Many of you have seen me post over the years, first as Mclapp, then Sniper. I have over 600 total posts, a couple of trip reports, lots of calendar events. I've been all over the place mongering.

I enjoy mongering and I enjoy the company of all the CH guys I meet in these destinations.

If you have been following my Medellin reports, you have noticed that I have taken a liking to a woman named Olga.

She's certainly not the youngest (she's 38), she's certainly not a 10 (although her body is!), and she certainly doesn't come without the baggage of working in the industry for so many years (I'm not sure how long, I have not asked her).

But for some reason, I am completely enchanted with this woman. Ironically it is the same time that I am going through a fairly strained marriage that in the next month will be finished.

We correspond a few times a week either via phone, instant messanger, or by email. She sends me pictures, cards from Medellin, stuffed animals (what is it with Latinas and stuffed animals anyway?).

What is very cool about Olga is that she has never even asked me for a dime. Nothing! Other than the first time we met, she has spent every night with me free of charge. From afternoon until the next morning. Then she goes home, sees her family, then returns.

I have purposefully avoided the subject of money because it turns my stomach to become an ATM boyfriend.

Yet I constantly think that if I give her money, she'll stop working. I know she is busy as a massuse, but I don't think she is terribly busy in the sex trade. Not with all of that 20 something poon around. She even said as such. But how many of us have been taken by some girl that uses her sex appeal to separate us from our cash?

I visit Medellin once every 3 months for a week, certainly not enough for a serious relationship, however I do not doubt that she is interested in starting something. She is at the end of her "career", not the beginning. So I see that she is looking towards her future.

I'm 40, make really good money, have an apartment in Medellin (in September anyway), and I am in better shape than many 20 year olds. I think I am probably the best she can do given where she lives.

I could probably even go younger with no problems at all.

I sense a hesitation from her, perhaps she has been down this path before. I am not sure. However I can't get my mind off of her.

On the otherhand, when I move to Medellin, being surrounded by younger women that will be interested in me, do I really want a 38 year old woman with 2 kids? Will I feel different when I am in the land of temptation.

Its funny, I tell my friends that don't monger what I go to Medellin for. Several of them have expressed concern for me that without real roots somewhere, I will probably feel empty. That mongering seems fun now, but it will get to the point when I am surrounded by it, it will no longer be a big desire in my life.

Maybe I should settle down in Colombia and visit Loutron as needed just like all other well off Colombians.

Thoughts?

So Many Cliche's come to mind ! "you only live once" "its better to regret something you have done, than to regret doing nothing" and so on.
But as you have much experience on the "lifestyle" of this lady you are well prepared and aware of the pitfalls.
Though many men after the end of a marriage/relationship go
girl crazy or wallow in depression, you seem to be jumping right back on the horse.

Maybe the litmus test will be when "mentally" free from your marriage and in a new environment
things will seem clearer and If you dont succumb
to the "temptations" you mentioned this should
give your heart and head a clear view of the future you want.

We all believe we have the right to be happy or at least deserve to be happy ! bullshit, happiness is what we find as we go about living our lives, it can be encouraged by other people
but it always starts with yourself, because nobody knows better than yourself what makes you feel happy.
Good luck in whatever you decide.

Tell her honestly, that presently you're not interested in a serious monogamous relationship. Especially after a divorce, but that could change with the passage of time?

But you would luv to still date her, have her sleep over two or three times a week?

My two cents worth.

Actually, I wasn't clear. I want something with this girl despite the drawbacks. She's got the best disposition I have ever seen in a woman in this business and she can fuck like crazy.

I used to live in Rio and I can say hands down that I have only met one Rio hooker that can compete with her.

She's good looking (about a late 7 or 8 with a 10 body), she's really nice and doesn't have that short term mentality.

The biggest thing is that she doesn't ask me for money. Actually the exact opposite, she avoids the subject alltogether.

Why are you asking the collected perverts of CH about affairs of the heart, especially your heart? If I were facing a similar question (and here's hoping I never will!), this is the last place I'd come for advice. Sure, I like some of the guys on the board. Some of them are even semi-intelligent. But we (I include myself here) are not the best sources for sage advice on relationships.

Most of the facts you gave us, especially about yourself (age, income, physical condition, etc.) are completely irrelevant.

You already know all the downsides. Only you can assess the upsides in this particular case; we don't have a clue. Try to weigh the information somewhat dispassionately and then make a decision. Let the "big head" do the thinking.

Boa sorte, amigo.

(Message edited by Branquinho on July 25, 2006)

Bran, actually a lot of guys know me here. We have met personally. So I am always seeking advice from those I know.

A lot of guys know Olga as well so they do have a little history there.

Several guys on CH have had the same thoughts and have posted on this board. I think that they were helped by this group.

As far as describing myself, I think the purpose was to say that I wasn't some 60 year old and that she could do a lot worse. But you are right, it doesn't really add to my questions. Good point.

I suppose you are right. I actually got burned early in my mongering career from a girl in Costa Rica. It kept me on the straight and narrow for over 10 years.

For whatever reason, this seems different. I suppose they all do. I basically need the shit kicked out of me to wake up!

Sniper -

By any chance you're not fucking my novia, are you?

I've too got one that is captivating me...only she is 32 going on 45. Fortunately, I'm married...so I won't do anything rash...like get married to a second wife.

However, I know exactly where you are coming from. Sometimes we meet women that simply make something click inside.

There have been times in my life when I simply was "fuck" crazy...I'd set goals to see how many different woman I could fuck in one day. Then I'd rent-out one of my favoritas to see how many times she could make me cum in one-day...she tells me I still hold her record...fortunately we are still friends and now we will typically fuck only twice when sleeping an entire night together...usually upon climbing into bed...then once again before breakfast...I'm a bit of a morning man.

In those days I thought I was attaining the maximum gratification a man could possibly want...an indefinite supply of pussy...sewing my seed anywhere, everywhere, all the time.

However, I started to burn-out...quickly. Then when I moved back to the states, my daily mongering ended and I was forced to wait to monger only a couple times per year.

Financially I am better off. Physically and psychologically too. Sex is also much better, especially when you let your seed ripen for a few days before releasing it.

My guess is you've fucked your brains out and satisfied your carnal urge to sew your seed. However, there is more to life than just sex. Yes, I said it. Sometimes we need someone to care about...not necessarily someone who caters to all our pampered sexual needs.

However, my advice is not to rush into making a long lasting "locked-in" committment. Instead, if I were you, I'd make arrangements to see more of her. If the love continues to bloom, then invite her to live with you either part of the week or full-time.

Tell her that you were married once and it didn't work-out. You have no need to be married again...at least real soon. Nobody needs a piece of paper to be in love. Besides, marriage is really for those who want to make babies. Look at Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell...apparently they are doing something right...against significant Hollywood odds?

Nothing saying you can't fall in love with a whore...I suspect Jesus may have.

Just be careful and don't get her addicted to your money...dole it out as if it were poison.

The longer the relationship lasts and the happier you become will be a measure of your success.

Good luck.

AJ

Sniper,

Lets think this over rationally. I hope I dont sound harsh, but I feel this is a time when you need someone like Mike Ditka getting in your face. Your talking very seriously and we need to be 100% frank here.

Most marriages start out well enough. There is a big ceremony and everyone seems hopeful/positive. A year or so later, that initial positive energy diminishes. Then one day, it is all gone. You find that you have changed, she has changed, the world has changed. Then, its no longer about love but like business. You continue on married but not as lovers or friends, but more like business partners that signed a contract for a partnership. Its not fun, but seems more like a routine job.

I dont have to tell you all this, because it appears you have already been down this path once. However, it appears you need reminding. You are right now in the first stage where everyone is positive and hopeful.

You have no commonalities with this woman. She comes from a different world, a different culture. She has two kids and has already been through a failed marriage. After you get past the initial stages of love and lust, what is it that will still keep you close to this woman? The kids will NEVER regard you as their father and may even resent you. You might even hear the phrase one day "Your not my father".

So let me present you this scenario. A close charasmatic relative approaches you and wants to start a bar in San Francisco. He states that he will need half of your time and half of your net worth. This same relative had started up a bar in the past and it had gone bankrupt. So knowing that this close relative had gone bankrupt on the first bar, would you go in with him on a second bar? The answer to this question is a resounding NO. So if you wouldnt give half your time and cash to this relative, why would you devote the same resources to a woman who fell bankrupt in a previous marriage?

We have all heard the stories before. . .the guy abused the woman. The guy was an asshole. etc etc. How true is it that it was 100% the guys fault? There are always two sides to every story. Im sure the guy didnt all of a sudden go crazy without reason one day.

Now let me try to appeal to your investors side. The investment world is the ultimate demonstration of real world psychology. What happens when everyone appears positive about a company? Lets say for example NTRI. What happens is that the stock hits a high and then its all downhill from there. . .So now you are at a height of passion with this woman and from here on it will be downhill.

. . .and what about the fact that she will turn 40 soon. Most people's physical looks really go downhill after age 40. Sorry if that offends, but its realistic thinking. Lets say 5-10 years from now she will more wrinkled, gain about 15-20 lbs, maybe develop gray hair. Is that the woman that you want? Lets throw in some kids who might resent you and tell you "Your not my father"

So my ultimate advice is this. Make a list of all the negative outcomes. Then re-read the vows of marriage. Note the part about being there for her in the good AND THE BAD. If you cant be there in the most negative of these situations, then you should walk away right now without further thought on the issue.

Why not find a woman in her 20s with no kids and no post traumatic stress syndrome? Oh ok, she seems cool now. She doesnt exhibit any syndromes or negativity about the past. . .or maybe its just a front much in the same way a used car dealer dresses up used cars on a lot. Once you drive the car off the lot, suddenly the battery dies, the suspension squeaks and you realize that the dealer band-aided the car for presentation purposes.

Why not just leave well enough alone and never marry again? You were through one marriage already and you have nothing to prove this second time around. You got burnt running through the hot coals, once. Why run through them a second time around?

Think this over. All of a sudden you have gone from fun & games to the business side of the equation. Once you leave the fun & games side of the equation, then we cant help you anymore. You are on your own. . .

Wait until three months after the divorce has been finalized to make your next decision. Get the hell out if she starts pushing for marraige before then.

I met a beautiful girl in AC who stayed till 4pm the next day, then moved in to my hotel room the following day. We were together for the remainder of my trip, about 8 days. I never tipped her untill my last day, and she never ask for money, as a matter of fact, she paid my way a couple of times. As the relationship progressed over a about 1.5 years that`s all she did was ask for money , time and again, she need`s more money.

Point being, the girls who don`t ask for money sometimes are just much much smarter than ones who do, and are setting things up for a bigger score down the road.

Okay, that's it. Sniper is fucking my novia and I think Ironeagle might be my dad...way too much of a coincidence.

Ironeagle gives great advice...I swear I hear my dad talking when I read his words. No kidding.

However, Sniper is afflicted by a drive-by drugging...much as most of us are at one-time or another. There is a chemical in our brains that "triggers" when we are exposed to a pleasant experience, such as most initial encounters with beautiful and available women. This drugging is Mother Nature's way to get a guy to stick around with a women...to fall in love...to make babies...to stick around until baby starts to walk...then BAM! The drug wears off...the guy (a bit groggy) wakes up and realizes that he is locked-in and no longer free to lead his life the way he wishes. (The business partnership Ironeagle speaks of).

I agree whole heartedly with Ironeage about how a releationship evolves. And Foolagain makes a good point about the smart ones refusing to take money until they've got you drugged-up and under their spell...then they start to take.

Sniper is a smart guy...he's been around the block a few times. All he needs from us is a little sanity check. But he's had a few doses of the Opium and he confessed to us he is experiencing signs of addiction...what he needs to do is figure a way to keep getting his fix and also protect his long-term interests.

Maybe he could live with her but refuse to marry? Maybe one day he will marry her, but only with a pre-nup in-place...which I believe he has done with his first marriage.

Anyway...telling him to open the door and run like hell is no realistic solution. He knows better what makes him happy...and he needs to focus on his happiness with a few insurance policies well placed.

Good luck Sniper.

AJ

Whoa whoa whoa, who said anything about marriage? Fuck no to that! Even with my prenup, I'm paying a bunch of cash to get out of this marriage. I can imagine that a Colombian prenup would be far favorable to a Paisa that to me.

I'm done with marriage. I can't do that again. This was number 2, no need for number 3.

However I was not ruling out living with her when I move to Medellin. That was really my thought process. My apartment needs to be watched while I'm in the US anyway, I don't want to rent it out for short term rentals to a bunch of guys that are going to fuck girls in my bed? Do I want it to sit empty and gather dust?

I know that if she moved in and I didn't charge her rent (really what does it cost me anyway?), I don't think that she would be inclined to work. She doesn't seem to eager to work anyway, she's is home by 6 or 7 everyday to be with her kids everyday.

I'll tell you though, the ass kicking is helping a bit. Hell, she's older than my current wife! Looks damn better though.

If thats the case, then I give my full seal of approval. As long as there are no vows taken, no contracts signed and the relationship remains just a handshake agreement.

I would just add here to go get her that new birth control shot that lasts 3 months.

Vascectomy baby!

I don't do babies.

But, the question is, "While you are in the states will she be fucking other guys in your bed?"

I'm not sure how long you've known Olga, but I'd be cautious. If you give her the keys to your place without reasonably testing her honesty previously (lower value stuff)...she could literally clean-out your apartment...furniture and all.

Start small...then as she demonstrates trustworthiness, gradually work your way to handing her the keys...and since you are an insurance guy...you know enough what kind of policy you will need...just in case.

I've got a novia who wouldn't ask for any money either (initially). After about a year knowing eachother she hinted that she didn't have enough money for her next level in language school. I gave her $300...she insists it is a loan, but I know better. She has a legit job and insists she has never hooked...but I suspect she could moonlight...but after 2-years now I still suspect something could be going-on...but I have no real evidence and I admit I am a bit paranoid.

Then she pulled the money shortage for school again...about a year after I gave her the first $300. Every time I visit I also give her a little money to offset little things she routinely pays for...cab rides...sometimes she buys me drinks, pays token admissions, etc. In total over 2+ years, I'm in about $1K. However, she is a great fuck and never asks for money in exchange for sex. I figure the $1K in gifts and loans spread over 2-years is a pretty fair deal...I'd have paid a lot more if I paid whores for as many times as she and I fucked.

Yet, still I am cautiously watching...I wonder, am I frog slowly boiling?

So, I think there is really nothing wrong with your heating up the relationship with Olga...if you truly enjoy her company...great! Just keep your eyes open and every so often stop for a sanity check.

AJ

That is a good point. Everytime I have ever had a roommate or let a woman have the keys to my residence, I have always felt sorry for it later on.

Then there is her kids, family and friends. She may be very honest and trustworthy, but what about these other individuals that she will invite over. The kids are certainly going to tear the place up. A member of her family will surely lose their job and need a place to stay.

If you hand her the keys, make sure the place is only full of cheap used stuff that you can afford to lose. Install a webcam so you can monitor things remotely while your away. Have someone you know or pay off the neigbhor to give you weekly updates of whats happening around the apartment.

What are the eviction laws over there? If something goes wrong, is it possible to send her packing without a problem from the local authorities?

When the keys to my residence have left my hand, it has always resulted in a loss. . .you should expect something to go not as planned in a situation like this.

Actually you guys are right, if the property was in Vegas or some other destination I go to often, I would probably leave it empty and have a caretaker look after it while I'm gone. Medellin should be no different.

Funny thing yesterday, there was a girl that I have been flirting with in the US. I stopped because of Olga. She came into my office yesterday afternoon and she proceeded to pull her top off!

That seems like an invitation to me! I guess she was a little concerned that I no longer seemed interested. While I didn't seal the deal, we did have some fun behind closed doors.

I guess that shows you where my mind is at.

Sniper, if you live with any girl in Colombia for more than 2 years, she will be treated as a common law wife.

Just thought I would mention it.

Hunter

OK DECISION MADE. NO LIVE IN GIRLFRIENDS.

Thank you Hunter for saving my life!

No...she can live-in while you are there. Just give her the boot everytime you go back to the States...to restart her clock.

You'll have the stamps in your passport to show the breaks in your relationship.

AJ

Thats a given. Considering at this point I go there 1 week every 3 months!

Once I'm there fulltime, we'll see. Common Law is not something I want to fuck with. I'll have to talk with a Colombian attorney.

do I really want a 38 year old woman with 2 kids?

That's a big God Damn NO!

You're not even divorced yet. Clear your head first. You need/deserve a buffer period before you go supporting another woman.

I'm coming to that realization!

Funny thing is that I have a few women in the US already sniffing around me as well.

The only reason I would entertain having her stay at my place is that she can watch things while I am gone.

But I see the question coming up about moving her family in because they were kicked out of their house or some other story.

So, I think I'm over the "move her in" idea.

Thanks all for the support.

smell the bacon... I think I smell a rat !!

Digging up some of my old threads. She's history, I no longer see her at all after I broke up with her during Xmas.