6:00 p.m. - Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:00 p.m. - Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton
6:30 p.m. - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.
6:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00 p.m. - Tribute theme to France.
7:10 p.m. - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:25 p.m. - Tribute theme to Germany.
7:45 p.m. - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:25 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30 p.m. - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00 p.m. - Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)
9:30.p.m. - * Intermission *
10:00.p.m. - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
10:10 p.m. - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:20.p.m. - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!'
10:30 p.m. - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.
10:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50 p.m. - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00 p.m. - Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and same sex).
11:15 p.m. - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:30 p.m. - 'Free Saddam' pep rally.
11:59 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00 p.m. - Nomination of democratic candidate.


Any chance we could get Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home from the convention ?

Since we're just having a little fun, here's a proposed schedule for the Republicans

6:00 p.m. - Opening Constitution-amending ceremony (white US-born christians only).
6:00 p.m. - Opening secular prayers by Jerry Falwell and Jimmy Swaggart
6:30 p.m. - Anti-gay sermon by Gary Dobson.
6:40 p.m. - Painkiller Collection Pot for Rush Limbaugh
7:00 p.m. - Tribute theme to Aryan Nations.
7:20 p.m. - Brainstorming session to assist suffering Cubans (strict time limit).
7:21 p.m. - Tribute theme to Enron.
7:45 p.m. - Anti-porn rally (Moderated by John Ashcroft)
8:25 p.m. - Painkiller Collection Pot for Rush Limbaugh
8:30 p.m. - 'Civil liberties dismantling' workshop.
9:00 p.m. - Gay couple abductions (out-of-shape only for football game)
9:30.p.m. - * Intermission *
10:00.p.m. - 'Painting the Left as Traitors' by Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity
10:10 p.m. - Re-enactment of Bush's drunk driving accident.
10:20.p.m. - Cameo by Quayle 'P-O-T-A-T-O-E'
10:30 p.m. - Sharpshooting demonstration by clinic terrorists
10:40 p.m. - Painkiller Collection Pot for Rush Limbaugh
10:50 p.m. - Pledge of allegiance to Halliburton.
11:00 p.m. - Homophobes vs Gays Tackle Football (no protective gear for the fags).
11:15 p.m. - 'Duping the Middle Class' workshop.
11:30 p.m. - 'Free Lay' pep rally.
11:50 p.m. - Painkiller Collection Pot for Rush Limbaugh
12:00 p.m. - Nomination of republican candidate.

Any chance we could get Rush Limbaugh to drive Ashcroft home from the convention? (or does Cheney babysit John, too)

Note: This is just a joke using corresponding extreme sarcasm. I'm just anti-Bush, not anti-conservative.

(Message edited by Xenono on July 20, 2004)

So, what spot in the program will the Republicans give former Vice President Dan Quayle?

I was just made aware that the original post was not original and verified it by Googling the first line to find it matching on four of the first 10 results. FWIW, my RNC draft was written by me.

D'art,

Just after midnight, there will be a bon voyage party for "Ann" Coulter as s/he leaves for Thailand to complete the transition from man to wo/man. Yes folks, as a sign of her dedication to cocksucker Bush, instead of self-flagilation s/he is going to kill two birds with one clip by finally get rid of "her" penis and taking a rightful place as a woman at the Republican table.

"Ann" will still insist on anal sex only, but at least she won't be pestering Hannity and the boys for reach-arounds anymore.

My post has already been posted on Google? Damn.
Very original D'Art! Thanks for the chuckle at our knuckleheaded leadership.

Deeg & D'art; Two great post's Thanks Guys.

Dongringo, your post was the Joke of the Day on this Republican web site for July 6, 2004:

www.ep-ic.com/EP-IC/Joke.htm

BTW, I was not aware that Ann Coulter was supposed to be a woman. That's news to me.

> Any chance we could get Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home from the convention ?

Great!