This post is a composit of less than a third each of two other articles, and mostly just transcript. I know it's long but I think some of you guys are going to dig it.
Left Hooks and Right Jabs: Stewart Tangles With Carlson
Jon Stewart and Tucker Carlson got into a brawl yesterday when the faux newsman began to lecture CNN's Richie Rich about journalism on the cable news network's "Crossfire."
Stewart, who set the tone by asking Carlson why he and Paul Begala argue so much on the show, noted that he made a "special effort" to come on the daily program, in which hosts representing the political left and right scream at each other. Stewart said he made this special effort because he has said so publicly, so often that "Crossfire" is very, very bad.
"I felt that wasn't fair, and I should come here and tell you that it's not so much that it's bad, as it's hurting America," Stewart told Carlson and Begala. "So I wanted to come here today and say . . . stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America.
"You're helping the politicians and the corporations."
"By beating up on them?" Begala asked, one of the few times he got involved in yesterday's melee. "You just said we're too rough on them when they make mistakes."
"No, you're not too tough on them. You're part of their strategies. You are partisan -- what you call it? -- hacks!" Stewart snapped.
"What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery," Stewart said. "You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.
"I watch your show every day, and it kills me. It's so painful to watch," Stewart added as it became apparent that the comedian was not joking. He went on to hammer the network, and the media in general, for its coverage of the presidential debates. Stewart said it was a disservice to viewers to immediately seek reaction from campaign insiders and presidential cheerleaders following the debates, noting that the debates' famed "Spin Alley" should be called "Deception Lane."
"The thing is, we need your help," Stewart said. "Right now, you're helping the politicians and the corporations and we're left out there to mow our lawns."
While the audience seemed to be behind Stewart, Begala and Carlson were both taken aback. The hosts tried to feed Stewart set-up lines hoping to draw him into a more light-hearted shtick, but Stewart stayed on point and hammered away at the show, the hosts, and the state of political journalism. Carlson grew increasingly frustrated, at first noting that the segment wasn't "funny," and later verbally sparring with the comedian.
"You're not very much fun," Carlson said. "Do you like lecture people like this, or do you come over to their house and sit and lecture them; they're not doing the right thing, that they're missing their opportunities, evading their responsibilities?"
"If I think they are," Stewart retorted.
The conversation reached its most heated moment when Carlson said to Stewart, "I do think you're more fun on your show," to which Stewart replied, "You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show."
"That went great," Stewart could be heard sarcastically saying as the show went off the air (a transcript of the show is available on CNN.com).
But Carlson had a trick or two up his sleeve, noting that on "Crossfire" they ask politicians "pointed questions."
"I want to contrast our questions with some questions you asked John Kerry recently."
At that moment, up on the screen popped some of the questions Stewart had asked the candidate when he appeared on "The Daily Show," Stewart's Comedy Central late-night program.
"If you want to compare your show to a comedy show, you're more than welcome to," Stewart sneered.
"No, no, no, here's the point," Tucker said, going into that super-intense, piercing-stare, squeaky-voiced, quivering-bow-tie thing he does when he really gets going.
"If that's your goal," Stewart added, really enjoying himself now. "I wouldn't aim for us. I'd aim for 'Seinfeld.' That was a very good show."
"Kerry won't come on this show. He will come on your show." Carlson said.
Let me suggest why he wants to come on your show. . . . Here are three of the questions you asked John Kerry. . . . 'How are you holding up?' 'Is it hard not to take the attacks personally?' 'Have you ever flip-flopped?' et cetera, et cetera.
"Why not ask him a real question instead of just sucking up to him?" Carlson wanted to know, but not really.
"You know, it's interesting to hear you talk about my responsibility," Stewart shot back. "I didn't realize -- and maybe this explains quite a bit -- that the news organizations look to Comedy Central for their cues on integrity. . . . If your idea of confronting me is that I don't ask hard-hitting enough news questions, we're in bad shape, fellows."
"We're here to love you, not confront you," Carlson said, momentarily forgetting that viewers had seen the graphic listing the lame questions for Kerry that had been prepared for Stewart's visit.
"We're here to be nice," Carlson continued, disingenuously.
"I'm not. I'm here to confront you," Stewart said, "because we need help from the media, and they're hurting us."
Begala, the Peacekeeper, tried to calm them down, noting that "Crossfire" is a debate show.
Calling "Crossfire" a debate show is "like saying pro wrestling is a show about athletic competition," Stewart said. "You're doing theater, when you should be doing debate. . . . What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery."
"You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne and you're accusing us of partisan hackery?" Carlson shouted.
"Absolutely," Stewart said calmly. You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you!"
"I'm just saying there's no reason for you, when you have this marvelous opportunity not to be the guy's butt boy, to go ahead and be his butt boy," Carlson said. "Come on! It's embarrassing!"
Believe it or not, things went downhill from there.
"We did promise naked pictures of the Supreme Court justices," Begala finally interjected, trying desperately to break up the fight. It was a reference to Stewart's book "America: The Book," which has such pictures in it, and which was supposed to have been the reason Stewart appeared on "Crossfire."
After a commercial break, Carlson said, "We're talking to Jon Stewart, who was just lecturing us on our moral inferiority." He then asked Stewart what he thought of "the Bill O'Reilly vibrator story."
"I'm sorry. I don't," Stewart snapped. "Where's your moral outrage on this?"
Several uncomfortable minutes later, Carlson told Stewart: "I do think you're more fun on your show. Just my opinion."
"You know what's interesting though?" Stewart shot back. "You're as big a [male pride] on your show as you are on any show."

That was probably the greatest segment ever on any type of television interviewing show.

Here is the video:

http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail?ifilmid=2652831

I've watched it three times now. I can't get enough. My favorite quotes:

STEWART: Now, this is theater. It's obvious. How old are you?

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: Thirty-five. STEWART: And you wear a bow tie.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: Yes, I do. I do.

STEWART: So this is...

CARLSON: I know. I know. I know. You're a...

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: So this is theater.

CARLSON: Now, let me just...

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: Now, come on.

STEWART: Now, listen, I'm not suggesting that you're not a smart guy, because those are not easy to tie.

CARLSON: They're difficult.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: But the thing is that this -- you're doing theater, when you should be doing debate, which would be great.

BEGALA: We do, do...

Then there was this exchange taken from above:

Calling "Crossfire" a debate show is "like saying pro wrestling is a show about athletic competition," Stewart said. "You're doing theater, when you should be doing debate. . . . What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery."

"You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne and you're accusing us of partisan hackery?" Carlson shouted.

"Absolutely," Stewart said calmly. You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you!"

Here is a complete transcript:

http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0410/15/cf.01.html

Kudos to Jon Stewart. It's about time somebody called a spade a spade. Crossfire is painful to watch, and does indeed do a disservice to politlcal comity (what little there is left).

Crossfire is a major embarrassment. OTOH, while I appreciate what Jon Stewart had to say, short of brain transplants Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala (as well as Carville and Novak) are what they are, and they are not going to change. However, maybe if there are enough Jon Stewart's calling them to task the viewers will stop tuning in and CNN would have to take notice and change things. Unlikely though.

Whatever happened to Pat Buchanon?

Pat Buchanan is now on MSNBC. He went there along with Bill Press (is that the guy's name? he was also on Crossfire) when CNN revamped Crossfire and brought on the current gang. Bill Press has since disappeared from MSNBC.