071110/ap_on_fe_st/odd_bison_head_arson_3

This brings a tear to my eye for a variety of reasons. 1. I am a nostalgic person by nature; 2. I re-read this portion of my South Dakota report above and noticed I had "made the paper" for being arrested...little did I know I would make the paper in a big way only 6 months later in Brazil and 3. One of my ex lovers may have been involved in that arson incident referenced in the article!

I am truly sorry you had to endure your ex-lover losing her hair like that. Shouldn't happen to a dog...er, bison.

Burnt Foot, I guess we should have expected it with a name like that.

GCL may have been referring to the Bison who shat upon him during their romantic interlude. I dont recall if he named her or not. Nevertheless Cat, seems his tale was full of omens.

That was no bison, that was an fugitive garota from Rio Antigo.