I'm confused and could use the advice of someone more experienced. I met a beautiful Filipina over the internet 4 years back. She came from a small town and had a middle class background with a decent education (maybe grade 11 here). She was 9 years younger than me. We married and she immigrated to Canada and for a variety of reasons (cold climate/too busy with work/small isolated town) she decided to move on with her life and leave me. I don't think she ever had this planned from the start...it was more just a case where she never really thought things through on what marriage and moving to a foreign country was all about. We still get along but are going on with our seperate lives.

Now I don't know if I am setting myself up for the big emotional breakdown or not but I've started doing something a little odd. I had the opportunity for a free flight to Thailand and thought great; cheap sex with beautiful women, cold beer and warm beaches. This will be my third trip to Thailand and I'm well aware of the local cuisine. Then I had a slightly crazier thought. Rather than pay for sex, why not meet some hot Thai girls on-line through some chat rooms and hook up with them over there and screw for free. Well, not free when you factor in the cost of the dinner and a few drinks. So I started on this path and never counted on one thing. There are some beautiful, intelligent, single professionals in Thailand that are looking for a relationship. I now have an accountant, a marketing excutive, an insurance executive and a promotions manager who are all set to each take a week off from work, meet me at the airport and be a personal tour guide.

They all have their own cars, 4 year degrees and appear to come from wealthier families in and around Bangkok. So what started off as a quest for free sex has turned around to the complete opposite of what I was setting out for Thailand in the first place. They also want to pay the expenses so its not like a hooker thing at all. As far as I can tell, they are all legitimate in terms of their full time jobs and upper class lifestyles. The part I'm confused about is has anyone ever attempted something like meeting this class of girl with the intent of seeing where a relationship goes? And what would be their motive for such a relationship? I am not handsome or rich on my end and fairly short; 5'5". Looking at it from the outside, something just seems out of place as they could have any Thai guy they want and I'm not bringing anything to the table they can't get on their own anyways. Most guys I know seek out the lower income simple life girls like I did in the Philippines and I learned my lesson on that one. But somehow things got all twisted around and I don't know if this is a path that has worked for others or I should just forget about a real relationship and go to Pattaya and screw my brains out. Advice please...

But somehow things got all twisted around and I don't know if this is a path that has worked for others or I should just forget about a real relationship and go to Pattaya and screw my brains out.

"Nothing is more expensive that free sex"

You were deceptive with them so IF they are as they seem, your doomed. Pattaya is intellectually honest. The BKK trip is bad Karma

" should just forget about a real relationship and go to Pattaya and screw my brains out. Advice please..."

You just answered your own question.


My ex wife was the daughter of a lawyer in Thailand- pampered and never saw the inside of a bar. In some ways you're better off with a BG.

Unless your girl has no livinmg relatives in Thailand - it's near impossible to bring them out of the counry and keep them happy. I would never eb=ven try again.

I am being honest with them as I told each of them that I plan to meet more than 1 girl and they seem okay with it right now. And if things worked out on the first trip, well, she could come here just to visit and see what its like. That was a big mistake with my ex wife. Marry a simple Filipina and the first place she lives is Toronto which is just like what she saw on TV for her. Happy as can be and then we move to a small town and she thinks her life is over. So I'm not really being deceptive here because I'm not just getting involved in hopes of having sex. I would certainly consider marrying the right girl given enough time and at least I won't have to worry about her screwing any guy with some loose baht while I'm gone.

Is it not possible to have a professional Thai girl move over here and have a career and make friends with non Thai girls? Is this a reasonable expectation? My ex-wife was incapable of forming normal friendships with non-Filipinas because she said they didn't undertsand her. I think it was more a case that she was ashamed that we met on the internet and that people would think she just married me to come over here. So meeting a professional would maybe make life easier for them over here and more confident.

Overall what I don't understand is their line of thinking. Why is it difficult to find an attractive, smart and sexy girl in a small town in Canada yet there seems to be no shortage of willing partners in Thailand who could immigrate to Canada on their own if they really wanted to? I have read the responses but they are still outside the scope of this situation.

I am not being deceitful with them and they aren't just living off their parents' money. Maybe my ex-wife just screwed up my thinking so much that now I am looking for the complete opposite in a pathetic atempt to reddem myself and prove that the marriage failed because of her..I will tell anyone here that if you ever meet a beautiful, kind and caring Filipina who has never even seen the inside of a bar....well,before you bring her over here, talk to some others who have tried it.

Why add complexity to a situation where none exists and none needed? Learn to enjoy what is, not what may be.

In short, forgot about all your deep thinking, emotional voids/s, and wasting time on-line trying to conjur up some net fugly. Get on the plane and eat, drink, and screw. Simple pleasures = happiness in the land of smiles and fantasy. If you take (not saying you r) emotional baggage in your back pocket, you will later regret it.

I see that not one person is in favour of my idea. What I remember most about Pattaya was some absolutely incredible anal sex (to her, not me)...Is that all Thailand really is? A sexual fantasy for the Olympics of screwing? It seems so tantalizingly simple to take one more step...well, who knows. Maybe just one dinner date wouldn't hurt.

I am looking for the complete opposite in a pathetic atempt to reddem myself and prove that the marriage failed because of her

Uhm... nevermind

Nam kaeng khai

Khun kit mak!! Stop thinking, go on your trip and have a LOT of fun.

You're looking for "redemption" - look for entertainment. If you go there with the intention (consciously or subconsciously) you'll end up ruining your trip... and possibly your LIFE!!

It's like going out with your friends at home and "looking for a wife". How successful have you been? Think the same way in LoS. You walk around like half of a wedding you're gonna get WAY too much of the WRONG attention from the WRONG girls!!

Go have fun on your holiday. If you HAPPEN to meet someone you REALLY like, do NOT use the "L" word!! Love that forms in 3 days is usually the wrong kind. Hop in a taxi or grab a bus and go straight to another city and start boning there.

Of course, that's just MY opinion - I could be wrong.

E

>>>I will tell anyone here that if you ever meet a beautiful, kind and caring Filipina who has never even seen the inside of a bar....well,before you bring her over here, talk to some others who have tried it

Replace the word "Filipina" with "Thai" in your sentence, and I think you've answered your own question.

From what I gather from others here, many Filipinas want to leave the PI (or at least think they do), whereas most Thais are happy to stay in Thailand. Throw in the fact that there's likely to be a much bigger language gap with a Thai, and some serious differences in social mores and religious beliefs, and it doesn't present a likely recipe for "happily ever after".

As for what a Thai would want with a Farang - pretty light-skinned babies, and a man that has more money than, and treats her better than, a Thai guy.

I highly suggest u listen to Epi, who put into laymans terms my proverbs.

If your interested in developing some chemistry with a thai, the girls LOVE someone who doesn't take things too serious... a carefree fun loving guy. In short, someone who enacts my philososphy and "enjoys the moment" in LoS.

Thai rhuk Thai....that's the way it is. They think all cultures are inferior to theirs now because of this new nationalist attitude that has been spurned by the current administration and media. Thai people do not want to leave Thailand unless they have to. Thats why the Thai population in the USA is tiny compared to other SEAsia developing nation.

Epi my student -- His name is not Iceballs but Frozenballs -- Kai Yen Jat. The adjective always comes after the noun in Thai.

End of lesson one .

FB
If these girls are agreeing upfront that it is OK for you to screw around they are no ordinary non pro Thai pooying. These are freelancers who use the internet instead of a bar for trolling. A real Thai non pro would never tell you it was OK or even discuss sex so casually.
Don't waste your time. So many girls so little time. As Monty Python sings -- " Every sperm is precious !"

Blazers
Thai rak Thai dtae Thai rak baht muan gan

They WILL follow the baht or dollar and leave home, hugely increasing the US trade deficit by sending massive amounts of dollars back to LOS. This ends when the bankroll does and then it's back to Thailand ASAP.

Anyone up for that kind of relationship ??

Most professional women who work in Bangkok have a different life than professional women in US/Canada.

They are working 6 days a week and 10-12 hour work days! They live in one room apartments that are not slums.....just small apartments and even if they were to marry Thai man....they still would live in small apartment.

I am sure through TV and movies they see the American dream. I live near a military base and see many successful marriages between Filipana and Thai women and American men! I have a cousin who has been happily married for 25 years plus to a Filipina and have two beautiful girls.

Frozenballs...you don't say if you have children and if your ex wife worked at all. I think most women want to have children and that would be the glue that holds alot of marriages together through the uncertain times.

KM

I've asked for a glass with ice, not one that is frozen and so I've not learned that word (and my cheapo Eng/Thai dictionary doesn't list frozen). I know my Thai is horrible, but I'm working on it...

E

I actually never used the word frozen before in Thailand so yen jat is a new expression for me....who says you dont learn on this board.

Well, I'll go against the norm and say that if you're looking to travel half way around the world to play the 'dating game', go for it. Seems to ME like a recipe for chasing your tail (you of ALL people should know how time consuming and expensive it's going to be to carry on such a long-distance relationship for all the YEARS it will take for you to finally get her 'home' with you -- asuming she's willing to go), but if you're honestly looking for a life's companion to export, you're probably not going to find what you're looking for in a bar if your goal is to find someone capable of being more than a fuck bunny and stimulate anything but your LOINS.

Personally, if I was freezing my balls off in the frozen tundra I'd be excited about getting to a tropical location and finding someone to fulfill all my sexual fantasies not looking for the perfect woman to marry, but, of course, I've often been told that I'm rather shallow!

I WILL say, though, ICEballs (lol!), it sounds like your reasons for going to Thailand to play the dating game is better than those that I usually see, which is guys that try to meet chat girls because they think there is some sort of stigma in 'paying for it'. As others have pointed out, they can be even MORE mercenary than the 'bar' girls and you tend to ALWAYS end up paying something in a way that's NOT so "intellectually honest" (LOVED that line!).

"UP TO YOU"

Well I admit not to having read every word on this thread. I also agree with my old bud Porker that going half way around the world to play the dating game is a fool's game, but hey I've done dumber things myself.

Anyway, I have used the following web-site to meet a few Thai Ladies and it was interesting. This is a younger man's site as most of the girls are just too young for this potential retiree, but it was fun.

http://www.thailandfriends.com/

btw, there is something about this girl that I like, but she won't answer a retiree's messages.

http://www.thailandfriends.com/_DisappeaR_

Gitano

Epi
Not criticizing just- ben ajarn (I'm a teacher).
Your Thai got a whole lot better with your 2 month stay for sure.

Actually not sure there is a word for frozen in Thai. My dictionary did not list it either. Yen Jat is frosty or frost-- close enough. Nam kaang is of course "hard water" or ice.

The word for freeze is -- glai bpen nam kaang. Literally -- turn into ice. Thai verbs have no tenses so no word for frozen.

I guess - glai bpen nam kaang laeow-- is as close as it gets. But it's getting a bit cumbersome to use as a nickname . :-)


End of lesson 2 !!

Tune in tomorrow for lesson 3 grasshoppers.

To answer the previous posts, I have no children and my ex-wife worked at general service jobs (hotel reception/ cashier and so on). I really think that's a big problem when Filipinas immigrate over here. Their sense of self esteem goes to shit when they can only get low paying jobs but lack the credentials to even get accepted into a university that would take 4 years just to get into the professional workforce. Not to say that a Thai professional could go right into the same profession but at least they would realize inside themselves that they immigrated out of love and not for the sake of lack of opportunity.

I realize I may come across here as somewhat demented over the marriage thing but its only described here to outline my background; that in fact I know what is involved in sponsoring an immigrant and the time required to invest in a long distance relationship. So it didn't work for me but marriages fail every second and its just something that I have to deal with.

I have asked these Thai girls why they would be interested in someone like me and their answers are all similar. They want a partner who does not share the Thai norms and customs. They want a guy who they can talk and who can just be themselves and not worry about losing face. They also all seem to want a guy who thinks in a way that is very different than a Thai guy. Pretty much the same qualities that are opposite between a Canadian and a Thai girl. Unlike some posters here, I love Canadian girls (in fact my sisters are from here) but it is just so much fun to be with someone from another culture. From the moment you wake up, your whole day is unpredictable. I mean, how many Canadian girls reach for the rice cooker at 8AM? It just adds spice to a relationship...

I never started out this way but when you write to a girl in hopes of a quick screw and she writes you back with a heartfelt, sincere email that obviously took a lot of time to prepare, you begin to realize that these are actual people writing back with dreams and hopes and feelings..

When I bring up the issue of writing to more than 1 girl on the phone, they are not casual about it at all. In fact they sound hurt and make me feel like shit by saying that they just hope that I remember to include them. They say their feelings are hurt but are happy that I am honest enough to tell the truth. This just throws me for a loop because you say that here to a girl and you better duck...

The reason I come across as an asshole and want to meet more than 1 girl is only because I want to be sure that we are most compatible for each other. It was the same in those bachelor TV shows where even though all the girls knew he was dating other girls, they still accepted it in hopes that they would be chosen. To me this thinking is fucked but hey, I'm not a girl...

Frozenballs is due to the fact that I live in a damn cold area of Canada and it seemed a logical name. So that's it and I'll update this as things either go to shit or I use the L word within 3 days of meeting someone...

"Thai..they immigrated out of love and not for the sake of lack of opportunity."

IMHO the comment is just a tad naive. Opportunity is why they are talking to u and countless other foreigners... They have a dreamy vision often fueled by ignorance.

"I realize I may come across here as somewhat demented over the marriage thing "

Your certainly not demended due to a failed marriage. However, I do get the strong impression your searching for love, searching for a missing ingredient, and in an emotional healing stage now. Look inside young grasshopper for the answers, not outside.


"They want a partner who does not share the Thai norms and customs. They want a guy who they can talk and who can just be themselves and not worry about losing face. "


What else are they going to say? you really believe this line? They like farangs because of their perception of wealth, which is a major coup for face. I would be suspicious of any thai girl who told you they wanted to leave thailand for canada. She is either a liar, mentally challenged, or a criminal on the run.


" but when you write to a girl in hopes of a quick screw and she writes you back with a heartfelt, sincere email that obviously took a lot of time to prepare, you begin to realize that these are actual people writing back with dreams and hopes and feelings.."


Yes people all have hopes and dreams... nothing new there.


"This just throws me for a loop because you say that here to a girl and you better duck..."


It's not a function of ethnicity, but of leverage. What happens if your email friend bleeds into ya-- simple you don't write and opportunity is lost for her. Your canadian girl meanwhile ain't gonna tolerate the same BS, because the playing field is leveled. Unless your quite the catch, she does not have the same external factors driving the relationship.


"The reason I come across as an asshole and want to meet more than 1 girl is only because I want to be sure that we are most compatible for each other. "


The primary objective in life is to procreate with as many genetic specimens as possible. If what you said is really your objective, why write about it on a site dedicated to whoring around the world? Your words in this context and setting lead me to believe that you just may be demented.

good luck

-dm

Frozenballs-

You don't say if you want to have children or if your ex wanted children. You also don't say if the Thai girls you are corresponding with want children.

Most women want children....American, Candian, Tai, Flipina, etc. They want a family! A family is what gives them security and self esteem. The Thai women you are talking to.....if they don't want children.....then they are most likely looking for an oppprtunity for enhance their materalistic needs.


Most hombres giving you advice here are not going to give the feedback you are looking for. They are past the point of this being a hobby for them....this is a way of life for them! This is the lockerroom talk they were never a part of in high school where they can brag how many chicks they did it with and expalin in detail and provide pictures to prove it. Which some are done in very poor taste.....what is this a pornsite or what.

I for one...... don't want to see some other hombres cum dripping from some hookers pussy!

Frozenballs.....what you are doing is asking for advice from sex addicted mongers who are jaded in their understanding that all women regardless of their nationality only want to be in a relationship with a man for their money!

Here is example of one hombres response to you.

"I would be suspicious of any Thai girl who told you they wanted to leave Thailand for Canada. She either is a liar, mentally challenged, or a criminal on the run!"

These are the cynical response you are goin gto get here!

They fail or refuse to believe that there is a chance for a better life over here! They work 6 days a week 10-12 hours a day.....live in small one room apartments. They see TV and movies and many have friends or relatives that are living here now and have heard how much better life is here.

Not the rich and the famous....just the average family here has it so much better than the average family does in Thailand in most aspects!

I guess Beachman's right, as "jaded sex addicted mongers" we are "condemned" by that shared addiction to screwing beautiful 18 year old girls from all over the world, in all possible openings, for lunch money. Sob!

"what you are doing is asking for advice from sex addicted mongers who are jaded in their understanding that all women regardless of their nationality only want to be in a relationship with a man for their money!"

Beachman

I noticed you took one trip to Thailand, leaving Christmas Day and returning New Years Day. Methinks this did not give you the whole picture of life in Thailand...

The majority of the girls working bars in Thailand are from POOR families!! These families lived off of roughly $100/month. They come to Bangkok and are dazzled by the farang walking around with two months of Thai wages in their pockets. Easy for them to start thinking of foreigners as rich.

Now, let's not leave out their urban counterpart - the poor Thais from the cities. These girls are used to making more, but not much more. Perhaps their family made $150-200/month. Not a lot, but a lot MORE then others were making. Still, they are easily impressed by the "big money" the foreigners bring and so are drawn to them.

Now, let's talk about the "professional" Thais. These are people with college educations and so making "bigger" money, yes? WRONG.

If you go to the restaurants and shops in the Nana area (hell, ANYWHERE in Bangkok), you'll find any number of people working as waiters or store clerks. My ex GF has a Bachelors degree. You know what job she had when I met her? Waitress. Last year she moved from the restaurant to working at a hotel. Her wages at that hotel were 260B/day (roughly $6.78US at todays exchange rate). My current GF has a sister that's a nurse - she makes roughly 15000B/month with overtime ($390US).

Let's combine this with another factor mentioned by Blazers and KM - Thai love Thai. It's not uncommon for Thais to marry Thais. Thais are surprisingly xenophobic (esPECIALLY the upper class). Most Thais will see a woman walking with a farang and IMMEDIATELY think she's a bargirl. Now, this does not extend to Thais born and raised in the US, but if they are middle or upper class and raised in Thailand it is rare for them to entertain the idea of being with a non-Thai.

Add in language barrier and cultural differences and you're looking at a difficult task indeed. I had a few dates with a SUPERsweet Thai woman. I distinctly remember, on our first date, trying to convey over dinner that I wanted to see her again. This took about 10 minutes of bad English, Thai and numerous hand gestures (don't ask) to convey.

My current GF has an operational vocabulary of roughly 1200 English words. I remember sitting at dinner one night with Merlin and MongerX and suddenly getting an elbow to the ribs. Oh yeah, she understood TOO MUCH!! Even with this, we still have problems communicating certain things regarding our relationship because we run into both linguistic and cultural barriers.

Until Frozenballz UNDERSTANDS Thai culture and UNDERSTANDS the Thai language, Thailand is NOT the place he should be looking for a wife. He's only asking for more trouble then he had previously. Just ask KM - he understands BOTH and look how well that marriage worked out...

Some of our answers may seem trite and jaded, but many of us are speaking from experience. A guy getting off the plane looking for a Thai wife is BOUND to run into problems he, you and most of us here (including myself) cannot even beGIN to understand.

I know we sound "critical" of the idea, but we've got a pretty good idea of where this is going to go and we want to save him from the fate many of us have previously suffered. Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. I'm trying to help Frozenballz learn from the (unfortunate) experiences I (and others) have had.

"They are past the point of this being a hobby for them....this is a way of life for them! This is the lockerroom talk they were never a part of in high school where they can brag how many chicks they did it with and expalin in detail and provide pictures to prove it. Which some are done in very poor taste.....what is this a pornsite or what."

Hey, I resemble that remark!!

"I for one...... don't want to see some other hombres cum dripping from some hookers pussy!"

Now, you see, I would call this a valid form of expression. It's like a Larry Flynt publication - if you don't wanna see it don't look at it.

I LIKE seeing (and taking) these pictures - I believe that others on this site think the same way as I do. Now, if you do not appreciate the "works of art" I (and others) post here, you are welcome to ignore them and/or post your own masterpieces

Everyone likes something different - that is why we do not all get on the same plane to the same place, barfine the same girls, marry the same women. Enjoy those differences...

E

My original comment:

"I would be suspicious of any Thai girl who told you they wanted to leave Thailand for Canada. She either is a liar, mentally challenged, or a criminal on the run!"

Your response:

"These are the cynical response you are goin gto get here!"


Me: Cynical? Pass the lemonaide. Let's see, list some adjectives/descriptors that would entice a thai to pick up and move to canada and freeze their ass off? Ohh I forgot, Love! Ummm perhaps door #2? It's not me being cynical, but rather you being blind.

BTW, I probably fucked more girls in HS than now... . I monger as a way to keep up my #s, not make up for lost time. So much for that hypothesis.


Ep-- did we advertise on Orpah?

Hombre--

SOB! I had a feeling that was my fate!

You guys make my point for me. Even professional Thais with a college education make more money...WRONG! That is exactly why they want to come here to make more money and a better life!

Most Americans love Americans...it is not uncommon for Americans to marry American! When most Americans see an old man with a young woman they thik she is a whore or a gold digger....it is the same here as in Thailand.

The point is Frozenballs is looking to have a relationship with Thai woman in a differnt way than most hombres here. I personally know of many many American/SE marriages that work fine.

Like I said.....many hombres here are past the point of this being just a hobby and this is now a way of life. I am not judging....just pointing out that just becuse it didn't work for you or it's not for you.....or you previously suffered. Don't sterotype any Thai woman that may want to come here is either a liar, mentally ill or a criminal!

I spent one week in Bangkok and carried many conversations with Thai women who speak English and understand much better..... than alot of Hispanic people who live where I live in Florida and get along quite well in the US. Some have been here for years.

Oh yeah DM....I bet you were a stud in Hig School when you was BBing 27 chicks monthly. statements like that where you you think just because you say it we will think it is true just proves how adolesant you approach this whole thing.

That said there is nothing wrong with it....this is the place we all get to do and say what we may not do in are everyday lives. I don't agree with all that is said and posted here .....but I can ignore if I choose to.

I just am pointing to Frozenballs that the advice he is getting from some mongers here may be jaded and cynical. Most hombres that have been successful with Thai women probaly are no longer members here and have moved on to a different stage in their lives.

Beachball,

I hope u are able to transcend all us this petty drivel from "adolesant"'s such as myself.

Ohh ya Mr. Math... I wish I could extrapolate 1 month of mongering over a 4 year period. And If I did the math out, it may well be that I did get laid more (sessions) then vs. now. Of course, there's no way to prove that now is there?

It carries about the same weight as you claiming to know anything about which you write.

I'm curiuous, how many days have you spent in Thailand?

"You guys make my point for me. Even professional Thais with a college education make more money...WRONG! That is exactly why they want to come here to make more money and a better life!"

Let me repeat what you said again: THEY WANT TO COME HERE TO MAKE MORE MONEY AND [HAVE] A BETTER LIFE. So... you are telling me they are moving here for the money - NOT FOR LOVE.

"I spent one week in Bangkok and carried many conversations with Thai women who speak English and understand much better..... than alot of Hispanic people who live where I live in Florida"

Florida has INSANE numbers of people that speak Spanish. I'm certain if a Thai woman married someone in Florida, and that Thai woman SPOKE FLUENT SPANISH, she too would get along JUST FINE. Transplant your Hispanic neighbors to Montana or Missouri and see how well they "get along". The last time I checked, I did not hear about any large Thai communities up in Canada where FB lives. While they may have a better grasp of English then some of your Hispanic neighbors, this does NOT make them fluent in our tongue, nor place them within a community of people that understand their needs and drives. The Thais do not have the social or moral influences of someone from North America. There are MANY Asians that speak English. They may TALK like us, but they were raised differently and so don't THINK like us. This is not bad in and of itself, but makes it more difficult and could present REAL problems if you're considering marrying one.

You mentioned you spent one week in Bangkok. You now understand the cultural, social, economic drives of these Thai women wanting to get together with FB? I've spent 2+ years - Blazers 4+ years - KM 20+ years getting to know Thailand and it's people. Perhaps we're taking a certain PoV because we understand things a bit better...

Referring back to your first message:

"The Thai women you are talking to.....if they don't want children.....then they are most likely looking for an oppprtunity for enhance their materalistic needs."

There's NOTHING stopping Thai women from pounding out a few puppies AND going for your money. Ask Blazers - he'll tell you how many Filipina clients he has that have played this game... and WON.

"When most Americans see an old man with a young woman they thik she is a whore or a gold digger....it is the same here as in Thailand."

There's the one-in-a-million girl that really LOVES that man that's 40 years older then she is. However, in 99.9999% of the cases, yes the girl's a gold digging whore.

Yes, I guess I'm one of your "cynical" ones. I am not telling FB this is a lost cause, but the PROBLEMS he's gonna face are FAR more exotic then he, or you, could ever dream.

E

Epimetheus-

I live in a part of Florida where the Asian population is probaly bigger than the Hispanic population and most seem to function just fine here! As a whole Asians seem to succeed more in the U.S. than Hispanics despite the culture and moral differences.

In the mortage side of my business.... I deal with alot of Asians married to Americans from Thailand, Vietnam and the Phillipines. So even though you have all this experience living there and getting to know the Thai culture. I see the results of what we are specifically talking about and answering Frozenballs original question of...... if marrying a Thai woman will work?

I would say that most of these marriages seem to be better off finacially than Americans married to Americans. Most Asians are brought up to know the value of saving money and depise using credit under any terms.

We know....most Americans are just the opposite and will use credit whenever it is extended to them. Financial problems and debt are the biggest cause of divorce in the U.S.

I don't think Frozenballs odds can be much worse marrying a Thai woman.

Hell..... why do you guys think Thais are so different than the millions of other people from countries from all over the World who have relocated here who have diferent cultures and values than ours?

Yes they do come here for better life which includes money.

Now....like thousands upon thousands of people around the World....icluding Americans.....women are lonely. There are dozens of websites like Match.Com, etc. where people are taking the gamble to meet someone for a better life.

These women Frozenballs met online probaly have thought about the consquences if they follow through with a relationship with someone from here. There are consquences and gambles to any relationship....... regardless of different social and moral values.

Sounds like you base some of your proof that KM's marriage didn't work out.....I would be curious to know if they had children! Like I said before ....most women want children! Was KM participating in the hobby during this marriage? Many times people (me included) want to deflect their failures in life to causes that are much complicated than the truth....it is human nature. And if we say it enough...we really begin to believe that we have to take no blame......that it was in the cards all they way!


You say you guys have so much experience because of the time you have spent over there....and I counter that I know dozens of these marriage that are just fine!

The girls I am correpsonding with are earning between 20,000 and 30,000 baht per month, while still living at home with their parents. They all seem to mention wanting children as part of their future plans. There are some large Thai communities here, but mainly centered in Toronto and Vancouver; not really around me. As far as the weather, there are quite a few Filipinas around my town and they actually seem to enjoy the cold. In fact they often leave their car at home to walk to work when its way below freezing, so I don't really see the cold as an issue. In terms of English skills, that's not a problem as they all use English at work and can write and speak better than some natural born Canadians I know. In fact the one girl just finished a job interview where it was all conducted in English which surprised me.

I have read everyones' point of view here and I just think that a lot of it is biased based on your individual circumstances. There are just as many Canadian or American women that marry for money as Thais or any other culture. In fact, one reason my wife left was because I did work too many hours while she preferred a lower living standard but more time together. I think its fairly easy to spot a goldigger anyways...they expect you to pay everytime, they expect gifts and so on... In fact the one girl I talk to has older white guys sending her money and gifts in the mail which seems like an attempt to buy love or something.

From what I have been able to gather by talking to each of them, they are not desperate to leave Thailand but are simply intrigued by the thought of making friends and possibly developing a relationship with someone outside their normal culture. I have asked each how they would react in public when seen with me and they either didn't care what others thought or commented that its more a matter of being with someone of a similar class and race doesn't come into it. A lot of Thais I notice are mixed anyways with Chinese or Malay in their background.

Its funny to read some of the responses here because the same guys that say to stay away from looking for a relationship themselves fall in love with a hooker and then send money in an attempt to keep them from working the bar. All I'm trying to do is meet the same kind of sexy Thai girl without having all the associated problems of a hooker/client relationship. If I don't have to send money because her family is already well off, she isn't screwing 5 guys a day and she could adapt okay to life over here, then I would much rather meet that kind of girl (given the choice). I'm not judging anyone for screwing Pattaya hookers because I love doing it myself but I just feel it would be nice to meet someone and not leave Thailand at the end with your heart broken, but instead looking forward to the next few months when she can come out and visit me.

I know some real nice, English speaking, middle class, Lao office girls here in San Diego who love to chat online.

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

I think we should just forget the whole thing and let Frozen go meet his Thai girls . It's obviously what he wants to do. I'm for one puzzled as to why he asked for advice when it is clearly just discarded and not considered. Or was it Beachman who discarded it for him ??


Beachman-- Yes I had a daughter with my ex- She still lives with me - not her Mom. Daughter's choice.

No I was very faithful to my wife-- she refused to believe it but it was true. Thai women are insanely jealous ! Accent on the insane.

I find it very difficult to believe you have " many" customer couples who are Farang and Thai. It's extrememly rare even here in LA ,which has the largest Thai community in The US.

I have dated many Thai non pros in Thailand and I know Thai women well enough to state without reservation that if they are openly discussing anything about sex with Frozenballs , they are not the simple office girls they are pretending to be. They have had prior contact with farang men and are used to doing this. A true Thai non pro would not even hold hands in private for at least a few weeks , let alone start a conversation about sex with someone they have not even met.

Frozenballs-- I repeat - Do whatever you want. I was only trying to offer my experience as you requested , before Billy Graham stepped in. Listen to him if you wish. After all he spent a week in Bangkok.

Frozenballs mentions nothing about mentioning to the girls that he is going to have sex with the other girls. He tells them he has corrosponded with other girls and he plans on meeting in person others. He is being honest with them up front. People who do online dating know that others will be corrosponed with!

KM-

I read back some of your trip posts from the past and it seems that you were trying to turn a former bargirl into your wife and where sending her money monthly. You even refered to her as your possible future wife! It seems like you went and cheated on her with active bargirls while you where in Bangkok and she found out about it and confronted you about it and you denied it. Could this maybe part of the reason why you are so adamant that Thai women are insanely jealous!

Why do you find it difficut to believe that I have clients who a Farang-Thai. I am sure there are many successful Farang-Thai marriages out of the millions of people in the LA area!

I finally thought of a compelling argument and rationale for encouraging others to wear condoms...




(Message edited by donmarco on January 28, 2005)

KM-

If you go back and read your own experiences you can see why common Thai people look upon Farangs as you suggest.

What is this Billy Graham crap! Just beacuse you go and carry some long distance relationship with some young, sweet, innocent girl.....who sends you and your Thai daughter gifts at great expepense. She is under the assumption that you are married because of the gold ring you buy her and even plan to meet her extended family introducing you as her husband. Then you go and disrespect her and barfine a girl with you knowing Da has friends everywhere.

She confronts you and you go on the offensive and it seems like she does the class act and wishes you good luck and for you to do what you want to.

There is nothing Billy Graham about me pointing this out. You consider yourself an expert on Thai culture and why Thai women/Farangs marriages won't work. They don't work for the same reason American marriages don't work. If you disrespect your significant other and fuck around on them.....especially where their friends see it....it wll not work anywhere.

I only point this out because you discourage Frozenballs not on facts......but on your own personal experience that you screwed up!

You guys remember Drew Who....

It seems he was a fulltime monger who was a member here....he found love in Thailand. He married back in 2003 and he and his bride live here in the U.S.

Seems that marriage must be working out fine and he no longer feels the urge to monger or at least not dicuss it here. But.... of course I could be wrong....I did only spend one week in Bangkok!

You are obviously commenting on events and relationships you know absolutely nothing about.
I do not at all apreciate your personal attacks and that is where the Billy Graham comment came from. I'm sorry if it offended you ,but you seem to want to avoid the initial reason this thread was started and instead concentrate on a series of personal attacks on me and several others . You know nothing about me and less about Da but speak like you know exactly what happened and whose fault it was. Keep your opinions about my personal relationships to yourself unless asked please.

I do not claim to be an expert in anything, never have never will. However,I'll put my experience in Thai culture and relationships up against yours anyday.


"I only point this out because you discourage Frozenballs not on facts......but on your own personal experience that you screwed up! "

You encourage Frozenballs not on facts but your perceptions of other peoples' experiences. You do not know WTF you're talking about , just preaching.
I have NEVER " fucked around on a significant other" or disrespected them and never will. I totally resent your accusations.
I will not bother to reply to any further crap you wish to post. You're not worth the time.

BM

Been busy with a few things, but I wanted to get back to you:

"I live in a part of Florida where the Asian population is probaly bigger than the Hispanic population and most seem to function just fine here! As a whole Asians seem to succeed more in the U.S. than Hispanics despite the culture and moral differences."

I wonder what part of Florida that is. You see, a quick search of Florida Census data yields some interesting results for your state.

Population....................................................................Florida....USA
Asian persons, percent, 2000 (a).....................................7%.......3.6%
Persons of Hispanic or Latino origin, percent, 2000 (b) )...16.8%......12.5%

What this tells me:

Florida's population consists of 16.8% Latino/Hispanic people. This means your state's population has roughly 34% MORE people of Latino/Hispanic origin then the national average.

Florida's population consists of 1.7% Asian people. This means your state's population has roughly 53% LESS people of Asian origins then the national average.

Let's look at this another way:

Florida total pop 2000:..........16 million (15,982,378)
Florida Hispanic pop 2000:......2.6 million
Florida Asian Pop 2000:..........272,000

You are talking about a ratio of 10:1!! Are you SURE your area has more Asians? Perhaps you SEE more because you are in an affluent area - Asians tend to have more money... money for nice houses... people you would run into in the mortgage business.

Also, "Asian" is a TERRIBLY generic term. Do you run into Chinese, Japanese, Laotian, Cambodian, Vietnamese, Korean, Philippino? They are ALL different and they ALL deal with US culture differently. They ALSO do not have a common language as those that speak Spanish.

Now, are you dealing with people that are "recent citizens" or did their parents come over? Were they raised here in America? All of these things, along with their race, contributes to whether it's "common" for them to "mix" with outside cultures.

I've got some Korean friends here in the US that own a restaurant. They are WONDERFUL and gracious hosts. They go out of their way to welcome me into their home and treat me like family. I recall speaking with the father about what he expects from his son. He told me "I will be disappointed if he does not marry a Korean."

This man struck me as VERY westernized. I knew he met his wife in Korea, but they both came over here just out of high school and have lived here 20+ years. This statement came from the "Americanized Asian".

Now, I'm certain you see many people with Asian blood. The nature of your work puts you in contact with PEOPLE WITH MONEY.

Now, how many Anglo/Thai marriages do you see, where the WOMAN was BORN and RAISED in Thailand? How many have you followed beyond them purchasing their homes?

Perhaps you should be talking to divorce lawyers about THEIR clients and see if they tell a different tale. Just ask Blazers about his experiences. He is, after all, the divorce lawyer...

E

Khun Mor-

I am not posting my personal opinion but relying on the facts you have posted in the past. In particular look at your trip report 2004/11 Khun Mor's Bogus Adventure in Thailand.

You go into great detail of what happen and admit to your little head doing the thinking. So my accusations are not accusations!

My whole point is that the reason some are discouraging Frozensballs plan to possibly try and wed a Thai women are based on the bad personal experiences they themselves had. As I pointed out ....others from CH have been successful with Thai women. I pointed out Drew Who. I recall Innocent/Dazed also has a wife from Thailand that is here in the US.

E-

Florida is quite diverse in it distibution of its Hispanic population. It is concentrated in a few of Floridas 67 counties. If you look at the election map Florida like the US there are quite a few more Red counties than blue counties if that will help give you a perspective.

The county I live has a military base with active duty personal and is one biggest retirement areas in the country for retired military.

It might suprise you..... but I would say around here there are probaly more Vietnam Vets who brought back brides from Thailand than from Vietnam during and after the war. I am a Vet and have had alot of clients from successful Anglo/Thai marriage where the women were borned in Thailand. I also have clients who do not have military backround and are Anglo/Thai. One couple who are very close friends of mine ....he is Irish and she is Thai borned.

The county next to us has one of the few true Buddist Temples is the United States.

I may not have first hand experience of Thai culture in Thailand. But I do have years of experience of dealing with people with Anglo/Thai marriages. And believe me when you do a loan application for a mortgage and help people sell or buy a house.....you get to know them pretty well and hear all the intimate details of the marriage....finacially, culture and personal and basically life history of everyone involved.

This all goes to my point that there are many successful Anglo/Thai marriages and I would say from my personal and business experiences they are stronger marriages than most American/American marriages despite the culture differences!

Frozenballs was asking could it be possible?

KM-- I guess we both need to spend more time fucking and less time writing. Between you and I, we have a way of bringing out the ...

We'll be sure to mull over the pooying philosophy while plugging hordes of chicas in AC.

Good luck frozen balls.

-DM

Beachman

Yes, you are right, it is possible for a farang to marry and be happy with a Thai born Thai female.

Just remember, you're job puts you in contact with the SUCCESS stories, not the failures.

We can only hope if Frozenballz decides to do this... well, I'll shut up now...

E

Well, Beachman see the happy side when the Asian girls are all smiles because their hubby just bought a house and her name is on it as a joint owner....she just hit the motherload. Now, I dont doubt you have a lot of experience with Asians as military base areas tend to attract Asian women whom the soldiers have brought back after some sort of epiphany. I see the other side when the woman decides she wants to start her retirement by getting spousal support and digging into her hubby's retirement and home equity.

The truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Some marriages work out and some don't, just beware of the cultural differences. As KM correctly points out, Thai girls are unique and not necessarily like all other Asian girls. They love their country and they love their culture. If you meet her half way and learn some Thai and embrace the Thai culture, you should be fine. The problems I have always seen with mixed Thai/farang couple is when the husband refuses to embrace anything Thai. The Thai girl becomes resentful to him and ends up going to the temple alone and spends all her free time doing activities within the temple. If he is out of the loop, she becomes lonely and wants out. Marrying a Filipina doesnt quite require this effort because quite frankly....the Philippines really doesnt have a culture and learning Tagalog is unecessary as most Filipinas speak English. You still have to learn some idiosyncracies but the learning curve is less so.

If I were to give frozen balls any advice it would be that you should read up a lot about Thai culture and learn the language. Your gf or future wife will appreciate this tremendously and so will her family. Your odds are still not high but at least you will be on the right track.

Don Marco
Totally agree. I'm done with this crap. May be a long time before I ever again offer any advice .


Good luck to you Frozenballs-- just follow what your instincts tell you to do.
Sorry that Beachman hijacked your thread for his own private agenda.

This thread is now dead to me.

Blazers-

You are right some marriages work out and some don't.....same as American marriages.

From my experience the American/Asian marriages seem to be stronger and work out better that American men married to Europeans.

British and German women seem to have more problems with the American culture than Asians and are more adament about that their culture is superior to the US. They also seem to spend and not to know the value of saving money and there fore there are more finiacial problems with these marriages. like most American/American marriages....finacial problems are the biggest cause of divorce.

Alot of cash-out refinace mortages with these couples tapping out the couples home equity paying off maxed out credit card, etc.

Most American/Asian couples refinance for a better interest rate or are going for 15 year mortgage versus 30 year......they have very little or no credit card debt.

I agree any hombre needs to want to know some Thai culture and some language. But that would apply with any nationaality.....not just with Thai women.

I understand that in your profession you do see the ugly side of these marriages/divorces. I also see the ugly side of divorces when people split up. Women and men when they are divorced do not understand that when they get divorced even though the judge and divorce degree orders once spouse or the other is reponsiblefor the mortgage payment....that if that spouse does not make the payment ....it will show up negative on both spouses credit report.

The mortgage agreement was before the divorce and the mortgage holder(the bank) is not bounded by the divorce degree.....both paties are responsible to the bank for credit purposes regardless of what the divorce degree.

If you are not explaining this in detail as their attorney....which I am sure you are....this is the one thing I cannot over emphasis you point out to whoever you are representing that it is very important to refinance or to sell the property with the divorce. If that is not possible..... contact the lender by certified mail that if the payment is late that both parties are notified immediatly so the party not responsible by the divorce degree is notified and is aware that the payment is late..... so they have an opportunity to protect their credit rating.

The divorce is suppose to give both paties a new start .....but when someone doesn't make the mortgage payment and credit ratings get ruin..... it starts all over again!

Again my intent is to let Frozenballs know that there are sucessful marriages with Thai women.

My intent was not to embarres or single out anyone ....but when their discouragement is based on personal experiences where they admit that their behavior would not be tolerated in our mainstream culture much less Thailand's culture. And then, they try to generalize almost all Thai women fall in the perception they have of Thai women!

I still stand by my assertion that many members here are past the point of these being a hobby for them....but a way of life. I am not judging them for that .....just pointing out that the advice given by them is somewhat predudicial and that they may be jaded and cynical that someone else may be able to have a successful marriage with a Thai woman!

Like I said and pointed out there are other members that participate or have participated on this board who have married Thai women. My guess is the ones that have been successful no longer monger and participate on these board.

That is a hard concept for many hard core mongers to believe because they think once a monger always monger!