My flight was nice. Fortunately no one was sitting in front of me to recline their seat in my face. I really think airlines should not allow seats to recline in coach. There already is barely enough room to move, and then we have to suffer through having a seatback 3 inches from our face. Am I the only person outraged by this behavior? I never recline my seat in the face of someone else—and I do not allow others to recline in front of me. It has resulted in some rather unhappy passengers but I am undeterred; I always push their seat forward again and tell them there is not enough room. Okay, this is really off topic. I think I will just send a strongly worded letter to the airlines.

My flight was full of tourists but I breezed through immigration since I am sort of Brazilian now. I just had to show my ID card and passport and they waved me right through. A taxi ride to my office and I would be able to survey the devastation that 4 days with Sandman had caused. To my surprise and delight, everything was going well. Almost like they did not need me at all.

Morning shift models were just getting ready to work. Three of them asked me to jump into the shower with them. This was in the spirit of our ongoing efforts to conserve resources…no one should ever shower alone. Inside the shower the girls lathered up my body and started fighting over who was going to have my cock in their hands. I broke things up by rubbing ones pussy, kissing another on the mouth and letting the third stroke my cock. As all this was going on I realized it had been days since I was with a girl, and now I was suddenly with 3. It was delightfully overwhelming and I began to shoot my load. Girl 3 started giggling while I had my spasm and she directed my cum onto the thighs of the other two. They finished cleaning my entire body, then they toweled me dry. I went to my room to find my maid had already emptied my suitcase and put everything away.

I drifted asleep thinking how happy I was to be home. Even with all the stress, there is no place like home.

I slept for only about 30 minutes only to wake up and find a different girl was giving me a blow job. This always happens—it really is hard to get any rest here (I was begining to realize South Dakota did have something to offer after all). I stopped her, explained I was really tired and promised to bang her later. She smiled sheepishly and left my room. I locked my door to prevent further intrusions, and laid down knowing I was at least for the time being safe to take a nap in peace.

It really felt good to have nutted at the hands of a 19 year old hottie. The brazilian chicks cant keep their hands off of me...I guess before my South Dakota trip I had gotten used to it. I felt renewed for sure. I also had to revisit something that had been on my mind since South Dakota...am I appealing to the opposite sex? Am I hot after all? Maybe...just maybe I was hot after all...

It was with this thought that I drifted to sleep.

"There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home."

I totally agree about reclining airline seats in coach. In fact, you can't even use a laptop if the seat infront is reclined.

I prevent them from reclining in my face by crossing one leg (its ankle now on the other's knee) so that the knee cap of the crossed leg is supporting their seat, preventing the recline. When they look, I say "where do you want me to move to?".

Luckily, I'm not in coach so often ;-)

I understand the problem, and don't like a seat back in my face either. But I think if anyone tried to stop me from reclining my seat I'd simply call the flight attendant expect they'd compel the person behind me to allow it, have him/her move to another seat if one was available. or failing all, the pilot just might make an unscheduled stop at the next suitable stop to drop off the person who wanted to make his/her own rules about what's permissible on an airplane. I don't know if they'd actually do that. There aren't many "suitable" airports in the Gulf of Mexico. I think the pilot could have someone arrested on arrival in Rio, though, if they persisted in refusing to comply with what the airline staff directed. Perhaps some of our airline hombres have some input. I've never had anybody complain when I put my seat back, and have never complained. No way I would sit straight up for 9 hours plus to GIG, even Ambien-assisted.

Frankly I'm far more interested in how to stop the unhappy infant 3 rows in front of me from screaming throughout a flight. Anybody have any ideas about that?

Give em half an Ambien...he he he

P.S. It's nice to have you back GCL and even though the girls all missed you, we managed to keep them entertained in your absence.

They are a little unhappy about returning to the full workdays and previous pay scales but then again, you have to pay for all these worldly travels somehow right?

I do hope you find a better place to visit on your next sojourn. Any chance that might be in about 2 weeks?????????

sandman...always ready and willing to pitch in and help a friend!

SFHOmbre, you would definately hate sitting in front of me cause you would sit upright I guarantee it. Although I empathize with the person, it is much more uncomfortable to have the seat in your face than to have to sit upright. Frankly, the difference between reclined and upright isnt much anyway. It is really rude of people to recline when they know someone is behind them so I dont feel bad about refusing to allow it. I even have a plastic device designed to prevent reclining which works great (bought them online).

Once from Orlando to Houston a passenger complained to the stewardess about me. I insisted there was not enough room and the flight attendant moved the passenger up to first class so it worked out pretty good for him. He gave me dirty looks after the flight was over. I told him he should turn his scowl into a smile cause I did him a favor.

Might be a strange question, but why dont YOU move to another seat if you dont like someone in front of you reclining his chair? Why inhibit his seat?

I see the back of his chair as a violation of my space, not the otherway around. If someone wants to recline they should either ask permission, or find a seat with noone behind them.

BTW, I never recline my seat if someone is behind me. I am just polite that way.

"The right to recline my seat ends where the other man's knees begins" -- Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, US Supreme Court Justice

(Message edited by gcl on May 21, 2004)

GCL -- I guarantee you I would recline my seat. In yo' face if necessary. Maybe you'd get bumped to 1st class, and would I be pissed!

Exactly how would you accomplish the recline? And if you did it how would you keep it back? They dont lock you know. I am afraid your thinking is flawed.

GCL: For crying out loud! First you get Turk555 (or it is Turk5555, I don't know) all riled up and now this.
So I'm on a Varig flight, sitting in the last row today (thankfully, I could recline my seat without annoying anyone other than the bathroom), and the engine starts roaring in anticipation of take-off. The thug sitting in the seat in front of me (are we sure Noriega is still in prison; this guy looked an awful lot like him) immediately reclines his seat fully, in violation of safety regulations, etc. (the main purpose of the no-recline rule on take-offs and landings is to make it easier to evacuate the plane in the event of an emergency without having to dodge reclined seats). So, I say to myself, what would GCL do (keeping in mind the fact you provided about the seats not locking in place)? Yes, I push his seat back to the non-reclined position after which he starts pushing in the opposite direction hard. Well, by the time this is all over, he is screaming at me at the top of his lungs, creating a scene that causes everyone in the back half of the airplane to look back. I ended up changing seats after ratting out the prick to the flight attendant (who gave him some sort of lecture), and as we left the airplane had my camera ready to take pictures of him attacking me (which thankfully he did not do). Obviously, Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes is not well-respected in Brazil (nor are safety regulations, if that thug is any indication).
While I am not sold on the right to complain about reclined seats while in the air (except to the airline, which designs their seats that way), I definitely draw the line at take-off and landing.

LAGuy,
You are an apt pupil. I admire your courage to push back. Frankly, I am incredulous that more people dont see a reclining seat as a violation of the person's space behind them. I suppose this is because the majority of people are abusive recliners and dont give much consideration to others. They probably beat their dogs too, and TRY to step on ants as they walk on the sidewalk.

Anyway, I think you did the right thing by first correcting the behavior and returning his seat to the upright position. You were also correct to move when he escalated emotionally. Apparantly you ran into a SFhombresque type of guy prone to air rage, and we have to be cautious of this always.

There is a device you can buy at http://www.kneedefender.com which will prevent them from reclining no matter how hard they push. I have several and deploy them in the event I want to take a nap. Unfortunately you cannot deploy these until after take off because your tray table has to be down.

Airlines need to take the lead on this and put an end to this abhorrent behavior once and for all--or add more room between rows.

There just isnt any way to sit on a plane for several hours with a seat back 3 inches from your face preventing you from reading a magazine or using a laptop or being anything but preoccupied with the rudeness of the passenger in front.

GCL -- Do you know where I can buy a fartdefender? Doesn't my fellow man's right to fart end where my nose begins? And how about a hippee-hoppee musicjammer for use in Termas? I'm sure SweetMesquite would buy one. The possibilities are endless! Where can I buy stock?

P.S. You know you can always solve the seat back problem by flying ambien class.

SFH, I knew I would draw you out on that one...

I give up. I was sure the overwhelming weight of my argument would win you over. Instead, you countered with a great argument yourself. I have to admint I see your point on the "Ambien class". My question is this--how do I make the person in front of me swallow the ambien?


(Message edited by gcl on May 24, 2004)

Gentlemen:

It has come to my attention that some of you, including the great Hombre himself, doubt the veracity of GCL's epic trip to South Dakota. Fortunately, the HombreNetwork has friends everywhere, even in remotest South Dakota. I have photographic proof that our friend was actually in-country and up to his antlers in good, clean, mongering fun:



Please excuse the small image size, this photo was taken secretly from a pencam strapped to a fellow South Dakota monger's "peace pipe" (so to speak) and taken through a gap in his robe. Also, I've blacked out GCL's face out of respect for the elk's privacy. However, you will notice that our friend GCL was using the appropriate safety equipment for his date with the elk, as recomended in BwanaDiks' Guide to Grand Rapids. Remember, boys, always wear your helmet!

In the meantime, if GCL hadn't nutted so quickly with the elk and split back to his motel room, he would have been able to partake in a little South Dakota beauty (except for BurntFoot, I don't think he saw another nubile squaw during the whole trip):



Fortunately for all the rest of you mongers, our man in South Dakota did manage to get her cellphone # and I am screening any and all interested parties to see who's the lucky guy who gets to date her (Turk555 need not apply).

Yours in mongering,

BS

(Message edited by badseed on May 24, 2004)

B S

I'd apply but it seems she may be a bit young for me. A new trend is starting I believe. Turk, Deeg, myself, (and others though they are slow to come out of the closet). Are secretly admiring and wishing for the older more experienced woman. Not only one that’s been around the block several hundred times but one that looks it as well. Good try B S but I’m holding out for Gilda.

I strongly recommend that GCL's trip report be placed in nomination by Club Hombre for voting. I sent in a request but it was denied due to it being satire and not actual trip report. Now I ask you - who else would go to SD to fuck Bisons other than GCL and report on it. Please support me guys on this nomination. - Thanks Hemp

GCL -- You're asking ME how to get someone to swallow?

Not a real report - damn, I was hoping a guide .pdf was in the works.

As for the seat in your face - the trick is not to allow it reclined in the first place. (difficult if the dude reclines prior to takeoff). I often sit with a leg crossed, and my knee would be touching the seat back - with sufficient leverage to prevent the recline.

Luckily, I typcially have the bulkhead or upgrade, or an exit row seat (seats infront of exit rows don't recline into the exit-way), and avoid the situation altogether.

I agree, they should just use seats that don't recline (like a Russian airline).

FLHobbyer, thank God someone else feels like I do about reclining seats in coach. I feel a ground swell of support is on the way. Keep the faith, we shall overcome (but you may want to consider knee pads--I do the same thing and often end the flight limping).

As for whether my report is genuine or not... I will not dignify that suggestion with a response.

Fortunately GCL has an ample supply of kneepads from all of the Turking going on in that virtual den of iniquity he calls 'work'.

I've resealed and marked the letters nominating GCL's report return-to-sender so expect them back soon. Those of you camping out on my lawn can go home now, I'm not coming to the door. CH will not be used to promote bison love.

Hombre

Kudos to you for taking this stance. We must have standards, lest we sink to the level of the very animals GCL purports to 'love'.

While you're at it, please seal GCL's entire report, and consider limiting his membership rights. His blatant mockery of all decent hombres, combined with his crude references to weird sex disgust me.

Just one favor I ask of you Hombre? When you expell GCL, can I push the button?? Please??

Sincerely,
DeeG
Working for a better board

There will be no bison love nor mention of dalliances with rodents with nasty, big, pointy teeth.

We must also consider discipline for Badseed for posting photos of naked elk.

Hey?!?!?! I resemble that!

What about banning Mr. Don Anal-Invasions Gringo while you're at it? He's brought he board to whole new levels of indecency...

Indignantly yours,

BS

Noone understands me. Screw it, I will take my reporting elsewhere. (Was going to Colombia but Hombre wont let me go).

Simple solution. Set up a separate thread for anal invasions and colonic cleanings. Those who seek their thrills hearing about such things can read all about it. Those not interested, can just look at the pictures and read the trip reports!

GCL-don't let the bastards get you down. Now, you and DG need to kiss and make up. I think I'll schedule you both for a cleaning next time he comes down and you two can commiserate with each othter on separate tables......! You guys could bring new meaning to the term...Dupla!

Somehow this message intended for GCL made it into my inbox by mistake.

Subject: Miss you so much
From: Burnt Foot <burntfoot4u@hotmail.com>
To: GCL

Hi Honey,

We miss you so much in Rapid City. You are so hansum and the only guy for me. When you cum back?

I am shy, but I have a small problem. I luz my job a Pow Wow. It be fine, but we have problem with family. We have problem with our Bison. Bison are very sick and need medicine and need see Bison Doctor. Medicine and Doctor very expensive. If I don't give $800 in two days, they take Bison and make hamburger, also they take my torqiouse and silver necklace too.

I am shy to tell you this but there is no one else who I can trust and know cares about me. If you can send money by Western Union I can get at Wall Drug. OK, everybody say Hi, and want to know when you come back.

Miss U and xoxoxoxox,

BF

Ah, the sick bison ploy. How many of us have had that card played on us! Be firm, GCL (you usually are...) Tell her that the bison will make an excellent blanket to get her through the cold SD winter without you.

I have to chime in here and say that I agree with Badseed. I find DonGringo's parading of his latent homosexual tendencies all over this board, much more offensive than GCL's South Dakota mis-adventure.

And also the Asian anal penetration story wasn't quite as funny as the SD trip report. There, I said it!

It figures that the farmer from Bumdiddle would find a satirical weird sex trip 'funnier' than my innocent little prostate pumping incident. I remain indignant that you would even attempt to compare my ALL TRUE reporting to GCL's drivel. Still, I can see how GCL parodying your life in his report is more entertaining than watching the corn grow. Ahh the simple life!

I am still wiping a tear from my eye knowing BurntFoot actually cared about me. It must have been devastating for her to watch me being kicked, cuffed and drug out of PowWows.

I also want to take a serious moment here and recognize DonGringo. He should be considered for a lifetime achievement award for his body of work. He is a very prolific writer, and although not particularly humorous, or on point, his contributions are very much appreciated by those that can read them in their entirety.

GCL,
Knowing how much time you have spent in the back country of Appalachia, I was looking forward to your trek across Colombia. Disappointment is a serious understatement of my current state.
SL

GCL's trip report was a parody?

Mee too. I was ready to chip in and buy you an ammo belt.

The sad thing is GCL doesn't have enough cash in reserve to send any to Burnt Foot; all his extra money is being sent to the Bison to support it and its family.

"LUSAKA (Reuters) - A 50-year-old Zambian man has hanged himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen, police said Friday.


The woman caught him in the act when she rushed into their house to investigate a noise.


"He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape," a police spokesman said.


The man from the town of Chongwe, about 50 km (30 miles) east of Lusaka, killed himself after being admonished by other villagers.


The hen was slaughtered after the incident."

GCL: I think there is a lesson to be learned here. And by the way, anyone for some Bison steak?

LAguy (kicking himself for not letting this thread die a graceful death)

(Message edited by LAguy on May 28, 2004)

At least it was a hen and not a rooster I guess.

aaaaarrrrgggghhhh. Just let this thing die a peaceful death. THere are more interesting things to do now that Turk is posting like a lunatic.

Alright GCL, I get your point. Just to make you happy I posted a few comments on Turk's "Serious Relationship" thread. Now get off my back!!

LAguy (oops, I did it again).

Well, GCL finally got his photos processe3d from his adventure in SD. He refused to post any due to the grief he has been exposed to on this thread but while he wasn't looking, I scanned one and decided to share it with the board.

There, I did it!

Sandman: Thanks for the picture. I hate trip reports that do not include pictures of the "garotas."

A guy cant even get a blow job without it being aired publicly.

Sweet baby jeeeeezus, I didn't know they had drive-thru service in South Dakota. It may actually be a hotter mongering destination than we all realized, and I tip my hat to GCL for bringing it to our attention. I just called my travel gent to cancel my impending trip to Rio (ho-hum, been there, fucked that), and book for Grand Rapids. Tell me, please, GCL, did this bison do anal? I really think she has a particularily shapely rump and would like to get to know her better. Any more photos? Please post, plese, please, PLEEEEEEAAAAASE!

You're THE MAN!

BS

(Message edited by badseed on May 31, 2004)

BS. GCL asked me not to tell anybody but she does do "Completa" but insists on a condom.....

Sandman:
I don't know what is up with GCL, all these private emails and all (rather than posting his information directly on the board; I guess he is shy) but he reports the Bison also does Beijo Negro, in his words, "like you would never believe."

I thought it was "bison negro" and he was being racist...

A bison tongue is like 12 inches long. Eat your heart out SportoLingo.

Nuff said.

Being from Montana, I would not be surprised if there aren't bison genes involved. Actually, after the last crap I took it is almost certain there is a connection.
SL

(Message edited by sportolingo on May 31, 2004)

Too much information!!!!!

"Montana Moves to Resume Bison Hunting"

For more on this long overdue development, see http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=624&e=6&u=/ap/bison_hunt